


Shichi's Adventures in Russia

by Chosha_Hoshiko



Series: Love Without Fear [8]
Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Awkward Romance, Awkward Sexual Situations, Awkwardness, Break Up, Character Development, Child Neglect, Depressing, Developing Relationship, Enemies to Friends, Established Relationship, F/M, Fighting, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Grinding, Inappropriate Humor, Izaya and Shizuo are wonderful fluffy hosts together, Kazimir is a dork, M/M, Office Sex, Past Child Abuse, Russian Mafia, Russian Roulette, Sexual Content, Shichi is learning social skills
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-12-13
Packaged: 2019-05-16 22:49:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 121,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14820398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chosha_Hoshiko/pseuds/Chosha_Hoshiko
Summary: **Set with the same characters as "Private Lessons""Have you ever asked your dad about his past?"This simple question comes up Friday night when Shizuo and Izaya, after a long day at college, are about to have their weekly couple bonding time. Normally they just Netflix and chill, but Shizuo's question brings up some new points for the couple to consider: What do they know about Mikhailov Shichi's past? How did Shichi and Kazimir meet? When and why did Shichi join the mafia? How many struggles did he have? What was looking for his parents in Russia like? What exactly did he do in the mafia?With all of these questions and more running around in their minds, the solution of what they should do to answer them is obvious.Call Shichi on the phone every Friday, ask him some questions, and begin learning all about Shichi's Adventures in Russia!





	1. The Origin Story

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LoovvNoire](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoovvNoire/gifts), [MazeRaven](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MazeRaven/gifts), [voiceless_queen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/voiceless_queen/gifts), [tayumi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tayumi/gifts).



> Hello everyone! It is so awesome to see you all! (*⌒▽⌒*)θ～♪
> 
> I feel like "Private Lessons" just ended, while at the same time, I feel like it ended a long time ago. It's really weird! But in any case, plenty of you guys were curious about Shichi's past and the little unexplained tidbits about it (*cough* the bath house story *cough*), and you wanted to know just what was going on with little Shichi when he was still in Russia. Well my friends, in response to your questions, I'm going to be releasing this little side-story "Shichi's Adventures in Russia", which will update every Friday!
> 
> Yes, you will finally be able to meet young, teenage Shichi and hear all about his dangerous, hilarious, and often times VERY awkward adventures in Russia. This is just a little story where I hope to answer all the questions you may have about our lovely Shichi-sensei! 
> 
> Don't worry, another actual Shizaya story with that couple as the main focus should be coming out very soon. I'm still narrowing down the options of what I'm going to do...but I'm down to my last few! 
> 
> For now, I hope you'll enjoy this short adventure with me! Here we go! <3

“Have you ever actually asked your dad about his past?” Shizuo asked as he looked over at his roommate and boyfriend Izaya, the latter busy making dinner for the two of them after a long day of tests and classes.

Izaya glanced over his shoulder as he flipped some vegetables roasting in the pan, a thoughtful look crossing his face as he considered Shizuo’s question.

“You know what…I’ve only asked him a few things here and there.” Izaya admitted, turning back to the vegetables and taking a quick sniff to check how far along they were. “Never gone too in-depth on the subject.”

“Why not?” Shizuo wondered aloud, frowning while he flipped through all their recommended movies on Netflix, looking for something to watch. “He’s from Russia and he had some kind of crazy hard past life, right? That’s why he understands you so well.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean we have to chat about it over lunch.” Izaya defended himself, taking the sizzling vegetables off the heat and pouring them into a waiting bowl on the counter. With the last component of their dinner now finished, Izaya began the process of shutting off all the kitchen appliances in their small dorm room and setting up the dinner plates to bring out to Shizuo.

“I’m not saying you have to.” Shizuo told his boyfriend, listening as the small raven poured portions of roasted vegetables, rice, and yakisoba onto their plates. “I’m just saying that if it were me, I would be interested in hearing about Shichi’s past.”

Izaya hummed at that, finally bringing the plates over into the small space that served as their “living room”, giving one to Shizuo and snuggling up next to him on the couch as he clutched his own in his lap.

“Well, I suppose I could ask him a few things here and there.” Izaya muttered, his red eyes focused on the screen as Shizuo flicked through their options. “It might be interesting to hear about.”

“It would definitely be interesting to hear about.” Shizuo corrected, pressing a kiss to the top of his boyfriend’s head, more out of instinct than out of any particular mood at the time. “You should do it. Maybe that could be our Friday night bonding activity instead of “Netflix and chill”.”

Izaya looked at Shizuo skeptically, a bit of a small smile playing across his lips despite the doubtful look in his ruby eyes. “You want to hear about my dad’s adventures in Russia every Friday night?” He asked, poking at Shizuo’s nose playfully. “That’s a little odd for a couple bonding activity, don’t you think?”

“I think it’s a great idea.” Shizuo defended himself, resisting the urge to bite at Izaya’s finger and hold it hostage in his mouth like he’d done so often when the adorable raven started poking at him like this. That action spawned way too many tickle fights and teasing arguments, and Shizuo wanted to remain focused on the subject at hand this time. “Seriously. Let’s learn about your father together.”

Izaya pouted a little when he realized Shizuo wasn’t falling for his little instigation tactic, sighing and laying his head on Shizuo’s shoulder with a frown. “Learn about Mikhailov Shichi together, huh?” Izaya muttered, mulling the idea over in his way-too-intelligent mind.

“Yes.” Shizuo said firmly, rubbing his hand up and down Izaya’s arm as the raven thought. “It’ll be lots of fun. We could even get that manga artist down the hall to draw the stories out if they’re funny enough.”

Izaya laughed at this suggestion, his red eyes sparkling as he thought about his father being the subject of a new manga or anime. “You know…” The raven purred, his red eyes almost shining with glee as he thought about it. “Why not? “Shichi’s Adventures in Russia”. What could go wrong with that?”

“Episode One. The Bear Arrives.” Shizuo teased, poking at his boyfriend’s belly as the raven giggled beside him.

“No, no, no. _This_ would have to be the first episode.” Izaya said, gesturing grandly around the room as though it was an incredible movie set. “It’s the origin story of the manga! Where the telling of the adventures all began.”

“Ah…then we could be hosts for the manga who introduce the tales that happen each time.” Shizuo mused, nodding his head in appreciation. “I like it. Nice and original.”

“We could call Shichi on the phone every Friday and use some kind of thought bubble from his head to transition into the story he’s telling.” Izaya was getting pretty into this now, his red eyes turning glassy and far-away as he pictured their future manga. “It’ll be great! And then we can just transition to the next episode every Friday!”

Shizuo chuckled at his boyfriend’s excitement, pressing a gentle kiss to the raven’s neck as he babbled on.

“Sounds perfect.” The tall blonde muttered against the flawless white skin, reveling in the feel of Izaya in his arms. “Absolutely perfect.”

“Hey, hey, hey. Don’t you go getting all sappy and boyfriendy on me.” Izaya began to pout from above him, pushing at Shizuo’s shoulders to try and get him off. “You know it embarrasses me when you do that!”

“It only embarrasses you because you picked up that embarrassment from Shichi.” Shizuo protested, giving Izaya a pout of his own as he was detached from the grumpy raven. “You _used_ to love cuddling and compliments.”

“No! It embarrassed me then, too!” Izaya insisted, his cheeks turning pink as he hugged his torso and glared at Shizuo fiercely. “And…well, I didn’t say I don’t love it now…”

Shizuo tried not to snicker at the conflicted emotions crossing Izaya’s face. One minute he was insisting that he didn’t like something at all, and the next he was trying to subtly say that he still loved it.

Shizuo loved him so much.

“Come here, you little flea.” Shizuo smiled, gently grabbing Izaya’s arm and pulling him into a hug. “Let’s let the origin story of the manga begin with some cute cuddling between love interests.”

“Shouldn’t the relationship develop over time?” Izaya muttered, but nuzzled into Shizuo’s chest nonetheless, breathing in Shizuo’s scent like the adorable little thing he was.

“No way. I like our relationship right where it is.” Shizuo said in response, running his fingers through Izaya’s hair and smiling at the wall right past his head.

“Hmmm…” Izaya hummed, closing his eyes and just holding onto Shizuo as they sat there on the couch, their dinners and movie completely forgotten.

After a few seconds of this warm cuddling, Izaya spoke again.

“I’ll go ask Erika tomorrow to see if she’ll want to do the manga for us.” He mumbled, seemingly content in Shizuo’s arms for now. “If she says yes, then we’ll start the calls to Shichi next Friday. And we better come up with a list of things to ask him or this could get pretty derailed.”

“Good point.” Shizuo kept running his fingers through the silky hair, thinking about what they should ask. “Maybe if we run out of ideas, we can ask people what they think we should ask.”

“What people?” Izaya frowned, tilting his head and staring at Shizuo in confusion. “No one else is in on this little manga thing, right?”

“You know Erika. She’ll post this manga online right away if she likes it enough.” Shizuo scoffed, shaking his head at the very thought. “Then all kinds of people can read it and make suggestions if they want.”

“Oh, that’s true.” Izaya muttered, tapping his chin thoughtfully. “But…I suppose that makes our lives easier if we can’t think up new questions, right?”

“That’s what I was thinking.” Shizuo nodded, smiling down at the small raven in his lap. “So we’ll start this manga thing, Erika will write and draw it up, it’ll get posted online every Friday, and we as well as several other people will finally get to learn about Mikhailov Shichi’s past.”

“This…actually sounds like a good bonding activity.” Izaya said in surprise, staring at Shizuo with wide eyes. “I can’t believe you came up with a good idea, Shizu-chan.”

“Oh, shut up.” Shizuo scowled, hitting his giggling boyfriend upside the head. “Now you think of how to ask Erika tomorrow to do this manga for us, and I’ll start thinking of the first question to ask Shichi on the phone next Friday. Sound good?”

“Sounds good.” Izaya responded happily, pecking his boyfriend on the cheek before returning to his hug. “Episode One of “Shichi’s Adventures in Russia” will air next Friday!”

“We hope to see you there.” Shizuo grinned, beginning to get into his role as a host. “Episode One: The Bear Arrives.”

“Oh shut up, Shizu-chan.”

“You know you love me.”

“…That’s beside the point.”


	2. The Bear Arrives (медведь прибывает)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I know this update is a little earlier than the last one was (and by that I mean a lot earlier...like ridiculously early in the morning) but my time zones are kinda weird right now because of this trip I'm on. So it's actually like 7:20 pm for me right now. XD You'll never guess where I am right now!! Actually you might. It's not hard to guess. But there's a picture I took here at the bottom of the chapter if you care to look. It'll most likely make it pretty obvious as to where I am.
> 
> In any case, here is the next chapter and long-awaited start of Shichi's actual adventures in Russia! I hope you enjoy! It's a little slow right now, but it'll pick up soon. Trust me! See you next Friday! Bye! <3

“Well Shizu-chan, it looks like your idea wasn’t a bad one after all.” Izaya admitted, staring at Shizuo’s phone in awe as he read through a few of the comments on Erika’s new manga.

“Wait, are you serious? Are you actually _admitting_ that something I thought of was a good idea?” Shizuo asked in mock disbelief, dramatically planting a hand over his heart as he came closer and peered over Izaya’s shoulder at the screen. 

“Oh shut it.” Izaya rolled his eyes, purposefully scooting away and angling the phone so that Shizuo couldn’t see the praise coming in. “It was _barely_ a good idea. Don’t get your hopes up. You’re still pretty dumb.”

“Aw, in Izaya-speak that means my idea was amazing and you actually think I’m pretty smart.” Shizuo teased, bending over and kissing the top of Izaya’s head as the raven pouted. “Thanks, baby.”

“Don’t call me “baby”.” Izaya muttered, the tips of his ear flashing pink at the sound of the rarely-used nickname. “And how do you know me so well?”

Shizuo chuckled and walked off to grab Izaya’s phone, bringing it over and dropping the device in Izaya’s lap. “Because I love you and you love me, maybe? But never mind all that, it’s time to call your father and actually get this show started.”

Izaya glanced down at the phone, humming as he set Shizuo’s down at his side and picked his up in its place. “Well…I suppose now we should get to the actual thing.” The raven admitted, frowning at the screen. “Should we read any of the comments this time?”

“Nah, there aren’t any questions.” Shizuo said casually, scrolling through the phone on his own now that Izaya wasn’t guarding it. “Just a lot of excitement for the idea. Oh, and a lot of people are happy that Erika is back. Apparently she went on a short hiatus.”

“Well luckily for her, we’re an amazing reason for her to come out of it.” Izaya said proudly, preening on the couch as Shizuo rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah. Now let’s start being actual hosts for once, okay?”

“You are a killer of fun.” Izaya said flatly, his red eyes boring into the tall blonde as Shizuo shrugged unapologetically. “Not sorry.” He said simply, smiling down at Izaya.

Izaya sighed and stood up, opening his phone and dialing Shichi’s number while Shizuo watched carefully. There was a brief pause when Izaya finished typing in the number, then Shichi’s caller ID popped up (a picture of his cat, Fluffles) and the device started to ring, connecting to the grumpy man on the other side.

Izaya put the phone to his ear and glanced over at Shizuo, nodding once before focusing his attention on the phone call that was about to occur.

In the meantime, Shizuo cleared his throat and held his phone up in the air, pretending it was a camera filming them both.

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.” Shizuo announced, bowing slightly to the camera. “Welcome to “Shichi’s Adventures in Russia”! I’m your host, Heiwajima Shizuo.”

“And I’m your other host, Orihara Izaya!” Izaya added from the background as Shichi finally picked up on the other end. “Ah, Dad? Great! You’re still awake. Listen I want to ask you something if that’s alright.”

Shizuo snickered as Izaya began to try and coax permission from his father to ask the secretive man questions, grinning at his own phone as his golden eyes glinted. “Tonight we will attempt to begin our journey into Shichi’s past.” He started again, holding the phone up high. “And answer our never-ending questions about Izaya’s father along the way. This is Episode One: The Bear Arrives.”

Izaya’s voice rose up after Shizuo finished his announcement, cutting into the air like a blade through butter. “Great. Thank you for agreeing so quickly, Dad. Here’s my question: what happened when you first got to Russia…”

***

This was bad. This was really, ridiculously, stupidly bad.

Universe! Why did you have to hate him so much?!

Suzuki Shichi groaned, staring at the frozen ground beneath his feet at a total loss of what to do. He was seventeen. A seventeen-year old boy for the love of all things holy and good! What the hell could he have possibly done in some stupid, Russian airport? Did he even _look_ like a terrorist? No! No he did not! But the customs inspector had taken one look at Shichi after he’d gotten off the plane with the other passengers and filed into immigration and immediately called security to get him out of the line. The dumb thugs had proceeded to drag him (quite literally) kicking and screaming to this ice box of an area outside the airport, without even allowing him to try and prove that he was supposed to be here.

Now granted, he probably would have been kicked out of the airport anyway because he didn’t actually have a passport to get him through immigration inspection and he’d actually been sneaking his way through airports and onto planes so far…but that was irrelevant! He should’ve at least been given a chance to attempt to fool the airport staff into thinking he was a legal passenger! It wasn’t fair that they’d immediately decided to chuck him out here before he could say anything else.

Shichi kicked at the ice on the hard earth under his feet, glaring at the chinks that formed in it just like the chinks in his admittedly-flawed plan. The freezing wind whistled around him, blowing straight through his thin T-shirt and shorts, raising goosebumps on his skin and sending chills through his whole body. They’d left him outside in freezing cold weather, in shorts and a T-shirt, without even letting him check the baggage claim for the one suitcase he’d been able to sneak across three countries, two exchange flights, and a metal detector. He was attached to that poor suitcase. He needed it by his side for emotional support. But had those security guards even _tried_ to listen to his protests? No!

“Well…this is Russia. They probably didn’t understand your Japanese.” Shichi admitted to himself out loud as he stared at his feet. “But…they definitely had to understand the English! English is like a worldwide language! What’s their problem?!”

Shichi finally looked up for the first time since being dragged out of the airport, glaring at the icy world around him that he’d thrust himself into without really thinking.

There were tall buildings rising all around him, stretching far off into the distance, and there were actually a lot of people bustling around, trying to get to places without interacting with anyone around them. He’d arrived in the winter so there was a fair amount of snow and ice everywhere, sprinkling over the buildings and tingeing the world white, but there were still some surprisingly clear areas without snow and ice coating them yet. Maybe all those rumors about Russia being a totally barren wasteland were slightly exaggerated…although it was still cold as hell!

Shichi wrapped his arms around himself with a shiver, watching all the Russians run by in coats and pants, not even glancing up at him as they darted past, wishing fervently that he knew how to mug a Russian. He would so take that lady’s coat if he could, with its fur-lined sleeves and thick, fuzzy appearance in general. Oh, or that guy’s trench coat with the buttons running up the front and completely blocking out the icy wind in the air.

Shichi sighed, enviously watching all those warm Russians as he stood outside the airport, trying to figure out how to get back in and snatch up his bag, shivering slowly to death.

“The universe truly hates me.” The teenage boy muttered, glaring up at the sky. “What did I ever do, huh?! If it’s something from a past life, that ain’t my problem! I’m someone else, in case you couldn’t tell! Let it go and move on! I’m sure you have better people to punish! Like _actual_ terrorists!” He waved a fist at the sky, yelling at the top of his lungs and not even caring about all the people looking at him like he’d just broken out of a special padded room that came with crayons and a straightjacket.

“Move on!” Shichi yelled again, beginning to jump in place as he waved his arms around frantically. “Move on, I say! Before I come up there to your universe headquarters, lodge a complaint, wait for your secretary to leave, barge into your office, and beat up your sorry ass! Hear me, universe? I’m coming to beat up your a-”

“Shichi Suzuki?” A deep voice asked from behind him, the words thick and heavy with a distinctly Russian accent.

Shichi spun around in shock, immediately spotting the massive man wearing an airport security uniform behind him, black trench coat fluttering slightly in the wind as his icy blue eyes stared down coldly at Shichi. Geez. This guy looked like something right out of a doomsday movie.

“Please don’t be a terminator in disguise. I am not John Connor.” Shichi said aloud before he could stop himself, and the man quirked up one eyebrow as he watched him, face still impassive and unchanging. “Shichi Suzuki?” He repeated again, clearly not having understood a single word that Shichi had just said.

Shichi quickly shook himself out of his doomsday daze and nodded once at the man, choosing not to let himself speak again in the presence of this guy. Who knows what stupid things he might say that this guy would actually understand?

The man grunted in satisfaction at the response, gesturing once for Shichi to follow him, and then spinning on his heel to march back inside the airport.

Shichi stared after the man in shock, wondering what the heck was going on. Hadn’t he just been ousted from the airport? Like kicked out and banished forevermore? Why was he being invited back in? Were they going to interrogate him now? Torture him until he talked about why he’d snuck into Russia without a passport? Torture him until he talked about _how_ he’d snuck into Russia without a passport? There were so many things that could be wrong with this situation but…the guy was leaving fast and so was Shichi’s offer of warmth inside the airport.

The need for warmth trumped the need for reason, and Shichi swiftly darted into the building after the marching security guard, blue eyes spotting him over to the left of the large airport as the man headed for some part of the building that Shichi hadn’t been to yet. Shichi ran to catch up with the man, walking along just behind him and his swooping trench coat as he marched.

The man didn’t say anything now that Shichi was actually following him, nor had Shichi really expected him to. In fact, he didn’t actually think the guy would care whether he was following or not. The man just moved and expected Shichi to either trail behind or get lost. He had things to do. Clearly, Shichi wasn’t at the top of his list.

Hardcore, man. Shichi should start acting like that.

After a few minutes of this follow-the-leader game, the imposing man finally stopped at the end of a long line in some other section of the airport. He stepped aside and moved Shichi to the back of the line, pointing at the sign overhead with a small grunt. “Here is correct line. Stay.” The man said in heavily accented English, some of which Shichi managed to catch and some that just sounded garbled beyond interpretation. In general, he got the message that this was the line the man wanted him to be in. That was really all he needed to know. He had no plans to defy this man while he was still in reach of that terrifyingly muscular arm attached to the equally terrifyingly muscular body.

Shichi glanced up at the sign overhead, staring at the Russian lettering without a clue of what it was saying. This…was not helping him at all. He glanced ahead at the people in line in front of him, maybe checking to see if any of them looked like terrorists and thus if it was some kind of terrorist inspection line (did they even have those?) but they all just looked like regular Russians. That didn’t help much either.

In any case, Shichi turned to the man and nodded, more to show that he understood what to do than in thanks, and the man nodded back before spinning on his heel again and marching away.

Shichi watched him go for a bit, wondering what the heck was going on, and looked up helplessly at the Russian sign above him. He dearly wished he knew Russian right now but he had absolutely no clue of what that sign said, where he was going, where his beloved suitcase was, or what was going to happen to him.

All he could do was wait in line with his plane ticket, watching as the people in front of him turned their tickets in to a customs inspector and moved on without a care in the world.

The line grew shorter and shorter and Shichi’s nervousness grew higher and higher as he neared that dreaded customs inspector, the blonde woman taking each ticket with a bored expression, scanning it, and handing it back with some kind of Russian statement to each person who walked by. It all seemed like a fairly simple process, nothing like the immigration customs that Shichi had gone to earlier, and nobody was being shepherded into interrogation rooms. As a matter of fact, when Shichi glanced ahead of him to see what was going on, all the people in front of him just seemed to be walking off to a baggage claim, grabbing their stuff, and leaving.

Huh? Which line was this?

Shichi looked back at the sign one more time, now seeing the backside of it since he’d passed it, and his eyes almost popped out of his head.

The sign said “Nationals Customs Inspection”. “Nationals” being local Russians and people native to Russia. Shichi…was definitely not a national. He had never even been to Russia before. He’d lived in Japan his whole life. He was certified as a Japanese citizen. He couldn’t even read, write, or speak Russian in any way, shape or form. Why had they put him in the national line?!

_“билет(bilet).”_ A harsh voice ordered, snapping Shichi out of his daze and making his head spin around to spot the Russian inspection lady, holding out her hand impatiently to him with a frown. Her blue eyes seemed to cut into Shichi’s soul as she waited for something, seemingly not understanding why he was taking so long. What was she waiting for? Why was she holding out her hand like that? Did she want his money? Shichi was broke, woman! He didn’t even have a job back home!

Wait, she’d been doing this to everyone so far, right? Everyone in line had been giving her their tickets as they got up to this desk in order to move on...

Oh crud! “билет(bilet)” might mean ticket!

Shichi quickly dug into his pocket and handed her the crumpled piece of paper, waiting nervously as the woman scanned it under her machine and analyzed the screen with those bored icy eyes.

After a few seconds, she handed him back his ticket and waved him on towards the baggage claim. _“Спасибо(spasibo).”_ She said flatly, turning her attention on the next person.

Spasibo? Like…placebo? No, that didn’t make any sense. Maybe she was saying thank you or have a nice day or something like that.

Or telling him to get out of her face. Shichi would probably say that if he’d been in her shoes.

Shaking his head to get the thought of the bored customs lady out of his mind, Shichi looked around the baggage claim, trying to find the carousel with his flight number on it. His precious suitcase would be on that one, waiting for Shichi to save it from the bags all around it.

“I’m coming, my love.” Shichi said quietly, finally spotting the correct number and dashing over to the conveyor belt of bags. “I shall save you from your hell.”

He slid to a stop right in the middle of a crowd of Russians who all glanced at him briefly before going back to whatever they’d been doing before. Apparently they didn’t care about the weird foreigner bursting in on their personal space. Who knew Russians were so understanding?

And as Shichi waited for his bag to appear on the conveyor belt, even more odd things started happening.

Several Russians walked up to him and tried to start conversations, a few seemingly asking him for directions, and maybe some that were wondering where his parents were. None of the security guards looked twice at him for a passport, and no one asked him where he was from or what he was doing in Russia. It was like everyone was assuming he was just where he was supposed to be, like all of them. No one even questioned his presence at all. Seriously, what was going on?

And then, like a lightning bolt from the gods, it hit him.

That immigration inspector had taken one look at him and had him pulled out of immigration. He’d been left outside for a little bit but someone had come to get him and taken him to the nationals line just a few minutes later. No one once asked for his passport. Everyone seemed to assume that he read and spoke Russian. And no one was looking twice at him as he stood there, waiting for his bag.

Did they…did they all think he was Russian?

Shichi stared in shock at his hands as the realization swept over him. Yes, Shichi knew that he looked Russian. He had Russian parents, after all. He just didn’t know who they were. But he’d taken on their pale blonde hair and icy blue eyes, as well as European facial features and a slightly tall stature. He was pretty good with cold weather (although standing outside in shorts and a T-shirt had been a little extreme) and he usually gave off the standoffish impression that he was getting from all the Russians around him. Yes, Shichi seemed…Russian.

Oh my goodness. Everyone here was assuming he was from their country. He’d…he’d fooled the airport staff. He didn’t need to use the passport that he didn’t have. They just let him go.

“What in the…” Shichi said quietly, still gawking at his hands. “Is the universe actually being kind to me for once?”

Or did Shichi just belong here instead of Japan?

He didn’t know. He really didn’t know.

Someone patted his shoulder and Shichi looked up in shock to see some tall blonde man, pointing at the carousel and saying something to him in Russian.

Shichi looked over at the conveyor belt and saw that his bag was the only one still going around on the belt. Oh crud. He’d must have spaced out longer than he thought.

Shichi looked quickly back at the man, who seemed to be looking at Shichi expectantly. Maybe he’d asked if the bag was Shichi’s or something. Shichi couldn’t ruin his Russian image now! They’d ship him off to an interrogation room for sure!

He took a chance and nodded quickly at the man, throwing in a hurried “Spasibo” as he darted over to his bag. Hopefully he’d just thanked the man instead of telling him to get out of his face.

He grabbed his suitcase off the belt and threw a glance over his shoulder at the man from before. The guy simply nodded at him and left, apparently not finding anything weird about what Shichi had said.

Okay. “Spasibo” meant “thank you”. Good to know.

Shichi blew out a breath, running his fingers through his icy blonde hair as he waited for his brain to come up with an amazing solution as to what to do next. So far it was just recapping everything that had happened to him so far, trying to comprehend it.

He’d made it to Russia as an illegal passenger on a plane by using a legally purchased ticket (but no passport for international travel).

He’d been pulled out of immigration customs inspection and taken to a weird waiting area outside the airport. He was then brought to national customs to be inspected as a resident of Russia.

He’d been completely mistaken for a Russian national and had now gotten all of his baggage (one suitcase) without anyone giving him a second glance.

He’d learned the word for “thank you”. Probably.

And now…well, now he was standing in the baggage claim, trying to figure out what to do next.

“How did I even get myself into this situation?” Shichi wondered aloud, sighing deeply as he looked around the vast airport. “I made it here to Russia without a plan for what to do if my ill-conceived plan to get here actually worked. I need to figure out what to do next. I…I need to find my parents.”

Shichi felt a pang in his chest as he thought about the people who’d given life to him. They were something of a distant memory for the Japanese teen. All he had were silhouettes, hovering over him for a few seconds. Black silhouettes. Unreachable. Untouchable. Unable to contact him or let him contact them. They were so distant. Just the shapes of people that he may have seen once or twice in his entire lifetime. 

He didn’t even know their names.

All he knew was what his adoptive parents, the Suzukis, had told him about when they found him in the adoption center. He'd been the cutest little baby with chubby cheeks, blonde hair, and blue eyes, laughing and waving his hands in the air in delight. A picture-perfect angel to add to their family unit. They were told that his parents were from Russia and had gone back almost right after dropping him off. And…then the Suzukis had taken him home.

Well, after all the adoption paperwork and shit, of course. They’d shown him the stack of papers that they had left over from the adoption process once. _Left over_. It happened to be almost as thick as the largest book Shichi owned: the dictionary.

And that was the day Shichi decided that he would never, _ever_ adopt a child. Never in his life. Not even if it killed him. Because that amount of paperwork was just inhumane and definitely would kill him.

Well, adoption processes aside, the only thing Shichi really knew about his parents was that they were from Russia and had gone back after dropping him off in Japan. So they were somewhere here, in Russia.

“My parents are here.” Shichi whispered, gripping the handle of his suitcase tightly and gazing off into the space of the bustling airport. “My parents are here somewhere…and I’m going to find them.”

His stomach grumbled loudly, ruining the dramatic moment instantly. Ah, that’s right.

“I haven’t fed you for over ten hours. No wonder you’re angry at me.” Shichi sighed, poking at his belly as it continued to growl its complaints. “But it’s not my fault! We had to get on that plane or we would never have left Japan.”

Shichi paused as he realized what he was doing, and tried his best not to sigh again, this time in disappointment. “I really need to find some friends before I end up talking to my own stomach more than real people.” He muttered, looking around the airport for some kind of sign from above telling him where to find food or restaurants.

He found the good old golden arches of glory (McDonald’s) and immediately charted a course for the familiar food joint, feeling around in his pocket for the small amount of rubles he had changed his yen out for at the last airport. He hoped the exchange rate wasn’t too high here. He needed to at least be able to afford a burger upon his entry into Russia. And hey, maybe they would give him a local discount.

As Shichi began to ponder the benefits of pretending to be Russian, his imminent need for a job, and the best way to go about searching for two people he knew nothing about in a country forty-five times the size of his own, he could never have known what exactly was about to happen to him.

Shichi was about to meet a very interesting person.

***

“That’s it?! That’s all you’re telling me?!” Izaya practically shrieked, staring at the phone in his hand in shock before yanking it back up to his mouth and yelling into it, “You can’t leave me on that cliffhanger!”

_“Sorry Iza, but I’m freaking tired and this isn’t as important as my beauty rest.”_ Shichi yawned on the other end, not sounding the least bit sorry at all. _“Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to catch up on said beauty rest which you made me miss.”_

“Who was the person you met? Who was the first person you met in Russia?” Izaya demanded, glaring hard at his boyfriend as the tall blonde snickered quietly beside him.

_“I’ll tell you some other time.”_ Shichi sighed, the sound crackling through the other end. _“And I'll give you the answers to whatever other questions you have. But that is what happened when I first got to Russia. Yanked out of immigration, left in the freezing cold, brought over to nationals, and mistaken for a native Russian wherever I went. And you think they still would’ve asked for my passport even in the nationals line but hey. Не смотрите на зубы лошади, которую вам дали (Ne smotrite na zuby loshadi, kotoruyu vam dali / Don’t look at the teeth of a horse you’ve been given), right? I just went with it.”_

“You can’t leave me hanging like that!” Izaya wailed, gripping the phone and shaking it back and forth violently. “I need to know who you met! I need to know how you ended up joining the mafia! I need to know how you met Kazimir! Was the person you met Kazimir? Seriously man! Don’t leave me hanging!”

_“Good night, Iza.”_ Shichi called sweetly through the phone. _“Fluffles misses the other Fluffles. Mairu and Kururi both miss you as well. We all love you. Bye.”_

“Love you guys, too. Bye.” Izaya said sullenly, letting the phone drop to his side on the couch as Shichi hung up.

Shizuo snickered again and pulled his boyfriend into his side, kissing the top of his head affectionately. “Hey, don’t let it get you down, Izaya-kun.” Shizuo said gently, combing through the raven hair with his fingers in that special way he knew calmed Izaya down. “All you have to do is wait until next Friday.”

“I wonder if the viewers will feel the same way I do right now.” Izaya grumbled, smacking away Shizuo’s hand with a pout. “And if you keep trying to calm me down right now, you will end up with a slit throat. I must wallow and fume for a while.”

Shizuo shook his head with a smile, combing through Izaya’s hair one more time before obeying the raven’s request and keeping his hands to himself. He picked up his phone again, resuming his mock camera act as he shot it a smile, already thinking about how to tell Erika this story later.

“And that’s all for tonight, you guys. We hoped you liked this episode of “Shichi’s Adventures in Russia. See you next time on Episode Two: The Bear and the Crow.”

“Please share in my misery.” Izaya added, slumping farther onto the couch as he “wallowed and fumed”.

Shizuo chuckled and grinned at the camera. “Yes, share in his misery. Until next time. Bye!”

“See you then.”

“I love you, Izaya-kun.”

“I know.”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“…I love you too, Shizu-chan.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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> Here it is! Mount Fuji! Fuji-san! It's the view from just outside one of the hotels my family stayed in! We're in Japan! o(*≧□≦)o I'm still so excited about it! It's amazing! I love it so much here! I'm so happy that my family was able to come here for a short vacation. There's so much to do and it's just fantastic. But that's Fuji-san! The beautiful mountain famous all around the world! Oh, and today me, my sister, and my dad hiked up to Iwatayama Monkey Park on Mount Arashiyama. There were monkeys running all over the place and you could feed them, too! So I just randomly included a few pictures of monkeys here at the end.
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> I wanted to upload a video too but figuring out the uploading process got a little crazy...Anyways, monkeys aside, I hoped you enjoyed today's chapter! I'll see you all next Friday! Oh, and the first chapter of my new Shizaya fic should be done very soon! Bye! <3


	3. The Bear and the Crow (медведь и ворона)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I had so much fun reading all your comments on the last chapter, and I even got my first question for the story! Also, some people sympathized with Izaya and wallowed in misery with him at Shichi's cliffhanger so thanks for that. XD In any case, I am now back in America from Japan and I am ready to post the next chapter! I hope you enjoy finally discovering who the Crow is and that you enjoy the chapter! <3

“Hello, readers!” Izaya waved cheerfully, a bright grin on his face as he looked at Shizuo’s phone. “Today is the wonderful day where we release chapter three! Aren’t you all so excited?”

Shizuo tilted the phone to face him, staring into its lens with a small smile. “Izaya’s abnormally happy today because we got to have a special visitor in the dorm rooms.” The blonde explained, glancing back over at the cheerful raven. “I personally think Izaya looks adorable when he's this happy but Izaya will smack me if I say that on camera so I can’t.”

“You just said it!” Izaya pouted, glaring at Shizuo for a few seconds like he was debating whether or not to smack the blonde just as he had predicted.

Shizuo hastily waved his hands in front of his body as though trying to dissuade the eminent attack. “No need to get all worked up! We can just, uh, edit this part out later!”

Izaya hummed at that, considering the option, and then finally conceded with a nod. “Very well. We’ll edit it later.” He agreed, turning around and bending over to pick something up.

Shizuo looked at the camera and mouthed “No we won’t” very quickly before looking back at Izaya with a smile.

The raven’s back was turned to him and he was currently gathering something up in his arms, speaking softly to the object and stroking it as he did so. His head spun around just the tiniest bit, a wide grin on his face as he looked at the camera once more.

“Let me introduce you to my special guest!” Izaya purred, standing up and showing off the creature in his arms proudly. “My long lost best friend: Fluffles!”

The huge fluffy cat looked over at the camera in disdain, his tail flicking back and forth in the air as he simply meowed once, possibly as a greeting and possibly as a remark about how dumb this was. The black of his fur contrasted nicely with his pale blue cat eyes, the orbs planted on his face like two pieces of blue jade. He was a very lovely cat.

“Fluffles has replaced me in many things since his arrival.” Shizuo announced, shooting the cat a short glare. “Such as the duty of being Izaya’s cuddle buddy and study partner.”

Fluffles looked over at Shizuo smugly and meowed at him while Izaya massaged the cat’s fluffy head and cooed over how adorable he was.

Shizuo growled a little at the cat and then turned his glare on the camera. “I can’t beat the smug little feline up because it would upset Izaya.” He whispered angrily to the camera, complaining as best as he could while trying not to let his boyfriend overhear. “And personally, I blame this one reader tayumi for all of my current problems. Because-”

“Because tayumi asked some lovely questions about Fluffles and is officially the first reader to have submitted a question to us!” Izaya cut in cheerfully, scooting in front of the camera and holding up Fluffles proudly. “So naturally, we just _had_ to invite Fluffles to make a surprise appearance while we answered said questions.”

“Yeah. Just _had_ to.” Shizuo muttered off to the side, still glaring fiercely at the cat that had replaced him for a day.

Fluffles shot Shizuo another smug look and then turned his fluffy head to the camera, black fur giving off a glossy shine in the light of the device.

“Isn’t he pretty?” Izaya purred, rubbing his cheek on the top of Fluffles head. “Oh my Fluffles! I missed you so much!”

“The questions, ‘Zaya. The questions.” Shizuo muttered gruffly, gently pushing Izaya’s head away from Fluffles.

“Oh right!” The raven chirped happily, grinning at the camera. “So tayumi first asked what breed Fluffles was and then gave a really good guess. Tayumi’s guess was correct! Fluffles is a black Maine Coon cat. He’s about nine years old, weighs fifteen pounds, has a slight bit of an attitude-”

“Slight bit?!” Shizuo cut Izaya off this time, glaring at the fluffy cat evilly. “This cat has more sass than you!”

“No one has more sass than me, Shizu-chan.” Izaya said instantly, stroking Fluffles in his arms as he gave Shizuo a harsh glare. “No one.”

Shizuo refrained from mentioning the way his boyfriend currently looked like an evil villain stroking his cat, merely nodding and deciding that this argument was not one he was willing to have.

Izaya nodded in approval and then looked back at the camera with a smile. “And tayumi’s first big question was, and I quote, “when and how did Shichi get this lovely creature?”” Izaya snuggled up against Fluffles again, face shining with happiness. “See Fluffles? Everyone knows you’re lovely and they haven’t even seen you yet!”

Fluffles meowed in satisfaction, puffing up his fluffy chest proudly which made him look even bigger than he already did.

Shizuo rolled his golden eyes, glaring at the cat from behind. “One person does not equal everybody.” He muttered, but not loud enough for Izaya to hear.

Izaya kept rubbing up against Fluffles for a few more seconds and Fluffles rubbed up against him in return, until the raven finally looked back up at the camera. “So to answer your question, tayumi,” The raven said happily, smiling widely at the device. “I have written it down in my list of questions to ask Shichi. I also casually mentioned it to him over dinner and he said he’s had Fluffles since Fluffles was a newborn kitten. I did the math!” Izaya held up a finger proudly, still somehow managing to hold the massive Fluffles in just one arm. “And that means he got Fluffles about two years into his time in Russia, around the age of nineteen! And since I’m making my questions chronologically line up, tayumi will unfortunately have to wait until then to get the full answers to that wonderful question.”

“We hope that’s good enough for now.” Shizuo added in, finally moving back into the camera frame, although making sure he stayed a little ways away from Fluffles. “We’ll be moving into the next episode here shortly.”

“Just as a side note!” Izaya threw in hurriedly, flashing the camera a bright smile. “Thank you to tayumi and Professor_Shwein for wallowing with me and my misery last week, and thanks to all of you for mentioning how great it is that Shichi went from being certain he would never adopt to adopting three children. I rubbed that in his face every time we talked on the phone this week.”

“Probably why he hadn't called you since Wednesday.” Shizuo pointed out, and Izaya glared at him.

“Oh shut up, Shizu-chan.” The raven scowled, still petting Fluffles fondly. “In any case, let’s get on with the episode! Here, hold my cat.”

Izaya shoved Fluffles into Shizuo’s unwilling arms and grabbed his phone from the couch, glancing briefly at his list before dialing Shichi’s number and putting the phone to his ear.

Shizuo and Fluffles glared fiercely at each other, neither one willing to act out for fear of incurring Izaya’s wrath, but neither one happy with the situation in any way.

Eventually, Shizuo slowly held up the phone in the air, not willing to take his eyes off the treacherous cat for an instant and said, “Welcome ladies and gentlemen to “Shichi’s Adventures in Russia”. I’m your host, Heiwajima Shizuo.”

“And I’m Izaya!” Izaya yelled quickly from the background.

“And today we’ll be finding the answer to what exactly happened to Shichi at the airport.” Shizuo continued, eyes still locked on the growling cat in his arms. “Who is the mysterious person he met? It’s time to find out! Episode Two: The Bear and the Crow.”

“Hey Dad!” Izaya said cheerfully in the background. “Thanks for letting me take Fluffles for the day! Yeah, I know you didn’t know I had stolen him. That’s okay, I’ll blackmail the dean if he has a problem with it. So anyway! Who was the person you met at the airport and what happened next…”

***

The McDonald’s was, naturally, all in Russian and so Shichi had a heck of a time ordering his food. But he got by with a few grunts and head nods in the general direction of what he wanted to order, throwing in his good old, “Spasibo” when he was done ordering and when he walked up to pick up his food.

So far, no one seemed suspicious of his generally quiet behavior, and several of the other Russians ordering in line actually ordered their food like he did, with grunts and head nods or shakes and barely a few passing words of thanks whenever they finished. It looked like Russia was a pretty gruff, not-so-social country.

Shichi was loving this place more and more.

Shichi looked around the small restaurant for a place to sit down, eventually spotting what looked like an empty booth in the far corner. Oh, the universe was definitely being much kinder to him now that he was in Russia. He should just stay here forever.

Shichi quickly hurried over to the booth before any of the other antisocial people could take it, rolling his beloved suitcase along behind him, and plopped down with a sigh, setting his tray on the table and his suitcase next to him on the seat. He petted it fondly, smiling at how well the trip seemed to be going so far.

“Well, my love,” Shichi told his suitcase, patting one of the many scuff marks it had gotten over the course of their travels gently. “It looks like we’ll be okay here. At least for a while. You know, until the universe decides to bite me in the ass again.”

_“Извините/Izvinite.”_ A high voice said, and Shichi jumped in place, looking across the booth in shock to spot…a girl sitting right across from him.

And he didn’t mean like a pretty teenage girl or something. He meant an extremely small child. She looked like she was still under a meter (under three feet) tall! She was absolutely tiny. Her icy blonde hair was resting just above her shoulders and she had a full head of it, so she had to be at least 2 years old. But her eyes were this strange pale violent shade, just staring right into his soul with a maturity beyond her years, so Shichi wasn’t so sure she was that young. She had this little white dress on and a small fur jacket, but oddly enough, when Shichi checked under the table to see if her feet touched the floor (they didn’t), she didn’t have any shoes.

Why…why was this small being sitting on her own in McDonald’s in a Russian airport?

Shichi slowly sat up from his not-so-subtle check of the girl’s feet, staring right back into her pale violent orbs with his own icy blue ones.

“Uh…” He said slowly, fairly certain that there was no way he could communicate with a small Russian child. She probably only knew Russian and hadn’t started learning English yet, so there was no language that they had in common. This could be a problem.

The girl watched him some more, facial expression not changing at all, eventually cocking her head to the side when he took too long to respond.

_“Извините/Izvinite.”_ The tiny girl said again, watching Shichi carefully. _“Зачем/Zachem.”_

Crap, this was pretty bad. He had no earthly idea of what this girl was saying.

Shichi looked around desperately, hoping to see something that could help him out in this situation, although he wasn’t quite sure what. He wasn’t exactly good with children, and he suspected he’d be even worse if he couldn’t understand or talk to it either. Was there a child lost-and-found at the airport that he could just leave her at? Were child lost-and-founds a thing?

_“Зачем/Zachem.”_ The girl said again, this time a little insistently, smacking at the table with a tiny hand. _“Зачем/Zachem.”_

Shichi looked nervously at the child, unsure of what to do. “Look kid,” He finally said, using English since that was his best shot at being understood. “I don’t know what you’re saying.”

The girl paused and listened to him for a bit, confusion spreading over her tiny face at the odd words coming from Shichi’s mouth, and then she shook her head, slapping the table again with the tiny amounts of force that her arm could muster.

_“Зачем/Zachem.”_ She pressed, staring right at Shichi like he’d somehow be able to understand. _“Зачем/Zachem!”_

“I don’t know what “Zachem” means!” Shichi growled lowly, looking around the McDonald’s carefully to see if anyone had heard him. So far everyone was just eating their food and minding their own Russian business, not even looking in his direction. That was good. He couldn’t afford to be taken back through customs if they found out he wasn’t a local.

He turned his gaze back to the little girl who was now pouting at him, slapping the table with an upset look in her pale purple eyes. God, he really hoped she didn’t throw a tantrum or anything like that. Shichi couldn’t handle screaming, crying, fit-throwing children. He would leave her as fast as he could right then and there if she tried anything.

“I don’t understand you.” Shichi said slowly, hoping against hope that the girl would maybe recognize something in his speech. _Anything_. “My name is Shichi. I’m not from Russia.”

The girl paused again, her purple eyes widened as she stared at the teenage boy across from her.

Slowly, she lifted a tiny finger up to point at him, curiosity filling her gaze.

Shichi began to panic for some unknown reason, wondering if maybe the child had understood the “not from Russia” part somehow and was now going to turn him in! He doubted a child knew how to do that…but still! Maybe it was time to go. Yeah, maybe he should leave _now_.

But just as Shichi grabbed his suitcase and started to move out of the booth, burger and fries still untouched, the girl said, “Name.” in the same flat tone as before.

Shichi stopped and turned around to look at the little girl in astonishment.

She was still sitting in the booth, watching him, with a tiny smile on her tiny face. “Name.” She said proudly, her Russian accent heavily coating the word, but the English still there nonetheless.

She…she knew English. Maybe just a tiny bit but she still knew it!

Shichi immediately dropped fully back into his seat, staring at the little girl in shock. “You…You know what I said?” He asked slowly in Japanese, and confusion covered the little girl’s face again, the Russian child cocking her head to the side with a frown.

“Ah, sorry.” Shichi sighed, rubbing the back of his head and trying to remember all his basic English. He had to make sure that was all he used, and only the small words. Maybe she’d pick up something here and there and he could find a way out of this mess or even figure out what he was supposed to do with this small child in the first place.

“Um…” Shichi thought hard for a few seconds and then pointed at himself, hoping this would work. “My name is Shichi.” He said slowly, watching the way the girl started to nod in understanding, a light coming back to her purple eyes.

The little girl pointed to herself next, small smile back on her face, and said, _“ворона/Vorona.”_

Shichi blinked at that, marveling at the beautiful sound of the name, spoken in perfect Russian. It was a gorgeous name. Way better than “Shichi”. Number seven. The seventh child of a family with seven children. His parents just named each child the number that they’d come in. Ichi, Ni, San, Shi, Go, Roku, and Shichi. Not very original. He sort of hated his name.

He wondered what a pretty name like Vorona meant for a few seconds before shaking his head and getting back into the present. Focus, Shichi. The girl was waiting for what you would say next.

Shichi looked at Vorona, still smiling at him and waiting quite patiently for such a small child, and smiled back. “Hi Vorona.” He said slowly, and the child beamed back.

“Hi Shi..chi.” The girl responded, sounding out his name and nodding proudly when she had finished.

Aw…she was kind of cute.

Okay, now what to say next.

Shichi thought for a few seconds while Vorona waited for him to speak again, and then smiled at her. “How old are you?” He asked, and the girl frowned, tapping the table with her tiny hand as she thought.

“Old?” She repeated hopefully, holding a hand up above her head like she was measuring something.

Shichi shook his head. “No, that’s “tall”. _Old_.” He thought about how to demonstrate age, looking around the room for some kind of inspiration. He spotted an old man sitting in a table near them and pointed at him. “Old.” Shichi said, and Vorona peered at the man closely, then looked back at Shichi in confusion.

He frowned and then pointed at Vorona. “Young.” He said, then moved the finger to himself. “Young.”

Vorona thought about it for a while, but still didn’t quite seem to get it. Eventually she shrugged and pointed at Shichi. “How…old?” She asked slowly, watching him carefully.  
Ah…this girl was smart. She was going to see how Shichi answered and then try to figure out what he was asking from his response.

Shichi smiled and held out his fingers to her, first holding out all ten, and then seven. “Seventeen.” He said slowly, repeated the motion a few times.

Vorona watched his fingers carefully, and then a light bulb seemed to go on in her mind. Vorona held up one hand proudly, closing all her fingers except two. “Vorona _два/Dva_.” She said happily, which Shichi assumed must be two in Russian.

Crap, this kid was only two years old?! What was she doing out here on her own?!

Shichi looked around McDonald’s, hoping to maybe see some man or woman who looked like Vorona that he could take her too, but unfortunately that seemed to fit almost everyone around him. There was no one with purple eyes, but everyone else had the same blonde hair and pale skin. He couldn’t judge who her parents were based on appearance.

Shichi sighed and then looked at Vorona again, who was watching him with a happy look on her face. She was still holding up the two fingers in the air, waiting for him to say something, and Shichi smiled at her, nodding as he gently put her hand back down on the table.

“Very nice.” He said slowly. “Good.”

“Good.” Vorona repeated, apparently knowing that one.

Shichi took a deep breath, trying to think about what he should do next. “Um…parents?” He tried, looking at Vorona carefully. “Mommy and Daddy? Where are your Mommy and Daddy?”

Vorona didn’t seem to understand his exact question, but she recognized “Mommy” and “Daddy”. A bit of a sad look came over her face and she stared down at her lap quietly. “Mommy…Daddy…bad.” She said slowly, which didn’t exactly clear things up for Shichi but he was getting the general idea that they weren’t around.

Maybe they’d forgotten her somewhere or hadn’t shown up yet to pick her up.

Shichi blew out a sigh and scratched the back of his head, watching the sad little girl carefully. Okay, Mommy and Daddy were bad. What exactly did she want from Shichi?  
“Uh…” Shichi closed his eyes, trying to think of how to ask his question. “Does Vorona…want to go home?”

Vorona shook her head fiercely, apparently recognizing both her name and “home”, glaring at Shichi with those pale purple eyes. “Home bad.” She said firmly, crossing her arms with a pout. “Bad home. Home bad.”

Shichi frowned at that, watching the pout on the little girl’s face carefully. Okay, he couldn’t be sure whether she meant that her home was abusive or maybe she just didn’t want to go back right now. But either way, she shouldn’t be left in an airport alone, and she wasn’t acting scared of her home, just pouting at the thought of going back. Shichi could only assume that it wasn’t horrible: she just didn’t like it.

“Vorona.” He said softly, the little girl looking back up at him. “Go home.”

Vorona stuck her tongue out at him and shook her head, glaring all the while. “Bad.” She insisted, which Shichi was now assuming was also her way of saying “no”.

“Yes.” He said in retaliation, touching the little girl’s shoulder gently. “Vorona needs to go home.”

“Bad!” The little girl whined, shaking her head again and scooting out of Shichi’s reach. “Bad go.”

Yeah, “bad” definitely functioned for “no” in this girl’s English vocabulary.

“Yes.” Shichi repeated, moving over to Vorona’s side of the booth and gently placing a hand on her head. “Vorona needs to go home.”

Vorona glared at him, still not quite willing to listen to him at all.

Shichi sighed, running a hand through his hair as he tried to think of some way to convince her. Then an idea struck him.

This girl…she could be his ticket out. Shichi looked quickly over at Vorona, thoughts racing through his head while he examined the purple eyes and icy blonde hair. Vorona had a home somewhere, and he could take her to it if she let him. If that became the case, then Shichi would have a destination after leaving the airport and he wouldn’t just wander around like a lost person, attracting attention. Plus, if he left with a child who spoke Russian, maybe she could do the talking for him if they ran into anybody. Vorona might just be his key to getting out of this place alive. And hey, maybe he could find someplace to stay like apartments for rent or something on the way to her house.

“Vorona,” Shichi said slowly, feeling a little bad that he was planning on using the little girl but appeasing himself with the fact that he was also taking her home to her parents and that that was the real reason for this trip. “Shichi can take you home.”

Vorona thought about the different components in his sentence that she knew – which were probably her name, “Shichi”, and “home” – trying to put the message together. She looked at Shichi suspiciously, tapping on his chest with a frown. “Shichi go Vorona home?” She asked, and Shichi had to think about what the tiny toddler meant by that.

Maybe she was asking if Shichi was going home with Vorona. Yeah, that made sense. Shichi nodded, smiling as comfortingly as he could at the small girl beside him in the booth. “Yes. Shichi…uh, go Vorona home.” He said, and the little girl seemed to beam again.

“Good!” She said happily, hugging him tightly and then grabbing his fries, eating a few as she swung her feet merrily in the air. “Food!”

Shichi stared at the little girl for a few seconds, wondering if she would start crying if he took his food away, and then eventually sighed, returning to his own seat and picking up his burger. He could complain about it later once he learned enough Russian to do so. For now, he would eat his burger and leave with Vorona afterwards to take her home.  
He just hoped this plan would turn out okay.

_“Ворона любит старшего брата/Vorona lyubit starshego brata.”_ Vorona said happily from across the table, smiling at Shichi brightly with her purple eyes sparkling.

Shichi just stared at her, having absolutely no idea what she’d said aside from the fact that she was talking about herself.

“Spasibo.” Shichi finally said, the only thing he knew, and then went back to eating.

Vorona giggled happily and kept munching on her fries, seemingly content with Shichi’s response as they ate together in the corner of McDonald’s.

Shichi watched Vorona for a bit and then a small smile crept onto his face. It looked like, at least for now, it wasn’t just Shichi and his suitcase anymore.

***

_“Aaaand I’m tired. Good night. We all love you, Izaya. Good luck with your tests.”_ Shichi said from the other side of the phone, quickly hanging up before Izaya could protest.

“What?” The raven demanded, sitting up on the couch from his position where his head had been resting on Shizuo’s lap. “You can’t do this to me! Again!”

“’Zaya, you just disturbed your cat.” Shizuo pointed out with no small amount of glee, grinning evilly at Fluffles as the black devil tumbled off Izaya’s belly where he’d been laying to land unceremoniously on the floor, somehow still on all four feet as he glared up at Shizuo like it was his fault.

“Oh no!” Izaya cried, reaching down and scooping up the cat immediately, petting him with soft cooing noises. “I’m so sorry, Fluffles. I’m just a little worked up.”

Fluffles meowed and rubbed up against Izaya, shooting Shizuo another smug look over the raven’s shoulder as he purred all over Shizuo’s boyfriend.

Shizuo scowled at the cat and then pulled Izaya to lay against his chest, holding the raven in his arms and kissing the top of his head. “Don’t worry about it, baby. We’ll find out what happens next Friday.” The blonde promised, shooting Fluffles a smug look of his own as Izaya sighed and kissed Shizuo on the cheek in response.

Fluffles huffed and flicked his tail, the look in his pale blue eyes clearly saying he wanting to jump Shizuo but was unwilling to leave Izaya’s gentle strokes and warm embrace.  
“Thanks, Shizu-chan.” Izaya continued, blissfully unaware of the battle of dominance his cat and boyfriend were currently having over him. “I love you.”

Shizuo looked at the raven in shock, cat forgotten, as the words spilled so easily from his lips. “Wow. Having Fluffles here really makes you more cuddly.” He said in surprise. “Normally you would’ve slugged me for calling you “baby” and I would’ve had to say “I love you” first.”

Izaya shrugged, still holding onto Fluffles as he turned around in Shizuo’s arms and pressed another kiss to the blonde’s other cheek. “True, but you’re always sweet and I really am in a good mood today.” The raven explained, rubbing his face against Fluffles fur as he said so.

Shizuo watched them both for a bit, trying to decide if he was willing to let Fluffles come over more in exchange for a lovey-dovey Izaya, or whether he would rather just kick the cat out and have the regular Izaya all to himself.

…

Definitely option two.

“The cat leaves tomorrow, right?” Shizuo asked, glaring at the fluffy menace as it looked smugly back at him.

“Unfortunately yes.” Izaya sighed, finally setting Fluffles on the floor and looking at him longingly. “My beloved cat must go back to Dad tomorrow.”

“Praise the god of sweet strawberry milkshakes.” Shizuo said in response, lifting up his phone and angling it at himself and Izaya as they got ready to sign off. “Now let’s wrap this up, okay?”

Izaya nodded and wrapped his arms around Shizuo from behind, smiling at the camera with his chin perched on Shizuo’s shoulder. “That’s it this time, everybody! Hope you enjoyed this cute little episode of “Shichi’s Adventures in Russia”!” He sang happily. “And just so you all know, _Извините (Izvinite)_ means “excuse me” in Russian and _Зачем (Zachem)_ means “why” so I guess Vorona was trying to politely ask why Shichi had sat down at her table when they first began talking.”

Shizuo paused and looked over at his boyfriend in confusion. “So what does the last thing she said mean?” He asked, frowning a little as his brow furrowed.

Izaya grinned at that, and he clasped his hands together happily as he looked at the camera. “That part is the cutest, fluffiest thing in the chapter!” The raven said cheerfully. _“Ворона любит старшего брата (Vorona lyubit starshego brata)_ means “Vorona likes big brother”.”

“Aw.” Shizuo smiled, thinking about Shichi’s blank “spasibo” right after Vorona’s comment. “And Shichi said “thank you”. No wonder Vorona was happy.”

“Yep!” Izaya chirped, nodding up and down. “Now it’s time for us to sign off, okay? We hoped you like this Friday’s episode!”

“See you next time on Episode Three: The Bear, the Crow, and the Dragon.” Shizuo threw in, smiling at the camera. “Later!”

“Bye!”

“…”

“…”

“Erika is going to have so much fun with this.”

“Oh, I know right?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the Crow was Vorona! Who saw that coming? Did any of you remember from the show or manga where it explains that "Vorona" means "crow" in Russian? It'd be so cool if you did! So I had to do a ton of math to figure out how old Vorona would be when meeting Shichi for the first time and I have to say, it took a while. I had to figure out how old Shichi was when he first met Izaya, and then thus subtract to figure out how many years older Shichi is than Izaya. Then I had to look up Vorona's age and compare it to Izaya's. But that was hard to do since Izaya's age changes between arcs and Vorona shows up in an arc that Izaya is not initially listed in. I had to estimate as best I could and then compare it to Shichi's age of 17, figure out how old Izaya was, then subtract the difference between Izaya's age and Vorona's.
> 
> Yeah...it took a while. But I think this is just about accurate! I hope you liked this brief, fluffy chapter!
> 
> Oh, and I also included a picture of a black Maine Coon so you guys can have a general idea of what Fluffles looks like. See you next time! <3
> 
>  


	4. The Bear, the Crow, and the Dragon (Медведь, ворона и дракон)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Sorry that this is coming a little later in the evening. Honestly, I haven't slept that well for the past several days because of this weird traveling schedule that I had with rushing back and forth between my father and mother's houses, and today it hit me pretty hard. I was trying to finish up the chapter and I kept practically falling asleep while I was writing it. Like seriously, I had to take a nap before I could actually finish the chapter because I just couldn't stay awake.
> 
> Funny thing, every time I started drifting off while writing, I would end up thinking about some random thing like the movie "Shark Tales" and when I snapped back into the present, the last few lines in the chapter would be my half-asleep brain's interpretation of whatever I had started thinking about. And I was all like, "Did I really write that? When did I write that?"
> 
> Anyway, you aren't here to hear about my sleeping habits so here's the chapter! I hope you still enjoy it despite any errors it may have as a result of my sleep-deprived brain! <3

“So in short, some stuff has happened.” Izaya said cheerfully, grinning happily at the camera (Shizuo’s phone as usual) with his own phone clutched in his hand. “That stuff being basically that Shizu-chan completely bombed his last mathematics theory exam and had to beg his teacher for a retake so his grade didn’t crash.”

Izaya waved his phone around in the air, shrugging with a small sigh. “I told him I would help him study but did he listen to little old me? Of course not. I’m just the smart one in the relationship who gets perfect scores on nearly every assignment. What do I know?”

He rolled his eyes at the camera, repositioning it a little as he lounged on the couch with phone in hand, grinning once more at the lens that signified his audience. “Well, in any case, Shizu-chan is gone right now doing that retake. He sends his deepest condolences that he cannot help host our show tonight, and in return for having shorter moments with your lovely hosts, I’m going to try and get Shichi to talk for an extra long time today.” He winked once at the camera, red eyes glittering. “We’ll see how it goes. I hope you’re ready for tonight’s episode of “Shichi’s Adventures in Russia”. Episode Three: The Bear, The Crow, and the Dragon.”

Izaya brought his phone up to his face and began dialing the familiar number, humming to himself as he listened to the ringing tone.

His face brightened up after a few seconds and he held a thumbs up to Shizuo’s phone, turning his full attention on the phone call.

“Hey Dad! It’s me again! No, Shizuo isn’t here this time. Retake. That’s what _I_ told him! So anyway, here’s my question for the night: What happened when you took Vorona back to her family…”

***

Vorona was a very smart little girl. That much was already obvious to Shichi. She was (probably) two years old and (sort of) spoke two languages already. Maybe she was better with one than the other, but she was still able to hold conversations in both. That was pretty impressive.

Then there was the fact that she’d managed to handle the situation of being separated from her family without batting an eyelash, and she had even recruited a stranger to help her find her way home. That stranger was a foreigner who didn’t speak her language at all, but she’d still somehow found a way to communicate with him and get him to help her…even if he had been the one to push for her return home.

In any case, Vorona was a very smart little girl.

So why did she have such a hard time finding her way home?

“We already went this way, Vorona!” Shichi gritted his teeth and growled, trying his best not to react to the icy wind that was currently battering his exposed legs and arms as he walked around through Russia. In the wintertime. In shorts and a T-shirt.

This was (without a doubt) one of the stupidest things Shichi had ever done in his life!

“Bad.” Vorona insisted, shaking her head fiercely as she squinted through the wind blowing around her perch on Shichi’s back, searching for something. “This way good.”

As near as Shichi could figure, that was Vorona insisting he was wrong and that this crazed path they were taking was correct. Shichi let out a frustrated snarl, stomping forward in the next direction Vorona pointed without hesitation, wishing he could just magically teleport himself inside the toddler’s mind, figure out where she actually lived, and get her home.

“We’re going in circles.” Shichi insisted to himself in a growl as he stomped through the slightly iced streets, his Japanese coming out bitter and angry, almost to be mistaken for angry Russian muttering if you weren’t listening too closely. “This is pointless, this girl is taking me on a wild goose chase, and I want to get out of this mess that I’m in.”

“Left, left, left!” Vorona screeched in his ear, tugging hard on his hair and yanking him over…to the right.

“Damn it! Pick a direction!” Shichi yelled, yanking his head out of her weak toddler hands and marching over to the right. It was more likely that she had been trying to pull him in the correct direction and simply had gotten her English incorrect. And if Shichi had it backwards and left was the correct way to go, oh well. They were already walking in circles anyway.

“I’ve seen that icy tree about a dozen times!” Shichi barked, gesturing angrily at a sad shrub covered in icicles and frost that he had to have mourned the death of at least seven times at this point. “It’s the same tree! I know it!”

“Not same!” Vorona protested, hopping in place from her spot on Shichi’s back and pushing his head forward. “Go! Go!”

“I’m going!” Shichi snapped, huffing as he started off in the new direction Vorona had probably selected completely randomly. “Next time we do this, _you_ get to carry me everywhere while I lead us to all the same places over and over, hoping you won’t notice.” Shichi muttered under his breath, shooting Vorona a dark glare over his shoulder as the happy girl bounced on his back.

Vorona peered inquisitively at every building they passed, her light violet eyes seeming to take in every detail as they walked and store them away in her brain for later. It was like she was stockpiling information in case she ever needed it one day. Shichi had no idea how knowledge of the cheapest apartments around and their lovely features would help this little girl in the future but for now, it was something she was interested in and wanted to do. That was all he needed to know. And who was he to stop the toddler who’d hired him from wasting all her youthful time in life?

Shichi marched straight on and on, Vorona peering from her perch for something familiar that would hopefully end up being near her house.

After just a few minutes of walking, Shichi could feel something bump against his cheek.

“Vorona.” He called instantly, turning to face the tiny girl on his back. “Did you just poke me?”

“What? Bad!” Vorona protested, which was equivalent to, “What are you talking about and no, I did not poke you.”

And that meant that someone, or _something_ , had done it instead.

Shichi looked around him suspiciously, but all of the other Russians were rushing about their own business, occasionally brushing against his side as they stalked past but avoiding physical contact with him and each other in general.

“Who touched my cheek?” Shichi wondered aloud, raising a hand up to gingerly pat at the soft flesh coating his face. When he touched it, it felt ice cold to the touch. Almost like he’d taken a box of ice and dunked his head in it for several hours on end. Which, by the way, was definitely not something that he'd done before. Nope. Definitely not.

Shichi looked around for a while longer, icy blue eyes scanning the snowy city and rushing Russians around him, trying to see if any of them looking like a hardened criminal of poking innocent pedestrians as they walked by on the street. No one seemed to fit his mental image of one (although truth be told, he had no actual idea what one would look like…) and Vorona was pulling harshly on his hair again, trying to get him to move. So Shichi kept on walking, wondering if he’d imagined the poke on his cheek.

And then, just a few seconds later, the poke came back.

It was harder this time, like some small projectile had been flicked into his cheek rather than if a simple finger had poked it.

“Hey!” Shichi shouted, turning to glare in the direction where the hard flick had come from, completely ready to kick some ass over this admittedly small issue, child present or not.

But there was no one there. And yet another hard flick came from the same direction, even as he stared into it.

“Ow! What the heck?!” Shichi yelped, covering his face and glaring as more and more small projectiles started to hit his face, arms, and legs, like he was being attacked by miniature cannonballs.

“Uh oh.” Vorona whispered from her place on Shichi’s back, burying herself down into his body like that would protect her. “Hail.”

“Say what?” Shichi asked dumbly, feeling more and more small hits pelt his face as he stood there in the icy wind, freezing his tail off. “What do you mean, hail?”

“Hail!” Vorona whined, pointing up at the sky without unburying herself from Shichi’s back.

And when Shichi looked up…he saw the mother of all storm clouds, booming and thundering her way over to cover up the sky, with big puffs of white snow sprinkling down beside much harder clumps of hardened ice. The wind started to pick up, and the temperature was starting to drop.

Vorona was very right: it was a hailstorm.

“Oh shit!” Shichi cursed aloud, looking around quickly for some kind of store to duck into as the hail began to rain harder down on his head, pelting his poor exposed body and hitting it even harder than the wind and drought did before.

He could see all the other Russians around him, now full-on racing to get to their destinations in the hopes of getting out of the hailstorm, not a single one of them looking lost and confused like Vorona and Shichi were.

“Vorona!” Shichi snapped, shaking the little girl on his back a little just in case she couldn’t hear him over the whipping wind in their ears and the sound of hail beginning to clatter on the streets and sidewalks around them.

Vorona peeked up from her position huddled into Shichi, looking at him with those big and pale purple eyes. She didn’t say anything, but Shichi somehow knew that she knew he was talking to her.

“We need to get to your home!” Shichi yelled, grimacing as he finally stopped moving and stood in place, glaring at the little Russian girl on his back. “Got it? Vorona needs to go home. _Now_.”

Vorona seemed to get the urgency of the situation as she looked nervously up at the sky, closing her eyes and thinking very hard about where exactly her house was. And the longer she thought about where exactly it was, the more hail pelted down on Shichi’s head, the Russian-appearing boy roughly two seconds away from dropping the tiny girl on the sidewalk and just running out of this storm himself.

But just as he was beginning to loosen his grip on the toddler, ready to make a break for it, Vorona pointed her tiny finger straight away, determination and confidence filling her eyes. “There.” She said flatly, nodding her head once like her decision was final.

When Shichi stared at what she was looking at, he saw another street leading off to nowhere promising, that would most likely just take them in another big circle.

“Are you sure?” Shichi asked skeptically, glancing up at the grumbling storm clouds above and knowing that there was going to be far worse hail coming very shortly.

Vorona nodded her head, burrowing back into Shichi to protect herself and waiting for him to act on her directions.

Shichi sighed, hiking the toddler up on his back and cursing his terrible luck before dashing off in the direction that Vorona had indicated, praying to all things holy that she was leading him in the right direction.

After barely five minutes of this that felt like more of a small eternity, running through hail and wind in Russia in summer clothing (Really, universe? Really?), Vorona gave one hard yank on Shichi’s hard, harder than all the others had been so far, that pulled him to a complete stop.

“Here.” Vorona whispered in Shichi’s ear as the storm roared around them. “Home here.”

Shichi looked up doubtfully at a huge mansion that the little girl had stopped them by, with a plush green lawn out front currently getting mauled by ice, swooping rafters and columns that made the place dwarf all others around it, and a general aura of rich asshole surrounding the whole thing.

“Here?” He repeated doubtfully, icy gaze dropping to the front door where he could see an elaborate door knocker stuck on the wooden entryway, waiting to be used.

Vorona nodded beside him, making a bit of a sour face at the place as she looked it up and down. “Here.” She said gravely.

The storm clouds above gave an almost frightening roar of thunder, a loud threat of the huge amounts of hail to come any moment now, and Shichi just decided to take his chances with Vorona’s terrible sense of direction. What was the worst it could have done, anyway? Led them to the home of some member of the Russian mafia? Yeah right. Even Shichi wasn’t _that_ unlucky.

The Japanese boy who looked Russian ran up to the front door of the mansion, Vorona tucked securely into his back, and grabbed the knocker without a moment’s hesitation, banging it loudly against the front door.

He stepped back and waited for a few seconds, unable to hear any footsteps or shouts on the other side of the door thanks to the hail storm he and Vorona had been caught in. Shichi glanced worriedly at the weather in the sky, icy wind trying to buffet him to the side even as he stood on the mansion’s porch waiting for a response. He hoped the response he got was positive. This storm was nasty, and it looked like it was getting nastier by the second.

A few more seconds passed with nothing happening and Shichi knocked again, muttering to himself as Vorona shifted on his back, the two of them standing out in the cold and praying for the door to open.

At first, nothing happened, just like before. And then, right as Shichi was about to turn around and take his chances with the storm, the giant door creaked open, revealing a tall black man standing in the doorway.

And when Shichi said tall…he also meant utterly monstrous. The guy was massive! He had to be at least two meters (six feet) tall, and half as wide, with muscle filling out every space in between. His hair looked oddly blonde and it was shaved close to his head, just a small light layer of fuzz on top of the deep black skin that looked so out of place in the icy, wintery world of Russia. His hands were massive, probably as large as the plates Shichi normally ate off of, and while his smile was friendly enough, there was a certain sharpness in his eyes that told Shichi this terrifyingly huge man was not to be messed with.

The man looked down at Shichi first, seeming a little confused as to why he was there, but when his gaze shifted to the tiny girl that Shichi was carrying, recognition and worry filled his gaze.

_“Ворона! где вы были?/ Vorona! Gde vy byli?”_ The man cried, reaching out for the tiny girl on Shichi’s back and plucked her gingerly from him.

Vorona didn’t seem too happy to see the large black man, although she did pat his cheek in recognition as if verifying that it really was her and that she did know who he was even if she wasn’t talking to him.

That was apparently good enough for the black man however, and he continued to do all the talking for the pair, asking the little girl questions in rapid-fire Russian, fiddling parentally with her hair and looking very worried about her welfare in general. Vorona just lay like a life-size doll in the man’s arms, not saying a word, simply letting the man fuss over her without doing anything to calm him down.

She looked over at Shichi at some point, who was just standing there awkwardly on the front porch, and she held out her arms to him as the black man continued to chatter about her in worry.

“Shichi.” She said flatly, arms outstretched towards him as far as they could go. _“хотеть/khotet'_ Shichi.”

Shichi had no idea what Vorona had just said about him, but it made the black man pause, looking down at Shichi with an unreadable expression.

Shichi backed up nervously from the intense gaze being sent straight into his soul, wondering if now would be a good time to start running as the huge man looked him up and down. The black man looked at Vorona again, then back at Shichi, back to Vorona, and then back at Shichi before a wide smile covered his huge face.

_“спасибо, что вернули Ворона домой/Spasibo, chto vernuli Vorona domoy.”_ The tall man said gratefully, holding out his hand towards Shichi with that same smile on his face.

Shichi eyed the massive black hand warily, wondering if this was some kind of set-up and if he was possibly about to get dragged down to a dungeon from which he would not escape…But the huge man had said “spasibo”, Shichi’s favorite word, and “Vorona” had been mixed in there as well. He had said something involving “thank you” and “Vorona” and was now holding out his hand to Shichi expectantly. Perhaps he was just thanking Shichi for bringing Vorona back home. That would make the most sense here.

Even scary black dudes liked having their kids safe and sound back home, Shichi supposed.

Slowly, Shichi took the man’s hand and shook it, nodding in respect as his means of saying “you’re welcome”, noticing how Vorona was currently beaming at him out of the corner of his eyes. What was she so happy about? Had Shichi passed some sort of test?

After Shichi and the black man stopped shaking hands, Vorona patted the black man’s cheek to grab his attention, pointing at Shichi and saying something in Russian.

The black man’s eyes widened and he turned to look at Shichi in shock, immediately cuing Shichi into the fact that Vorona had probably just told her giant father figure that Shichi was a foreigner who didn’t speak a lick of Russian. Shichi had no idea if Russians bore the “us vs. them” mentality of a country that didn’t like outsiders at all, but if they did, he did not want to experience that at the hands of this terrifyingly huge man.

Shichi spun around on his heel to bolt, but a huge hand clapped around his wrist, jolting him to a harsh stop before he could even make it anywhere. Great. Just great. Thanks Vorona for turning out to be a little traitor. Thanks universe for making him take that traitor home through a hail storm. It was wonderful ! Truly wonderful!

…

Shichi hated his life so much right now.

“Please no run. Do not be afraid.” A thickly accented voice spoke in English, halting Shichi’s internal ranting at the universe and causing him to turn his head around in shock.

The huge black man was smiling at him, holding onto his wrist in a manner that somehow seemed more comforting than threatening. And he appeared to be…speaking English?

“You…You speak English?” Shichi asked slowly, drudging up some more basic English grammar from the last few classes of it that he’d been taking in senior high school not too long ago.

The black man nodded, still smiling brightly and not quite letting go of Shichi’s wrist yet. “Speak English. Not so good, but speak.” The man admitted in his thick Russian accent. “Shichi’s English is very good. Sound much better.”

“Oh, uh…thanks.” Shichi said lamely, knowing full well that his own English was horribly accented as well, only with Japanese instead of Russian. They probably would both sound equally unintelligible in front of a native English speaker, no matter how good with accents that speaker was.

But you know what? Who even cared? Scary Black Man seemed to like Shichi, and for that, he was grateful.

“So my name is Shichi.” Shichi said slowly, knowing that the man already knew this from the lovely Vorona’s blabbermouth. “What’s your name?”

“Semyon Brezhnev.” The black man responded with a smile. “Shichi may call Semyon.”

Shichi nodded awkwardly, looking down at the way Semyon’s hand was still clamped tight around his wrist. “Um…Semyon…” He said slowly, pulling weakly against the large man’s grasp. “Could you…let go?”

Semyon looked down as if he was just now noticing that he was still holding onto Shichi and he released the boy with a laugh, patting him on the head like one would a small puppy. “Sorry Shi-chi!” The black man said cheerfully, stretching out Shichi’s name slightly in an almost playful manner. “Will not do again!”

He stepped out of the entryway, still holding onto Vorona, and gestured inside the house. “Please come! Storm bad today. Shichi earn place at fire.” The man declared in his thick accent, smiling brightly at Shichi as though they were the best of friends.

Shichi peered inside the giant mansion, noticing with not just a little apprehension that it was so dark he couldn’t really see beyond the doorway, and waved his hands with a nervous laugh, stepping away from the foreboding mansion. 

“Gee, thanks.” The boy said with the brightest grin he could manage, hoping his fear wasn’t showing as plainly as he thought it was. “But, um, I was really just looking for…a job?” He looked hopefully at Semyon and the huge man seemed to pause as though trying to remember what the word “job” was, glancing down at Vorona with a hum.

Vorona stared back up at Semyon and then a small smile crossed her face. “Papa.” She said simply, nodding her head at Semyon.

Semyon looked shocked at first by Vorona’s apparent “suggestion” and then another one of those broad smiles cut across his face as he looked back at Shichi with sparkling eyes. “Shichi can have job!” Semyon said happily. “Talk to Vorona’s Papa! He over that way. In bathhouse.”

Semyon pointed off at a building not too far away from the mansion actually, and if Shichi ran, he might make it there without too many bruises from falling hail.

He glanced back at Semyon and Vorona, a little confused by the happy smiles they were both shooting him, like they’d just given him winning tickets to the lottery or something, as they waved for him to go on.

“Go Papa.” Vorona said, nodding encouragingly at Shichi with a bright smile on her face. “Say hi.”

“Talk with Vorona’s Papa.” Semyon repeated, gesturing again in the direction of this supposed bathhouse. “He will give Shichi job if Shichi truly want one. Ask for the Dragon.”

Shichi blinked at that, more than a little concerned with how freaking shady that sounded, but Semyon was smiling so happily at him…how could any of this actually be illegal? Maybe Dragon was just a secret nickname that this family used for Vorona’s father. Yeah, that was it. There probably wasn’t anything special or illegal behind it at all.

Or at least, that was what Shichi told himself.

He bowed briefly to Semyon and Vorona, taking a deep breath before bolting out into the thundering hailstorm and running as fast as he could for the bathhouse that Semyon had directed him to. The insistent wind froze his body to an even colder temperature than what it was at before and the hail just pounded his skin into oblivion in the large chunks it was now falling in, like it was trying to drive him away from his destination in the distance.

Shichi kept pushing against the weather, refusing to let the universe screw this up for him again, and determined to see if he could get this supposed job from the Dragon. If he could, then that would take a massive load off his shoulders for his stay here in Russia. A solid source of income, rather than just the meager rubles he had exchanged his equally meager yen for at the airport would be much preferable to live on. No matter how sketchy sounding the job was. If it involved a nice man like Semyon and a sweet albeit weird girl like Vorona, it couldn’t be too horrible.

The closer he made it to the bathhouse, the more the hail storm seemed determined to keep him away from it, wind buffeting right in his face and hail slamming into the front of his body as if desperate to turn him the other way.

By the time he was close enough to the bathhouse to be nearly within arm’s reach, he was practically being forced backwards through the snow by the wind, and the hail was probably creating more bruises on his face and limbs than he’d ever gotten from any fight with his older brothers back home.

But when Shichi looked up and saw the bathhouse, right there and so close he could practically touch it, he absolutely refused to be cowed down by some stupid weather given to him by the same crappy universe that always tried to mess up his life.

With a mighty yell, Shichi threw himself through the wind, forcing his body past the hail, and slammed into the side of the bathhouse at full force, eyes squeezed tightly shut while he threw all his remaining energy and strength at the bathhouse wall.

If Shichi had known how unstable the bathhouse was, he never would’ve done that. He would’ve looked for some kind of door or entryway that would be safe to enter and didn’t mess with the structure of the building. He would have knocked first before making a dignified entrance into the presence of a man known as the Dragon who he was depending on for a life-saving job. He would have seemed calm, cool, collected and in control, despite his wind-flushed skin and the bruises that littered his entire body from the hail raging outside. Everything would have been perfectly fine.

Except Shichi hadn’t known how unstable the bathhouse was. He hadn’t known that it was estimated to be at least a century old and hadn’t really been updated or managed by anyone to keep it up to modern standards. He hadn’t known that it was a simple bathhouse, designed with thin wooden walls that were well-insulated to keep the cold out, but not really built to withstand full-body blows from desperate teenage boys. He hadn’t known that the slightest amount of force was likely to make at least one wall in the building tip over, if not more. And he certainly hadn’t known that the exact place where he had chosen to make his valiant leap of faith and slam into the bathhouse wall was currently under attack by termites and was thus exceptionally weak and flimsy.

In short, Shichi hadn’t known that when he hurled himself at the bathhouse wall in defiance to the weather and the universe, he would end up crashing straight through the bathhouse wall itself, leaving a Shichi-shaped hole where he had entered and falling straight down with a horrified yelp into the steaming bathwater below, interrupting a rather important meeting that the occupants of the bathhouse were having with a huge splash.

And of all these horrible things that Shichi hadn’t known would happen, the worst one of all was that he would end up splashing into the water and ruining the entire meeting, but not falling into the water entirely because he would land right on the naked lap of one very, very, very amused Russian man named Kazimir.

***

_“Okay, so I’m going to call it quits there for the night.”_ Shichi yawned on the other side, and the choked look of horror on Izaya’s face said it all.

“Y-Y-Y-You can’t end it there!!” The raven screeched, jumping to his feet and screaming as loud as he could into the phone. “That’s even worse than that other cliffhanger which I hated you for! This is the worst cliffhanger yet! You can’t do this to me!”

_“Sorry, but I can and I will.”_ Shichi said cheerfully on the other end. _“I’m tired. I’ve already talked a little longer than I normally would and the twins are pestering me for a quick bedtime story. Oh, and they say they love you.”_

“I love them too, but that’s not the point here!” Izaya yelled into the phone, glaring at it with murder in his ruby eyes. “Don’t leave me on this cliffhanger, Shichi! I will ruin your life! I will tell everyone at school about your old job! I’ll steal Fluffles again!”

_“Goodnight, Izaya.”_ Shichi said in amusement on the other side of the phone, clearly not in the least bit worried about the threats from his son coming true. _“Love you. Keep doing well in school.”_

He hung up before Izaya could get another word in, and the raven stared at the phone in his hand for a few seconds before flinging it as hard as he could at his dorm room door.  
Unfortunately, he happened to fling it right as Shizuo was coming in.

“Hey Izaya.” The blonde said tiredly as he turned around to face the room. “I’m ba-ouch! What the hell was that for?!” Shizuo grabbed the phone and held it out menacingly towards Izaya, golden eyes flaring with rage as his small boyfriend ran up to him with frantic apologies, explaining what had happened and why exactly he’d felt the need for good old fashioned throwing-things therapy.

To his credit, Shizuo listened to the entire story before smacking Izaya upside the head.

Then he went over and grabbed his phone from where it was perched on the couch like a set camera, directing the still-recording device at his tired face and offering it an even more tired smile.

“Well, I hope you all enjoyed this episode of “Shichi’s Adventures in Russia”, even if I wasn’t here to hear anything about it.” The blonde said to his imagined audience, trying his best not to yawn as another wave of exhaustion came over him. “Uh…we’ll see you next time with episode four.”

He looked over at Izaya with a frown. “What are we calling episode four again?” He asked, brow furrowed in confusion.

Izaya crawled over to him and kissed the tall boy briefly on the cheek before looking at the camera himself with an only slightly strained smile. “Episode Four: The Bear, the Dragon, and the Lynx.” He said tightly, clearly still upset over the cliffhanger. “We’ll see you there. Unless you’re planning on killing yourselves like I am because of how upset you are over this STUPID CLIFFHANGER!”

Shizuo stared at his boyfriend for a few seconds, incredibly confused as to why he was so upset, and then sighed, looking back at the camera with a tired smile. “Right. Well, I’m going to figure out what happened to make Izaya so upset and we’ll see you next week. Bye.” He said simply, reaching out and shutting the camera off.

“Nothing will make this better.” Izaya huffed dramatically, throwing himself on the floor. “Nothing at all.”

“I brought you some ootoro sushi from Russia Sushi. Your favorite.” Shizuo called as he set a small bag down on their small table in the “kitchen” area.

Izaya paused from his place on the floor, considering it for a few moments. “As much as I don’t want to hear anything about Russia right now,” He began, sitting up from the floor and looking longingly at the bag Shizuo had brought. “I could never say no to my beloved fatty tuna.”

Shizuo smirked as his boyfriend came running up to hog all the sushi, kissing him on top of the head as he did so. “I love you.”

“You say that way too much, Shizu-chan.”

“Only because it’s true.”

“Meh. Just let me eat my fatty tuna and drown away my sorrows.”

“Ha ha. Okay then.”

****Small Note: The first thing Semyon (Simon) said in Russian was "Vorona! Where have you been?". The thing Vorona said when she was reaching out for Shichi was "Shichi. Want Shichi." And the final piece of Russian spoken by Semyon was "Thank you for bringing Vorona home." Couldn't find a good place to translate them in the story so here they are!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly can't wait to write the next chapter, guys. It's gonna be so great! o(≧∇≦o) Kazimir and Shichi are meeting for the first time! It happened pretty quick into Shichi's time in Russia, huh? But their friendship didn't form for a while after that so don't start setting sail to the Kazichi ship just yet! Can't wait to show you all what happens next! So exiiiiited!!! <3
> 
> Oh also, I kept the weirdest moment my sleep-deprived brain had while typing the story and it was actually the "Shark Tales" example I was talking about earlier. It was right after Vorona points to their final destination and says "There" all dramatically. The sentence that came right after that read exactly as follows:
> 
> "When Shichi stared at what she was looking at, he saw some kind of old starfish, living in the muck, cleaning the slime the way"
> 
> ...Yeah, I never finished the sentence because I snapped back awake and had a brief moment of confusion as to when I started talking about starfish, muck, and slime in Russia. All I can assume is that I was thinking about Oscar working in the whale wash. Where the old starfish came in...I have no idea.
> 
> Right, that was just me getting the last of my sleep-deprived problems out there so thank you for reading about my half-asleep "Shark Tales" interpretation if you did and thank you very much for reading the chapter! See you next Friday! <3


	5. The Bear, the Dragon, and the Lynx (Медведь, Дракон и Рысь)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Guess what? I actually got some sleep this time!! Isn't that exciting? I managed to get a good night's sleep for once! Which feels pretty great! Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy the long-awaited bathhouse scene! And I've been thinking about something which I'll tell you about in the later comments. Anywho, see you at the end of the chapter! <3

“So everyone was pretty upset about the cliffhanger last time-” Shizuo began to say.

“Which was a completely justified reaction!” Izaya cut in, shoving his head next to Shizuo’s and glaring hard at the camera. “No matter what my stupid protozoan says, it was completely justified to want to throttle Shichi into hell and then drown him in the lava river around Satan’s palace after the last cliffhanger!”

Shizuo shoved his overly dramatic boyfriend out of the way with a roll of his eyes, turning his attention on the camera once more. “Right…so matters of punishment for Shichi aside, I think we all agree that we would like to get the answer to that cliffhanger now before we kill him.”

“And then after we have our answer,” Izaya interrupted again, jumping flat in front of Shizuo and grabbing the camera away this time, despite protests from his boyfriend. His red eyes locked right on the lenses and he said very seriously, “Then we make his life a living hell. And send him to actual hell right afterwards.”

“Oh, give it a rest, Izaya!” Shizuo sighed, snatching the camera back and holding it high above his head so Izaya couldn’t jump for it.

“Hey! I was using that to begin spreading the seeds of my rebellion and chaos!” Izaya protested, glaring firmly at the blonde and looking like he was getting ready to hurl a knife at any second.

“You don’t need to spread any seeds of…whatever that just was.” Shizuo growled, waving his hand dismissively in the air as he glared right back at his boyfriend. “What we need is proper closure. So let’s get this show on the road and call up your crazy, cold-hearted, surprisingly misfortunate adoptive father. Okay?”

Izaya grumbled for a little bit, his red eyes flashing with intelligence and anger that alerted Shizuo to the fact that he was probably planning something silently in his head even as he backed down from the camera in real life.

“Fine.” The raven eventually sighed, holding out his hand for the camera expectantly. “But can I just say one last thing?”

Shizuo thought about it for a little bit, wondering if Izaya was going to do something involving whatever secret plan he’d just invented, but realized that even if that was exactly what Izaya was going to do, Shizuo had absolutely no power to stop him until it came down to some kind of physical battle. Begrudgingly, he handed the camera over with a short nod. “But make it quick.” He added as Izaya eagerly snatched the small device up and grinned triumphantly into its lenses. “That’s still my phone, after all.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know.” Izaya said flippantly, clearing his throat as he grinned at the camera. “Just one more thing that I need to say to all you lovely viewers who are in on my rebellion: the code for when we strike is “red apples”. Got it? “Red apples”.”

“Izaya!” Shizuo snapped, yanking the phone away and glaring at the unrepentant raven. “You can’t just make your favorite kind of fruit the code word for a murder plot!”

“Fine. Then we’ll call it Operation Fluffles and the code word will be “perfect pet”.” Izaya smiled sweetly, pulling out his phone like the matter was settled and dialing Shichi up right away.

Shizuo stared at him for a bit and then sighed, holding up his own phone to catch them both in the frame. “I can’t stop his plots until they’re already hatching. It’s useless to try.” The blonde grumbled, looking right at the camera lens.

“Well anyway, I hope you all are ready for today’s episode of “Shichi’s Adventures in Russia. It’s Episode Four: The Bear, the Dragon, and the Lynx.”

“Dad! Heeeeey! What’s up?” Izaya said cheerfully on the phone. “Yes, I definitely hate you. Nope. Haven’t forgotten the cliffhanger. Don’t worry: my revenge is on hold. Yeah, until you answer this question: WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED AFTER YOU CRASHED ON TOP OF KAZIMIR?!”

***

At first, Shichi wasn’t fully aware that the man beneath him was naked. If he was being perfectly honest, he was actually quite comfortable, and he hadn’t even realized that he had landed on top of someone. All Shichi knew for sure was that the world had gone from being extremely cold to deliciously warm, with steam curling in the air all around him, warm water seeping into his tired bones, and a general feeling of exhaustion overtaking his stressed, jet-lag dogged being that hadn’t slept in over 35 hours.

With the feeling of water surrounding him, and the steam rising gently to caress the sides of his face, Shichi could actually feel his eyelids beginning to droop in relaxation despite the fact that he’d just crashed unexpectedly through a wall and fallen several meters into a steaming pool of water below. Yep, despite everything that had just happened, Shichi was actually about five seconds away from falling asleep right where he had fallen. There was something soft and smooth beneath him, radiating a certain heat of its own, and Shichi could easily curl up against it like a lizard, and just pass out.

He leaned into it unconsciously, eyelids practically closed as his head hit the smooth, warm surface, slumping against it heavily.

Yeah…this was nice…so nice…warm and soft…relaxing, too…just…nice…

Another warm, soft object gently touched his now-soaking wet back, rubbing small circles on it and further spreading a feeling of calm throughout Shichi’s entire, more-than-likely-dying-of-cancer-considering-how-much-the-universe-hated-him body.

Shichi let out a small sigh, relaxing against all the comforting warmth around him, and just waited for the other shoe to drop. Where was the downside here and when was it going to bite him in the ass? That was really all he had left to wait on now.

And sure enough, Shichi’s calm was interrupted by a deep Russian voice talking from somewhere across from him.

The voice was completely in Russian, so not one bit of it Shichi could understand, and it sounded pretty angry.

Shichi’s icy blue eyes snapped open, and he looked over hurriedly through the wonderful steam curling all around him at a rather stunned man whose shock was quickly being replaced by anger as he glared at Shichi.

He repeated his statement rather roughly, jabbing a finger at Shichi with a growl, and Shichi couldn’t help but notice the massive scar running up and down the side of his face, nearly going right over his eye.

Yeah…Shichi didn’t want to get anywhere near that. He leaned away from the man, looking around the room and trying to get an exact sense of just what kind of relaxing shithole he’d fallen into this time.

He saw several men ringing a large pool of steaming water, all tattooed or scarred in one way or another, all looking very Russian with their icy hair and eyes, and all glaring very harshly at him like they were about to surge him and commit murder at any moment.

“Uh…” Shichi said dumbly, praying Semyon had not just sent him into a death trap. “Wassup? How are you all doing today?”

He tried English, since that was most likely their common language, and every man in the room froze, gawking right at him in disbelief.

“You are…foreigner?” One man asked carefully from across the pool, his deep-set eyes serious and his mouth arranged into what seemed like a perpetual frown. For some reason, he almost reminded Shichi of Vorona. Maybe this could be her father? But now was not the time to ask.

“Yes.” Shichi answered, nodding his head at the serious man. “I am a foreigner. I just moved here.”

Wow. That made him sound almost legal.

The men all looked at each other, then back at Shichi in utter confusion and shock. “Why are you here, foreigner?” A different one asked, this one decorated in wolf tattoos from head to toe, including one that curling over his face and looked like it was trying to eat his eye. Charming.

“Semyon sent me here.” Shichi explained lamely, noticing with a little confusion that his warm perch felt like it was shifting beneath him. Weird. Did pool floors normally move? Shichi didn’t think so. But he was too busy with the conversation to take too much heed of his moving perch at the moment. “He said to ask about the Dragon for a job.”

“Job?” The serious man spoke up once again, dragging Shichi’s attention back to him. The man was watching Shichi carefully. “You came to me…for a job?” He asked.

Oh. So this guy was the Dragon. Well, now it made sense why he reminded Shichi of Vorona…even if this man looked nothing like his adorably manipulative daughter.

“Yes.” Shichi said awkwardly, scratching the back of his head. “I mean…I think so? I told Semyon I was looking for a job when I brought Vorona back and he said to come here.”

“You brought Vorona back?!” The man actually stood up at that, looking at Shichi urgently. “You found her? Where was she? Is she okay?”

Now Shichi would’ve loved to answer those questions, except for the fact that when the man stood up…Shichi was treated to the wonderful knowledge that he was stark naked.

“Holy shit!” Shichi yelped, shutting his eyes and whipping his head the other way instantly. “Wow! Um, dude could you…uh…c-cover up or something? I’m a teenager. Don't need to see that.”

“Aww, he’s all bashful and modest!” A happy, heavily accented Russian voice said, the deep rumbling of it actually reverberating through Shichi’s body and coming from a source that was…unnervingly close.

Shichi could feel the gentle warm thing on his back suddenly turn into what felt like an entire arm, squeezing him up close against the warm surface he’d been leaning on.

“I love him! He is so adorable!” The same voice laughed, and this time, it actually rumbled right against Shichi. His icy blue eyes snapped open and he stared at the warm surface he was pressed against in shock. It was tan in color...and smooth like skin…and when Shichi’s eyes slowly slid up the smooth surface, he saw two perched points, different in color from the skin around them, that were undeniably…nipples. Dark tan nipples, placed right on top of thick, pectoral muscles. When he looked back down at the rest of the tan being, he could plainly see powerful abdominal muscles, adorned by several ornate tattoos of lynxes, padding over the surface of the skin. This warm perch of his…was the well-muscled and quite exposed body of a complete stranger.

“Even holier shit!” Shichi practically screamed, wriggling his way out of the strong arm that had encircled him, and falling backwards into the bath with a massive splash.

This time Shichi went fully into the water, crashing onto his back and sinking into the bathwater below him. Unfortunately though, he hadn’t pushed hard enough to get entirely away from the strange man. He landed on the shallow floor of the bath with a jarring thud, two thick barriers on either side of him…that he quickly realized were legs.

Shichi looked at the legs on either side of his head in horror, and then forward at where his own legs were, straddling either side of the man’s torso under the water. Even worse than this position was that he could plainly see the man’s crotch with his own two eyes, almost perfectly aligned up against Shichi's butt, and he could tell…this guy was completely naked as well. Shichi almost choked underwater as he gawked at the size of...the size of...well, size of the man’s package!

I-I-It was massive! Shichi had never seen one so big on anyone! Granted, he didn’t exactly go around looking at men’s private parts but still! He was pretty damn sure that this guy was a little more blessed than your average man. And his grand blessing was aimed right at Shichi’s ass.

Okay, one that would never fit and two, that was so not going to happen!

Shichi splashed up out of the water as quickly as he could, kicking himself away from the man as he spluttered and coughed like a dying animal. He scooted back in the bath, falling and splashing into the water a few times before coming back up again and trying to fulfill his goal of getting away from the naked man as quickly as possible.

Eventually, he reached about the halfway point into the bath and deemed that distance safe enough, breathing heavily as he rubbed the water out of his eyes and looked over nervously at the strange man he’d landed on.

The man was laughing at Shichi’s frantic escape, blue eyes twinkling in a far-too attractive face, sculpted and defined like that of a model’s. His hair was more golden than the icy hair of the others around him, at least through the steam of the bathhouse, and as he reclined comfortably against the edge of the pool, Shichi could see his massive and broad shoulders, just as strong as every other inch of him, and the way he towered out of the water like a powerful god. He was probably tall, broad, handsome, greatly over-sized in the lower department, and he had a great laugh which paired itself with eyes that sparkled like diamonds.

Damn, the guy was hot. But there was no way in hell Shichi was ever getting near him again. Not after that embarrassing moment of his self esteem’s total destruction.

The man saw Shichi looking at him and grinned, winking flirtatiously at Shichi as he waved. “Hey, cutie!” He called cheerfully. “Looking good!”

Shichi’s face turned bright red and his head snapped back over to the Dragon guy instantly, the teenager internally resolving not to look the lynx-tattooed man in the eyes again.

“S-So…about Vorona.” He managed to get out, trying to remember exactly what the Dragon’s questions had been. “Yes, I brought Vorona back. Yes, I found her. She was in the airport McDonald’s. And she’s just fine.”

The serious man (still standing up without trying to cover up at all) nodded slowly at Shichi’s answers, thinking hard about them. “Well…thank you for bringing her back to me.” He finally said, his face still flat and serious, but his eyes grateful.

Shichi nodded in response. “Don’t, uh, don’t mention it.” He said, icy eyes flicking over the rest of the men in the room. He noticed with great discomfort that all of them appeared to be naked as well, each one recovered from their shock but now staring at him as if trying to figure out what to do with him.

“What sort of job do you seek, foreigner?” One of them asked, squinting at him suspiciously.

“Just any job really.” Shichi admitted, staring down at his own soaked clothes in lieu of the naked people all around him. “I only need some method of support for myself.”

Vorona’s father hummed thoughtfully, looking around at his colleagues silently. “Do we even have a job for someone so inexperienced?” One man grumbled, crossing his arms and shaking his head. “I doubt it. He seems to have no relations to our way of life at all.”

Way of life? Just what was so shady about this bathhouse? What exactly had Semyon and Vorona gotten him into?

Shichi glanced at the Shichi-hole he’d left in the wall, wondering if he should attempt to climb up to it and escape as fast as he could.

“Nevertheless, he was able to save Vorona and get her home.” The Dragon muttered, stroking his chin. “I am obliged to this youth. We should at least give him something small.”

“He could be my assistant!” The lynx man suggested happily. “I would be more than glad to have someone help me file paperwork for all the stunts you pull.”

“You’re been our lawyer for three years now. You should be able to file your own paperwork just fine.” One of the men snorted, rolling his eyes at the lynx man. “Don’t start moving in on the fresh meat just because you’ve got a hard-on.”

“I do not have a hard-on!” The lynx man protested, his voice still strangely cheerfully. “I’ve got a developing interest. It could lead to a hard-on but it’s not quite there yet.”

Okay…definitely not going near that guy ever again.

“Kazimir, you are aware of our country’s policies on homosexuality.” The Dragon sighed, shaking his head disapprovingly at the lynx man. “It may not be outright illegal, but it is highly discouraged to the point of torture and death from those around you. I honestly don’t know why we put up with you so much.”

“Because I flirt with everyone.” Kazimir (that must be the lynx guy’s name) said easily, not even fazed by the mentions of death and torture. “Girls, boys. It doesn’t matter to me. If I see a cute person, I’ll go after them.”

“Let’s get one thing straight, buddy.” Shichi said, finally looking over at Kazimir and shooting the grinning man the iciest glare he could manage. He pointed at himself, blue eyes flashing as they locked with Kazimir’s twinkling ones. “I am not cute. I am not going to be some random guy you can pick up and start flirting with. I am a teenager, you are an adult. There will be no relationship between us, there never will be, and if you attempt to start one, I will kick your ass from here to the moon.” Shichi crossed his arms and increased the strength of his glare. “Now did you understand all that English, amoeba-brain?” He asked haughtily. “Or do I need to dumb it down for you?” 

Everything was silent for a while in the bathhouse, and then everyone burst out laughing.

_“О мой Бог, Казимир/O moy Bog, Kazimir!”_ One of them snickered, grinning widely at Kazimir. _“жечь/zhech'!”_

_“Заткнись/Zatknis'!”_ Kazimir yelled at the guy from across the pool, but his grin hadn’t gone down a single notch.

Shichi looked around the bathhouse, wondering why everyone was laughing so hard at what he’d said. Did they all find the act of talking down to Kazimir hilarious? Did they think it was funny that the guy was being rejected?

What a strange group of people.

“So do I get a job or not?” Shichi called loudly over the laughter in the room, looking right at Vorona’s father. “Because if not, I should really leave and start looking for one.”

“Hold on! Hold on, foreigner!” The Dragon snickered, wiping a small tear away from his eye as his usual mask of seriousness reasserted itself. “You shall have job. Wait a moment longer. Wait for our laughter to subside.”

“Okay.” Shichi grumbled, crossing his arms and huffing impatiently. He glared at Kazimir across the pool, trying to figure out why that idiot was laughing alongside the others.

Kazimir was now grinning right at Shichi again, whole being sparkling with delight as though he was more excited than he’d been in years to meet someone who was willing to reject him. You know, considering how damn sexy the guy was, he probably _was_ excited.

But Shichi couldn’t focus on that now! He had no time to be going gaga over some hunk of muscle with no brain! For one thing, Shichi wasn’t even gay and for another, the guy was just a plain idiot. A lawyer? Ha! As if this maniacal pervert could be a lawyer.

Shichi glared at Kazimir and Kazimir grinned jovially back at him, the rest of the room still filled with the Russians’ laughter.

Eventually, it all died down enough to where Vorona’s father was able to shout something in Russian to the room, waving his hands in the air and quieting everyone down.

Once the group of terrifying, tattooed men were all settled in the bathtub, far more relaxed about Shichi’s presence now than they were before, the Dragon turned his attention on Shichi.

“You will have job.” He repeated, face serious once again and looking at him with grave blue eyes. “After two week trial period.”

Shichi’s eyebrow raised at that. “Two week trial period?” He repeated. “Why the hell do I need that?”

“We must decide if you truly can handle the dangers of our occupations.” One of the other men cut in, looking Shichi’s teenage form up and down with no small amount of doubt. “Or if Semyon was wrong.”

“Semyon is rarely wrong about these things.” A different man said gruffly, glaring at the other. “He has keen instincts for all things.”

“We know you think that, Dennis.” The Dragon said calmingly, nodding in respect to the man. “And most times, we shall agree with you. But we must be sure of this foreigner’s ability to handle what we do.”

He looked back at Shichi, blue eyes firm and decided. “Since you came to me for a position, I shall decide on what it will be.” He announced. “I am a mere weapons dealer, no true fighter myself, but I can get you into the mafia if you choose.”

Shichi froze at that, staring at the Dragon in utter shock. His world felt like it had just come crashing to a stop. Everything was silent even as the Dragon kept talking, and Shichi could only replay those words in his mind over and over.

The mafia.

The mafia.

The…the freaking mafia?!

What had Semyon and Vorona done to him?!

Shichi looked around the bathhouse in shock, suddenly feeling realization hit him as everything odd about the appearances of the men around him were suddenly explained. The tattoos of animals and power symbols adorning their bodies. The various scars and battle injuries. The hardened attitudes they displayed. The muscled forms that spoke to years of combat. The fact that they wanted to test him to see if he was suitable for them.

He had just been…thrown into the mafia.

And he’d signed himself up with open arms.

“W-Wait!”’ Shichi tried to call desperately, not sure exactly how to say he’d been tricked into becoming a criminal by a two-year old and a smiling black man, but all the mafia members were now standing up, apparently having concluded the business they needed to for the night.

They began giving one another parting remarks in Russian, drying themselves off and getting their clothes on before leaving one by one in intervals so as not to draw attention to the bathhouse. They completely ignored Shichi’s weak protests as they left, only nodding in approval at him when they passed him. He looked over at the Dragon helplessly, thinking maybe convincing that man was his only way out of this, but the guy was deep in conversation with some other mafia members and didn’t even notice him.

One by one, the members left, with Shichi standing helplessly in the bath trying to think of how to save the rapidly crumbling pieces of his hellhole called a life, until only the Dragon, Kazimir, and Shichi were left in the bathhouse.

All seemed so silent with most of the men gone, and Shichi looked nervously over at the men as they watched him carefully, Kazimir with a grin and the Dragon with a grave expression. So…both of their normal faces. That didn’t tell him anything at all.

“Look,” Shichi tried again, climbing out of the pool and grabbing one of the few towels left over to dry himself as he walked over to the (thankfully now-clothed) mafia members. “I, uh, I didn’t really sign up for this.”

The Dragon held up a hand to stop him before he could continue, grave eyes still fixed on him. “I understand.” He said in thick Russian. “You think you need no trial. But you must learn our ways and you must learn Russian if you are to join mafia successfully.”

“I’m not trying to-” Shichi started to say, but the Dragon cut him off once more. “I know you mean no harm by your words.” The Russian man said smoothly, checking his watch as if to see if it was close to the time where he would leave. “And I take no offense. But you must learn.”

“That’s great and all,” Shichi said in exasperation, standing right beside the Dragon and Kazimir and looking up at the serious one desperately. “But I swear that I didn’t mean to join your…uh…your group!”

The Dragon raised an eyebrow, piercing eyes seeming like they were cutting right into Shichi. “You were looking for another branch?” He asked suspiciously, and Shichi could feel his blood run cold in his veins. Colder than the icy weather outside. Colder than his body would be on the frozen ground after this man was done with him.

“N-No sir!” Shichi said frantically, waving his hands in the air and stepping away from the dark glare the man was giving him as panic rocketed through his chest. “I-I-I-I didn’t mean it like that!”

“Oh didn’t you?” The man asked darkly, reaching inside his jacket pocket for something that Shichi never wanted to see. “I could have sworn you did.”

“I didn’t!” Shichi insisted in a panic, sweat rolling down his forehead. “I-I’m totally loyal to your branch! Definitely meant to join it! W-What I meant was that, um, I wasn’t looking to…join weapons dealing!”

This guy had said he was just a weapons dealer earlier. Maybe that could get him out of the situation he was in.

“Oh?” The Dragon removed his hand from his suit, but his eyes were still wary as they looked Shichi up and down. “Are you sure that is it?”

“Yes! Yes, one hundred percent sure.” Shichi nodded quickly, shooting the man a nervous smile that he hoped came off more convincing than he thought it did. “I assumed I would just be put right into the, um, m-mafia. I didn’t want to deal weapons.”

“Well then, you’re in luck!” Kazimir said cheerfully from beside the Dragon, pulling Shichi’s attention over to him instantly.

The lynx man was indeed tall, just like Shichi had thought, and his grinning face was easily towering at least half a meter above Shichi’s head. His shoulders were broad and his whole form was built out of thick muscle. A formal black suit now clothed the man’s body, with the top of a tattoo just peeking out over the collar. Yet, despite all these imposing aspects, the whole terrifying look of the guy was ruined by the large grin on his friendly face.

“And…why exactly am I so lucky?” Shichi asked slowly, bringing his eyes up to meet the twinkling orbs of the man above him.

Kazimir laughed, whole being seeming to radiate mischief as he leaned down towards Shichi and whispered, “Because a new assassin position just opened up and our lead killer is taking in some apprentices to see who can fill it.”

“A-Assassin?” Shichi squeaked, looking up at Kazimir in horror to see if the man was serious. Shichi was just a teenager! A normal, homegrown teenager from a country of pacifists! There was no way he could ever become an assassin! Never! Not in a million years!

Kazimir laughed again at Shichi’s reaction, going back up to his full, towering height as he smiled down at Shichi. “Relax. You don’t have to be an assassin. I was just messing with you.” He said brightly, ruffling Shichi’s hair.

Shichi growled and slapped his hand away, shooting the man a fierce glare. “Listen, pal, don’t treat me like a kid.” He ordered, pointing a threatening finger at Kazimir. “I’m seventeen years old, just in case you didn’t know. Nearly an adult here. Only one more year to go.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re almost an adult.” Kazimir said cheerfully, not even flinching from Shichi’s rough attitude. “Makes my conscious a lot clearer about my relationship goals with you.”

“Quit doing that!” Shichi yelled, hoping his face wasn’t flushing red.

“Doing what?” Kazimir asked innocently, although the look in his eyes was far from innocent.

“Flirting with me like that.” Shichi snapped, scooting away from Kazimir with a hiss. “It’s creepy and weird. You’re probably some old pedophilic man. No thank you. I want nothing to do with that.”

“I’m actually only twenty-one.” Kazimir smirked at Shichi, crossing his arms and looking down at the fuming teenager in amusement. “Just four years older than you.”

“That’s still almost half a decade of age difference. No. Thank. You.” Shichi said firmly, poking harshly at Kazimir’s chest and pushing him away each time he enunciated one of his words.

“Oh come on!” Kazimir whined, although Shichi could see the laughter hiding in that face as he watched Shichi shove him away. “Just a quick little kiss?”

“What?!” Shichi shrieked, gawking at Kazimir like he’d just asked Shichi to swallow an atomic bomb. “No! No, absolutely not!” The Japanese teen protested, shaking his head back and forth as fast as he could. “I refuse! I refuse! I refuse! I refuse! I refu-”

“We get it. You refuse.” The Dragon sighed, shaking his head at their antics and checking his watch once more. “It seems that it is time for me to go. You will come with me, foreigner. Your two week trial begins.”

Shichi gulped as he thought about what he’d just gotten himself into. But…if he tried to explain again, he might end up dead. And he didn’t have a job offer going anywhere else. Plus it didn’t sound like he was going to have to actually hurt anybody. Shichi would just have to cross his fingers and pray that everything he was going to be sent in to do was legal.

“You will be taking care of Vorona for two weeks while Semyon and Dennis are out of town.” The Dragon was calling over his shoulder, clearly expecting Shichi to just be following him as he grabbed the door to the bathhouse and swept out into the freezing hailstorm.

Shichi took one breath of preparation before plunging after him, trying to stay close enough to hear the man’s words as they trekked through ice, wind, and snow.

“Vorona will teach you basic Russian.” The Dragon was saying as they walked, icy eyes squinting to spot the house in front of them. “After you are done watching her, if you’ve done well and learned enough, I’ll send you to the actual mafia ranks.”

“Gee uh…thanks.” Shichi said lamely, trying his very best not to panic as they walked to the site of his future doom.

“If you ever get stressed, don’t worry!” Kazimir’s cheerful voice rang through the howling wind behind them, somehow cutting straight to Shichi’s ears through the storm even though the Dragon apparently didn’t hear anything and just kept trudging on. “Just come to me! I’ll be visiting often to go over some of Drakon’s paperwork.”

“Drakon?” Shichi muttered, glancing at the Dragon’s back as they walked along. Maybe this man’s name was Drakon…and maybe that was why they called him “Dragon”.

“Did you hear me, my sparkling lotus?” Kazimir sang into the wind after him. “You can always come to me for reassurance or aid or anything else you may need!”

“Shut your trap!” Shichi yelled back in response, stoutly marching after Drakon and refusing to look back at the grinning idiot. “And don’t you dare ever call me your sparkling lotus, or whatever horrid nickname you just used!”

For a while there was silence, and Shichi actually hoped that maybe the storm was too loud for him to hear Kazimir’s comeback. But then, very faintly and just barely audible to Shichi’s ears, he heard, “Alright then, my dazzling swan! See you tomorrow!”

By the time Shichi spun around to try and yell some kind of comeback, Kazimir was gone. He’d vanished into the storm, taking that stupid grin and those twinkling eyes with him.

Whatever. Who needed an idiot like that in their lives anyway?

Shichi continued to follow Drakon back to the house, glaring up at the sky and sending silent curses to the universe all the way. Because it had no officially screwed him over more than it ever had in the history of the cosmos, and that was saying something.

Because now, the universe had put him in the middle of the Russian mafia.

Right after he babysat the little brat who’d led him there.

Fantastic.

***

_“I feel like that’s a good stopping point for the night, don’t you?”_ Shichi asked cheerfully on the other side.

“You know that I don’t, but I also know that you won’t listen no matter what I say.” Izaya grumbled, rolling his eyes as his father‘s laugh rang through the speakers.

_“Very true, very true. Well, at least now you know how me and Kazimir met…and how I got sucked into the mafia. It gets worse during the trial period, especially with Vorona pulling all her crazy antics, Drakon testing me with every step I took in his house, Kazimir popping in on me while I was taking a shower that one time, and…oh! I can’t tell you about all that right now.”_

“Okay, now I’m even more upset!” Izaya screeched, jumping to his feet and glaring viciously at the phone. “What kind of antics? How did Drakon test you? And most importantly of all: WHAT IS THIS SHOWER SCENE?!”

_“Goodnight, my sparkling lotus. We love you.”_ Shichi said sweetly on the other end before the telltale sound of the call being ended started playing in Izaya’s ear.

“Ugh! Just when I thought I could live peacefully until next Friday!” Izaya moaned, dropping back onto the couch so his head was resting in Shizuo’s lap. “My father is the absolute worst person to ever exist on this planet. I bet you he threw in those cliffhangers on purpose. He’ll pay dearly for this. Operation Fluffles is a go.”

Shizuo chuckled as his raven-haired lover began stewing over new methods of revenge, stroking his smooth hair while he held his phone out in front of him.

“Izaya’s going to be lost in his plottings and musings for a while now, so we should probably sign off here.” He told the camera with a smile, finding great amusement in the whole situation in general. “We’ll see you next time on “Shichi’s Adventures in Russia” and we hoped you liked this week’s episode! Next one is Episode Five: The Lynx’s Bear Cub. This is Shizuo, signing off.”

“Izaya, contemplating murder.” Izaya sighed, simply waving a hand in the air as his way of saying goodbye.

Shizuo rolled his eyes and smiled at the camera again, hand still stroking Izaya’s head. “We’ll see you next time!”

He clicked the camera off and set it beside him, reclining comfortably on their couch. “I can’t wait to show this to Erika.” He said aloud. “She’ll have a field day drawing out that bathhouse scene.”

Izaya did muster up a smirk at that, and then a flash of inspiration hit his red eyes, causing him to bolt up on the couch and look at Shizuo in excitement.

“After those pictures are drawn, I’ll make several hundred copies of them and threaten to spread them everywhere as a way of blackmailing Shichi! That shall be his punishment!” The raven said gleefully, happiness spreading throughout his face at the thought of blackmailing his cruel, cliffhanger-loving father. “Oh! Or maybe I’ll just spread them right after I get them and punish him that way!” Izaya continued eagerly, jumping off the couch and punching his fists in the air in triumph.

“Just you wait, Dad!” He crowed. “I will get you back for this! Just you wait! Ahahahaha!”

As Izaya’s evil laughter careened around the small dorm room, Shizuo sighed and shook his head, already dreading the phone calls and complaints they would get from all their neighbors the following day.

Well, that was what he got for falling in love with an evil genius. Maniacal laughter, wicked schemes, and revenge.

Maybe he should go ahead and warn Shichi now before Izaya got ahold of those pictures. It was only fair to do since it wasn’t like anyone could stop Izaya anyways. Not when he was like this, cackling like an insane person in the living room, doubled over with glee as evil plans raced through his mind, everything coming together in those crazed blood-red eyes.

Shizuo loved him so much.

****Small Note: Okay, and just like last time, I couldn't find a good place to put in the Russian translations so here they are again. The guy who started laughing at Kazimir in the bathhouse said "Oh my God, Kazimir! Burn!" in regards to the way Shichi completely put Kazimir down. Right afterwards, Kazimir just told the guy to shut up. Alright, that's it for this time!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I hope you guys weren't disappointed with the bathhouse scene! I know it wasn't super steamy or anything, but this was just their first, exceptionally awkward meeting. They'll have some more later on that go a liiiittle differently. *Insert sly smile here*
> 
> In any case, I've started on a new Shizaya fanfic completely separate from the "Private Lessons" and Shichi universe, and I was wondering if I should post it. I was going to, but I'm about to start my first year of college, and I'm finally finishing up the last of my actual book before trying to start the publishing process, plus I've already got this story going. In general, I don't know if I would be able to handle that one alongside everything, or at least update as regularly. I might try updating every other Sunday, or just updating whenever I can if I end up doing that. What do you guys think? Would you be okay with that? If you're looking to read it of course, haha. If you don't really care, just ignore my incessant worries. 
> 
> Anyways! Hope you liked the chapter, and I will see you all next Friday! Love you all! Bye! <3


	6. The Lynx’s Bear Cub (Медвежонок медведя Рыси)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry about the late update again! My grandma's car broke down and I ended up having to drive her to a few places for groceries and whatnot. Plus, I sort of forgot it was Friday until this morning so...yeah! In any case, I didn't get the chance to edit this after it was finished so I hope it comes out okay, but let me know if you see anything wrong! 
> 
> Hope you enjoy the chapter! <3

Sick and tired. Those were the two words that best described Orihara Izaya at that moment in time. He’d started feeling it the Saturday after the last lovely phone call to his father, as just a small stomachache which he didn’t really pay much attention to, and maybe a slight urge to take one or two naps. But as the days had progressed, the feeling grew stronger.

Now, one week later, Izaya was throwing up constantly into the toilet, body and mind both exhausted from the struggle of pushing himself through all his exams until he could reach the weekend, and he’d just about given up on himself. His body was dying. It was failing him. Soon, there would be nothing left of Orihara Izaya. Nothing but a pile of barf and a tired, aching body that desperately needed a nap.

“Goodbye, cruel world.” Izaya moaned pitifully, sticking his head in the toilet bowl as he felt another wave of nausea hit him. “It was…not very nice knowing you.”

“Oh, don’t be so melodramatic.” Shizuo scolded as he came into the bathroom, bearing a fuzzy blanket and some ginger ale. He crouched down by the toilet next to his boyfriend, draping the blanket over him gently rubbing his back with one hand as he opened the can of ginger ale with the other.

“You’ll be just fine.” The blonde continued, watching poor Izaya wretch into the toilet. “It’s only a small stomach bug.”

“Small stomach bug?” Izaya repeated with a miserable groan, his pale face an almost sickly green shade. “I feel like a pregnant woman!”

“Well…just ignore that.” Shizuo finally said (after racking his brain for a good answer) nodding as he brought the can of ginger ale to Izaya’s lips. “Please just sip on this. I’ll bring you some salty crackers so you can get something down into that stomach.”

“B-But what about the…show?” Izaya managed to get out, face turning even greener before he had to spin around and begin retching again.

“I’ll take care of it myself this time, if you truly want to do it.” Shizuo said soothingly, slipping his phone out of his pocket and opening up the camera. “I’ll make sure the camera never points at you, and I’ll call your dad on the phone this time. Okay?”

Izaya thought about this for a minute, considering telling his boyfriend that there was no way in hell he was going to let Shizuo take over…but then his stomach rumbled horrendously and another feeling of coming bile rose up in Izaya.

He quickly turned to the toilet, letting it all out in that small porcelain bowl. Each retch was like another note of his resignation to the fact that he simply couldn’t do the show this time.

“F-Fine.” He managed to grunt out, waving a dismissive hand at Shizuo, trying to be as aloof as possible. “You may…do the show.”

Shizuo chuckled at his boyfriend, rubbing his back a few more times before opening the camera on his phone and setting up his shot.

“Hello everybody! Welcome to Episode Five of “Shichi’s Adventures in Russia”: The Lynx’s Bear Cub. Today, I’ll be your main host. Let’s all hope Izaya gets better soon so that he can join us next time.”

He slipped Izaya’s phone out of the retching boy’s pocket, speed dialing Shichi so the show could begin.

After just a few rings, the Russian man picked up, sounded quite disgruntled on the other side of the phone. _“Izaya, did you seriously have to put some snakes in my bed? How juvenile can you get? Snakes in the bed. That’s just messed up.”_

“Um…I’m Shizuo.” Shizuo said slowly, staring at the phone out of the corner of his eye.

There was a brief pause from Shichi’s end as the other man apparently tried to register the deeper tones of Shizuo’s voice, checking it against the much higher voice of his son in his mind.

_“Oh.”_ He finally said. _“Hey Shizuo. Where’s Izaya?”_

“Sick.” Shizuo responded shortly, glancing over at the miserable raven, head still hanging in the toilet just in case some more vomit decided to exit his body. “Like…really sick. But not fatal or anything! Just a rough stomach bug.”

_“Ah, those suck.”_ Shichi laughed on the other side of the phone, evidently taking great joy in the punishment his son was suffering in return for the snake prank. _“In any case, why did you call me? Shouldn’t you be taking care of Izaya?”_

“I am, but he wanted to hear the next part of the story.” Shizuo responded, rubbing Izaya’s back as he put Shichi on speaker. “So would you mind continuing? What happened after you started to work for Drakon?”

Shichi was silent for a little bit, and then eventually he heaved a great sigh. _“Alright. I’ll tell you.”_ He conceded, clearing his throat as he began to talk. _“Like I said, everything got much worse after I began working in Drakon’s house…”_

***

Drakon was a very busy man.

Shichi found this out pretty quickly after beginning work in the imposing man’s household. Drakon was always leaving on business meetings, trips, or inquiries that involved his weapons dealing for the mafia, and whenever he happened to be present in the house, he was usually working out details about those meetings, trips, or inquiries with whoever he’d met. He didn’t really have time for anything else.

Unfortunately, that included his young daughter.

When Shichi told Vorona that his main job would be to take care of her, the little girl had seemed thrilled. And once the tiny child had dragged Shichi to her bedroom to show him around, he could easily see why.

The two-year-old’s room was full of books. Nothing but books. Many were open, some were set in stacks, a few were scattered around the floor, there were a couple on her bed, and when Shichi peeked at some of her open dresser drawers, he could see books tucked in among the clothes. This child _lived_ in books. And as Vorona began to tell him about all the books she liked to read, Shichi realized that this girl had no friends. She had no friends. No social life. No family who ever paid attention to her. All she had were her books, day in and day out.

Yes, there were two other staff members in the house with her – that Semyon guy and another man named Denis who’d Shichi had seen in the bathhouse – but neither of them were particular good with children. They weren’t really playmates. They were more like her bodyguards and disciplinarians. Semyon was at least a little kind to the small girl, and sometimes playful, but he still didn’t know how to play actual games with her, and Denis didn’t even try.

Vorona was terribly alone. And that was something Shichi could relate to.

Shichi began his job with simply entertaining Vorona, getting a feel for what she liked and disliked, trying to make sure that the girl would be happy with him around. He certainly didn’t want her father thinking he had somehow screwed up and deciding to…punish him for that. But it ended up being both much easier and much harder than he’d thought it would be.

Vorona was easy to please: she just liked having people around her who would actually pay attention to her. But the things she was interested in were odd, small in number, and very difficult to talk about. So while she was happy to have company, she was always moving from one thing to the next, trying to find something that could hold her interest longer than a few seconds, while Shichi tried desperately to keep up.

Books were the only things that could hold her in place for very long. Whenever Shichi got tired of jumping from one game to the next, he would simply hand her a book and tell her to start reading. Bam. No more Vorona for at least an hour.

Which gave Shichi the time to tend to his other duties within the household. These were mainly cleaning and cooking for Vorona, but sometimes Semyon or Denis would give him a seemingly random task to do, like carrying this mysterious box over to this specific room, or grabbing that unmarked canister from the van outside that had just pulled up. He was fairly certain that most of the things Semyon and Denis had him do involved things that weren’t exactly legal, but as long as he didn’t ask questions or peek inside mysterious containers, he could keep a clear conscience.

He fell into a decently steady routine as a worker in Drakon’s house: wake Vorona up each morning, feed her and clothe her, play with her until running out of energy and giving her a book to read instead, clean up around the house, do some random chores, play with Vorona again, feed her again, convince her to take a bath, get her to bed, rinse and repeat. Throughout his time there, Vorona showed him some books that she’d used to learn Russian not too long ago (the youth of this child made Shichi feel old and like he hadn’t done anything with his life), which allowed the grateful teen to pick up some Russian here and there.

He was able to hold an _extremely_ basic conversation in Russian now, and he knew for a fact that his favorite word “Spasibo” did indeed mean “thank you”. He also knew that whenever Vorona called him “starshego brata”, she was calling him “big brother”. And as sweet as that was, the little girl’s incredible ability to run him ragged every day kinda took a toll on the amount of affection Shichi could spare for the creature. But any amount of affection was good enough for Vorona, as Shichi rapidly figured out, and he was easily Vorona’s favorite person in the entire world just because he looked at her every day.

This “peaceful” time in Drakon’s house would have been all perfect and dandy with the illegal immigrant, if not for one simple thing that infiltrated his daily life…constantly.

Kazimir.

Kazimir Borya Sokolov. The lawyer for the Russian mafia.

According to Shichi’s boss Drakon, Kazimir was an exceptionally talented young prodigy in the matters of law, with an eye for loopholes, details, and facts that outshone most professional lawyers who’d been studying for years on end. He’d memorized whole law books and despite his youth, he’d proven time and again to be a valuable asset to the mafia in court. Since he’d taken over as their lawyer, they’d never even had one of their members convicted of anything, from murder to jaywalking. Kazimir was a huge success.

His nickname within the mafia itself, it seemed, was Rys (meaning lynx) although all his friends and the higher-ups simply called him by name. Shichi was told that was because he was young, almost as young as Shichi, when they’d first met him, and it had taken a while for them to choose an animal name for him. By the time they picked one, Kazimir had already become famous under his own name. So Rys was really more of a code name for the man than an actual name.

Now as cool and unique as Kazimir was, Shichi was not inclined to spend any more time than necessary with the massive man (unlike his surprisingly large fan club within the mafia) for one simple reason: the guy wouldn’t leave him alone.

Every single day, Kazimir would show up at Drakon’s house under the pretense of discussing important legal matters with Drakon about the new weapons deals he was cutting, the possibilities of reaching out overseas, and so on and so forth. But Shichi knew that it was indeed just a pretense. The instant, the _instant_ , Kazimir got out of those “critical legal meetings” with Drakon, he would hunt Shichi down like a dog hunted a rabbit.

Once he found Shichi, who was often found trying to hide from the massive man, he would follow the grumpy teen like a loyal puppy, chattering happily about whatever came to his mind and flirting shamelessly all the while. Many times, the things that came out of Kazimir’s mouth were either perverted or horrendously sappy and cheesy, and Shichi would feel the urge to dig himself a hole to die in as he tried his best to ignore the guy.

He would play with Vorona, the energetic and highly intelligent little girl providing ample distraction from the snickering pervert behind him, but the minute he and Vorona were apart, Kazimir swooped in and attempted to make his moves on Shichi once more.

Right now was one of those times.

“You know, you really should consider wearing a uniform.” Kazimir called up absently, grinning at Shichi from the foot of the ladder as the teenager carefully dusted a large painting hung high on the wall. “It might help you feel like a true member of the household.”

“When I need the fashion advice of an old man,” Shichi growled back through gritted teeth, balancing precariously on the unstable ladder as he continued to dust. “I’ll ask for it!”

“I’m not old, you know.” Kazimir reminded him (another source of their constant banter). “I’m barely twenty-one! As I’ve said before.”

“Don’t care. As _I’ve_ said before.” Shichi called down, nodding once when he deemed the painting good and reaching up above his head to get the next one. “Now please go away, you sorry sack of blood and guts.”

“I am known as a “human”.” Kazimir sang cheerfully from below him, steadying the ladder for Shichi as it began to sway dangerously. “You might want to look up my species sometime. We do all kinds of interesting things.”

“Oh really? Like what?” Shichi asked tiredly, not even realizing what a trap he’d set for himself with that question as he tried to get the center of the high painting on the wall.

Kazimir grinned wickedly up at Shichi, already anticipating his reaction, and purred, “Like having sex and mating with more than one gender.”

Shichi completely lost his balance at the unexpected comment and started wobbling about violently at the top of the ladder, flapping his arms in the air to try and regain it as he swayed back and forth on the unsteady support. Kazimir happily stepped back from the ladder instead of supporting it with his hands, and watched eagerly as the young boy fell off the top of the ladder with a loud yelp. Shichi closed his eyes and braced for the impact of the ground as he fell swiftly towards it, cursing and blaming Kazimir for all his life problems on the way down. He was shocked when he landed on something quite soft instead.

It felt like some kind of cradle, holding his body securely in the bridal style position, and when Shichi slowly opened his eyes to see what he’d landed on, he saw the triumphant face of Kazimir, winking at him jauntily.

Shichi looked around frantically and saw that he’d fallen right into Kazimir’s arms (literally) and began pounding on the massive chest, trying to make his escape.

“Oh, you let go of me, you big ape!” Shichi yelled, not liking the way his cheeks flushed red with embarrassment at all. “I need to get back to work!”

“See, other animals do perform homosexual acts of intercourse.” Kazimir continued cheerfully, completely ignoring both Shichi’s demands and fists as he spoke. “Female Japanese macaques, for example, often mount each other and have sex with one another even if males are available nearby, simply because the females can give each other more pleasure with more positions.”

Shichi’s red cheeks flushed even brighter at this knowledge, especially considering he used to go up to the Monkey Park in Kyoto and feed those apparently lesbian monkeys when he was a small child. He did not need to be hearing this!

“Let go of me and shut up!” Shichi growled, punching the unyielding chest with even more fervor than before.

“But bonobo apes are even worse.” Kazimir said in delight, clearly having no intention of listening to poor Shichi. “They have sex all the time, and I mean all the time, both males and females alike. Like young bonobos will offer themselves for sex to senior bonobos in order to climb up the social ladder, males will rub their private areas together to reduce tension if they’ve bad a fight in the past, females and males will massage the genitals of their friends, and they have sex so much that scientists who study them actually call the act of having sex a “bonobo handshake”.” Kazimir laughed as he thought about it, shaking his head with a happy sigh. “Those apes will have sex with anyone, male or female, and they definitely enjoy it.”

“Please. I beg of you. Stop.” Shichi moaned, slamming his head futilely against the muscular chest. “You’re ruining my childhood.”

Kazimir paused and grinned down at the tired teenage boy in his arms, gently setting him back down on his feet. “Alright, alright.” He conceded, patting Shichi’s head and helping him fix his messed up clothes. “But just so you know, while other animals do have same-sex sex, only humans show signs of true homosexuality and love towards members of the same gender. In other animals, those sorts of relationships are usually as a result of lack of members of the other gender, a surplus in offspring that leaves them with nothing better to do, or simply young interest in trying new things.”

“Fantastic. Just what I always wondered.” Shichi said sarcastically, stepping away from Kazimir to finish tidying himself up, trying furiously to get rid of the bright red blush coating his entire face. “Are other animals homosexual? Answer:not really.”

“But humans definitely can be!” Kazimir sang, wrapping his arms around Shichi and wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. “Both intimately and just plain romantically.”

“Please stop touching me before I frame you to Drakon for being a creepo and a pervert.” Shichi said flatly, and Kazimir knew the boy would do it without hesitation.

Kazimir laughed as he drew his hands away, holding them up in the air in surrender as Shichi tried to right the ladder so he could get back to dusting the painting.

“You got me! I won’t do it again!” Kazimir said cheerfully, Shichi merely snorting in response as he started climbing up once more. Kazimir watched him climb, noting the definite grace that filled the boy’s movements as he went, the easy sway of his hips as he took one step after another, the lean muscle of his arms and legs, and the focused look that filled those intensely icy blue eyes of his that Kazimir just adored. Sure, he’d seen all those things before in various other people, he’d even had relationships with people who fit that exact description, but something was different about Shichi. Kazimir couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but something was different, and it drew him to the young teenager like a moth to a flame. He just couldn’t get Shichi out of his head.

Kazimir held the ladder again as Shichi reached the top, standing on his tiptoes to continue dusting the painting where he’d left off, muttering to himself about dumb apes and monkeys, and perverted old men.

“I can’t believe he would say things like that to me.” Shichi growled, furiously scrubbing his dust rag over the painting as he glared at the icy man staring out at him from it. “I mean, I’m still technically a kid! Sure, I know some things about sex and I’ve had my fair share of desire, but I don’t need to hear about sex-crazed apes and monkeys! Nor do I need not-so-subtle hints about how he’s clearly gay and wants me to turn gay as well.”

Shichi huffed as he moved to a different segment of the painting, still glaring and growling all the while. “That stupid, perverted man! I’m not going to become gay! No way, no how. No matter if monkeys and apes get it on with the same gender every single day! I’m no monkey! He’s not getting anywhere with me with lines like that.”

Shichi glared down at Kazimir, noticing the huge man holding onto the bottom of the ladder so that Shichi wouldn’t fall again and waving happily up at Shichi once he noticed the boy watching him.

Idiot.

Shichi pointedly turned back to his work and continued dusting off the painting, wondering how much more of this incessant flirting he’d be able to take before committing his first murder.

“Back to the uniform thing!” Kazimir called from below, and Shichi groaned loudly, slamming his head against the poor painting in front of him. Why? Why couldn’t that man shut up for more than two minutes?

“I really think you ought to wear one.” Kazimir continued, either oblivious or just plain uncaring about Shichi’s sorry state. “I’ll even get your first one for you! How does a maid’s uniform sound?”

“Like the trick of a sad man desperate to get laid!” Shichi shot back, making sure he didn’t look back at Kazimir so the blush forming yet again on his cheeks wasn’t visible. “Now go away and leave me alone!”

Kazimir only laughed from below, the good-natured sound ringing almost pleasantly in Shichi’s ears and making his stomach do a weird flip-flop. God. He hated Kazimir being around. It always did funny things to him that he didn’t understand, nor did he want to begin understanding them. He was way too awkward and naïve for this sort of thing.

_“Cтаршего брата (Starshego brata/Big brother).”_ A small voice called from down the hall, and Shichi looked over to see Vorona, running up to the ladder with a smile on her cute little face. She waved happily at him and Shichi couldn’t help the soft smile that came over his own face as he waved back.

_“Привет Ворона (Privet Vorona/Hello Vorona).”_ He called down to the little girl. _“Что ты здесь делаешь (Chto ty zdes' delayesh'/What are you doing here)?”_

Vorona shrugged and gestured for him to come down, which was a signal that Shichi knew very well by now. She wanted to play some more. Apparently she’d finished yet another book in the time it had taken Shichi to dust off about seven paintings and sweep just one hallway.

He blamed Kazimir for his lack of work ethic.

Shichi nodded at Vorona to show he was coming down and quickly finished the painting he was on, climbing down the ladder to meet his young charge.

Kazimir and Vorona chatted together in Russian while Shichi came down the ladder, and Vorona laughed at something the large man said, hugging his leg briefly before looking up happily at Shichi.

Shichi glanced over at Kazimir as he reached the bottom, the lawyer just shrugging and smiling innocently at him with those stupidly entrancing blue eyes.

For some reason, Vorona liked Kazimir. She got along okay with Semyon, and didn’t like her father or Denis very much, but she did like Kazimir whenever he came to visit. Shichi had no idea why. Maybe once his Russian got better, he would actually understand what they said to each other and figure it out.

But for now…

Shichi picked up Vorona in his arms and tickled her belly a little, smiling as the small girl giggled wildly at the action, wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging him happily.

“Shichi play.” The little girl said in English, smiling goofily up at Shichi like she was expecting some kind of reaction.

“Of course Shichi will play.” Shichi responded, poking Vorona’s nose with a smile. “Shichi will play until he gets tired again and then Vorona can read some more.”

Vorona nodded in agreement with this plan and then waved at Kazimir before directing Shichi to head back to her room. Apparently she had the game set up in there already.

Shichi refused to look at Kazimir as he left, fully aware of those gorgeous eyes resting on him as he marched off, watching him with that same warm twinkle that they always had. Yes, he definitely hated Kazimir. There was no question about it. And if he ever had to see Kazimir in some kind of situation like the bathhouse scenario, where one of them was naked and Kazimir was being a pervert, Shichi was pretty sure he was just going to go and kill himself. He did not need that man in his life, thank you very much. Not in any way, shape, or form.

If Shichi had known what was going to happen that night when he took a shower, he would have left Drakon’s house right then and there, even though it had barely been a week since his arrival.

Because he’d never imagined losing his first kiss like that.

***

_“Right then. Goodnight Shizuo!”_ Shichi sang, getting ready to hang up. _“Tell Izaya we love him!”_

“Wait what?” Shizuo gawked, jumping to his feet. “You can’t just end it at that! What do you mean losing your first kiss? What’s this about a shower? Does it have to do with Kazimir? Hello! I need answers!”

“Join the club.” Izaya groaned from the toilet, glaring at the phone with his sickly green face. “I’m so gonna…kill him for this.” He quickly turned back to the toilet before throwing up again, Shizuo patting him back gently and offering him some paper towels to wipe his face with before turning back on Shichi.

“You can’t leave us like this!” Shizuo insisted, gripping the phone tightly. “We need more!”

_“Sorry boys, but that’s all for tonight.”_ Shichi responded on the other side. _“I’ll talk to you on Friday, okay? And Izaya: no more snakes. Got it? Or I’ll think up an even worse cliffhanger next time. Love you! Bye!”_

Shizuo was left listening to the ringing sound of the dial, staring at the dreaded words “call ended” glowing on his screen, unsure of what to do next.

“My father is an evil man.” Izaya said flatly, his voice every bit as miserable as the rest of him. “Now will you join Operation Fluffles?”

Shizuo sighed, running his fingers through his hair as he set Izaya’s phone down and picked up his own. “Yes. Now I might just join.” He muttered before turning on the camera and directing it at himself.

“Right! So that was this week’s episode! Hope you stay tuned for more of “Shichi’s Adventures in Russia” next week!” He said as cheerfully as he could, but a little annoyance was nevertheless slipping into his voice and turning it into something of a growl. “This is Heiwajima Shizuo, signing off. We’ll see you back for Episode Six: The Bear’s Kiss.”

“Oh, Erika better get her pen ready.” Izaya growled as Shizuo ended the recording and turned his full attention on his sick boyfriend. “She’s gonna have a lot of BL to draw next week.”

“Hopefully.” Shizuo sighed, kissing the top of Izaya’s head as the raven muttered miserably beside him. “We can only pray that what we think happens will happen.”

“It better happen.” Izaya snarled, slamming his fist against the toilet with a fierce glare. “Or I’ll go over to Erika, ask her to draw some serious Kazichi smut, and post it absolutely everywhere!”

“I have no doubt that you will.” Shizuo said with a smile, rubbing Izaya’s back as the green tinge entered his pale face once more. “But first you need to get better.”

Izaya hurled up once more into the toilet, muttering plans of bloody murder to himself once he was finished, proving once again that nothing could stop Orihara Izaya from plotting someone’s downfall if he put his mind to it.

Oh how Shizuo loved him.

And oh how Shizuo couldn’t wait for Operation Fluffles to begin.

“That evil man is going down.”

“Heck yeah, he is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, there you go! You now know all about homosexuality in animals, as well as the bonobo apes which are...majorly oversexed. I thought that was absolutely crazy when I read about it. And why was I reading about it you may ask? Well that is simply because I was looking up whether or not animals besides humans showed signs of homosexuality, and there was a whole segment in the article I was reading on bonobo apes' sexual habits.  
> ...  
> There were pictures, too.  
> ...  
> I recommend never looking them up.
> 
> In any case! I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! Thank you so much for reading! I hope you're all looking forward to the sailing of the Kazichi ship as much as I am! I'll see you next Friday! <3


	7. The Bear's Kiss (Поцелуй медведя)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody! Sorry this took so long to get up! I actually started working my summer job this week (I’m a teacher/general assistant for a middle school summer camp), and I don’t get home until around 6:00 to 6:30. So this chapter was kinda put together in between breaks and before leaving houses and after dinner and during family movies and whatnot.
> 
> The final part was actually done just now and then it all got nice and uploaded…at a very late time. I promise I didn’t forget! Just lost quite a bit of time for writing this week. It’ll probably be late like this next week, too. Sorry about that!
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy the chapter! <3

“Hello to all of the people watching this!” Izaya chirped cheerfully, a maniacal grin aimed right at the screen. “Guess what? I’m not sick anymore!”

“He actually got better just a few days after the last episode aired.” Shizuo threw in, pushing his head into the frame of the camera to deliver his message before pulling back out again.

Izaya nodded in agreement with the comment, his red eyes sparkling with glee. “Yes! Which meant I had nearly an entire week to harass Shichi! A whole week of nothing but trying to screw that guy’s life up! Operation Fluffles has kicked up to the next level!”

“I’m honestly surprised that Shichi hasn’t filed a lawsuit against you yet.” Shizuo muttered from off the screen, picking up a little box decorated with elegant wrapping paper and eying it skeptically. “Some of the things you’ve done to him now are just downright illegal.”

“Oh, they are not!” Izaya scowled, waving a dismissive hand in Shizuo’s direction. “They’re just highly frowned upon by the moral groups of society.”

Shizuo snorted at that, shaking his head as he set the deceptively nice box down and came back over to Izaya’s side. “Right. And I’m not endowed with super strength. Everything I pick up just happens to be made out of aluminum.” The blonde said sarcastically, rolling his eyes at his boyfriend.

“Shut up.” Izaya grumbled, punching Shizuo in the arm. “No one asked you, protozoan. And are you a law studies major? No? Didn’t think so.”

The raven turned to face Shizuo with a defiant look burning in his gaze. “So just be quiet and let me do the intro for the show. And also describe the latest activities of Operation Fluffles to my fellow Fluffles members.”

Shizuo sighed, already knowing that there was no way he was going to win this argument, and just nodded in consent. “Alright, alright.” He said, patting Izaya’s head fondly despite the exasperation he felt. “Go ahead and speak to your followers.”

“Thank you.” Izaya said haughtily, turning around and smiling at the camera. “So here you go, Operation Fluffles followers. I have a list compiled of all the things I did to Shichi over the course of the week.”

The raven proudly held up a (startlingly long) sheet of paper, filled to the brim with various descriptions of mischief, mayhem, and madness.

“On Sunday!” Izaya began mightily. “I rearranged all of his paperwork for class so that he had no idea what he was supposed to be teaching on Monday. I also reheated all of the food in his fridge and burnt everything to a crisp before putting it back in. I hid his favorite rugs so he had to walk on the cold tile. I overflowed the bathtub. I stole Fluffles for five hours. I bribed the twins into acting like crazy demons for the day and also gave them one bucket of candy each to heighten the effect. And I threw his whites in with all of his reds so that his favorite white shirt came out hot pink.”

Izaya took one small breath and then continued. “On Monday, I-”

“Right, so this is going to take forever if you read that entire list.” Shizuo said hurriedly, grabbing the list away and eying it before cramming it into his own pocket. “Let’s just move on to the episode introduction. I think they get the point: you made Shichi’s day a living hell.”

Izaya huffed, crossing his arms with a red-eyed glare. “You have no spirit of fun.” He muttered darkly, scowling at the tall blonde.

“This isn’t fun. This is life-wrecking and trolling.” Shizuo said flatly.

“No way!” Izaya protested. “The only trolling I did was on Thursday when I set up an online dating account for him and hooked him up with a grandma from Virginia, some mildly attractive model who lives uptown, and another teacher at Raijin.”

Shizuo just stared at Izaya for several seconds, unable to even think of anything to say. Izaya stared right back, defiance filling his entire gaze. No one said a word.

“So welcome to episode six of “Shichi’s Adventures in Russia”!” Shizuo finally said, looking back at the camera with a bright smile.

“Hey! Don’t avoid this problem!” Izaya snapped, trying to wave a hand in front of Shizuo’s face and regain his attention.

“Today’s episode: The Bear’s Kiss.” Shizuo continued, completely ignoring the small raven. “Let’s call Shichi and get started!”

Izaya growled as he yanked his phone out of his pocket, giving Shizuo the stink eye the entire time. “This isn’t over.” He hissed as the phone rang on the other side. “Not by a long shot.”

Izaya’s attention soon shifted to the angry Russian man yelling on the other side of the phone, promising death threats and swearing to murder his own son if he saw him again within the month and demanding to know how to shut down his stupid dating profile.

“I’ll tell you all of that later, Dad.” Izaya assured the angry man with an evil grin, winking at the camera conspiringly. “But for now, can we just get to the story again? I have some question that really need answering. For starters…”

Izaya gripped the phone tightly in his hand and yelled right at the speaker. “WHAT IS THIS SHOWER AND FIRST KISS THING YOU TALKED ABOUT?!”

***

Shichi played with Vorona for what felt like days of torture and was probably actually only a couple hours of tolerable madness. 

First they began with a simple game of tag. Tag soon evolved into freeze tag. Freeze tag became shadow tag. Shadow tag became shadow freeze tag. Shadow freeze tag became a full-on sparring match of anger and betrayal. The sparring match became Shichi’s undoing. He discovered that even he, a boy spurned by the universe itself in every way possible, could not bring himself to hit a small, adorable, innocent little toddler girl.

Said small, adorable, innocent little toddler girl had no qualms about slamming a fist right into his crotch at the first chance she got.

Traitorous little vixen.

After Shichi had finished rolling on the floor in absolute pain and agony, ready to murder the first person who wandered within two feet of him, and Vorona had finished apologizing frantically to him and trying to figure out if he was okay, the pair decided that they were done playing for the day. It was almost ten o’clock, at any rate. Definitely time for Vorona to go to bed.

“Come on, small bane of my existence.” Shichi sighed, grabbing the little girl’s hips and hefting her up onto the bed. “Please fall asleep when I tell you to.”

“Never do that.” Vorona said firmly, crossing her arms and staying completely upright in bed. She gave him a rather toothy grin, violet eyes sparkling, and said, “Not do until Shichi use Russian. And give goodnight kiss.”

“What?” Shichi asked in surprise, staring at the grinning girl on the bed. “What are you talking about? You’ve never asked for a kiss before, Vorona.”

“Want one now.” Vorona huffed, puckering out her lips expectantly.

“Riiiiiight.” Shichi said slowly, eying the puckered lips doubtfully. “Um…little girl, I don’t kiss…little girls.”

“Not little!” Vorona protested, planting her hands on her hips and shooting him a glare. “Now give goodnight kiss!”

“Vorona, I am not going to kiss you.” Shichi said firmly, shoving the little girl down onto her bed and forcefully tucking her in. “Honestly, you’re just like Kazimir.”

“Nuh uh.” Vorona muttered, trying to wriggle out of the cocoon Shichi had trapped her in. “Shichi would’ve kissed Kazimir.”

“Wha- I would not have!” Shichi yelled, his cheeks turning bright red as he glared at the pouting girl. “Kazimir is a weird, overly forward, oddly factual, definitely perverted, mischievous old man!”

“Only few years older than Shichi.” Vorona reminded him ever so helpfully. “And Shichi still talk to him, so must still like him.”

“I do _not_ like him.” Shichi hissed, smacking her upside the head. “I only talk to him because if I don’t, he’ll try to be even more annoying!”

“Yeah. Sure.” Vorona rolled her eyes.

“Don’t sass me, small child.” Shichi flicked her on her button nose, trying not to snicker at the way she crossed her eyes and scrunched her face. “Just go to bed, okay? If you go to bed now, without any more arguments, I’ll give you a goodnight kiss tomorrow. But _not_ on the lips.”

“Why not?” Vorona demanded, trying to sit up as Shichi began to head for the door.

“Because I don’t kiss little girls like that.” Shichi called over his shoulder, yanking open the door and pausing briefly in the doorway. _“Теперьдобрая,маленькаясестра (Teper' dobraya,malen'kayasestra/Now goodnight, little sister).”_

_“Добройночи (Dobroynochi/Goodnight).”_ Vorona grumbled in response, rolling over and facing her wall with a huff.

Shichi smiled as he shut the door behind himself, shaking his head at the toddler’s behavior. Little children. They did the craziest things.

As Shichi padded through the echoing halls of Drakon’s mansion, hearing his footsteps ring around the empty space in the sleeping household, he realized something very important. Something that would have hit him several days ago if he hadn’t been so busy trying to adjust to life in Drakon’s house and figuring out the best ways to tire out Vorona or avoid Kazimir.

Shichi hadn’t taken a shower since he left Japan. Not a single drop of body wash had touched his skin for over 72 hours. The only cleansing thing he’d come in contact with was the water in the bathhouse that had already been dirtied up by naked Russians. He was probably developing a second skin composed entirely of dirt and sleet from the outside world. Germs were using him as a playground. He was going to develop some kind of horrid illness from lack of hygiene. His body was on the brink of destruction.  
Maybe three of those statements were slightly exaggerated, but they were nevertheless present issues that, in Shichi’s opinion,could definitely develop if given enough time. He _had_ to take a shower, and as soon as possible.

“I wonder where the shower is…” Shichi muttered, a little embarrassed that he hadn’t asked that rather pertinent question before now. He gazed at the looming halls, peering down pathways and peeking around corners for something that looked like it could be a bathroom area. Everything looked the same in Drakon’s house. One closed-off, menacing door after the other. One winding, ominous hallway after the other. One big useless maze that just kept leading him in circles.

“Come on, come on, come on.” Shichi growled, grabbing a door handle and yanking it open, only to find yet another hallway that led off into shadows. “Seriously?! How big of a house does one guy need?” Shichi demanded, storming down this hallway in something that was more rage than actual thought. “I mean really! The dude’s got one kid and two permanent workers. Hardly any business guests. Definitely no casual visitors. He doesn’t need a mansion!”

Shichi kicked open the next door, pure fury boiling in his veins when he saw what appeared to be the third broom cupboard he’d come across.

“This is stupid!” He snarled, kicking open another door and finding a lovely collection of toilet paper.

“I hate this!” The next door revealed what appeared to be swimming supplies: goggles, beach towels and such (although Shichi wasn’t exactly sure where in Russia Drakon was planning on using those).

“I’m going to give up on all forms of hygiene in approximately three seconds!” Shichi yelled, kicking open his final door with a shout.

And this final door, wonder of wonders, opened on a shower room.

Yes, it was a shower room, not a bathroom or a restroom. There wasn’t a toilet in this room, or even a sink or a wash bucket of some kind. There was just one massive shower with glass walls that took up at least sixteen square feet of space. A few glass shelves protruded from the walls on the inside of the shower, and on these shelves rested various bottles of shampoo, conditioner, body wash, bubble bath stuff, scented lotions, and who even knew what else. The showerhead wasn’t visible to Shichi from the entrance, but when he stepped inside the giant room and peered up at the roof, he could see many little holes peppering the entire thing inside the cage of the glass walls. So it looked like the entire roof of the shower itself was the showerhead. The shower probably felt like warm rain. And when Shichi looked at the far wall of the shower, he could see tons of knobs and settings to no doubt adjust the shower spray. There were fluffy white rugs set just outside the shower by a rack of equally fluffy white towels. The floors were all warm-colored tile, a marble bench outside the shower matched the marble lining of the glass walls, the softly glowing lights glittering overhead and threw everything into a beautiful shine, and the handles of the knobs and the one wall that opened to let people inside the shower were all perfectly polished gold.

Simply put: this shower looked like a paradise.

“Oh my God.” Shichi muttered, his icy eyes wide with awe as he slowly walked in and closed the shower door behind him. “This place is…amazing.”

After taking in all the ridiculous extravagance of the shower room, just soaking in the scent of the obscenely rich, Shichi wasted no time in stripping himself out of his clothes and hurling them on the marble bench by the shower, eager to try out the beautiful thing.

He practically flung open the glass door and ran inside the shower, immediately examining all the knobs with great fascination. He’d never even heard of anything this fancy, let alone used it. This was a moment to savor. He ran his fingers over every knob, carefully reading the Russian labels around them to figure out what they did. Thanks to his little lessons with Vorona, he was able to understand most of it.

The large knob turned on the water, just like any regular shower. The smaller knob beside it controlled temperature, left for hot, right for cold. A knob on the other side determined how much of the shower’s roof was used during the actual shower. The farther you spun it to the left, the more of the roof became a shower. If you spun it all the way to the right, just a small circle in the center of the roof was left pouring water out. Those were the important ones. Everything else was far too luxurious for Shichi to focus on that time. He just couldn’t wait to get cleaned up!

Shichi eagerly began spinning knobs, reveling in the feel of the warm water hitting his back and increasing the spray until it felt like a full-on rain shower. He closed his eyes, letting his fingers hover on the edge of the temperature knob, letting the warmth sink into his skin.

Steam rose up around the exhausted teenage boy, seeping into his pores and clouding his vision from the world around him. He let the water soak in all around him, enjoying the shower more than he’d enjoyed anything else in a good long while. This…this was pure luxury.

Shichi stayed like that – just standing in the roaring, steaming, soothing shower – for an amount of time that he wasn’t even certain about. Eventually, he began to gather up some shampoo to wash his hair with, and actually started on the showering process.

And by that time, someone new had entered the room.

Someone that Shichi probably never wanted to see in a situation like this. Someone that was all too happy to see Shichi like this. Someone that you all were probably waiting to show up.

Kazimir couldn’t believe his luck. He just couldn’t believe how much the universe loved him.

His bright blue eyes locked on the gorgeous form through the curling steam, only able to make out a general silhouette of it from the distance of the door. But that general silhouette was definitely enough. He could tell exactly who it was by the slightly sloping curves, the lean rigidity of the arms and legs, the perfect shape of the rear end, and the mild grace that filled each movement the silhouette made.

Kazimir had just walked in on Shichi taking a shower.

Let him just repeat that: Shichi taking a shower!

Kazimir couldn’t stop the wide grin that spread over his face like that of a perverted teenage boy who’d just walked into a women’s bathhouse undetected. This was like a gold mine. There Shichi was, running his hands over his stunning figure, lathering it down with body wash and soaps, undulating and curling the muscles of his body in an enrapturing display as he slowly cleaned himself of all the grime that had no doubt filled his last few days. His icy eyes were closed in pleasure, Kazimir could see that for certain, and the soft lines of his face spoke to the utter relaxation sinking into him.

Kazimir had never seen Shichi’s face that unguarded and open before.

It was always set into either a scowl or a suspicious stare whenever he was around. Even when little Vorona came up to Shichi, there was always at least a hint of stress infecting the boy’s facial expressions. The guy was filled with stress and anxiety and suspicion throughout all of his days. These moments of peace must be few and far between for him.  
No wonder he seemed to be enjoying himself so much.

Kazimir could actually feel his mouth water as he watched Shichi’s hands glide smoothly over his body, the teenage boy’s eyes closed, making him completely oblivious to his spectator. The long fingers slipped into every valley and curve his body made, massaging gently in some places, scrubbing roughly in others, with each motion a new entrapment for Kazimir’s gaze.

He…was so screwed.

“I’ve never been this fixated on a naked person before.” Kazimir muttered softly aloud to himself, still watching Shichi without even looking away. “Shichi…Shichi is beautiful.”

Shichi really was different from any person Kazimir had ever met so far. He was intelligent, strong, independent, sarcastic, hardened to the outside world, and drop-dead gorgeous. Well, the last part might only be Kazimir’s opinion but who cared?

The point was that Kazimir was entranced by Shichi, not just in this moment, watching him take a shower as though it was the greatest ecstasy the world could offer. No…Kazimir knew he was entranced with everything Shichi did. He had no idea why. He just knew that it was true. Maybe he was too young to fully recognize what was going on. But even if he was…he knew that he had no intention of ever parting from Shichi’s side. Ever.

Kazimir softly closed the shower door behind him, making his way as quietly as possible over to the marble bench just outside the huge glass shower. He was actually quite grateful to whoever cleaned this place that those glass walls were in such pristine condition. He could see so clearly through them, it was like they weren’t even there.

Shichi was in the middle of shampooing his hair, it seemed, fingers tangled in the blonde locks and steadily massaging the foamy lather into them. His eyes were still closed, the front of his body left in the warm water pouring from the roof (not all of the roof, just a good portion of it with a small outer ring that remained dry) and he still hadn’t noticed Kazimir’s presence. Water ran in trails over Shichi’s body and Kazimir eyed those trails hungrily, wishing he could briefly take the place of one just to see what it would feel like to run over Shichi’s skin so freely.

That was what he desperately wanted right now, seeing Shichi so vulnerable and exposed like this. He wanted to hold him, he wanted to run his hands over that small body, he wanted to feel him and imprint the feeling of the boy into his mind forever. Hell, he didn’t even necessarily want to have sex with the boy right now (although he definitely wouldn’t say no if the action was offered)…he just wanted to be with Shichi. Be with him as closely and as intimately as possible. He wanted to…connect to him.

Kazimir bit his lip as he watched Shichi turn around, stepping carefully backwards into the water stream to rinse the shampoo out of his hair. The shampoo lather joined the water spray in rushing down Shichi’s body, even more tempting rivulets of things that got to touch Shichi for Kazimir to be jealous of.

Shichi hummed as his rinsed himself off, his back curling a little into the warm water like a cat soaking in the sun. Or rather, a bear coming out of hibernation in the winter. Yeah. A small bear delighted to find the warmth of the world around him after months of his cold, dark cave. That was what Shichi looked like right now.

Shichi made sure every inch of the shampoo had been rinsed off his body before moving onto conditioner, and right about then was where Kazimir lost it.

He couldn’t just watch this cleansing process again, envying every little drop of water that slid down Shichi’s body. He should be in there himself. Shichi might not appreciate that too much…but with his face so sweet and open like that, Kazimir was honestly having a hard time picturing Shichi rejecting him, even though it happened all the time during the day.

Kazimir silently stripped out of his own clothing (better make it look like he was simply planning on taking a shower, too) and wrapped his fingers around the gold handle of the shower door, waiting for the right moment to pull it open .

Shichi was facing him right now as he worked the conditioner onto his head, icy eyes shut to the spray of water bouncing off his body, humming softly to himself as he stood there. Kazimir couldn’t risk opening the door with Shichi right there, looking at him. He’d have to wait until Shichi turned around.

Which didn’t actually take very long. Shichi turned to face the other way maybe two seconds later, having forgotten something or ready to add something else, and Kazimir used the chance to yank open the shower door and slip inside, as silently as the lynx he was so often named for.

Shichi had no clue someone had joined him in the shower. All he knew was that he was thoroughly enjoying the warm water seeping into him, relaxing him more than anything else ever had, and letting off such a wonderful steam that reminded him of the hot springs back in Japan. He loved the shampoos and conditioners that Drakon owned: they all smelled great and they reminded Shichi of forests in the winter. Everything felt warm and soothing and wonderful and perfect. This shower literally could not get any better.  
When Shichi was done washing conditioner into his hair, he turned around to grab the body wash on the glass shelf beside him. He liked to put in conditioner and let it sit while he washed his body before rinsing himself off all at once. It made him feel like his hair got cleaner for some reason.

But when Shichi turned around with the body wash, ready to start on that last part of his shower, he was greeted with a sight that would remain with him for the rest of his days.  
A huge, firm, well-muscled chest was blocking his line of sight, decorated in tattoos of lynxes and strange Russian patterns. Perfect abdominal muscles and pectorals just arranged themselves in front of Shichi’s face, showing off all their muscular glory like it was some artist’s statue. When Shichi looked down in shock, he saw equally muscled legs to support the thick body, everything built out of pure muscle but nothing looking too extreme. It wasn’t like some body builder was standing in front of him, muscles bulging ridiculously as a result of excessive steroids. No, it was more like a perfectly muscled Adonis had started modeling for a nude magazine, and he was the test audience to see if the magazine would work.

Well Shichi should just give his opinion right now: it would.

He could feel his cheeks blushing into a slight pink color at the perfect body before him, and he started to wonder if now the universe was making him hallucinate things, or at least set up wonderful situations for him to find himself in. But when his eyes inadvertently flicked up to stare at the package between the man’s legs, and he saw how massive it was, he knew that wasn’t true at all. Because he remembered that thing. He remembered what it looked like and who it belonged to.

The universe hated him just as much as ever.

Shichi took an immediate step back in fright, head snapping up to see the immaculately sculpted face of none other than Kazimir, grinning wolfishly at him like this had been his grand plan all along. The bright blue eyes sparkled at Shichi, and Shichi could practically feel his knees going weak at the overwhelming presence that Kazimir seemed to be giving off. There must be something in the air right now doing this to him. A drug or sedative of some kind. Because Shichi honestly felt vulnerable, helpless, and slightly (only slightly mind you!) attracted to the man in front of him. He almost felt like a female wolf, ready to submit to her mate.

Not. Good. At. All.

“Oh look.” Shichi managed to get out in his usual sarcastic voice. “It’s monkey sex man.”

Kazimir chuckled a little bit at the dry comment, the sound making Shichi’s stomach do that strange flip-flop from earlier, only on a much larger scale.

Definitely not good.

“It’s good to see you too, Shichi.” Kazimir said casually, chatting as though they’d just randomly run into each other on the street instead of one of them popping in on the other in the shower. “Come here often?”

Shichi forced a scowl onto his face and took a shaky step backwards, glaring as hard as he could at Kazimir despite the heat growing on his face. “Yes. Every Tuesday.” He responded sarcastically, hoping an icy attitude would get Kazimir to leave. “Now get out of the shower.”

“But I want to take a shower, too.” Kazimir said with a shrug, as though it was unfortunate but couldn’t be helped. Then he took a step closer to Shichi, still smiling at him with that same stupid twinkle in his eyes. “So why can’t we shower together?”

Shichi took another step back in response, knowing that the shower wall was probably coming up on his back as he moved but still feeling the irrational need to move back anyways. “B-Because that’s just not right!” Shichi protested weakly, absolutely hating the stutter in his voice as Kazimir crept closer.

“Why not?” Kazimir asked pleasantly, cocking his head like the innocent thing he most certainly was not. “We’d be saving Drakon on the water bill, we’d both be clean much faster than usual, and I wouldn’t have to wait for you to be done to take my own shower.”

“Go find another shower to take yours in!” Shichi yelled, feeling his back press up against the wall entirely now and trying to press even further into it, cheeks flushing bright red.  
“I’m content right…here.” Kazimir whispered, finally reaching Shichi against the wall and pressing slightly into him.

Shichi held back a yeep as he felt Kazimir’s legs press against his own, the far more muscular legs rubbing into his skin making him feel like he was standing on twigs in comparison. Kazimir’s hands came up to plant themselves against the wall on either side of Shichi’s head, giving Shichi the feeling that he was currently trapped in place. And Kazimir bent his head down so that his face was closer to Shichi’s, stopping only a few inches away from the flustered boy’s highly reddened face, letting his hot breath course gently over it. 

Thankfully, Kazimir kept his pelvis angled away from Shichi so that his…manly parts…weren’t touching Shichi’s own (much less) manly parts. But Shichi was still quite concerned with the lack of personal space that was being employed here.

“C-Could you not?” Shichi asked weakly, cursing himself for sounding so scared as he tried to bring one of his hands up to push Kazimir away. “I’d like you to go away now.”

“Just a little longer.” Kazimir promised in a low whisper, the hot breath moving over Shichi’s warm body like some kind of desert breeze, making him shudder involuntarily. Kazimir seemed to notice this and a sly grin slipped over his face, the twinkle in his eyes only increasing.

“I’ll stay just a little longer.” He practically purred, leaning in closer to the teenage boy he was trapping, making his final move. “I only need to do one thing before I go.”

“A-And w-what is that?” Shichi managed to whisper out, his attempts to push Kazimir away becoming more futile by the second. It seemed Kazimir was every bit as strong as he looked, and he just kept coming closer! His face kept creeping towards Shichi’s, and the worst part was that Shichi found that he wasn’t even turning his own face away. He was letting the pervert come closer to him. His body was losing its resistance against Kazimir. He wasn’t going to last much longer.

Kazimir finally moved his lips right over Shichi’s, pausing there for just half of a breath, an intake of tension and passion as both of them froze in front of each other, neither one moving. Shichi was waiting to see what Kazimir would do. Kazimir was waiting to see if Shichi would push him away. Neither one shifted from their positions.

“This.” Kazimir finally whispered, the hot breath coursing over Shichi’s face and making his eyelashes flutter briefly before he felt it.

Lips closing on his own. Lips _pressing_ against his own. More so than that… _Kazimir’s_ lips pressing against his own.

The tall man slotted their mouths together like they’d been kissing each other for years, keeping one hand planted firmly next to Shichi’s head and letting the other drop to curl around Shichi’s waist, pulling him closer. Shichi felt his hot body press hard against Kazimir’s, practically melting at the supernova feeling of warm water pouring on his head combined with Kazimir’s body pressing against him. His hands completely dropped from Kazimir’s chest, sliding themselves around his back to cling to him for dear life.

Kazimir took this as a sign to go further, evidently, and gently poked his tongue at Shichi’s lower lip, asking for entrance. Shichi almost recoiled from the thought of that – a tongue other than his own inside of his mouth – but the gentle, massaging strokes that Kazimir started to make with his tongue against Shichi’s lip began to…change his mind somewhat. It was soothing and hot at the same time, seducing Shichi’s senses and making him want to give in to the demands of the man holding him.

He felt his nails rake into Kazimir’s back as his grip got more desperate, knees going weak while Kazimir’s tongue continued its heady and tempting massage. Finally, with a small moan, Shichi could feel his jaw go slack, eyes fluttering shut in submission to the gentle movements Kazimir was making.

Kazimir wasted no time in slipping his tongue inside of Shichi’s mouth, stroking gently at Shichi’s tongue the same way he’d done to Shichi’s lip, then moving on to explore the rest of the teenage boy’s mouth. Shichi groaned into the deep kiss, feeling like his whole mouth was on fire as he pressed further into Kazimir’s body, the heat completely consuming him even in the middle of Russia.

Kazimir let his other hand drop from the wall to curl in Shichi’s hair, another blast of heat that drew another groan of pleasure from Shichi’s body. Kazimir groaned back in response, tilting his head and finding a new angle to taste Shichi’s mouth from, pulling away briefly to suck in a quick breath before diving back in.

Shichi fell to it all, his hands running up and down the strong lines of Kazimir’s back as his head moved in sync with Kazimir’s, both of them tilting and turning and angling and gasping for breath at the same moments to find the greatest pleasure from this one, not-so-simple kiss.

Shichi had no idea how long they did that. He had no idea how long they stood there, making out in the rain of the shower, but it felt like a timeless eternity to him. Nothing but an explosion of heat and passion that seemed to last forever without lasting for any time at all. And just like any explosion, it had to fade away at some point.

Kazimir and Shichi pulled apart at the same time, both of them gasping for breath and looking straight into each other’s eyes as the kiss ended. Both of them knew somehow that this time they wouldn’t be diving in for more. Despite how this parting had been abrupt, just like all the others, this one was somehow known to be the final one.

They just stared at each other, breathing heavily, pupils dilated, bodies pounding with blood and heat as they stood together in that shower.

Kazimir stared at Shichi and Shichi stared at him, his teenage mind fuzzy with lust and not quite back to reality yet. It seemed like Kazimir could tell that as he looked into Shichi’s unfocused blue orbs, and it also seemed like he was going to use that accordingly.

“Now before you come to your senses,” Kazimir whispered, his voice a little hoarse and raspy from the heated kiss as he slowly leaned next to Shichi’s ear. “I’m…going to leave as fast as I can.”

And without another word, the huge Russian swept out of the shower stall, closed the door behind him, dried himself off with a fluffy towel, and got dressed, exiting the room barely three seconds later.

Shichi just stood there for a long time afterwards, staring off into space as the water poured down around him, no longer blocked by Kazimir’s body. The warmth of the water was still there from before, but it didn’t feel the same as it had earlier. It was colder now. Emptier. The actual heat of it had seemed to leave with Kazimir. That man had stolen away the warmth of the shower.

Shichi’s fingers slowly reached up to touch his lips, still feeling the buzzing from the contact they’d just had. And then the reality of his current situation hit him.

That man had just stolen away the warmth of the shower. Along with Shichi’s first kiss.

Anger immediately replaced the numbness and confusion inside, filling the coldness in Shichi’s body with red-hot rage. That man…that horrible, terrible, awful, sneaky, perverted man was going to pay!

“I’m getting you back for this, Kazimir!” Shichi yelled hoarsely, pushing himself off the wall and slamming into the glass door. He clumsily grasped at the door handle, flinging it open with probably a little more force than was necessary, and stumbling through it. “If it’s the last thing I do!” He screamed into the empty shower room, grabbing a towel off the wall and drying himself off frantically. “Just you wait, you horrid lynx! I’m coming for you!”

Outside the shower room door, a tall man with lynx tattoos smiled. “Trust me. I’ll be waiting.” He said softly, turning and walking off into the darkened hallways with a small laugh. “I’ll wait for you for a thousand lifetimes if I have to. I’ll always wait for you, Shichi.”

***

_“See? That wasn’t so bad.”_ Shichi said cheerfully on the other end. _“You should feel grateful that I even told you about that kiss. And I think you should also be grateful that the ending is so satisfying and nice. As a matter of fact, I think you should be so grateful for both of those things that you’ll leave me alone entirely until next Friday. What do you say, Satan? I mean, beloved son?”_

“Hmmm.” Izaya hummed on the other side of the phone, stroking his chin as he thought about whether or not he truly felt appeased. “I suppose…we can suspend Operation Fluffles until the next terrible cliffhanger.”

_“Thank you. Wait, Operation Fluffles? What the heck is that?”_ Shichi wondered aloud.

“You don’t need to know!” Izaya sang happily on the other end. “Now goodbye, father! It was excellent hearing from you again!”

_“Hey, now hold on just a minute! What’s Operation Fluffles?”_ Shichi demanded.

“Love you! Bye!” Izaya was practically cackling as he hung up the phone, throwing it far away into the room so that if Shichi called back, he couldn’t hear it. The raven fell over on the couch in laughter, holding his stomach and rolling around in glee.

“I got to hang up on him this time!” He said in delight. “I got to hang up on him!”

“Yes, we’re all very proud of you, you evil demon.” Shizuo rolled his eyes, lifting up his own phone to begin the dutiful recording. “But the thing is, without our usual cliffhanger, I don’t actually know what to call the next episode yet. Usually, we get some kind of lead-in to whatever is coming up, but this time we don’t have it.”

“I think that’s just fine!” Izaya declared, sitting up from his laughing spree and joining Shizuo in the camera frame. “That steamy kiss made it all worth it for me. Let’s just take our best guess when it comes to naming the episode. More than likely, the next thing Shichi tells us about will be either him trying to get revenge, or him moving into the next phase of his job. It’s supposed to be about whatever we ask him, anyway.”

Shizuo nodded in concession. “True. Alright then, I got it.” He turned to look at the camera, giving it a small smile. “We hope you enjoyed this episode of “Shichi’s Adventures in Russia”. Please join us next time for Episode Seven: The Bear’s Next Step.”

“See you there, fellow Operation Fluffles people!” Izaya sang cheerfully. “Let’s start brainstorming some new methods of revenge for when he no doubt gets cocky and throws in another cliffhanger.”

“Please stop it with the revenge.” Shizuo sighed. “Are you not satisfied from everything you did to him in just a few days?”

“Of course not.” Izaya said instantly. “I’m Orihara Izaya. I need to enact at least two weeks of revenge, if not more, to feel fully satisfied.”

Shizuo sighed, looking up at the camera mournfully. “And this is the person my heart fell in love with.” He said in a solemn voice. “Just imagine what will happen if I ever screw up in this relationship.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that until you do it.” Izaya said flippantly waving a hand in the air as he reached over to stop the recording. “Now bye everybody!”

“Bye.” Shizuo said with a heavy sigh.

As Shizuo slipped his phone into his pocket and silence came over the two boys, Izaya looked over at Shizuo with a small smile. “I’m actually pretty glad that you suggested this, Shizu-chan.” He said softly, nuzzling up against the tall blonde in a rare display of Izaya-initiated affection. “Even if it is slowly turning me against my father and his habit of making cliffhangers.”

Shizuo stayed in place for a few moments, not quite saying anything yet, just letting his boyfriend lean against him. And then, after a few seconds of this, a quiet voice said into the dorm room, “Me too, Izaya. Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See? Wasn’t that a much nicer ending than usual? The Kazichi ship is definitely sailing, the story is finally progressing, and Shichi even didn’t throw in a criminal cliffhanger!
> 
> …Being completely honest, I probably wouldn’t have either if I’d been dealing with a vengeful Izaya doing all those horrible things to me. XD But that makes everything work out for us this time around! No terrible cliffhangers to plot Shichi’s demise over…but they’ll probably be back. Just give it a chapter or two.
> 
> In any case, I hope you still enjoyed the chapter despite how late it was (and the lack of editing it has), and I hope to see you next Friday! Bye! <3


	8. The Bear's Next Step (Следующий шаг медведя)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, hey guys! Sorry that this is coming late...even though I told you it would...yeah, it was showcase day today so I stayed late at work to help clean up afterwards. I ended up getting home even later than I thought I would and this time I had a fair chunk of the chapter left to write so...not a good combo. But hey! I wrote it, it's here, the clock hasn't struck midnight so Cinderella has not failed to make it home, and we are all alive!
> 
> That was probably not the best metaphor ever but I'm a little frazzled right now. XD This chapter isn't fully edited yet, so let me know if you see any problems that I can fix afterwards! That would be super helpful!
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy it! <3

“A whole week, I left that man alone.” Izaya grumbled, glaring at the phone in his lap like it had personally offended him. “An entire week where I did absolutely nothing evil to him whatsoever, and how does he repay me? By not giving me a single hint as to what is going to happen next, that’s how!”

Shizuo sighed from his place on the couch beside the irate raven, patting his head comfortingly. “Don’t worry about it.” The blonde tried to reassure him. “He wasn’t supposed to even give you a hint anyway. You not doing anything to him was supposed to be in exchange for his lack of a cliffhanger last week. He’s already done his part of the deal.”

“But I was such an angel!” Izaya protested, crossing his arms and scowling spitefully at the gently glowing screen, Shichi’s number already typed in and ready to go. “I should get something else for behaving so well.”

“You aren’t five, Izaya.” Shizuo reminded him, pulling out the short list of questions they had prepared for Shichi. “So just relax, okay? And we need to get moving with this thing so that we can answer some of the questions that we have on here, not to mention any questions that the readers may have.”

“We can only answer like, one every Friday.” Izaya grumbled as he glared at his phone, red eyes still filled with anger. “It’ll be hard doing that.”

“Well, we can try anyway.” Shizuo reminded him, poking the smaller man in the side. “And besides, Shichi might do a time skip at some point because he doesn’t want us hearing all the exact details about his “previous job”. Right?”

“Hmm…” Izaya hummed, his thumb hovering over the green button that would send them spiraling into another episode at any minute. “I suppose you’re right…but still. This is going to take a long time.”

“There’s no denying that.” Shizuo agreed, holding up his own phone in front of them and opening the camera. “Which is why we need to get started as soon as possible.”

Shizuo hit the start button on his video and smiled, waving a little bit at the camera lens. “Hello and welcome to another episode of “Shichi’s Adventures in Russia”.” He chattered out the familiar lines. “As usual, I’m your host Heiwajima Shizuo, here with my lovely partner Orihara Izaya.”

“You don’t say that line too often.” Izaya hissed, but he waved at the camera when his name was spoken nonetheless.

“Today we’ll be going into the next phase of Shichi’s life.” Shizuo continued as Izaya hit the green button and held his phone to his ear, waiting for his father to pick up on the other side. “Episode Seven: The Bear’s Next Step.”

Izaya nodded as Shichi picked up on the other end and Shizuo nodded back, waiting for the story to continue.

“Hey Dad.” Izaya said, tapping his fingers on his hip as he spoke. “You didn’t give me any hints, for which I am very bitter, but Shizu-chan just wants me to move along so I will. Here’s my question: what happened after that day in the shower…”

***

Shichi’s life, of course, got worse after that day in the shower.

When he came down for breakfast the next morning, a sleepy Vorona in tow, he saw the usual members of the family already seated at the massive table and ready to eat. There was Semyon, with the massive plate of fish that he always seemed to be trying to make into sushi every day. There was Denis, with a perfectly normal Russian breakfast of syrniki (cheese dumplings) and kolbasa (sausage). There was Vorona’s father Drakon with his typical diet of syrniki and semolina porridge. Then there were Shichi and Vorona’s places at the table, already laid out with their typical meals: Russian blinis (pancakes) with raspberry jam and some syrniki on the side for Vorona and some good old fashioned Cheerios for Shichi.

Now this would have been all well and good on a normal day. Shichi had gotten used to the “silently-judging-you” looks from Denis that he got over his chosen breakfast, and the cheerful chatter that Semyon always made which seemed to revolve around an inherent love for Japanese sushi and usually ended up with him trying to convince Shichi to turn his fish into proper Japanese sushi for him. Since Shichi was Japanese he was, naturally, an expert at making sushi. In Semyon’s mind, anyway.

Which was not actually true at all in the real world but hey. Shichi could let the guy dream and simply refuse him each time he asked.

Drakon had pretty much stopped sending him suspicious glances all the time and actually seemed to like him quite a bit since he got along so well with Vorona. Shichi was able to actually get her up and dressed in the morning, not to mention bring her down in time to eat breakfast with her father, which were all huge pluses that Drakon saw in keeping Shichi around. He would even sometimes smile at Shichi when he saw the teenage boy help Vorona with either cutting her food or getting her into her still-too-large chair.

Then there was Vorona herself, and she absolutely adored Shichi in every way imaginable. She called him almost exclusively by the title of “big brother” now, and she hugged him at every chance she got. She also practiced her future career as a koala by hanging off him whenever he walked around, usually to signify that she wanted to play.

The child was utterly adorable, but very heavy. Those koala rides were always a struggle between the limits of Shichi’s body and the morals he had about dumping small children on the floor. Typically, his morals won.

He was probably going to have back problems in the future.

At any rate, this typical crowd of five was the one that Shichi was now used to. He would have been absolutely fine with it that morning, even if he hadn’t slept too well the night before due to the feeling of a certain someone’s lips continuously rising up in his mind and preventing actual sleep from coming to him. But today, it was not that typical crowd which was greeting him.

Sure, all the regular members of it were there, but a sixth person had joined them for breakfast that day.

He ate from a plate of food identical to Vorona’s (except everything was in much larger portions) and he wore a sharp black business suit as though he was going somewhere important after this. The tip of a tattoo poked out over his shirt collar, looking quite a bit like the head of a lynx, and his eyes were a warm, twinkling blue color. His lips – damn those horrid, horrid lips – were quirked up in a smile as he saw Shichi, practically daring him to come over and smack them right off his face.

“Well, good morning, Sleeping Beauty!” Kazimir (for who else could it be?) crowed, waving jauntily at Shichi as he stood at the foot of the stairs, looking at him in horror. “How did you sleep last night?”

“An excellent question, Kazimir.” Denis grumbled back, looking Shichi up and down criticizingly. “You look like you haven’t gotten a wink of sleep. In short: you look god-awful.” He said flatly.

Shichi scowled at him for that comment, perfectly aware of the bags hanging under his eyes like shadows of death itself, and dragged Vorona over to the table without a word, noticing with disdain that Kazimir had chosen to seat himself right beside where Shichi always sat.

The tall man had done that on purpose. Shichi was just certain of it.

“He does not.” Kazimir was saying to Denis, grinning at the man across from him as Shichi hefted Vorona into her seat and helped her settle in to eat breakfast. “He looks just as wonderful, beautiful, and elegant as ever.”

Wonderful? Beautiful? Elegant? Was there some other version of him running around that Kazimir had fallen madly in love with? It would explain a lot of the compliments Kazimir gave him which most certainly were not accurate. Much like this one.

“I do not look attractive right now.” Shichi muttered as he got into his own chair, stoutly refusing to look at Kazimir as he viciously scooped up some Cheerios from his bowl. “I look like the before picture in a make-up tutorial done on a man who hasn’t slept in eighty days and lived in the wild on his own for seventy-five of those days.”

Kazimir laughed at that, blue eyes still sparkling as he watched Shichi in delight. “You have got to be one of the most interesting people I have ever met.” The Russian purred, looking Shichi up and down with a wide grin. “I love talking to you.”

“Wish I could say the same.” Shichi responded, still not looking over as he continued to eat his Cheerios. “But I’m currently trying to plot your downfall so I wouldn’t want to talk to you so much as trick you into telling me all your weaknesses.”

At this statement, Drakon himself laughed from the head of the table, a smile filled with mirth directed right at Shichi as he scooped some porridge into his mouth.

“I knew I liked you.” The stoic man nodded approvingly as he ate. “I knew there was something about you that just seemed…Russian.”

_“You mean aside from the blonde hair, blue eyes, permanent scowl, and icy attitude that all Russians except for Kazimir seem to possess?”_ Shichi asked in his head. Aloud, he just said, “Thank you, sir. I always liked you, too. Except for the first few days that we knew each other. Because back then you were one scary weapons dealing dude.”  
Drakon laughed again, evidently quite pleased with Shichi’s bluntness, and looked the teenage boy up and down. “Yes…you seem like a Russian.” He nodded, chuckling a little. “And your Russian has improved greatly since coming here.” 

Shichi snorted at that. “No kidding. I only knew “spasibo” when I showed up and that was randomly picked up in the airport.” He muttered, shaking his head in embarrassment at his sheer lack of knowledge. Sure, he was certainly not fluent, and by no means could hold a regular conversation. In fact, a large majority of the conversation they were having now was in English with only some Russian sprinkled here and there. But thanks to Vorona, Shichi was definitely picking up some of the mysterious language and incorporating it into his daily speech.

Soon he would be trilingual with Japanese, English, and Russian. Now didn’t that just make him sound accomplished?

Too bad he was only that accomplished-sounding because he’d joined the mafia.

_“Well technically, I’m not in the mafia yet.”_ Shichi reminded himself as he took another bite of Cheerios. _“I haven’t actually done anything illegal, nor have I been let in on all of the illegal activities going on around. All I do is babysit the child and do some random chores around the house. That is my role. I am not a fully-fledged member of the Russian mafia.”_

“Shichi,” Drakon began, clearing his throat and wiping his mouth off with a napkin. “I think it’s time for you to become a fully-fledges member of the Russian mafia.”

…

Seriously?

Seriously universe?

The very _instant_ he thought of something good about his situation? The absolute _moment_ that he’d reminded himself of what kept his conscience clear every night? That was when you chose to take it away?

“Messed up.” Shichi muttered. “I revolt against the universe.”

“I brought it up to Drakon this morning.” Kazimir announced cheerfully, taking another bite of his blinis. 

“Should have known.” Shichi muttered, wondering what the guy _wouldn’t_ do to ruin his life in the future. He should probably stop him before that happened. Either by stopping Kazimir’s future (also known as killing him) or just discouraging him from interacting in Shichi’s (also known as screwing up his life so badly he wouldn’t want to come near Shichi again).

“He agreed with me.” Kazimir continued, unaware of Shichi’s vengeful train of thought. “You’ve shown unparalleled skill in taking care of Vorona and handling whatever tasks we put before you. Those things combined are no easy tasks.”

“You’re telling me.” Shichi rolled his eyes, glaring pointedly at Vorona while she happily shoveled jam into her mouth. “Sometimes I consider murder. It seems like an excellent solution to many of my problems.”

_“Including you.”_ Shichi added in his mind as he reached over to wipe some fallen jam from Vorona’s tiny chin.

“Well that’s just fantastic, then!” Kazimir laughed in delight, looking over at Drakon with a grin. “See? I told you the opening would work out!”

“Opening?” Shichi repeated, his mind snapping back to what the original topic of this conversation was as a dreadful feeling filled his gut. “W-What opening?”

“The opening Kazimir has found for you within his branch of the mafia.” Drakon clarified, drinking smoothly from a cup of coffee. “Even though you still have a few days left on your time here, I think you’ve proved that you will pass my little test already, and openings such as these fill quickly.”

“I got the news of it ahead of time since I’m the mafia lawyer.” Kazimir added on, ruffling around in a briefcase sitting by his feet that Shichi hadn’t noticed before. “As a matter of fact, I get news of almost everything ahead of time since I’m the mafia lawyer. The lawyer needs to know what’s going on so that he can defend people properly, right?”

“Why couldn’t I have been born as a toothbrush?” Shichi wondered aloud in response, staring up at the ceiling of the mansion miserably. “I would much prefer the life of a toothbrush to this.”

“You could be _my_ toothbrush.” Kazimir whispered in his ear, so low that only Shichi could hear it. “I would love to put you in my mouth every morning and night.”

Shichi’s face flamed red (as it seemed to do quite often whenever the idiot opened his mouth and spoke to him) and he quickly scooted his chair away from Kazimir, merely shooting him a vicious glare in response that would have melted the guy’s face off if Shichi had known how to do that.

Kazimir chuckled at his rejection and continued to rummage around for a bit, eventually pulling out a small stack of papers and setting it on the table.

“This here,” Kazimir began. “Is a stack of employment papers for our dear little Shichi here. He doesn’t have to fill out them all: I’ve already handled his background checks and security clearance forms and whatnot. He simply needs to fill out this one on top and turn it in to me.”

Kazimir passed over the small sheet of paper and Shichi quickly examined it, noticing right off the bat how normal this one page seemed. It had regular things like lists for references and previous work experience, questions about how much money he was willing to work for and when he was able to work, and mostly things like that.

Shichi looked over suspiciously at Kazimir, wondering how such a normal form could have slipped into the hands of someone so messed up in the head, and Kazimir swiftly caught the look out of the corner of his eye.

“The Russian mafia is still a business enterprise that hires employees, just like any legal endeavor.” The man said smoothly, looking over at Shichi with a smile. “So yes Shichi, we do have regular employee application forms.“

“Hmph.” Shichi huffed in response, looking back down at the sheet with a frown. “What is this “opening” that I’m even applying for?” He asked, wondering if it was too late now to escape back to Japan. Sure, he wanted to find his parents, but he wanted to meet them while he was alive…he wasn’t too keen on the meeting-in-the-afterlife scenario. “I don’t want to do anything too dangerous and freaky. I’m a total amateur.”

“Don’t worry.” Kazimir said casually, taking another bite of blinis. “They’ll give you proper training so that you can end up as the best possible version of yourself.”

_“Proper training?”_ Shichi wondered in his head, that feeling in his gut beginning to flare and spread as his leg started tapping nervously on the floor. What sort of sketchy job had he gotten himself into that required proper training?”

“All you have to do is fill out that application and your two weeks here are over.” Kazimir said happily. “Then you officially join the mafia.”

“What if,” Shichi said slowly, trying to think of a way to get out of this that didn’t end in his utter destruction. “I didn’t want to join the mafia…exactly.” This last part was thrown hurriedly on when every member of the room looked up at him, most in confusion, one in delight.

“Well in that case,” Kazimir purred, scooting his chair after Shichi’s and resting a gentle yet teasing hand on his thigh. “We can find another way for you to make some money with us. Like, for instance,” He leaned in, letting his lips brush over Shichi’s ear as he said, “You could be my maid.”

Shichi immediately retaliated out of instinct. It was pure instinct! Survival stuff, really. Fight or flight! He had no control over the actions he took!

At least…that was what he told himself…and what he hoped he could use in court later once he was inevitably sued.

Upon Kazimir’s latest flirt, Shichi immediately chucked all of his remaining cereal into the man’s face, milk splashing over the expensive suit and Cheerios sticking to the handsome features.

Everyone stared in shock at the man for a good long while, no one moving, everyone trying to comprehend the suicidal action Shichi had just taken.

“Oh God.” Shichi whispered to himself, slowly putting his bowl back down as he watched tiny streams of milk creep their way down Kazimir’s unmoving face. “I…I meant to do that but…I’m sorry?”

Yeah, that apology could’ve gone better. Like for example, if he’d actually been sorry about what he’d done. Maybe it would have come out more genuine if he hadn’t been looking forward to seeing Kazimir’s face covered in something that Shichi had thrown at him, or if he hadn’t spent so much of his time daydreaming about ruining Kazimir’s life.

But he had done those things and so…the only thing Shichi really felt sorry about was that he was now going to die. But in a way, seeing Kazimir’s face like this almost made that fate worth it. Almost.

“So…” Shichi said slowly, his eyes flicking up and down the still unmoving Kazimir’s body. “I’ll just…move out now. Before I die.”

He stood up to go but a large hand latched onto his wrist, stopping him dead in his tracks.

“Hold on just a moment.” Kazimir’s voice said calmly, almost too calmly for Shichi to believe it was actually Kazimir speaking. “I believe we have some unfinished business to settle here.”

Shichi gulped, already feeling the fear begin creeping down his spine. A member of the mafia was saying they had unfinished business with him. That scenario could only end in so many ways.

“I-It was just a joke.” Shichi tried weakly, pulling his arm in vain against the strength of Kazimir. “I mean…I really did want to hurl something in your face for a while but that doesn’t mean it isn’t a joke!”

“Oh I know.” Kazimir responded, still using that abnormally calm voice that creeped Shichi out so much. “I know, my darling sunflower. And I’m just going to give you a joke in return.”

“Wha-” Shichi started to say, moments before the remainder of the raspberry-jam lathered pancakes slammed into his face.

Shichi stayed frozen in place, trying to comprehend the sticky mess now coating all of his skin, as Kazimir busted out laughing.

“Oh my god!” The Russian cackled. _“Вы выглядите настолько глупыми (Vy vyglyadite nastol'ko glupymi!/You look so stupid!)!”_

_“Заткнись(Zatknis!/Shut up!)!”_ Shichi snapped in response, wiping the raspberry jam off his face and lunging at Kazimir with bared teeth. He intentionally grabbed the fancy suit with his raspberry-coated hands, making sure it got worked in there nicely as he shook the still-laughing man back and forth. _“Как ты смеешь! Ты глупый (Kak ty smeyesh'! Ty glupyy!/How dare you! You stupid oaf!)!”_ He yelled, not even realizing just how much Russian was spewing out of his mouth as he tried his best to get the big brute to stop laughing. _“Я ненавижу малину(Ya nenavizhu malinu!/I hate raspberries!)!”_

“Shichi.” Drakon called from the front of the table.

Shichi ignored the man (probably not a good idea in hindsight) in favor of smacking Kazimir over and over upside his head. _“Заткнись(Zatknis!/Shut up!)!”_ He snapped again. _“Заткнись(Zatknis!)! Заткнись(Zatknis!)!Заткнись(Zatknis!)!”_

_“Нет (Net/No).”_ Kazimir said cheerfully. _“Вы слишком смешны и симпатичны (Vy slishkom smeshny i simpatichny./You are way too funny and cute.).”_

At this remark, Shichi gave a full-on screech of defiance, ready to tackle this guy to the ground and have an all-out brawl – no matter the size difference – until a loud bang rang out in the dining room.

Shichi looked over in shock and saw Denis, aiming a pistol at the ceiling, a few flakes of it falling around his expressionless face. “Sit down and shut up.” The man said calmly in English, nodding at the both of them. “Now.”

Semyon looked disapproving of the damage that had been done to the ceiling in the name of peace but he nevertheless agreed with his friend. “Fighting is very bad for you.” He said in heavily accented English, nodding gravely at the two of them. “Both stop and make friendship.”

“I refuse to make a ship of friendliness with this guy.” Shichi said instantly, face still dripping with the hated raspberry sauce, as Kazimir snickered beside him.

“Why not? You look great.” The Russian lawyer commented, clearly trying his best to keep from bursting out laughing when Shichi shot him an evil glare.

“Shichi sit down with Vorona.” A tiny voice commanded, sounding whiny and upset at having been forgotten for so long. “Before Shichi gets in trouble.”

Shichi looked over guiltily at the small child pouting in the seat beside him, her violet eyes clouded by discontent as she waited for him to pay attention to her again. She had apparently been struggling to reach her glass of milk, pushed far towards the center of the table as it was, and had not been particularly pleased by her favorite person not even noticing her mighty battle.

“Here you go, Vorona.” Shichi sighed, leaning over and pushing the milk glass towards the now-happy toddler. “Sorry I forgot.”

“Now sit.” Vorona ordered, pointing with a firm nod at his seat and taking a sip of her recently acquired milk.

Shichi smiled despite himself at the commanding little girl and sat down beside her, grabbing a napkin to begin cleaning raspberries off his face.

“Well, now that that’s settled.” Drakon cleared his throat from the front of the table, looking at Shichi with a clearly amused expression on his face despite the fact that Shichi had essentially just attacked his lawyer.

Drakon’s gaze moved over to Kazimir as the huge man hummed and cleaned himself off, tutting when he saw the raspberries on his suit and attempting to clean those as best as he could.

“Still want to accept this boy into your branch?” Drakon asked in a tone with barely hidden amusement, practically smirking at Kazimir as the huge man attempting to make himself presentable once more.

Kazimir looked up briefly at Drakon and grinned, nodding his head with that warm sparkle back in his eyes once more. “You bet.” He said firmly, rubbing a napkin over the material as he said so. “I wouldn’t take anyone else in his place.”

“Well you better! Because I’m not joining the mafia! No way, no how!” Shichi snapped, crossing his arms and glaring fiercely at Kazimir. “And that’s final!”

“Are you certain, Shichi?” Drakon asked next, taking a bite of his porridge and watching the teenage boy carefully. “That would mean living here for the rest of your time in Russia, working for no money at all, and acting as Vorona’s babysitter for eternity. Well, until she doesn’t need you anymore and we’re forced to kick you out.”

Shichi stared at the blunt man watching him across the table, waiting to see even a flickering trace of a joke in the guy’s face, or hear a humor-filled inflection in his voice. He got…nothing. Drakon wasn’t kidding at all. He would freely kick Shichi out once Vorona didn’t need him anymore. Which, if her current progress level was anything to go by, was not very far away.

How was that for job security?

Shichi scowled and looked over at Kazimir with an evil glare, icy blue eyes clashing with that stupidly attractive twinkle.

He tried to think of something else, _anything_ else, that he could do to make money. Some kind of job that was not illegal, paid enough for him to make a living, allowed him the freedom to search for his parents, and didn’t mind his non-Russian-citizen status and poor Russian speaking skills (aside from on-the-spot insults). A job that he could get right away without being able to communicate fully with his employers and that would preferably offer him room and board to boot. Or at least be close enough to very cheap apartments that he could live in for an undetermined amount of time.

Yeah…

He couldn’t come up with a single thing.

“In this mafia position…” Shichi began begrudgingly, glaring as hard as he could as Kazimir before letting his eyes flick down to look at the paper Kazimir had pushed in front of him. “It doesn’t involve anything…too illegal, right?”

Kazimir chuckled at that, handing Shichi a pen for him to begin filling things out and giving him a mysterious smile. “Only if you don’t have me backing you up in court, my darling.” He purred, blue eyes twinkling.

Shichi paused at that, looking down at the pen skeptically. He felt like he was signing away his soul. Entering some new realm of the world that he’d been brought up to avoid at all costs. But…everything just went back to his inability to find any other kind of job here in Russia. This was, without a doubt, his best option.

Even if it wasn’t entirely legal.

“I better not be killing anybody.” Shichi muttered as he grabbed the pen and started scrawling things down as fast as he could, before he changed his mind and actually thought through his actions.

Kazimir smiled as he watched Shichi scribble through the sheet, signing furiously at the bottom before thrusting the paper over to Kazimir with an almost challenging look in his icy eyes. That look said, “Take it”. That look said, “I dare you”. That look said, “I’m ready for whatever you throw at me next”.

Kazimir loved that look.

With his usual smile, the mafia’s lawyer took the paper from Shichi’s outstretched hand and slipped it into his briefcase along with the other papers, snapping it shut with a firm click before looking back up at Shichi again.

“Congratulations, Shichi.” He said cheerfully. “You’re a fully-fledged member of the Russian mafia. You start your training tomorrow.”

***

_“Izaya…I know you’re gonna hate me for cutting it off there but…”_ Shichi said slowly on the other end of the line, almost sounding like he was afraid of what Izaya’s reaction would be.

“You can’t stop there!” Izaya shrieked, glaring at the phone for probably the millionth time in barely seven weeks. “I need to hear more! It’s not as bad as some of your other cliffhangers, but I still need to hear more!”

_“I’m sorry Izaya, but I really am tired.”_ Shichi insisted, holding back a yawn on the other side of the phone. _“It’s late and I have to go to bed. Can you let this one go just this one time? Please?”_

Izaya grunted and grumbled on his side of the phone, clearly trying to decide what to do, until Shizuo snatched the device right out of his hand and put it to his own ear.

“He’ll let it go.” The blonde promised as Izaya began to protest madly in the background. “Get some sleep, Shichi.”

_“Thanks, Shizuo.”_ Shichi sighed gratefully through the speakers. _“I knew there was a reason I didn’t hate you completely.”_

Before Shizuo could respond to that, the line went dead, and Izaya snatched the phone away from his freakishly tall boyfriend.

“Aw!” Izaya whined as he looked at the “call ended” text blinking on his screen. “He already hung up!”

“What did you expect? The guy’s tired.” Shizuo defended his father-in-law, although he was still trying to figure out exactly what that last line had meant. “And he’s right, you know. It really is getting late. We should head to bed.”

Izaya glared at his boyfriend for a little bit but a quick glance at the clock reading 11:39 changed his mind.

“Fine.” The raven sighed, slipping his phone into his pocket and plopping down on the couch. “Let’s get this exit thing over with.”

Shizuo nodded and held up his own phone, giving it a short wave. “We hope you enjoyed this episode of “Shichi’s Adventures in Russia”.” He said casually. “Please join us next time for Episode Eight: The Bear’s Rival.”

“See you there!” Izaya called, waving at the camera before Shizuo put it down.

They sat there for a bit on the couch, just letting their exhaustion hit them like sledgehammers.

“Why do you think there will be a rival?” Izaya eventually asked into the silence. “What clue did you have?”

Shizuo shrugged. “Just seemed like a good point for a rival to show up.” He admitted. “I hope there ends up being one.”

“Me too.” Izaya sighed. “And I want more Kazichi scenes.”

“I’m sure Erika does too.” Shizuo said with a smirk, just thinking of all the crazy drawings that girl probably had pegged all around her room. “Maybe she’ll get more soon.”

“We can always hope for good couple scenes.” Izaya sighed, snuggling against his boyfriend and closing his eyes.

Shizuo looked down at Izaya and smiled, running his fingers easily through the raven hair. “Yeah.” He agreed, kissing the top of the smaller man’s head gently. “We can always hope.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aw, that was a cute last scene. And oooooh, Shichi's finally joining the mafiaaaa. What on earth will happen next?! No one knows! And who is this mysterious rival of his? Does he even exist or is Shizuo just making things up? When will Shichi realized that he just agreed to become an assassin? Will Kazimir keep flirting with him nonstop even if they work together now? So many questions that I have to come up with answers to! XD
> 
> Anyway, I hope you liked the chapter even though it's a bit of a slow transition chapter. I'm planning on making the next one jump into some more action but we'll see how that goes. Thanks so much for your patience while I got this chapter up! I love you all! I will see you next Friday! <3


	9. The Bear's Rival (Конкуренция медведя)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So guys...wanna hear something fun about today? It's great! Really! Well, great for you guys anyway...sort of.
> 
> So I'm going on a family trip for four days, and our flight leaves today. Well, I had work today so I went and timed out early then headed straight home to pack and go to the airport. Now I did not have today's chapter finished this morning - only started - and so I was counting on getting on the plane on time, landing at our lovely destination, and then finding time for myself quickly enough to finish it and post it up. It would've been posted prooobably just a few hours after I usually post. Pretty late, but not so bad overall.
> 
> Here's the thing: my flight got delayed! Delayed by two hours, actually. I am currently sitting in the airport, waiting for my flight, and I used this time to finish the chapter and get it up online. So yay for you guys! You get the chapter only a little late this time, and earlier than planned, thanks to some unexpected weather changes! Three cheers, confetti, and all that!
> 
> In any case, I haven't edited this chapter just yet so if you see something wrong, please let me know! I hope you enjoy it despite that! See you at the end! <3

“It’s Friiiiday! It’s Friiiiiday!” Izaya sang, dancing around the living room happily. “Do you know what that means, my lovely Shizu-chan?”

“We get to find out if my guess about Shichi having a rival is actually correct?” Shizuo asked, already getting both phones set up in the corner – one for the camera and one for the call.

“Exactly!” Izaya crowed, pointing a triumphant finger at his boyfriend. “And we just get to hear more embarrassing stories about my father.”

“Oh the joys of having you for a son.” Shizuo laughed, shaking his head at Izaya’s antics as the raven came over to him with a pout.

“Excuse you, but I am a wonderful son.” He muttered, crossing his arms with a huff.

“Oh yeah. Real wonderful.” Shizuo said sarcastically, rolling his eyes at the statement. “So wonderful that you pull pranks which border on illegal crimes whenever your father upsets you and harass him every Friday with a phone call demanding knowledge about things that he’s clearly been trying to keep secret for a while.”

“Need I remind you that you are the one who suggested those calls.” Izaya pointed out, poking Shizuo’s cheek playfully. “My budding evil mastermind.”

Shizuo scowled at this, waving a dismissive hand in the air despite the blush forming on his cheeks. “Not the point, nor the truth of what’s happening here.” He muttered, clicking start on his phone’s camera. “Now let’s begin. I'm freaking tired because I spent so long studying just now for that exam I have tomorrow.”

“I offered to help you study earlier, you know.” Izaya reminded the blonde, giving him a smug smirk. “If you would have just listened to me, we wouldn’t be pressed for time like this.”

“Just shut up and call your dad while I do the intro!” Shizuo snapped, glaring at his boyfriend briefly before sighing and turning to face the camera. “Hey everybody. It’s me again…okay, we’re just going to get started with this right away. Welcome to this week’s episode of “Shichi’s Adventures in Russia”!”

“Episode Eight: The Bear’s Rival.” Izaya called over his shoulder in the background, phone ringing in his hand.

Shizuo nodded and smiled at the camera. “Exactly. So let’s just sit back and watch the magic unfold.” He said.

Izaya nodded his agreement and then a bright light came into his eyes as the other end picked up. “Dad! Hi! So we’re pressed for time on this end and you already know why I’m calling, so I’m just going to ask you the question, okay? Okay! Here it is: what happened when you started work for the mafia…”

***  
What happened, you ask? Well children, let’s gather around and hear some good old tales of joy and friendship because after Shichi started work for the mafia, he met the first person who tried to kill him.

Oh. Did that not match up with the definitions of joy or friendship? His mistake. In that case, let’s just hear some tales about hatred and the burning desire for domination that people who become assassins seem to have. That sounds much better anyway, doesn’t it?

Shichi stood outside the doors to the “training room”, as Kazimir had been calling it, wondering just how he’d managed to sink so low in life in a mere two weeks.

“I went from being an average school boy to the babysitter of a weapon dealer’s daughter to a member of the Russian mafia in training.” Shichi said aloud, staring at the doors without moving. “And I still don’t even know what exactly I’m training to be.”

Kazimir hadn’t given him that helpful little tidbit of information when he dropped him off at this doors just one day after that fateful breakfast.

_“You’ll figure it all out eventually!”_ The large man had said with a cheerful grin. _“For now, just concentrate on surviving and doing the best you can. You don’t want to trouble your brain with any more than that right now. Love you, sweet cheeks! I’ll pick you up at five!”_

Shichi chose to ignore that last part for now and just focus on the fact that Kazimir was hiding the nature of the job from him because it would “trouble his brain”. That didn’t exactly boost his confidence about the morality of the thing he was signed up for.

Maybe he could still get out now. If he just managed to get away from the doors before anyone saw him standing here, he probably knew just enough Russian to pass as a foreigner of some kind who had grown up with one Russian parent. Maybe he could even get a legitimate job with that! Even though all the logic he’d run through at breakfast was still true and told him that this was his best option right now, the panic running through Shichi’s mind was still telling him to run away screaming from this door.

Yes. That was exactly what he would do. He’d just creep out now, before anyone saw him and-

“Who are you? What are you doing here?” A deep voice demanded in Russian, its owner stepping out of the double doors and looking at Shichi with a deep scowl.

Shichi jumped in place, absolutely terrified of those cold eyes raking over his body, and instantly babbled, “Suzuki Shichi! I was sent here by Drakon and Kazimir to train under some guy named…Egor? I think his name was Egor. Maybe it was Igor. Agor? Ogor? Iago? I don’t know! I’m here to train!”

Shichi flinched a little and leaned back from the man in the doorway, hoping that he wasn’t about to be slaughtered due to his sheer stupidity.

But the man watching him merely nodded and gestured for him to come inside, disappearing into the building himself.

Shichi stared after him for a few seconds, wondering what exactly had just happened. Was it…okay? Was he clear to head inside right now?

“I don’t know if I should do this.” Shichi muttered, glancing nervously over his shoulder at the snowy backdrop of the buildings in the distance. “I really don’t know if I should do this.”

But he’d already given the guy his name and told him why he was here. Plus, the dude seemed to recognize the names of the people who’d brought him to this entrance to hell (or “job opportunity”, as Kazimir had called it) and so he probably knew them. And if he knew Drakon and Kazimir, then he could simply tell them that Shichi had ran off after showing up for his lesson.

Shichi had no doubt that that freakish lynx Kazimir could track him halfway across Russia if need be. There was no point in taking the chance.

Shichi slowly stepped up to the double doors, pushing one aside and walking in after the man who had “greeted” him, hoping he wasn’t about to meet his maker.

Shichi glanced around the building he’d entered very briefly, noting how it seemed to be just one dark hallway that led up to another set of huge double doors, through which the man from the doorway was currently slipping, vanishing on the other side. Well…it looked like that was the way Shichi needed to go. Down the dark wooded floors around him, ignoring the obvious lack of lighting aside from a few creepy candles on the walls, and trying not to let his footsteps make too much noise even if the sound they gave off was mostly muffled by the rich carpet underfoot. Each second Shichi walked towards that door seemed to be another second that increased his already racing heart rate.

By the time Shichi reached the door at the end of the hallway, his heart was trying valiantly to escape his chest, and Shichi felt like he actually might pass out at any second. But did that stop him from grasping the handle of the door on the right and pulling it open to peek at where the man had gone?

No, of course it didn’t! Teenagers don’t have self-preservation skills! And you should know this by now: the universe does everything it can to make sure Shichi keeps driving himself into deeper and deeper states of misery, suffering, and failure.

“What trap do you have planned for me now?” Shichi muttered as he pulled open the door the entire way. “What fresh hell have you brought…upon…me…”

Shichi’s eyes widened as he stared at the room beyond the door. It was massive! It had swooping roofs that towered at least thirty feet above him, and it stretched away at least sixty. Its walls and floors were all crafted from the same dark wood that the hallway had been made of, and on the walls, large torches to match the creepy candles from the hallway provided light throughout it. They were accompanied by large fluorescent lights overhead (so maybe the torches were just for show in this room) that filled the whole place with bright light, somehow managing to make the room seem even more open and vast.

But the impressive size and lighting of the room wasn’t the part that was getting Shichi the most. No. That part had to be the hundreds of sets of “training” equipment spread all around the room.

There were big machines, little machines, machines that made Shichi doubt the very definition of the word “machine”, and anything you could imagine in between. He could see training dummies that actually moved and sparred with you. He saw strangely spiked pillars that spun around and no doubt tore flesh to shreds. He saw swinging chains and pendulums. He saw a weird bowl thing for balance. He saw a rotating carousel of wood that contained a different kind of training dummy around each corner. He saw a floor where daggers shot up out of it. He saw a weird area in the corner with a bunch of random items lying around a hunk of what looked like an actual human chest that Shichi dearly hoped was just a replica. There were hundreds of different kinds of weapons that lined one wall like a mini armory. Heck, he even saw a couple wild animals in cages attached to chains (very inhumane and the mere sight of it made Shichi sick to his stomach) waiting to be let out so they could fight.

This whole room…it was devoted to the art of battle.

“What…What is this place?” Shichi asked in awe, gawking at everything around him. “It all looks so intense.”

“It is not meant to be easy.” A different Russian voice replied brusquely, instantly dragging Shichi’s attention away from his surroundings and over to his right, where an extremely tall man was currently approaching him. 

This man was different than the one Shichi had seen just a few seconds ago (who had apparently vanished into thin air.). He had sharp grey eyes and light brown hair, which contrasted heavily with the typically blonde and blue-eyed Russians that Shichi had come across so far. Not quite as heavily as Semyon did…but that was besides the point. This man currently approaching him had an exceptionally cold look in his eyes – one that Shichi wished he could unsee – that made Shichi feel like he was being targeted and analyzed by this man right now, even as they spoke.

It was downright creepy.

“Uh…sup.” Shichi said lamely, turning to face the formidable man fully. “My name is Shichi. Drakon and Kazimir sent me here.”

The man looked Shichi up and down, that analytical gaze never leaving his cold grey eyes, and eventually nodded. “Yes. The foreigner entering my program.” The man said brusquely, his words seeming like less of a response to Shichi and more of him saying his thoughts aloud.

“Yeah, that’s me.” Shichi replied, unsure of what else he should do. “Um…where do I…start?”

Maybe he was some kind of janitor for the mafia? He needed to clean this entire training room every night or something? Because there was absolutely no way Shichi could actually have come here to train in this room. This looked like a room used to train deadly assassins or something! Shichi was no assassin! He was no fighter! He couldn’t do something like this, not in a million years!

Kazimir and Drakon wouldn’t send him into something like this without telling him about it first…or…wait, no they definitely would. Oh my god, they would totally send him to an assassin’s training camp without telling him! He was doomed!

_“Calm down, Shichi.”_ Shichi told himself quickly as his mind and heart both began to race with the possibilities of his next trial in life. _“The creepy, scary dude hasn’t said anything yet about killing or assassinating so there’s still a chance that you’re just some random janitor in training. Relax. Everything will be fine. Everything will turn out okay. You’re not here to be a killer.”_

“My name is Egor.” The tall man said with a slow smile. “I am a comrade of Semyon and Denis, and a close friend of Drakon.”

“Oh. Nice to meet you.” Shichi replied weakly, shifting nervously in place at the sight of that smile. The man seemed nice enough but…there was still something that was just off about him that Shichi couldn’t place.

“You have been sent here to train underneath me, and that speaks greatly for your talent and prowess.” Egor continued, calmly looking down at the palm of his hand as he opened and closed it slowly. “Not anyone makes it under my personal instruction.”

Well crap. Had Drakon and Kazimir started spreading rumors about Shichi that most certainly were not true? Because there was no way Shichi was qualified for this apparently exclusive training program, whatever it was. He was definitely a member of the “anyone” crowd, as Egor called it, that was not supposed to be here at all.

Should he say something? Should he tell the man? Maybe this Egor person was really very merciful and would let him go.

“I am known as the seventh deadliest man in Russia.” Egor said aloud, still smiling that creepy smile at Shichi. “The Philosophical Murder Machine. I am a top assassin who has never failed an assignment with close ties to the mafia and other freelance clients, and you are here to learn to be just like me.”

…

Well Shichi was fucked.

“A-Assassin?” Shichi repeated with a gulp, just to make sure he had heard that right.

Egor nodded, crossing his arms and looking Shichi up and down. “Yes. An assassin.” He said smoothly, grey eyes just as cold as before, but somehow even more terrifying. “Now come, Shichi. You must begin your examination.”

Oh no. Oh no, no, no, no, no way in hell!

“I-I really think I should go-” Shichi started to say, creeping slowly back towards the door he’d foolishly entered.

“Come.” Egor commanded harshly, his hand gripping Shichi’s wrist and pulling him along into the training room. “You have no choice in these matters anymore. You belong to me.”

B-B-B-Belong?!

Had Drakon and Kazimir sold him to this guy?!

Shichi could feel the panic spiking in his body like never before as Egor dragged him down into the pit of training equipment from the raised platform that he’d been observing it from. The deadly assassin weaved easily through the machines of death all around him, Shichi being helplessly pulled along behind him as he tried not to touch anything.

Egor seemed to not notice (or more likely, not care) about Shichi’s difficulties in following him and simply kept marching, eyes focused ahead, heading for some certain destination that Shichi knew nothing about.

He said nothing to Shichi the entire way, only let the poor teenager panic and freak out as the truth of his doom slowly sank into every fiber in his being, until they reached a door on the side of the room. Here, Egor paused and looked at Shichi with those cold grey eyes, placing a calming hand on Shichi’s shoulder even as his other remain firmly gripped around Shichi’s wrist.

“Relax, my cub.” He said soothingly, patting Shichi’s shoulder a few times. “There are only three trainees besides you that I have accepted. They will watch your examination with great interest, as will I, but it will only be us watching you.”

_“That doesn’t make me feel any better, Mr. Philosophical Murder Machine!”_ Shichi practically screamed in his head as he stared up at Egor. These thoughts were quickly followed by the question, _“And why the hell am I a cub?”_

Egor did not wait for a response from Shichi before turning and opening the door they had arrived at, shoving Shichi into the room beyond it just as forcefully as he’d dragged him through the training area.

Shichi yelped as he stumbled into a small wooden room, looking around himself fearfully to try and figure out exactly what was going to happen to him. But he saw…nothing.

It was just an empty room, with no windows and only one door. One of the wooden walls did have a large panel in it that was a slightly different color than the others, but that was all. He turned around to look at Egor in confusion and saw the man smiling creepily at him.

“Your training mates will be watching from behind that panel.” The assassin announced, pointing at the oddly colored wood in the wall that Shichi had noticed. “Try not to embarrass yourself. They like to pounce on weakness.”

“Oh. Lovely.” Shichi responded weakly, looking around at the rest of the empty room. “And um…what exactly am I supposed to do now?”

“Simple.” Egor said, reaching inside the trench coat he was wearing and pulling a strange box out of it. He set the box on the ground and gestured towards it, still smiling that creepy smile at Shichi. “Fight me using whatever is in the box.”

Shichi nearly died just then.

“Excuse me?!” The boy shrieked, feeling like he was going to choke out of shock as he stumbled away from the man who’d proclaimed himself to be the seventh deadliest man in Russia. His icy blue eyes were wide as he looked the smiling man up and down, trying to figure out if this was a joke. “I can’t fight you!”

“Why not?” Egor asked calmly. “Are you afraid of something!”

“Hell yes, I am!” Shichi yelled back, his fists balling up as he glared at the tall assassin. “I’m afraid of getting either mauled beyond recognition and normal human function or murdered in my late teens! Neither of those options sounds very appealing, so excuse me for being a little hesitant here!”

Egor watched Shichi for a few seconds…and then busted out laughing. He wrapped his arms around his stomach, clearly finding great joy in Shichi’s fear as he doubled over with amusement, guffawing at Shichi’s terrified defiance.

“My goodness, little cub!” The merciless assassin laughed, wiping some tears out of his grey eyes as he smiled widely at Shichi. “You are weak, but honest about this weakness. It is good to feel fear and apprehension towards enemies who may be out of your league.”

His grey eyes twinkled with delight as he gestured towards the tiny box on the ground, seemingly very eager for what he was about to ask Shichi next. “I ask you this now, little cub: what would you like to have in this box?”

Shichi blinked at the unusual question, his blue eyes slowly flicking down to look at the innocuous box lying at Egor’s feet. It truly was a tiny box, maybe three inches by three inches, and it couldn’t possibly hold much in it…if it even held something at all.

“What do you mean?” Shichi asked, looking back up at the smiling man with suspicion. “Isn’t there something inside that I have to fight with already?”

“I’m not asking you about what is inside.” Egor responded simply, still gesturing towards the box. “I’m asking what you would like to be in here. If you could fit anything in this box to fight me with, what would it be?”

Shichi paused, his mind racing with possibilities. If he could fit anything he wanted? Well, his first inclination was to say a massive freaking gun that could blast this guy into next Christmas. But…he didn’t know how to use a gun so that would be essentially pointless in his hands. It seemed simple enough – lift, aim, pull trigger – but he was certain there was more to it that he didn’t know about. A gun was a stupid idea. And a knife, which was his second inclination, would be just as stupid. Yes, he knew how to use a knife, but he was positive that Egor could disarm him in two seconds and castrate him with his own weapon before he even blinked. Weapons seemed pretty much pointless for Shichi right now.

And he doubted Egor was looking for an answer like a dinosaur or a wizard. It had to be something real, and something that could really help Shichi out. Something he knew how to use, even if he didn’t have a lot of experience with it, that would give him some kind of edge in a fight against a professional assassin.

Shichi stared at the little box for a few seconds longer, practically hearing the time tick by in his own ears, and then it hit him.

He looked up at Egor, meeting the smiling man eye-to-eye, and said, “A phone.”

Egor blinked at this, cocking his head with a slightly sly smile. “A phone?” He repeated, accent as thick as the mystery surrounding his intentions. “How will you ground a phone in a box?”

“I’d like to pack one of those new portable ones. The ones that look like bricks.” Shichi explained, looking back down at the tiny box on the floor. “I would want a portable phone so that I can call assassins that would stand a good chance against you when they team up. Or maybe one of the six men who are deadlier than you…if they pick up.”

Egor nodded approvingly, looking Shichi up and down with a new light in his eyes. “Fascinating.” He purred, seeming even happier now than he had before. “I’ve never had a student who selected something so smart.”

Now that did make Shichi feel a little bit better about himself, and he almost straightened up to his full height instead of the kicked puppy position. Until Egor added on, “Of course, I would have killed you long before you could have the call go through so that would be pointless anyway.”

Shichi deflated instantly, glaring at the tall man with a small pout. “I thought it was a great idea.” He muttered, crossing his arms with a huff.

“Oh, it was.” Egor promised him, bending over to pick up the little box from the floor. “Most students ask for weapons, which I then provide them with, and find that they made quite poor choices. You might have had a chance with your strategy. If you ran away fast enough while calling, naturally.”

Shichi winced a little at that, thinking about how the fastest he had ever run was when it was pizza day at school, and beyond that he just stayed indoors all day.

He…wasn’t the most “athletic” person on the planet. But that was nothing to be ashamed of so don’t judge him!

“Since you didn’t pick a weapon that would begin an immediate sparring match,” Egor was saying, dragging Shichi’s attention back up to him. The assassin examined his little box and then slipped it back inside his coat, turning another creepy smile on Shichi. “We shall just have to spar hand-to-hand, little cub. So I can get a feel for your abilities.”

“Which are nonexistent.” Shichi said instantly, staring Egor right in the eyes. “Just so you know. I have none of these “abilities” of which you speak. I can’t even touch my toes without throwing out my back.”

Egor chuckled again, readying himself into some kind of lowered stance, grey eyes locking on Shichi. “Just try your best.” The Russian suggested casually, nodding for him to get ready.

Shichi gulped and then crouched a little lower to the ground, in what was pretty much the position for a goalie in soccer (the only sports position he even remotely recognized) and got ready to die.

It took maybe…one second.

For that one second, Egor was standing in that slightly lowered position in front of him, counting down on his fingers to the time that that would start. For that one second, Shichi saw Egor’s fingers go to zero and he prepared himself to try and intercept the assassin’s attack.

And then he was on his back, a hand at his throat pinning him to the floor, a knife poking his belly, and a smiling Russian hovering over him.

“W-What?” Shichi croaked, his breathing and voice both constricted by the hand clamped around his throat. “How did you…move so fast?”

“Extremely difficult training.” Egor replied, getting off Shichi and hauling him up to his feet with a smile. “Which you will now undergo as well. Congratulations, little cub.”

“Why do you keep calling me that?” Shichi asked aloud, trying to ignore the fear filling his body at Egor’s words. He was going to train to be an assassin. He absolutely sucked at all things physical, violent, or confrontational beyond verbal brawls of sass and sarcasm, and he was about to begin “extremely different training” to be an assassin.

Once again…the universe hated him.

“Come, little cub.” Egor said kindly, taking Shichi’s arm and leading him out of the room. “You must now meet your classmates.”

And it was there, in that very training room, that Shichi met the person who would come to be his rival. His most hated enemy. The one who tried to destroy him more than anyone else. The one who hated him simply because the teacher liked him more. The worst person in the world.

Valeriya Spasky. The biggest bitch in Russia.

And Shichi’s future girlfriend.

***

_“Don’t hate me, don’t hate me, don’t hate me, don’t hate me, please don’t hate me!”_ Shichi chanted repeatedly on the other end, the fear in his voice obvious even to Shizuo from a few feet away.

“Are you seriously stopping at that?! Did you not learn any lessons from last time?!” Izaya screeched, his free hand gripping his raven hair like he was ready to yank it out at any second.

_“It’s not that! I learned my lesson! I swear!”_ Shichi said frantically on the other end, his words followed swiftly by a loud crashing sound.

_“DADDY!”_ They could hear a new voice scream through the speaker. _“DADDY, KURU-NEE AND ME ARE FIGHTING! FIX IT!”_

Shichi sighed heavily, the sound rattling the speakers as a testament to what the poor man was going through at that moment. _“As I’m sure you can tell now, the girls started fighting.”_ Shichi said tiredly, the words bringing a scowl to Izaya’s face.

“Let them work it out on their own!” Izaya protested, gripping the phone tightly and glaring at the screen. “They’re big enough to start learning how to do that!”

_“Iza-chan, it’s bedtime for the two of them. And me.”_ Shichi started to explain on the other end. _“I just want this conflict to resolve as quickly as possible. And intervening is the quickest way to-“_

_“DADDY!”_ The other voice started screaming again. _“DADDY, THIS IS SERIOUS!”_

_“Shut up, you two! I’m saying goodnight to your brother!”_ Shichi yelled back in response, sighing once more before returning to his conversation with Izaya. _“Please, can we let the cliffhanger go this one time? You of all people know how long it takes to get them to settle down. Have mercy.”_

Izaya grumbled on the other end, looking like a cat that was being forced to take a bath, and his ruby eyes were clouded with indecision. But finally, he let out a sigh of his own and then looked at Shizuo with a pout. “I suppose you can go.” Izaya muttered, looking at his boyfriend for confirmation.

Shizuo smiled and held a thumbs-up, approving the decision.

Izaya nodded once in response and then spoke again to Shichi. “I won’t hold it against you this time. But next time I will if you do it again! Got it?”

_“Got it! Love you! Bye!”_ Shichi said hurriedly, hanging up the phone right as another scream of “DADDY” started up.

Izaya stood there with the phone for a few seconds before tossing it onto the couch and plopping down beside it. “Well, this just sucks.” He grumbled, crossing his arms and huffing unhappily. “Why do we have to wait so long?”

“It’s not that bad.” Shizuo soothed, kissing Izaya on the forehead. “Just hold on until Friday, okay? Shichi had a good reason this time.”

“Yeah well, he better not pull something like this next time.” Izaya growled, glaring at the phone as if to emphasize his point. “Or Operation Fluffles is back on.”

Shizuo chuckled at the mention of the name, ruffling his boyfriend’s raven hair. “Alright, alright. I’m sure he won’t. After everything you pulled last time, I’d be shocked if he so much as left us hanging without a detailed explanation of everything that will happen next.”

Izaya huffed out a laugh at this and then turned to grab Shizuo’s phone, holding it up in front of the both of them. “Let’s close out the show, okay?” He told the blonde, and Shizuo nodded in agreement, smiling at the camera.

“We hope you enjoyed this episode of “Shichi’s Adventures in Russia”!” Shizuo called with a bright smile.

“Please join us next time for Episode Nine: Cubs and Chicks!” Izaya declared, waving cheerfully at the camera. “Bye!”

“See you later!” Shizuo added before he ended the video.

Izaya stared at the phone for a while after the video had ended, no doubt thinking about how he would punish Shichi if he pulled a cliffhanger next time. Shizuo laughed a little at the thoughtful look in the raven’s eyes, kissing him once more on the forehead before standing up from the couch. “You can plot later ‘Zaya, okay? For now, let’s go to bed.”

“Hmm…” Izaya muttered, still evidently lost in thoughts of revenge as he stood up and looped one of his arms through Shizuo’s, pulling them both towards the bedroom. “Bed…snakes in beds…already done…oil in beds with fire…maybe…”

Shizuo rolled his eyes at the malicious mind his little raven had, closing the bedroom door behind them with a smile.

He loved that little demon so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update on my status at the airport: still waiting for the plane to arrive. XD But that's alright, because I managed to get everything ready in time to post! Sorry if it seems a little rushed or if the fight was anticlimactic: I promise that I'll be able to write more detailed fight scenes in the next chapter, and things will probably be better paced, too. 
> 
> In other news, I tried to find another female Russian in Durarara!! to be Shichi's rival...but I couldn't. They all seem to be male. And I used pretty much all of them at this point. So I have now created another new character! Eesh, I'm just racking up the OC's here, aren't I? I hope they all end up developed enough so that you guys don't think they ruin the flow of the story. 
> 
> Then again...this entire story is essentially about an OC isn't it...oh well. You know what I mean! Hope you don't mind the new OC! Can't wait to introduce her next week! And don't worry: we'll start having time skips soon so that we get to more of the big questions and see more about how Shichi's life plays out. The exposition of his first bit of time in Russia was just really important so I spent a few chapters on it.
> 
> And starting next week, my updates should go up at a more decent time since work is over. Thanks for being so patient, guys! I hope you continue to enjoy "Shichi's Adventures in Russia" and I will see you next week! <3


	10. Cubs and Chicks (Детеныши и цыплята)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the super early post today, guys! It was either a super early post that comes at like 5 am over here, or a super late post that may end up not even happening at all. See, my family has a big road trip right now (I feel like I've been doing way more this summer than I ever have before so go me!) because we're going up to see my little niece for her birthday! **~o((*^▽^*))o~** She's turning 2 years old. Yay! 
> 
> So anyway, we have to drive to a different state for that so I'll be in a car with no wifi connection all day tomorrow (why do all these trips seem to happen on Fridays? Why not Saturdays? Why is it always Fridays when I have updates to make?) and so I can't guarantee that I'll be able to make the post in the evening like usual. And for that reason, I got up super early today and posted this first thing so that it'll be here. Sorry about the weird timing guys! I just wanted it to be up for you all to read. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this story so loyally. You're all amazing! Okay, I'll see you at the end of the chapter! <3

“Today’s introduction has to be very brief today and we do apologize for that.” Izaya said bowing really quick to the camera that Shizuo had already set up on his phone. “To put it simply…well, if we’re being honest…see the thing is…”

Shizuo poked his head in front of the screen, staring right at the camera lens with his golden eyes, and said, “I’ve been wanting to go on a date with Izaya for a long time and the movie that we agreed to go see is only playing at one time right now and that time is dangerously close to when we normally end the call with Shichi.” He said flatly. “So we have to make the intro and exit as short as possible so that I have the time to take Izaya outside the college dorm and show him the love that I feel he deserves.”

“Shizu-chan!” Izaya snapped, his cheeks burning red with embarrassment as he looked at the camera nervously. “I thought we agreed that we didn’t need to tell them about our love life!”

“Well, you seemed a little flustered so I decided I would step in.” Shizuo said with a shrug, seeming pretty unapologetic as he handed Izaya’s phone to him. “Sorry. But that _is_ the reason why the segments with me and Izaya are going to be so short today.”

Izaya sighed, nodding at the camera as if to reaffirm Shizuo’s statement and then picked up his phone, frowning as he clicked on Shichi’s number and started the call. “Yep, that’s the reason why.” Izaya said aloud as the phone rang on the other end. “Because Shizu-chan insisted on taking me out on a date on Friday.”

“Don’t complain. You’re getting free sushi right afterwards.” Shizuo pouted, handing the clipboard of questions over to Izaya as the raven waited on the line.

“It’s not free. The money for it is coming out of our shared account for food.” Izaya muttered, right as the phone picked up on the other end. “Dad? Great, there you are. Yes. Yes, I forgave you for last time. No, I only planned what I would do if something like that happened this time, too. So we’ve gotta make this short…no reason…yes…why did you ask if you already knew?! Ugh, just get ready to answer some questions.”

Izaya huffed as he looked down at the clipboard to check where they left off and nodded once before returning his attention to the phone. “Right. So who is this female rival that you later dated? We don’t care about how your training went, we just want to know that…”

***

Shichi could tell that he hated the bitch two seconds after seeing her for the first time. It was a gift from above, really, his ability to see what utter jerks people were seconds before they opened their mouths.

“Hello.” The girl said in a thick Russian accent, smiling brightly at him in a way that Shichi could clearly see was fake. “I am so pleased to be working with you.”

Shichi snorted at that, giving the girl a skeptical stare. “Really? Yeah, I know that isn’t true.” He sighed, shaking his head at the uselessness of her pretending to be nice to him.

The girl’s fake smile slowly began to drop from her face, the expression she was wearing slowly changing from one of false friendliness to real confusion. “What do you mean?” She asked, lips pursing as she flicked a strand of light brown hair behind her ear. “I really am pleased to work with you.”

“Egor, I didn’t tell you about my one superpower.” Shichi said suddenly, turning to look at the tall man beside him who seemed very amused by the interactions going on between his students. The tall man raised one eyebrow, folding his arms as he smiled down at Shichi. “Is that so? What is it?” He asked, eyes flicking over briefly to look at the girl as she glared Shichi down from the side, the two other recruits beside her looking quite nervous about saying anything in this situation.

“I have selective hearing.” Shichi said proudly, turning around to look right at the fuming girl. “I can hear the truth by automatically refuting all of the bullshit in the world with my ears.”

The girl’s jaw dropped, her face the perfect picture of disbelief as she gawked at him. “Did you just…say that?!” She spluttered indignantly, her fists clenching tightly at her sides. “How dare you!”

The other two recruits stared at Shichi like he was insane, slowly backing away from the girl so that they were out of her hitting range as her face turned red.

Shichi shrugged, completely unrepentant, staring down the girl in front of him. “There’s nothing wrong with a superpower like that.” He said casually. “It means I can tell when the people I meet are secretly jerks who want to screw me over, even if they pretend to be nice.”

“That’s it!” The girl shrieked, pounding one fist into the palm of her other hand. “Let’s fight!”

Both students were interrupted by the sound of deep laughter, ringing out high above them, and the sight of their mentor doubling over in hysteria, cackling at their antics. He held his stomach as his body shook, tears of delight coming to his sharp grey eyes.

“Oh my goodness!” He laughed loudly, patting Shichi heavily on the shoulder as he did so. “That was wonderful!”

The girl gaped at her teacher in shock, unable to believe that he was actually condoning this behavior. “Y-You’re going to let him say things like that to me?” She asked, her light blue eyes wide like she was trying to comprehend that. “I’m your favorite student!”

“Sorry Valeriya.” Egor grinned as he returned to his full height, settling down from his bout of laughter as he looked down fondly at Shichi, ruffling his blonde hair a bit. “I’ve got a new favorite now. Little cub, I am glad you have joined us.”

_“Oh, now the fight is really on between me and this chick.”_ Shichi thought in his mind as he glanced out of the corner of his eye towards the Valeriya person, watching her already red face darken into an almost purple shade not unlike that of a beet. Yep. He could tell she and him were just going to be the best of friends. 

Egor, however, did not seem to notice the problem as he laughed cheerfully again, ruffling Shichi’s hair one more time before turning to face the other recruits. “I shall introduce you all properly to each other now so we can avoid any more hilarious conflicts.” He said in a flat tone, voice and demeanor already shifting back into “murder machine” mode. 

The three students in front of Shichi lined up once again, two of them watching him in awe like he was a legendary superhero sprung from a storybook, the third looking at him like she was thinking of all the different ways she could give him a vasectomy with a soup spoon. 

“Shichi Suzuki, our newest student.” Egor called out loudly, gesturing at Shichi to his other three students. “He came here from Japan and has no idea what he’s doing.” 

“Good introduction. That about sums up my life right now.” Shichi muttered under his breath, giving his new classmates a slight wave. 

Egor snickered a little (apparently, Shichi’s muttering wasn’t as quiet as Shichi thought it was) as then gestured towards the student on Valeriya’s left. “Viktor Petrov, my oldest student.” He introduced, and Viktor bowed, still looking at Shichi with that slight expression of awe, despite the fact that he’d literally just heard about Shichi’s current life direction. 

Shichi looked Viktor up and down, taking in his rather unusual appearance. Based on his name, the guy was just as Russian as everyone else in the room, but his physical features certainly didn’t align with that. He had bright red hair, something that was exceptionally out of place almost anywhere, and freckles that speckled his nose and cheeks. His eyes were a bright icy blue, so Shichi supposed that was at least one Russian aspect about him, and he was very short. He looked like a pretty nice guy, though. 

“Viktor is a master of sharp weapons and quick combat.” Egor continued, still working on his student’s introduction, evidently. “He can battle with nearly any sort of sharp weapon you put in his hands in fact, and quite lethally at that. He could kill twenty gunman with a kitchen knife before they even registered the fact that they were dead.” 

Shichi gulped a little, looking at the short redhead with a new perspective. Okay…so pretty nice might have been a slight misjudgment of the guy’s character. 

Viktor nodded in respect to Shichi and Shichi quickly nodded back, not exactly wanting to get on the bad side of a guy who could apparently murder him with a kitchen knife faster than Shichi could chop celery with one. 

Egor’s hand moved to Valeriya’s left, at the student on the other end of the little line in front of Shichi, introducing the boy standing there next. “Aleksander Tchaikovsky, the third student I took on.” The assassin announced, and Aleksander gave Shichi a bow as well, his eyes locked carefully on Shichi like he was trying to figure out if Shichi was just faking being horrible at fighting. 

It wasn’t a ruse, man. Shichi really had no clue about what he was doing when it came to anything of this nature. 

Shichi bowed back to Aleksander, taking in his second classmate’s appearance as well. Aleksander looked more like the typical Russians Shichi had been seeing so far, with the pale blonde hair and bright blue eyes that made him look like a snowman had taken on human form but was still trying to retain colors as close to white as possible. Aleksander’s blonde hair however had odd streaks of gray in it, despite the youthful qualities of his face that told Shichi he was still a teenager like him, and his blue eyes were speckled with small flecks of grey as well. 

“Aleksander is an expert at disguise and espionage.” Egor was saying, looking very proud of this as he held his hand out towards the boy. “He can sneak into nearly any establishment, and through careful manipulation of his surroundings, he can murder almost anyone inside.” 

Jesus, had everyone in here already committed murder or something?! Was that some kind of ritual they all completed before coming here?! Shichi dearly hoped he wouldn’t have to do something like that to prove himself worthy of the program as like some kind of midterm exam. 

Shichi tried to hide his ever-growing anxiety about his life choices as he nodded respectfully at Aleksander, the other teenager nodding back at him and even giving Shichi a small smile. Oh. It seemed like Aleksander liked him. Well that was good! Maybe he could offer Shichi protection from Miss Vasectomy over there while he slept. 

And speaking of Miss Vasectomy… 

Egor’s hand had now moved over his final student, the one still glaring at Shichi like she detested his very existence on this earth, ready to introduce her. 

“And finally, Valeriya Spasky.” Egor announced. “My most talented student.” 

Oh great. Shichi had ticked off the most talented killer in the little murder brigade Egor had collected here. Good to know. 

Valeriya scowled at Shichi, her light blue eyes flashing with murderous rage as she glared right at him. Her hair was long, almost down to her waist, and light brown like Egor’s. She was pretty petite, even for a girl, but Shichi was pretty sure her diminutive size wouldn’t stop her from attacking him the instant Egor was out of sight. Never underestimate an angry female. That was a very important life lesson that Shichi had picked up a long time ago. It would lead to your demise very quickly. 

She was pretty, Shichi supposed, and her chest was…impressive…to say the least. But there was no way Shichi was going to let his guard down around her just because she had a pretty face. Nuh uh. He was going to keep his eye on Valeriya Spasky. 

“Valeriya is a general master of most killing techniques.” Egor informed Shichi, smiling at Valeriya even as she growled at Shichi. “She can fight hand-to-hand, with or without a weapon, and long distance. She can disguise herself or take on other identities, and she is a master of stealth. Valeriya is my most talented shooter as well, and she can wield almost any gun in the inventory. In general, she makes a very good assassin, and she actually worked as one within her own branch before coming to me for training.” 

“I’m going to murder you in your sleep, foreigner.” Valeriya growled threateningly, and her eyes definitely meant it. 

“And that is precisely why I will not sleep tonight!” Shichi said cheerfully, trying his best not to show weakness by running away screaming like he secretly wanted to. 

Egor laughed again, seemingly delighted by the relationships his students were forming already, and patted Shichi on the back before stepping off to the side. “We’ll begin our training for the day now. I want you three to return to the obstacles you were working with yesterday and simply work on those for a few hours while I begin Shichi’s physical assessment and learn which fighting styles I should teach him first.” 

“Yes sir.” All three Russians chanted, each spinning around and walking off to different parts of the training room, Aleksander giving Shichi a small wave as he left to head for the weird spinning spiked pillars in the far corner. 

Shichi waved back, suddenly very glad that he seemed to have a friend in this place, and turned to look at Egor nervously. “A ph-physical assessment?” Shichi repeated slowly, hoping that wasn’t as dangerous as it sounded. “Does that have any chance of, ah, killing me?” 

Egor laughed and shook his head no, gesturing for Shichi to follow him. “I’m simply going to have you try some basic training machines and see how you react to them.” He explained casually, smiling at Shichi brightly. “We’ll start with a light training dummy and I’ll give you various weapons to use, as well as test your hand-to-hand abilities.” 

Shichi nodded slowly. That sounded decent enough. He didn’t think that would have a high probability of killing him. Not a high one. There was still a chance there, but it was at least a little low. 

“Okay.” Shichi said, taking a deep breath and looking up in determination at Egor. “Let’s see how this goes.” 

“Wonderful!” Egor said cheerfully, leading Shichi off towards one of the back rooms. “We will get started immediately.” 

He led Shichi into a room that looked quite similar to the one he’d taken Shichi to for his first “test”, except this one had a large wooden dummy in it that was easily twice Shichi’s height and looked much more capable of defeating an enemy than Shichi, even as just a block of wood hanging out in a room. 

“This is Calvin.” Egor said flatly, gesturing at the tall dummy without a single emotion present on his stoic face. “Calvin is a highly equipped training dummy that can withstand many attacks and is capable of striking back if I set him to offense mode.” 

Egor showed Shichi a large switch system on the wall, pointing out one red switch in the middle labeled in Russian. Shichi assumed it said “offense” or something along those lines. Maybe it said “kill the bloody recruit”, but Shichi couldn’t really be sure. 

“Got it.” He responded, turning to face Calvin with only a little bit of fear present in his expression. “Um…am I supposed to fight Calvin?” 

“Yes.” Egor responded casually, smiling at Shichi. “Attack Calvin with whatever I give you. We’ll start with this.” 

Shichi held out his hand and Egor dropped…a paperclip into it. 

Shichi stared at the paperclip, uncomprehending of exactly what he was supposed to do with this. “I’m sorry…” He said slowly, looking up at the massive wooden monster before him. “But you want me to fight a twelve foot wooden monster with a paperclip?” 

“Precisely.” Egor nodded, moving his hand over the switches on the wall as he set up Calvin’s settings. “Now get ready.” 

“How am I supposed to do that?!” Shichi screeched, waving his arms around wildly in the air with a look of panic on his face. “I-I-I barely know how to fight off a bee that gets too close to me at lunchtime! And that’s when I at least have bug spray, a heavy textbook, or a magazine to squash it with! How do I fight this thing with just a paperclips?!” 

“That’s the problem you have to figure out.” Egor said cheerfully, flicking on the “kill the bloody recruit” switch with a happy smile directed right at Shichi. “Everyone has to do this, you know. Just try your best.” 

Shichi practically choked on his saliva as he looked over nervously at Calvin, the giant wooden monster slowly creaking to life with a roar, wooden arms coming up from its sides in a sparring position. Shichi barely had time to gulp at the giant thing towering over him, paperclip clutched firmly in his shaking hand, before Calvin lunged at him, wooden hand smashing into the ground with a fierce slam. 

Shichi jumped out of the way, falling onto his butt on the floor and shaking in fear at the monster’s hand embedded in the wooden floor. Now all the dents and gashes Shichi was seeing around the room made sense. Calvin was a beast! 

“Oh dear sweet mercy of Christ!” Shichi yelped as he scrambled up from the floor, dodging another attack from Calvin’s massive arms right before it smashed into the spot he was just in. “How will this not kill me?!” Shichi demanded of his teacher, glaring hard at the smiling Egor as he ran around the room frantically. “I definitely feel as though I am in danger of being killed, here!” 

“You are not.” Egor promised, grey eyes sparkling. “Not as long as he doesn’t catch you.” 

“That’s just low!” Shichi yelled, shaking a fist angrily at his new teacher before jumping to the side as Calvin threw another punch. 

Shichi completely hurled his body to the side to avoid this one, sliding on his stomach with a wince and glancing quickly over his shoulder at where Calvin was turning to face him yet again already. 

Shichi’s eyes flicked down to something shining on the floor between him and Calvin and noticed with horror that it was his paperclip. His one useless, pointless, completely awful excuse for a weapon! 

He needed that! 

Calvin started walking towards Shichi, each step making a loud booming sound on the wooden floor as he marched, one of his feet coming steadily closer to Shichi’s precious paperclip. He was going to crush the paperclip underneath his massive wooden foot! 

“Hey!” Shichi yelled in outrage, jumping to his feet and racing towards the paperclip in between himself and Calvin as fast as he could. 

Calvin started to rear back an arm as Shichi approached, ready to slam a deadly punch into Shichi’s side as soon as the boy was in range. Shichi tried to ignore the complete idiocy of what he was doing, reaching down desperately for the paperclip on the floor as he ran, Calvin’s foot raising high above the clip and ready to smash down. 

“That’s. My. Paperclip!” Shichi yelled as he threw himself to the ground, snatching up the tiny instrument right as Calvin’s fist started swinging and his foot started crashing down.

The fist breezed right over Shichi’s flattened back, just barely missing him, but the foot was ready to come down on Shichi’s head, about to smash it into a million pieces. 

Quicker than Shichi could even comprehend the action, he rolled to the side like a log, Calvin’s foot smashing right next to him on the ground. 

Heart pounding, Shichi pushed himself to his feet and looked over at Calvin, foot jammed in the floor, attempting to pull it out with his wooden arms. 

Shichi backed away from the wooden dummy slowly, swallowing hard as he tried to think of a strategy. 

Okay, he had his paperclip back now. How exactly did that help him? He was a scrawny teenage boy with a paperclip versus a twelve foot wooden behemoth with inborn fighting abilities. The odds weren’t exactly in his favor. 

_“Think Shichi.”_ Shichi thought to himself, breathing hard as his eyes flicked up and down the robot. _“Egor may be a cruel bastard but he wouldn’t give you some kind of task that was completely impossible. There must be some kind of way to beat this thing using only a paperclip. But…how?”_

Shichi gritted his teeth and stepped back nervously as Calvin’s foot started to come out of the ground, the wooden monster beginning to finally free himself with a loud roar. 

“Well…it’s a machine, isn’t it?” Shichi asked aloud, slowly walking in a circle around the still-trapped Calvin. “It’s a machine so it’s gotta have some kind of inner workings despite the wooden exterior.” 

He looked at the paperclip in his hand, thinking of the time his adoptive parents back home in Japan had made him join the robotics club after school (for reasons that Shichi was completely unaware of) and his team had started to build a robot for some kind of school competition. Shichi had been in charge of wiring, which was something he’d known nothing about. And still didn’t know anything about. 

But the moral of the story was that using a small screwdriver and a weird metal wire, Shichi had been miraculously able to ruin the robot’s inner workings beyond repair to the point where it didn’t even move a single step forward. 

Shichi had been kicked out of the robotics club that very same day. But the point was that Shichi was excellent at screwing up the inner workings of machines and robots. 

“If I can somehow get inside that thing…” Shichi said slowly, watching the massive behemoth struggle in front of him. “Then I really can use only a paperclip to beat it.” 

Right! So now Shichi just needed to figure out how to break through that wooden armor which seemed to wrap around every inch of Calvin. 

Before he was smashed to a pulp. Easy as pie. 

Calvin ripped his foot up and out of the ground with a mighty roar, spinning around to face Shichi and readying his hands instantly into a fighting position. 

Shichi gulped and steadied himself, icy eyes flicking all over the robot’s body at lightning speed. He could see the ridges where the wooden armor was connected, but it would take some kind of crowbar or extreme leverage device for him to be able to get it off himself. He certainly wasn’t strong enough to just rip wood off a robot. 

He needed to find a looser panel. Or maybe…loosen one up? 

Shichi stared at Calvin’s arms, noting that where he’d smashed them into the floor and walls trying to hit Shichi, there was a bit of a wider gap between the wooden panels. They’d come looser with the impact. So Shichi just needed Calvin keep attacking him until one of the panels was loose enough to come off. 

That would get him inside the robot…but would it get him to a part crucial enough for him to take Calvin down. 

“Might as well knock out what I can right now and then work on decimating the rest.” Shichi decided, jumping out of the way as Calvin smashed into the ground with his arm once more. 

Shichi grinned when he saw the arm come away and noticed the loose wooden panel’s gap had grown wider, the far left side of it almost hanging off of Calvin’s arm now. The benefit to fighting a brawny robot was that it always seemed to attack at full force and didn’t realize what it was doing to itself. 

“Alright then. Come on, you brute!” Shichi yelled, taunting Calvin towards him. “Let’s see what you’re made of!” 

Calvin gave a roar of anger and swung a fist down at Shichi, smashing his arm powerfully into the ground once more. “Yeah! That’s it!” Shichi cheered from his position on his butt on the floor (obviously from where he fell down dodging Calvin), grinning at the huge robot. “Keep smashing! You’ll get me eventually!” 

The next few minutes became a flurry of Calvin trying to hit Shichi and Shichi dodging as best as he could, taunting the dummy even though he consistently tripped over his own feet and had to scramble to avoid death on far more than one occasion. 

Eventually, Calvin gave a huge shout and slammed his fist so far into the ground that it drove deep into the wooden floor, almost up to Calvin’s elbow. Shichi looked in excitement at the robot’s arm as he began to pull it out, wondering if that had been the attack Shichi had been waiting for. 

And when Calvin yanked out his arm, and the wooden panel there flew off, Shichi knew that he’d been right with his strategy. 

While Calvin was still recovering from pulling his arm out, Shichi lunged at the huge robot, latching onto his arm like a four year old latched onto candy, instantly jamming the paperclip into the robot’s inner arm workings and getting right to his special talent of screwing things up. 

Shichi worked as fast as he could, using his pitiful arm strength to keep himself on Calvin as Calvin started to swing his arm around in an attempt to get Shichi off. Shichi kept yanking the paperclip around his working, jamming it under small delicate looking plates and prying them up, tearing out random wires and stabbing the paperclip through anything that looked remotely fragile. 

Eventually, Shichi deemed his work in Calvin’s arm finished and he let himself be flung off the arm, crashing painfully into the side of the sparring room with a groan, paperclip in hand. 

Shichi cracked open one eye, rubbing the back of his head and shaking it so that the room would stop spinning, his vision eventually locking on Calvin stumbling around in front of him. 

Calvin’s arm was dropped dead at his side, the beast roaring in outrage as he tried to move it but couldn’t. Sparks just flew from the arm as the machinery inside gave out pitifully to Shichi’s handiwork, the sparks actually beginning to catch on to the rest of Calvin’s wood as he continued to try using the arm to attack Shichi, walking closer to the teenage boy. 

Shichi watched Calvin walk closer, sparks flying and machinery creaking horribly, the threat of a fire eminent. 

Shichi grinned madly, as Calvin gave a roar and flung his useless arm at Shichi, the teenager managing to hurl himself out of the way before the useless appendage smashed into the wall he’d been leaning against. 

With a sharp snap and a loud crackle, Calvin’s arm caught fire, the wooden giant still stumbling towards Shichi despite the flames eating at his outside protection. 

Shichi laughed and readied himself on his feet, grinning at the flaming monster. Once all the wood burned off, Shichi could easily take out this thing’s inner workings. He was going to do this! He was going to defeat a wooden monster with nothing but a paperclip and his own pathetic “athletic” abilities! 

“And that’s enough.” Egor suddenly said from the switched on the wall, flicking several things in quick succession to shut down Calvin. 

Calvin gave a huge shudder and then collapsed to the floor, devoid of life. 

Shichi stared at the monster in shock, still clutching his paperclip in his hand, ready to fight. 

“What…What did you do that for?” He demanded, waving his arms angrily at his teacher, blue eyes narrowed into a glare. “I was winning and everything!” 

Egor laughed at Shichi’s reaction, walking over and patting the boy comfortingly on the shoulder. “I know that, little cub.” He said gently, smiling fondly at the pouting boy. “But I can’t have you destroy my training dummy, no?” 

He grabbed a fire extinguisher that Shichi hadn’t noticed yet and put out the fire on Calvin’s arm, spraying until the flames were completely gone and then setting it back on the wall. 

He took the paperclip from Shichi next, peering at it with a smile. “None of the other recruits tried actually using the paperclip.” He commented aloud. He looked down at Shichi in amusement, a sparkle in his grey eyes. “They all fought Calvin hand-to-hand to defeat him. The paperclip is really more of a joke. But you…you found a way to use it.” 

“Well, it’s not like I can do anything else!” Shichi spluttered, crossing his arms with a huff and glaring down at Calvin with his cheeks burning with embarrassment. The paperclip was just a joke. Wow, he must have seemed like an idiot for caring so much about it. But hey, at least he beat Calvin. 

Egor chuckled at Shichi and slipped the paperclip into his pocket, nodding in appreciation at Shichi. “I’m glad that the initial test with the box wasn’t just a fluke.” He said slowly, smiling at Shichi. “You really are quite intelligent, Shichi. Despite your lack of physical ability. And that is far more valuable.” 

“It is?” Shichi asked slowly, looking over at Egor in surprise. “All the other recruits seem way more capable of killing people than me. Isn’t physical ability better to have than intelligence?” 

Egor chuckled and shook his head at that, placing a gentle hand on Shichi’s shoulder. “Not at all.” The assassin said smoothly. “Physical ability can be gained through training and effort. Time and practice can breed physical talent from one dedicated to learning their craft. Intelligence is not so easily gained. The sharp mind to work in battle or unfamiliar situations. The creative thinking necessary to defend yourself and find clear paths through darkness where others merely stumble around. This is the intelligence you possess, little cub, and it is something that not many have.” 

Egor nodded at Shichi, ruffling his hair once more with a gentle look in his grey eyes. “You will make a fine assassin one day, Shichi.” The tall man said confidently. “I cannot wait to see it.” 

Shichi laughed nervously, still not fully sure about the killing people thing, but he had to admit that he was flattered by Egor’s words. 

“No one in my family…ever said things like that.” He admitted aloud, looking up at Egor hesitantly. “They always said I was the worthless outcast. The one no one wanted. I was the outsider. They never…acknowledged anything I could do. Only the things I couldn’t.” 

Egor frowned at this, and looked Shichi right in his icy eyes. “That is not the case here, little cub.” Egor said firmly. “Here, you are valuable to us. And I hope soon you will be valuable to yourself.” 

Shichi stared at Egor for a few seconds, trying not to let tears come into his eyes. “Valuable…to myself.” He repeated softly, looking down at his hands. 

Egor nodded, squeezing Shichi’s shoulder once before turning away. “Let’s head to the next training room. I still have seven more dummies to test you against before I know for sure which things to train you in first.” 

Shichi groaned aloud at this, not missing the chance to complain as he followed Egor out of the room, leaving poor Calvin behind to await repairs. But inside, even as he complained about everything that was going on, Shichi was secretly happy that he was here, training with Egor and the others. Meeting Kazimir and Vorona and Drakon. Being here in Russia with the opportunity to look for his parents. He felt like he was changing from the shy, quiet, insecure boy that he’d been before and becoming something…more. 

And that was more than he could’ve ever hoped for before. 

*** 

_“I’m stopping there for the night.”_ Shichi said calmly on the other end. 

“Thanks for not giving us a cliffhanger, Shichi.” Shizuo said quickly, already pulling out his and Izaya’s coats so they could get going. “We’re really cutting it close here. The movie starts in fifteen minutes and I don’t have time to convince Izaya not to send a legion of readers after your blood.” 

_“Gee…thanks…”_ Shichi said slowly from the other end, and Shizuo and Izaya could both vividly see him shaking his head at them. _“Well, have fun on your date. Love you Izaya. I’ll talk to you next Friday.”_

“Yeah, see you then.” Izaya chirped back, rolling his eyes as Shizuo threw his coat at him, hopping anxiously in place by the door and pleading with his eyes for Izaya to hurry up. “Geez, someone’s impatient.” Izaya muttered, saying a quick “I love you” to his father before hanging up the phone and slipping it into his pocket, grabbing Shizuo phone on the way over to the door. 

He smiled at the camera which was still running on it, giving a quick wave to it as Shizuo ushered him out the door. “Hope you enjoyed this week’s episode of “Shichi’s Adventures in Russia”!” He said cheerfully. 

“See you next time for Episode Ten: Russian Roulette!” Shizuo said hurriedly, grabbing his phone from Izaya as he continued to push the raven out the door. “Good night! Good morning! Goodbye! Later!” 

He stopped the camera as quickly as possible and slipped his phone into his pocket, pushing Izaya along. “Now let’s get going!” 

“Why did you say Russian Roulette?” Izaya asked curiously, glancing over his shoulder at his boyfriend as they hurried along. 

“It was the first Russian thing I could think of.” Shizuo snapped. “Now let’s hope it ends up being accurate and let’s get to our movie!” 

“Okay, okay.” Izaya gave in, smiling fondly at the tall blonde as he yanked Izaya along, determined to get there on time. 

Shizuo was so ridiculous sometimes. Such a huge romantic and so determined to make sure Izaya had all the love he needed now after missing it for so many years. It was sweet, and secretly Izaya didn’t mind it at all. 

But he’d never tell Shizuo that. Not right now, anyways. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See? We had a slightly better fight scene there, right? Poor Calvin...poor, poor Calvin...but at least Shichi can somewhat fight things! Mostly by screwing things up, but still! XD In any case, we're going to start doing time skips here with the next chapter to zoom along through some of Shichi's time in Russia now that his exposition is done. I hope you're all enjoying it so far! Like I said, thank you so much for reading this little story about an OC so loyally. It really makes me happy that you guys seem to love Shichi enough to read a whole story about him!
> 
> Alright, well that's enough for me! It's super early and we're already leaving so I really need to go now! Bye! I'll see you next Friday with a (hopefully) normal update! <3


	11. Russian Roulette (Русская рулетка)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Today, I actually had time to myself in order to post this thing at a decent hour! Isn't that great? I'm honestly very happy about that.
> 
> So today's chapter is a VEEEERY long one. This is mostly because of the various different scenes that were molded together here in order to fit the theme of the chapter. I hope you enjoy the chapter anyway, and thanks again you guys for reading this story so loyally. You're the best! <3
> 
> Okay, I'll see you at the end of this...oh so long...chapter! Bye! <3

“It’s time to answer the burning question!” Izaya declared, pointing his finger in the air mightily as he glared at the tall blonde across from him at the dinner table. Shizuo slowly looked up from his food, blinking at his tiny boyfriend as his brain tried to comprehend what the raven was talking about.

“Um…” He started ever so intelligently, staring at the determined face in confusion. “What burning question are we talking about here?”

“The burning question of how Shichi and Valeriya started dating!” Izaya screeched, jumping up from his seat and looking at Shizuo in horror. “Hasn’t it been nagging at you?! Don’t you want to know?”

Shizuo shrugged, taking another bite of dinner and praying that this wouldn’t continue for very long. “I mean, sure it’s a little weird how they hated each other so much at the beginning and then…started dating…but it hasn’t really been burning at me at all.” The blonde admitted, reveling in the taste of Izaya’s cooking.

Izaya however, was not letting this go.

“I can’t believe you!” The raven cried, grabbing his hair in his hands with a distraught expression on his face. “How has this not been eating at you day and night?! My Kazichi ship is sinking over here and I need to know why! Plus, there’s the dying question that readers keep asking of how does Kazimir react to this?! We need to know these things, Shizu-chan! _They_ need to know these things!”

“Alright, alright. Settle down.” Shizuo said soothingly, gesturing at Izaya in what he hoped was a calming manner. “We’ll get to the bottom of that right after dinner. But…how are we going to answer those questions? I don’t think they’re next in the chronological order of the story.”

“Obviously, we’ll ask Shichi to do a time skip.” Izaya said, rolling his eyes dramatically. “He’s supposed to be answering whatever questions we ask him anyways. And we don’t have a cliffhanger to resolve this time so let’s just move straight ahead!”

Shizuo sighed heavily, shaking his head at the stubborn light he could see in his boyfriend’s eyes. “Okay then, ‘Zaya. We can do that, but only ask one question, not all of them.” He instructed, watching the delight that instantly filled the smaller man’s face.

“Great!” He cheered, punching a fist into the air as he hopped up, running straight to the couch where he left his phone. “Let’s do it!”

Shizuo stared helplessly after his motivated mischief-maker, wishing he had at least a little more control in this relationship. “Could we do it…after dinner?” He asked weakly, pointing to the uneaten food lying on Izaya’s plate.

Izaya glanced back at it, considered the line of thought for all of two seconds, and then dismissed it with a shake of his head. “Nope!” He said lightly. “We gotta get started on this as soon as possible! Only once my burning hunger for Kazichi has been sated can I sate my burning hunger for food!”

“Priorities.” Shizuo said aloud. “We all have them.”

The tall blonde sighed and stood up from the table, taking his own phone out of his pocket in defeat as he activated the camera. “Right. Let’s get this over with so we can eat.” He said tiredly, holding the camera up in the air.

Izaya looked over at Shizuo in surprise. “Oh. You can keep eating if you want, Shizu-chan.” He offered, patting Shizuo on the shoulder with a concerned look on his face. “I know you were hungry and I don’t want you to stay hungry.”

Shizuo shook his head firmly, holding the camera high with stout resolution. “No. My good boyfriend qualities refuse to let me eat without you.” He declared, nodding firmly as the camera as he hit start. “Now let’s go.”

He waved at the camera as the video started, completely unaware of the soft smile crossing Izaya’s face behind him as he said, “Welcome to the next episode of “Shichi’s Adventures in Russia”! This is Episode Ten: Russian Roulette. I…hope it actually has something to do with Russian Roulette and if it doesn’t then…well, I apologize. I was in a hurry last time.”

“We’re in a hurry this time, too!” Izaya cut in, smiling brightly at the camera as he hugged Shizuo from behind. “Since my dear Shizu-chan here wants to have a nice meal together and he’s very hungry right now.”

Shizuo turned a little red at the open endearment from his boyfriend, coughing as he tried to put his attention back on the camera. “R-Right. So we’re just gonna get started here! Izaya, make the call.”

Izaya winked at the camera and then pulled out his phone, happily selecting Shichi’s number from speed dial and putting it to his ear.

He waited for barely three seconds before the other end picked up, and his red eyes lit up with delight. “Dad! Hello!” He sang happily. “Today I want you to skip straight to something that is very important to my physical, mental, and spiritual health! Got it? Good! So here is the question: how did you and Valeriya start dating…”

***

How did Shichi and Valeriya start dating? Well, that was an excellent question. The excellent answer to that question was…pretty much by accident.

Like everything else in Shichi’s sad, little life.

He’d been training under Egor for about three weeks, honing his physical abilities (and by honing he meant gaining his first physical abilities ever) and practicing some of the minor activities that Egor gave him to improve himself as an..assassin.

Because yes, Shichi had resigned himself to the fact that he was training to be an assassin. It didn’t necessarily mean he had to kill anyone – after all, he hadn’t promised to _become_ an assassin once his training was complete – but he did have to admit that he was pretty darn good at it.

Shichi had picked up on the stealth skills very quickly (probably thanks to years of sneaking into the kitchen to steal midnight snacks and dessert) and he’d trained until his footsteps were soft enough to walk on termite-ridden creaky floors without making a sound. He could also hide successfully behind all manners of objects, from potted plants to people who didn’t even notice he was there, and his breathing could slow and steady itself to the point where he sounded like he was dead if you weren’t paying absolute attention. 

Egor had tested him two days ago on mastery of stealth skills, to see if he was ready to pass into the next phase of his training, and Shichi had passed with flying colors. It was super simple, really. All Shichi had had to do was walk down a dark hallway without being detected.

The dark hallway was filled with noise detectors, swiveling security cameras, laser beam alarm triggers, a virtual search patrol that he needed to hide from whenever it came by, and atmospheric measurers to pinpoint areas where he breathed too hard, not to mention the fact that he had a time limit to get to the end, but that was nothing. Shichi was very good at being stealthy.

Egor had applauded him proudly, even giving him a “friendly” punch on the shoulder to show his support, and his friend Aleksander (because yes, they had become friends) had been ecstatic that he’d passed the stealth test. After all, Aleks was the master of stealth and espionage. He was so proud of Shichi that he almost teared up.

Viktor even supported Shichi in his own stoic way, offering him a smile and a small “congratulations” before moving onto his next training task. And even being acknowledged by Viktor felt like a huge achievement to Shichi. _He_ had almost teared up after that.

But of course, there was one person who had not been as happy with Shichi’s success as the others.

Valeriya Spasky.

She’d scoffed at Shichi, saying her time was faster and that she could do better blindfolded and gagged than he ever could without a single handicap. She said if she had a pet turtle, she could train it to move faster than him. She said if she had a pet howler monkey, she could train it to be quieter. In general, she insulted Shichi in every way she could think of.

And Shichi? Well, let’s just say that Shichi gave as good as he got. 

By the end of Shichi’s lovely batch of insults, baked with love just for Valeriya, the girl was red-faced with rage and marching away without even talking to him.

That’s right, Valeriya. Shichi’s little insult batch serves wicked burns, and may contain trace amounts of savage roasting. You don’t mess with a king of comebacks.

But that wasn’t the point. He and Valeriya always argued over everything. They always fought over everything, from food at the table to the cots they slept in (because Shichi had agreed to live with Egor in the training hall after the first week, just like the other trainees) and the chores they had to do. It certainly wasn’t anything new for Shichi to savagely roast Valeriya alive or for Valeriya to savagely beat him to the point where he was barely alive.

It was a lovely relationship, really.

But it all changed one night when Egor left on a mission of his own.

“I’ll be back in the morning.” He promised them, slipping on his coat as he gripped the door handle. He shot a smile over his shoulder at the four recruits watching him, a bit of a twinkle in his grey eyes as he added, “Don’t kill each other while I’m out.”

With that lovely parting statement, he swept right out of the doorway and off to murder someone in a mission that Shichi didn’t want any details about.

The four recruits stood there staring at the door for a very long time, none of them exactly sure what to do with themselves now that the man they essentially all thought of as their father was gone. Then they all looked at each other, each one noticing how their bond had grown over the past few weeks, and how they were truly beginning to feel like a family. If Egor was their father, then they were all siblings. If they were all siblings, then surely they could learn to look out for each other, and love one another as siblings did. A few rivalries here and there, a few feuds and arguments, but overall they could still love and appreciate each other for who they really wer-

Valeriya, of course, had to ruin the moment.

“I’m in charge, you losers.” She said haughtily, stepping in front of the door and looking back at them smugly. “Let’s not all get chummy with each other just because Egor is gone. It’d be foolish to think that we’re all the best of friends now.”

“Valeriya,” Aleksander said with a pout, looking up at the haughty girl with those icy blue and speckled gray eyes. “Why did you have to ruin the moment like that? We were all bonding and connecting.”

“Which is absolutely disgusting!” Valeriya snapped in response, sniffing at the very thought of bonding with them. “We’re competing against each other to see who Egor chooses as his successor first. We aren’t teammates or anything stupid and corny like that.”

“Just because two beings are not born teammates,” Viktor said calmly, crossing his arms as he looked up at Valeriya. “Does not mean that they cannot live in camaraderie.”

“And Viktor is back with his wonderful aphorisms.” Shichi said cheerfully, patting Viktor on the shoulder. “You always know just how to sound mystical and wise, my friend.”

“Truer words have never been spoken.” Aleksander said solemnly, placing a hand over his heart and nodding in respect at Viktor.

Viktor rolled his eyes at the two of them and turned his attention back on the girl who thought she could rule them all. “Valeriya,” He said, holding out one hand to her. “Stay your violence and usher peace. In the absence of a father, the children must unite to maintain the household.”

“Seriously dude, do you ever stop talking like that?” Shichi wondered, staring at Viktor curiously. “I have literally never heard you speak in normal words.”

Viktor raised an eyebrow and glanced at Shichi out of the corner of his eye. “Words defined as normal portray thoughts that the world accepts.” He said solemnly, bowing his head in Shichi’s direction. “The words defined as strange portray thoughts that the world does not expect.”

“Riiiight.” Shichi said slowly, moving his head to look past Viktor at Aleksander on the other side of him. “You got any idea what he means by that?”

Aleksander shrugged helplessly, frowning hard at Viktor as he tried to think of something. “Maybe…he’s saying that no one likes the way hobos talk? So you shouldn’t talk if you’re a hobo?” He suggested brightly, eyes lighting up as though he’d stumbled upon a miraculous burst of intelligence.

Shichi hummed thoughtfully, holding a thumbs-up out to Aleksander with a huge grin. “Sounds good to me!” He said cheerfully. “Analyzing literature was never my strong suit in school, anyway.”

Viktor sighed sadly at the two of them, shaking his head before holding his hand out to Valeriya once more. “In the absence of a protector, those once protected must now come forward.” He said encouragingly, his gesture prompting her to come to him. “As one we unite in strength, as many we divide in weakness.”

“Stop it!” Shichi wailed, grabbing his hair in misery at all the smart-sounding words coming out of Viktor’s mouth. “Seriously! I’m starting to get a headache here!”

“Well wouldn’t that be a tragedy.” Valeriya snapped haughtily, but she nevertheless grabbed Viktor’s outstretched hand and walked over to him.

Viktor smiled at her, patting her head once to show his happiness at her actions, and then he turned to the rest of the group. “We must decide on our paths when the road isn’t laid for us.” He announced, looking around at them with icy blue eyes, his bright red hair and freckles a sharp contrast to the serious personality he bore. “Do ideas spring from minds or hearts?”

“Da hell does that mean?” Shichi muttered, groaning and scrubbing a hand down his face. “I don’t even know what’s going on anymore.”

“I never know what’s going on when Viktor speaks.” Aleksander said miserably, sighing heavily at the fact. “And my little aphorism translator book doesn’t work on him since everything he comes up with is original.”

“He wants to know if we have any ideas for what to do now that Egor’s gone.” Valeriya cut in, rolling her eyes at their idiocy. “And I’d like to know the same. What do you all want to do?”

“Oh, Miss Smarty-Pants over here would naturally be able to translate Viktorian to us.” Shichi crowed, choosing pointedly to ignore her question. “Makes sense that the alien among us could learn the alien language the fastest.”

Valeriya’s face flushed bright red and she looked like she wanted to pull out a knife and slit his throat, but Viktor placed a hand on her shoulder soothingly. “Make enemies of your friends, and only your true enemies benefit.” He said gravely, looking pointedly into her eyes as he said so.

Valeriya huffed indignantly, glaring at Shichi like he was the greatest bane of her existence, but nevertheless listening to Viktor’s…advice.

“Fine.” She growled, crossing her arms and flicking her head haughtily so that her hair whipped through the air around her. “Shichi, is there anything you want to do?”

Shichi blinked in shock at her open acknowledgement of his existence. “I’m sorry…you asked me before you asked Aleksander?” He asked, completely dumbstruck as he stared at Aleksander, now standing right next to him.

“I know, right? That’s pretty weird.” Aleksander agreed, his own icy eyes wide as he stared at Valeriya. “Do you think she’s been taken over by aliens?”

“Possibly.” Shichi responded, eyeing the scowling Valeriya suspiciously. “There’s one way to check and know for sure…”

Aleksander looked over at Shichi in surprise. “Really? What’s that?” He asked, cocking his head curiously.

Shichi turned to Aleksander, face more serious than it had ever been before, and placed his hands on his friend’s shoulders. “Aleks, if I don’t make it out alive…” He began gravely, his own icy eyes looking deep into Aleksander’s. “Tell Egor that I’m sorry for failing him and for instigating my own murder. And also, you’re the best friend a guy could have in a foreign country when he gets thrown into an assassination classroom with no experience whatsoever.”

“Shichi, what are you saying?” Aleksander asked in worry, his eyes wide as Shichi started to walk over to Valeriya. “Shichi, no! Don’t do it!”

But before anyone could stop him or change his mind (or perhaps inform him of a logical thing to do in the situation) Shichi bent down and planted a kiss right on Valeriya’s lips.

_“If she punches me, then we’re all good and there are no aliens present.”_ Shichi thought in his mind as his lips pressed against hers. _“If she doesn’t and she ends up reacting in a non-violent manner, then we’ll have to take drastic measures and call the Ghostbusters. Or the Men in Black. Possibly the American military if we get truly desperate.”_

Shichi stood there, kissing Valeriya, and the other recruits watched him in open-mouthed shock, unable to believe that this was actually happening. Even Valeriya was frozen in shock, her light blue eyes wide as they stared at Shichi’s face, trying to figure out what demon had possessed him into doing this.

Shichi, for his part, waited patiently for Valeriya’s brain to kick in, keeping up the lip pressure without doing anything else. He didn’t want this to turn into some weird French kiss scene – he was only searching for alien life. All he needed was to slot his mouth against hers, and wait until she reacted.

It took precisely nine seconds for that reaction to occur.

It came not in the form of a punch, but in a open-palm slap to the face that knocked Shichi right off her, followed immediately by a spinning kick to send him flying into the nearest wall.

“YOU PERVERT!” Valeriya screeched, her face blushing a furious red color as she reached into her coat for a dagger. “I’LL MAKE YOU SUFFER FOR THAT!”

“Not an alien.” Shichi managed to get out from his position halfway into the wall, holding a triumphant finger up in the air weakly. “We’re all good here.”

“DIE!” Valeriya screamed, racing at Shichi’s fallen form at the speed of light.

“Valeriya, wait!” Aleksander yelped, trying to beat her to Shichi so he could protect his friend, while Viktor ran for Valeriya in an attempt to stop her from reaching Shichi at all.  
“No! I will not wait!” Valeriya yelled, dodging Viktor’s arms and spinning around Aleksander in one graceful movement, lunging herself at Shichi right afterwards with a loud shout.

Shichi barely had time to push himself up from his position on his back, managing to sit up straight and look ahead of himself, before Valeriya crashed into him, a knife in her hand just ready to slash his neck wide open.

Unfortunately for Valeriya, she didn’t calculate for Shichi sitting up as she was lunging at him, and her lips pressed right against his when she collided with his upright body, knocking them both over in what looked like an extremely forceful kiss.

Shichi’s head slammed hard onto the ground as Valeriya fell on him, pain jolting down his spine to replace the shock of Valeriya kissing him back. Valeriya was mortified by her mistake as she planted her hands on Shichi’s chest, pushing herself away from the kiss and looking down at him in pure horror, knife lying forgotten on the ground beside her. Viktor and Aleksander were frozen mid-ran, jaws hanging open as they stared at the scene that looked like it had come right out of a cheesy romance drama:

Valeriya blushing as she sat on Shichi’s lap, hands on his chest and lips slightly swollen from the (accidental) harsh kiss. Shichi slowly sitting up, shaking his head to get out of the daze that the impact with the ground had caused him, looking up to meet Valeriya’s eyes. The two of them stared at each other for several seconds, possible feelings of affection that they had never noticed before beginning to sprout-

And then Shichi ruined the moment.

“Damn girl, what the hell was that bull-attack of a kiss for?” The Japanese boy who looked like a Russian growled, rubbing the lump that was forming on the back of his head as he shot the girl sitting on his lap a fierce glare. “I mean seriously! It’s no wonder you don’t have a boyfriend! You probably accidentally killed your first one when you were trying to hug him at the bus stop!”

“Hey, shut up!” Valeriya snapped, her face blushing an even brighter red as she grabbed for her knife and pressed it to Shichi’s throat, clearly embarrassed beyond repair by the situation. “I didn’t mean to kiss you, you know!”

“Oh suuuure.” Shichi said sarcastically, his head and back hurting way too much for him to be focused on the threat of the knife pressing at his Adam’s apple. “You, the recruit who always brags about how perfect her planning is or how on-point her aim is or how she never misses a shot at anything. Who always talks about knowing exactly how to predict what someone’s going to do and is able to adapt whatever you’re doing instantly based on that prediction. You expect me to believe that you’ve just made the first mistake of your entire career by kissing me? As if.”

Valeriya’s eyes flashed with rage and she quickly stumbled off Shichi’s body, glaring at him the whole while. “How dare you imply that I wanted to kiss a foreigner like you!” She hissed, her words coming out jumbled and fast. “You’re not even supposed to be here! You’re no assassin! You’re no killer! You don’t belong here at all!”

Now normally, this sort of insult would not have upset Shichi in the slightest. As a matter of fact, nothing that Valeriya had just said affected him at all. Except that last part…about not belonging…

“Excuse me?” Shichi asked in a low voice, his eyes narrowing as he glared up at the flustered girl before him. “What did you just say?”

Sensing that she had finally struck some kind of chord within Shichi, Valeriya’s eyes lit up with sadistic delight. “You don’t belong here.” She repeated with a sneer, planting her hands on her hips and looking down on Shichi with distaste. “You’ve never belonged here and you never will, no matter how “good” you think you’re getting at this.”

“I disagree.” Shichi growled, his fists clenching on the floor beside him as his anger rose up. “In fact, _Valeriya_ , this is the first place that I have ever felt like I actually belonged in.”

“Well you’re sadly mistaken.” Valeriya smirked, clearly reveling in the way that she was finally making Shichi angry for once. “You _don’t_ belong here. Not even a little bit.”

“Valeriya.” Aleksander snapped harshly, glaring at her from behind. “That’s enough.”

“Lies spouted in vengeance bring the greatest hatred of all.” Viktor agreed, his own bright blue eyes firmly locked on Valeriya like he was ready to tackle her at any second.

“Oh can it, you two.” Valeriya snorted, looking down at Shichi smugly. “We all know that he doesn’t have killer gumption. He doesn’t even have any gumption at all! He’s a pathetic weakling who couldn’t actually handle the pressure when push comes to shove.”

Shichi could feel his anger burn from a small flame to a bonfire of rage. “I can’t handle the pressure, huh?” He snapped, standing up roughly from the ground despite the ringing in his head and the aching pain in his back. “I don’t have any gumption to be here, is that it?”

“That’s exactly it.” Valeriya sniffed in response, apparently not impressed with Shichi’s show of rage. “You don’t have the guts, the bravery, the willpower, or the determination to put your life at risk. Which means…” She looked him right in the eye and smirked as she said, “You aren’t one of us. And you don’t belong here.”

“Valeriya!” Aleksander yelled, grabbing the haughty girl’s shoulder and spinning her roughly around to face him, anger coated all over his face. “You have no right to say things like that! None of that was true at all!” He looked up desperately at Shichi, his icy eyes pleading and concerned. “Shichi, don’t listen to a single thing she’s said. She’s just ticked off and she’s trying to poke at your weak spots. You do belong here with us.”

“A new flower blooming in the same garden as a rose has no less place within the shrubbery.” Viktor added, his own eyes filled with concern for Shichi. “It need not listen to the mockery of the blossoms growing near it.”

Somewhere in Shichi’s mind, he knew that Aleksander and Viktor were right. He shouldn’t have to prove himself to Valeriya to prove that he belonged in the assassins’ training program. He didn’t have to prove a thing to her at all. Egor thought he belonged her. Viktor thought he belonged here. Aleksander thought he belonged here. Shichi himself thought he belonged here, too. It was literally only Valeriya poking her ugly head out and saying he didn’t.

But for some reason…he couldn’t ignore her words.

Maybe it was because he knew that the other recruits had all faced dangerous situations before. They’d all actually fought people, and they’d probably all killed people before, too. They knew what it was like to handle the pressure of endangering your life or taking another’s. They had all dealt with this extreme hardship, and Shichi had dealt with nothing of the sort.

Neglectful parents hardly compared to the human morality of taking a life, or the impossible bravery it took to put your own at risk. Being bullied by brothers wasn’t the same as being on the business end of a gun, unsure of your own survival but still needing to think clearly and concisely. Nothing that Shichi had done so far in his life even came close to a situation of life or death in that caliber.

Shichi had never faced that kind of pressure before. And until he did…he couldn’t rightly say that he deserved to be here, learning alongside these people, truly belonging here as a member of this wacked-up “family”.

“I haven’t faced that pressure.” Shichi said softly, staring right at Valeriya as he said so. “I haven’t put my life on the line.”

“That’s right. You haven’t.” Valeriya said haughtily over her shoulder, not looking back at him as Aleksander held her in place to face the other way, still trying to get her to shut up.

But even if Valeriya did shut up, the idea had taken root in Shichi’s brain. He wouldn’t let this go. This was his family now. He needed to prove he belonged here. That he too could put his life on the line.

Shichi looked numbly around the training room, searching for something that could do that. Half the things in here could kill him, that much he knew. But it didn’t mean anything. He needed to prove himself. Needed to put his life on the line.

And then his eyes landed on the Table of Pistols.

The Table of Pistols was exactly what it sounded like: a table set along one wall in the room near the training targets, full of nothing but pistols, handguns, and revolvers. All the easily concealable guns were kept on that table, ready to be used for target practice, and they came in various shapes and sizes. Some were modern and fresh off the line, Egor being very close to Shichi’s old boss Drakon, the weapons dealer. And some were on the older side, probably bought at black market auctions or antique weapons trading posts.  
Shichi had seen this table dozens of times, and he’d passed it by each and every time. He didn’t really know how to use guns. Egor hadn’t introduced him to the guns part of his training yet. There was no need for him to go rummaging around with things he didn’t fully understand. Especially if those things could kill him.

But right now, Shichi could see a certain gun sitting on that table. A certain gun that was calling to him, telling him to do something incredibly stupid. Horrendously risky. Ridiculously endangering. Obviously life-threatening. 

Something that would put his life right there on the line.

Almost in a daze, Shichi started walking for the Table of Pistols, his eyes locked on that innocuous gun, sitting there on the wooden surface.

“Shichi?” Aleksander asked uncertainly, watching him walk in that direction with anxiety written all over his face. “Shichi, what are you doing?”

“Decisions made recklessly will lead to the undoing of even the most intelligent.” Viktor called, taking a step after Shichi as fear began to replace the concern in his eyes, the redhead probably realizing exactly what Shichi had planned.

Valeriya just stared after him, confused as to what he was doing, her brow furrowed as Shichi walked right up to her favorite table in the whole training compound. She said nothing at all.

Shichi stared down at the gleaming gun, its well-kept parts shining under the harsh lights above it. Its handle looked smooth and easy to grip, barrel long and slim, and the round chamber that its bullets went into was currently full. All six-bullets were in there. All six were waiting to be used.

A deadly revolver, lying in wait on the table before him.

Shichi reached out to the gun as if in a dream, feeling numbness spread all over his body as he took hold of it in a shaking hand.

“Shichi stop now. You have no idea what you’re doing.” Aleksander said sharply, his anxiety turning quickly to terror as it dawned on him what Shichi’s actions were leading up to.  
“A game for fools and brutes yields nothing for the skilled.” Viktor warned, his face draining to a pasty pale color as Shichi slowly lifted the gun in the air, the weapon shaking in his hand.

“Shichi…” Valeriya whispered softly, her eyes widening as he removed one bullet from the revolver’s chamber. “Shichi stop.”

Shichi ignored them all, shakily setting the bullet down on the table, the lead projectile making a low thud that seemed to ring throughout the whole compound as he did so. One bullet out. Four more to remove.

“Shichi, cut your shit!” Aleksander shouted, taking a few steps towards his friend and reaching into his pocket threateningly. “I mean it!”

Shichi just silently rotated the chamber, the clicks echoing just as much as the first bullet, slipping out another lead killer and setting that one on the table next to its companion. Another hollow thud ringing in the compound. Two bullets out. Three more to remove.

“Shichi, the path of the roulette is one of chance and fate. Fate is never kind to those who take it lightly.” Viktor said, his hands beginning to shake at his sides as he slowly slid a knife from under his sleeve.

Shichi ignored the sound advice, rotating the chamber again and slipping out another bullet. His fingers slipped as he was setting that one on the table, the bullet falling alongside the others with a clattering thump. Three bullets out. Two more to remove.

“Quit playing around.” Valeriya said in a tight voice, her own face beginning to pale as she too stepped towards Shichi. “We all know you aren’t serious. Make your point in some other way. This is just stupid.”

Shichi rotated the chamber, the fear coursing in his veins making the action harder than it was before as Shichi slipped out the next bullet, his own personal countdown to fate as the number of bullets in the revolver’s chamber went down. He gripped that one tightly, his fingers clammy and weak, shaking horribly as he slowly set that bullet on the table. With the hollow ringing of the lead, Shichi was able to continue his countdown. Four bullets out. One more to remove.

“Shichi, I will throw this knife in your back if you keep doing this!” Aleksander screamed, his hand raised up in the air with a knife poised, eyes wide with terror as Shichi’s fingers rotated the chamber again. “Shichi, stop!”

“Move not another inch before your decisions destroy you!” Viktor yelled, pulling out a knife of his own and setting it firmly in between his fingers as he got ready to hurl it. The blood pounding in Shichi’s ears prevented him from hearing as he tilted the revolver, watching the slow slide of the final bullet.

It scraped along the tube containing it, grating on Shichi’s ears as it poked its head out of the hole it was hiding in, revealing more and more of its lethal self as Shichi tipped his hand more and more. His eyes watched with fixated attention as it slipped out of the chamber fully, falling in slow motion towards the table.

Aleksander, Viktor, Valeriya, and Shichi all watched that bullet drop to the table, falling through the air silently for a short eternity, before clanging on the wooden top with a resounding boom. The sound of the bullet clashing against the wood, the deep sound of the lead ringing with finality, froze everyone in place.

Five bullets out. No more to remove.

One bullet remaining in the chamber of the gun.

Aleksander’s knife shook in his hand, the boy unable to move as Shichi stared at the revolver in his hand, chamber still open with that empty hole staring at him.

Viktor’s hand was trembling, his own knife clenched in between fingers too shaky to throw properly as Shichi slowly set the chamber back in the barrel of the gun.

Valeriya was still standing in shock, her eyes wide and her whole body beginning to shake like a leaf in a storm, watching as the chamber of the gun was spun around and around, the final bullet inside of it spinning around and around with it, no one knowing exactly where it was anymore, until Shichi stopped spinning it.

And then, no one but Shichi moved as the Japanese boy pulled the hammer of the revolver back with trembling, pale fingers and lifted the gun to his head.

He slowly turned to face the others, feeling fear and terror ricochet throughout his whole body, his eyes looking from face to face of the other recruits in front of him.

He was shaking horribly, the cool barrel of the gun pressed right against his temple, the bullet loaded while no one knew where it was. While no one knew if when he pulled the trigger, whether or not he was going to die.

There was a one in six chance that he would. Fate would give him one in six odds of survival. And considering how fate and the universe had treated Shichi all his life…he couldn’t be too sure that the odds were in his favor.

Even so…

Shichi faced his fellow recruits, looked at Aleksander’s silently pleading face, Viktor’s face coated in fear, and then set his eyes on Valeriya’s face, pale with uncertainty and dread.  
And Shichi said these simple words:

“I.” He began as his finger moved over the trigger, the whole room frozen in place. “Belong.” He squeezed his finger against the trigger, ready to pull back all the way. “Here.” He finished, pulling it all the way with his eyes staring right into Valeriya’s.

A loud click rang throughout the room, one that made everybody in it flinch.

But…no bullet came out of the gun.

Shichi stood there, the revolver to his head, hand shaking horribly as his eyes widened in shock. No bullet…had come out of the gun. The bullet was in another chamber. Shichi…was still alive.

Fate hadn’t screwed him over this time.

The three other recruits stared at Shichi without moving, almost like their brains were trying to comprehend that he was still alive and still standing there before them.  
Aleksander’s eyes were filled with tears, his gaze locked on Shichi without moving away. Viktor had fallen to his knees, staring at the Japanese boy like he didn’t know if he was truly there or not.

And Valeriya…Valeriya had doubted Shichi for the last time.

_“Т-T…”_ She started to stammer, taking a single step towards him, her wide eyes slowly filling with tears. _“Tы дурак (Ty durak!/You fool!)!”_

She ran at Shichi as fast as she could, launching herself towards him and wrapping her arms around his shoulders as she cried into his neck.

Shichi just stood there numbly, the revolver to his head, heart pounding faster than it ever had before.

“I nearly…died.” He whispered, hand still shaking as the gun pressed against his temple. “I could’ve died.”

_“Tы дурак (Ty durak!/You fool!)!”_ Valeriya repeated again in a sob, her words almost unintelligible as she pressed her face into Shichi’s neck and cried. _“Tы дурак!Tы дурак! Tы дурак!”_

Shichi stared blankly ahead, his free hand slowly coming up to wrap around Valeriya’s body, holding him close to her as she cried, the other still holding the gun to his head in shock.

_“П…Прости (Prosti./I’m sorry.).”_ Shichi got out past the choke in his throat, body shaking as Valeriya cried against him. _“Прости.”_

Aleksander broke out of his trance, running over to Shichi and pulling the revolver out of his hand as fast as he possibly could, turning and hurling it across the training compound with all the force he could muster.

He stared after it for a while, as if making sure it wouldn’t come back, and then turned around to glare fiercely at Shichi. _“Tы дурак (Ty durak./You fool.).”_ He said simply, clearly agreeing with Valeriya as tears began to roll down his cheeks.

Shichi nodded in agreement with him, still staring wide-eyed into the distance.

Aleksander sniffed once and then joined Valeriya in hugging Shichi, squeezing so tightly that Shichi would almost worry that he’d be about to burst. At that moment in time though, Shichi couldn’t care less. He was still in shock that he was even alive to begin with.

Viktor ran over to them at some point too, not even spouting an aphorism, just slamming into their huddle and joining the hug with a sob of his own.

All four recruits slowly sank to their knees on the floor, each of them crying as they held onto each other, bodies shaking and hearts pounding like they’d just run a marathon together.

“Promise-” Valeriya started to get out, choking on a sob in her throat before swallowing it back and looking up to glare at Shichi from the middle of their huddle. “Promise you won’t do that ever again.” She said firmly, her eyes still teary even as she glared at him.

Shichi smiled softly at her, giving her a simple nod of affirmation, and wiping some of the tears off her cheeks. “I promise.” He said lowly, tapping his forehead gently against hers.  
Valeriya held back another sob and then looped her arms around Shichi’s neck, kissing him forcefully on the lips without even caring what he would say later, or who was watching her.

And yes, she would later agree that that kiss was indeed intentional.

That, my friends, was how Valeriya Spasky and Suzuki Shichi started dating.

***

“Oh my god.” Izaya breathed on the other end of the phone, falling back in the couch weakly as he stared off into space. “That was…so intense.”

“Jesus Shichi, why would you do something like that?!” Shizuo yelled, his own heart racing with adrenaline as he stared at the phone. “Y-You could’ve died! You could’ve killed yourself over wanting to prove that you belonged in a group of Russian assassins!”

_“Yes, I could’ve.”_ Shichi said simply, sighing on the other end as though he regretted the actions of his younger self. _“But clearly, I didn’t. Because for the first time ever, the universe decided it liked me.”_

“Why would you take a chance like that?” Shizuo demanded, still not quite understanding the crazy nature of his boyfriend’s adoptive father. “Never do that again!”

_“Like you need to tell me that!”_ Shichi shouted back in response, almost sounding like he was shuddering on the other side. _“That little game of Russian Roulette was one of the most nerve-racking experiences of my life. It comes second only to seeing Izaya in that hospital, lying on the bed as the doctors pulled bullets out of his body with no guarantee for him to live.”_

Here Shichi paused, taking a deep, shaky breath like he was collecting himself. _“That…that was the most nerve-racking thing in my life. Not even Russian Roulette scared me more than seeing Izaya like that. So close to death. Unable to do a thing about it.”_

Shizuo stared at Izaya at his side, the beautiful raven looking at the phone with just the barest beginnings of tears in his eyes. “Dad…” He whispered softly, blinking a few times to stop the tears from falling. “That won’t happen again. I promise.”

_“Just like I promised Valeriya.”_ Shichi returned, and Shizuo felt like the Russian was smiling gently on the other side. _“So…since we both clearly need some time to collect ourselves…how about we call it a night here? Okay, Izaya?”_

Izaya sniffed a little on their side, rubbing quickly at his eyes before swallowing and managing to get out a choked, “Okay” for Shichi to hear.

Shichi chuckled softly through the phone, the love evident in even such a small example of his voice. _“Okay. I love you, son. More than my own life.”_

Izaya squeezed his eyes tightly shut, lower lip trembling as a small tear escaped him. “I…I love you too, Dad.” He croaked out, wiping the tear away with his eyes still closed.

_“Goodnight.”_ Shichi said gently. _“I’ll see you sometime, Izaya.”_

“Night.” Izaya sniffled out, hanging up the phone before he started crying right then and there.

Shizuo looked at his phone camera, still recording them and decided that that was enough for the night.

“That’s it for today’s episode, people.” He said, holding the camera so that Izaya wasn’t in the frame. “We hope you suffered through this with us, and we hope to see you on Episode Eleven: The Lynx’s Response. Goodnight.”

Shizuo turned off his camera and scooted over to Izaya, holding the raven tightly in his arms. “Let’s go to bed, ‘Zaya.” He said softly. “Okay?”

“W-What about dinner?” Izaya got out, wiping fiercely at his eyes as more tears started pouring down. “A-Aren’t you hungry?”

Shizuo shook his head firmly, standing up and slowly leading Izaya off towards the bedroom. “Not anymore. You matter way more than food to me.” He told the raven, kissing the top of his head and helping the sobbing boy walk.

“And you always will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep! Loooong chapter today! All those scenes were pretty hard to mix together. But I hope it all ended up going okay despite the weird mood change in the middle. So strange how a few comments can make people snap. In any case, hope you enjoyed the chapter despite its slightly odd pacing! Tell me what you think about Shichi's reactions to Valeriya and their weird version of bonding!
> 
> See you next time, when we find out how Kazimir reacts! <3


	12. The Lynx's Response (Ответ Lynx)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody! I'm happy that this chapter was able to come out on time at a decent hour, too! That might not be the case for a little while considering the fact that I will be starting my first year of college in exactly seven days! I have my orientation next Friday, and I think it's supposed to be pretty much all day, so the next chapter might not get posted until Saturday, or maybe even Sunday depending on how long it takes me to settle in. Sorry about that!
> 
> But in any case, I know a lot of you have been looking forward to seeing Kazimir react to finding out that Shichi's dating and that he nearly killed himself with Russian Roulette. I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint you as to what his response is!
> 
> I'll see you at the end! <3

“After that intense episode from last week,” Izaya began, smiling at Shizuo’s phone as the video rolled. “A lot of our viewers were sharing the same sentiments that we did. Namely…WHAT THE HECK, SHICHI?! WHY WOULD YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT?! WE KNOW YOU SURVIVE BUT THAT STILL PUTS A RIDICULOUS AMOUNT OF STRESS ON OUR HEARTS THAT WE DO NOT NEED!”

The phone was plucked out of Izaya’s grasp, revealing a new shot of Shizuo. “Which upset my lovely boyfriend here quite a bit.” The blonde said calmly, patting Izaya’s head as he took his turn with the camera. “And, just like my lovely boyfriend, you were all left with a single burning question that needs to be answered.” Shizuo took a deep breath, clearing his throat as he got ready to reveal it, letting the tension build up to the moment, but Izaya snatched the camera away from him last minute, angling at himself instead.

“What was Kazimir’s reaction to all of this?!” The raven shrieked, shaking the phone back and forth frantically like the answer was hidden inside of it somewhere. “How is he gonna react when he figures out that Shichi tried to _shoot himself in the head_?! How will he respond when he hears that Shichi is _dating Valeriya and not him_?! Both of these are huge problems which Kazimir has to react to and address!”

The phone’s camera abruptly turned to a glaring Shizuo, looking clearly put-out at having not been able to make the announcement himself. “I thought we agreed that I was going to say it.” Shizuo grumbled. “Since you kept getting so angry about it and all.”

“Well, I decided I wanted to say it instead.” Izaya shrugged simply, patting Shizuo on the back consolingly. “Sorry. I’ll make it up to you later.”

“You’re so lucky I love you and accept IOU’s like that.” Shizuo sighed, shaking his head. “But whatever you use to make up with me better be worth it.”

“Oh, it will.” Izaya promised, kissing Shizuo on the cheek. “I just need to think of it.”

Shizuo chuckled at the raven’s confidence, getting ready to begin the actual episode. “Alright, alright. Just pull out your phone and dial Shichi so we can answer those “burning questions” now.”

“If you insist!” Izaya sang cheerfully, slipping the device out of his pocket and happily hitting the speed dial option that had become so familiar to him now.

In the meantime, Shizuo looked at the camera and gave it a small wave. “Hello everybody and welcome to Episode Eleven of “Shichi’s Adventures in Russia”, The Lynx’s Response. We hope you enjoy seeing our wonderful Kazimir back in action as he realizes exactly what goes on when he’s not around.”

“It’s probably not going to be pretty.” Izaya announced from his place in the background with his phone, humming as the tune on the other end rang.

Eventually, his eyes lit up and he shot Shizuo a wide grin. “Hi Dad!’ The raven chirped cheerfully. “Yes, I’ve been doing great since the last time you called…I love you, too. But I have an important follow-up question for you based on all that crazy stuff you told me about last time! Yes. Yes, I’m going to ask you now. Great. So here’s my question: how did Kazimir react to all of that…”

***

Well…let’s start by saying that it could’ve been worse. But it also could’ve been much better. It was really just a matter of opinion as to how well it had gone.

Shichi and Valeriya started dating the very day of the Russian Roulette incident. It became official about two days later when they both realized that holding hands with somebody, giving that somebody occasional kisses, and spending time with that somebody outside of what was required probably meant that you were dating them. Thus, Shichi and Valeriya were dubbed as boyfriend and girlfriend by everyone in the compound. They’d been labeled as such for two weeks now.

But not all was exactly…copacetic.

“Valeriya, I’m not trying to ruin your reputation!” Shichi scowled for the millionth time, glaring at his crazy girlfriend as she huffed and turned her back on him.

“Oh really?” She snapped, clearly not believing him as she flicked a long strand of hair behind her head. “Then explain your actions to me.”

“All I did was beat your speed run on the target course!” Shichi groaned, gripping his hair in his fingers and pulling tightly on it with a snarl. “I trained extremely hard in order to get good at that thing! You should be proud that I actually met my goal and did well! Not upset that I happened to be 0.4 seconds faster than you!”

“Valeriya, Shichi is right.” Aleksander added in, his foot swinging lazily in the air as it hung over the side of his cot, the assassin-in-training carefully reading one of the Vogue magazines that Egor had accidentally left in their room. “You should be supporting your boyfriend. Not trying to guilt trip him into feeling horrible for his successes and tearing him down.”

“I don’t think your opinion counts, here!” Valeriya yelled, glaring fiercely at the bored teenagers. “Everybody knows that you’re Shichi’s best friend! You’ll side with him on anything!”

“Not anything.” Aleksander corrected, holding up a finger in the air even as he frowned at the article in his magazine. “For example, I certainly didn’t back Shichi up when I realized he was the one who stole my roasted chestnuts.”

“Yeah, he went after me like a badger for that one.” Shichi agreed, looking at Valeriya almost pleadingly. “So come on! I support you in most of your endeavors. Why can’t you support me in _one_ of mine?”

“Because you directly crushed one of my favorite records!” Valeriya snapped, glaring at him over her shoulder. “You know how much that speed course run meant to me, Shichi. And you messed with it anyway.”

“I didn’t know I was going to break it!” Shichi insisted, completely exasperated. “You have to believe me when I say that! I didn’t think I was capable of breaking any of your records, Valeriya!”

“Oh can it!” Valeriya snapped, refusing to look at him anymore. “I’m going to be angry with you for a good long while!”

“Gah!” Shichi growled, kicking open the door to their shared bedroom and marching out. “I can’t take it if this is how you’re going to act this whole time!”

“Shichi!” Aleksander called after him. “Shichi, come back! Sure we’re off today but you still aren’t supposed to leave the training compound without Egor’s permission!”

“I need some time away from my girlfriend!” Shichi snapped, marching right to the door of the compound as his face flushed red from anger. He could practically feel steam coming from his ears as he stomped away from the bedroom, wishing he knew how to calm Valeriya down.

Honestly, when that girl got in a fit about something, she was impossible to talk to. He just couldn’t connect with her on anything. It felt like she drove him to absolute extremes sometimes.

“I need to take a break from all this.” Shichi grumbled, yanking open the compound door and walking outside into the freezing air of nighttime. He slammed it shut behind him and leaned against the wall with a heavy sigh, slumping down in exhaustion. Valeriya was way too much, way too often. How he had even managed to stay sane for two weeks of this relationship was astounding.

“All I need to go insane now is a well-placed event of utter misfortune.” Shichi sighed again, looking up at the clouded sky dismally. “And I’m sure the universe will be only too happy to give me one.”

And sure enough, almost immediately after Shichi said the words, the universe granted his “wish”.

“Shichi?” A deep voice asked in surprise, drawing Shichi’s head to look over to his right. He instantly spotted the tall, muscular figure of the man who’d made his life a misery for quite some time at the start of his adventures in Russia with various innuendos, inconveniences, and incomprehensible interest in him.

And despite how hot he looked with those lynx tattoos, Shichi still refused to say that he was happy to see him.

“Kazimir.” Shichi sighed, closed his eyes and slamming the back of his head against the wall. “What are you doing here?”

“Watching my beautiful flower of the night sigh and deprive the world of the joy of his voice.” Kazimir sang dramatically, walking over to Shichi with a grin and leaning against the wall beside him. “But seriously, you look pretty down right now. What’s wrong?”

Shichi cracked open an eye, looking the tall man up and down suspiciously. Kazimir didn’t seem to be pulling on Shichi’s leg at all with his concern. There was a genuine frown on his face, and his forehead was slightly creased with worry lines. Even his electric blue eyes, normally so full of cheer and mischief, had an undeniable hint of concern in them bringing down his general mood.

Well…if he was that concerned about Shichi, then Shichi ought to humor him.

“Alright.” The unfortunate teen sighed, standing up straight and turning to face the man fully. “I’ll spill my problems, but remember that you asked me to.”

Kazimir smiled in response, turning to give Shichi his full attention with an innocent look plastered all over his face. “I’m all ears, my sweet spice muffin.” The Russian lawyer sang, truly ready to listen to Shichi despite his annoying banter.

Shichi rolled his eyes, wondering if this was actually a good idea, but decided to talk anyway. He had to tell somebody, right?

“My girlfriend is killing me right now.” He admitted, groaning as he raked a hand through his hair. “Like, she won’t get off my case about anything and she constantly blames me for anything that goes wrong. I support her all the time but she won’t give me the time of day, and if something I do goes against something she wants to do, then I have to give in to whatever she chose.”

“I’m sorry…” Kazimir said slowly, his head beginning to angle downwards so that Shichi couldn’t see his face. “But did you say…girlfriend?”

“Y-Yes.” Shichi responded, looking over at Kazimir in confusion. “Valeriya Spasky? One of Egor’s other recruits? We started dating about two weeks ago.”

“Two weeks.” Kazimir repeated his gaze still pointed down. “You don’t say…”

“Kaz?” Shichi asked cautiously, patting Kazimir’s shoulder. “Are you…okay?”

“Never better!” Kazimir said cheerfully, his head suddenly snapping up as he shot a blinding grin at Shichi. “I mean, I just love finding out that my one true love has fallen for a treacherous snake in our time apart from each other! And did I tell you something else, Shichi? I absolutely love killing snakes! I mean really, getting rid of snakes is totally one of my specialties!”

Kazimir laughed cheerfully, grabbing Shichi’s shoulders and squeezing them tightly, his eyes sparkling in a friendly enough manner but with a definite glint of mania inside of those blue orbs. “Say, if your girlfriend is bothering you that much, then I’d be more than happy to…talk to her!”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that. I just need to give her some time to cool down.” Shichi sighed, scratching the back of his head as he shook it. “It’s what normally happens. And if time doesn’t fix the problem, then me putting myself in a life-threatening event certainly will.”

“Life-threatening event?” Kazimir’s eye twitched, his grin becoming just a tad bit strained. “Your girlfriend puts you in life-threatening events?”

“Technically I put myself in them.” Shichi said casually, looking off into the distance thoughtfully and not even noticing the boiling rage that was beginning to shine just beneath the surface of the lynx standing across from him. “But they end up resolving our previous issues so I guess it’s fine.”

Shichi glanced over at Kazimir, wondering why his eyes looked a little darker now than they had earlier, but continuing on his small rant anyway. “As a matter of fact, if it weren’t for me putting myself in life-threatening danger, we wouldn’t have started dating in the first place.”

Kazimir completely froze in place at this, his hands still resting on Shichi’s shoulders, and his grin now looking like he’d put it there earlier and then forgotten it existed.  
“What exactly…did you do?” Kazimir asked, fingers tightening bit by bit as his blue eyes tore right into Shichi’s soul.

“I played Russian Roulette in order to prove myself worthy of the assassin training program.” Shichi said instantly, flinching away from the intense eyes burrowing into him, practically making him spit out the words. “Because Valeriya said I didn’t belong there.”

Kazimir stared at Shichi for several seconds, and Shichi stared up at Kazimir neither one of them moving.

“What…” Kazimir said slowly, pulling back an arm from Shichi’s shoulder.

“Were…” He said next, fingers curling into a tight fist as his eyes locked on Shichi.

“You…” He raised the fist high up in the air, Shichi seeing anger flash through the blue eyes for the first time ever.

“Thinking?!” The fist came crashing down right into Shichi’s cheek, sending the small teenager sprawling down onto the wooden porch of the compound.

Shichi hit the ground hard, ears ringing from the force of the impact as his jaw began to ache like crazy. “Ow! Geez, man! What was that for?” Shichi cried, rubbing his face with a wince as the pounding pain flooded his senses.

“What was that for?!” Kazimir repeated in outrage, grabbing the front of Shichi’s shirt and hauling him to his feet. “That was for playing Russian Roulette like some idiotic drunk mafia boss and scaring the living daylights out of me even though I know you’re obviously fine!” He shook Shichi back and forth like a rag doll, yelling at him angrily to get his point across. “Shichi, I don’t want anything to happen to you, and here you are, acting like a deranged lunatic!”

“I only did it one time!” Shichi managed to yell back despite the force jerking his body around uncontrollably. “Honest!”

“No excuses!” Kazimir snapped in response, smacking Shichi upside the head before shaking him some more. “That was one of the absolute dumbest things I’ve ever heard of a teenager doing and as much as I admire you for having the guts to do that, I’m ten times more pissed off at you for doing it in the first place!”

He dropped the teenager on his butt, turning to look at the training compound with a glare and rolling up his sleeves. “But I’m even _more_ angry at this Valeriya chick for leading you into doing it!”

“I-It’s not like she told me to!” Shichi yelped, honestly panicked over what Kazimir would do if he was angry enough.

No matter how good Valeriya was, she was still technically in training, despite having already killed a few people. Kazimir was a fully fledged member of the mafia, and if Shichi’s violently aching cheek was anything to go by, he was no joke either.

“Speak no more, my delicate flower!” Kazimir ordered, holding up a palm to Shichi without even looking down at him, all his anger now redirected to Valeriya inside. “I’m about to go skin me a snake.”

“First off, you just punched your “delicate flower” in the face.” Shichi said flatly, glaring at the crazy idiot about to go fight his girlfriend. “And second off, Valeriya isn’t a snake! She’s my terrible, rotten girlfriend! I just complained to you about her, remember?”

“All the more reason to get rid of the competition!” Kazimir declared, readying his fist as he started marching for the door. “I have two good reasons to give that girl a piece of my mind. One, she’s an endangerment to you that doesn’t even make you all that happy. Two, there’s the simple rule of I SAW YOU FIRST that she is clearly not abiding by!”

“I honestly can’t tell which of your motives are driving you to want to beat her up more, but can I just stop you before you do?” Shichi yelled, running in between Kazimir and the door and shooting him a harsh glare. “I mean seriously! She’s like half your size and skill level! Cut her some slack!”

“Shichi, as much as I love you,” Kazimir said sweetly, grabbing Shichi by his shoulders and moving him to the side. “I’m unfortunately one of those jealous types that needs to beat up people who get romantically involved with my love interests. Also, I want you to be happy and if you were willing to complain to _me_ about how miserable this girl makes you, then she clearly isn’t the best girlfriend for you to have.”

“Kazimir!” Shichi yelled, grabbing the man’s arm and pulling as hard as he could to get the one-minded idiot away from the door. “Leave it alone!”

“No!” Kazimir argued, turning around to glare at Shichi as the teenage hung stubbornly onto his arm. “I’m going in there!”

“No, you’re not!” Shichi snapped back, shoving his face in Kazimir’s with a glare every bit as fierce.

“Yes, I am!” Kazimir snarled, shoving his face further into Shichi’s and smashing their foreheads together.

“No, you’re not!” Shichi responded, pushing back as hard as he could, determination fueling his strength.

“Yes, I am!” Kazimir growled, eyes flashing as he shoved Shichi’s head back.

“No, you’re not!” Shichi yelled at the top of his lungs, fighting against Kazimir’s forehead as best as he could.

“Confusion bears witness to strange events, but none as strange as that which comes out of nowhere.” A voice said from behind them, causing both men to turn around and stare at a figure in the snow.

“Viktor.” Shichi said in shock, staring at the grocery bags in the Russian redhead’s arms as he watched them with a shocked face. “Y-You’re back from your shopping trip.”

“And just who is Viktor?” Kazimir demanded, glaring at the aphorism-spouting boy menacingly. “Do I need to take care of him, too?”

“Jesus, no!” Shichi yelled, cramming his forehead against Kazimir’s and glaring at him again. “Viktor is a good friend who speaks in philosophical wisdom!”

“Well that sounds really weird!” Kazimir yelled back, pushing his head against Shichi’s with just as much strength.

“It _is_ weird!” Shichi practically screamed, not even sure why they were yelling at each other anymore.

“The romance blooming in secret causes the most pain.” Viktor said sadly, shaking his head at the two of them. “For the torn lovers involved in their fiery passion, and for the embittered lover left out in the cold.”

Shichi and Kazimir both stared at him, not quite comprehending what he had just said. “Romance blooming in secret?” Shichi wondered, his arms still wrapped tightly around one of Kazimir’s as he pressed up against the larger man’s body. “What is he talking about?”

“No idea.” Kazimir responded, staring in utter confusion at Viktor as one of his arms slipped casually around Shichi’s waist, holding him securely in place against him.

Viktor stared at the both of them, clearly not seeing how they weren’t understanding his meaning, and eventually just sighed and shook his head. “The hidden passion of the fiery lovers dulls in comparison to their blatant idiocy.” He bemoaned, walking up to the front door on the porch to get out of the snow storm.

“Is he calling us idiots?” Shichi demanded, glaring at his friend’s back as the boy opened the compound door.

“I thought he was calling us fiery lovers.” Kazimir said suggestively, cheerfulness restored as he wiggled his eyebrows at Shichi.

“What? He was not!” Shichi denied, pushing against Kazimir’s face as he finally realized just what kind of position he was in. His face paled when he thought of Viktor telling on them and Valeriya marching out to find them like this, in some kind of weird embrace. Oh no…she was already pissed off at him…imagine what she’d do to him if she thought he was cheating on her!

“Let me go, let me go, let me go, let me go, let me go!” Shichi chanted frantically, shoving against Kazimir’s face and praying for the strong arm to undo its grip on him. As nice as it felt to be held up against this muscular body…no! No, snap out of it, Shichi! You were straight! You were the man in a relationship between a male and a female! No male on male stuff here! None of it!

“I am not gay!” Shichi declared, pounding on Kazimir’s chest in desperation as the threat of Valeriya coming out to find them grew. “I am not gay and I am not in control of this relationship!”

“You’re right about that last part.” Kazimir agreed, his eyes twinkling as he leaned in towards Shichi with a grin. “You’re totally the bottom here.”

“What?” Shichi gawked in outrage, his face flaming red as Kazimir chuckled at him. “I-I am _not_ the bottom!”

“Oh, yes you are, my delicate flower.” Kazimir laughed, poking Shichi playfully on the bruise that was beginning to form on his face. “I mean, I literally had you on the floor for me two seconds ago.”

“You punched me down to the ground! That hardly counts!” Shichi yelled, shoving at Kazimir’s chest and praying for this nightmare to end. The innuendos had started up again. He would almost take the angry Kazimir trying to murder his girlfriend over the horrible innuendos. “I want nothing to do with you! I’m not attracted to you in any way! And I very much happen to be a top not a bottom, thank you!”

“That’s not what your body told me when I kissed you in the shower that one time.” Kazimir whispered mischievously in Shichi’s ear, causing the teenager to freeze up in horror. “In fact, I would say that your body said the exact opposite then.”

“I-I-It did not.” Shichi protested weakly, swallowing as the memory of that first kiss suddenly resurfaced in his mind. He had worked so hard to suppress that memory! So hard to try and forget that heated moment that he tried to deny the existence of! The water pounding around him. The tall man standing in front of him. The…the lips that pressed against his…the feeling of those strong hands on his body…

“No!” Shichi yelped, slapping himself in the face as he reddened up even further. “S-Stop playing mind games with me, Kazimir! I-I did no such thing as that! I’m not a bottom! I’m not attracted to you!”

“If I were to kiss you right now,” Kazimir purred, making Shichi look up at him in shock. Kazimir’s blue eyes twinkled in delight at the smaller boy as he said, “Would you change your words?”

Now if Shichi sacrificed his pride and said “yes”, Kazimir probably wouldn’t do anything. He might laugh and tease Shichi incessantly about it later, but he would probably let Shichi go without a single thing happening.

But if Shichi held onto the last shreds of his dignity and said “no”, he was almost certain that Kazimir would kiss him and try to prove him wrong. And who knew what kind of calamity would befall him if that happened.

Still…Shichi wasn’t willing to let go of his pride! And even though he wouldn’t admit it to himself…he sort of wanted Kazimir to kiss him again.

“N-No.” Shichi got out as firmly as he could, glaring fiercely at the tall man above him.

“I was hoping you would say that!” Kazimir sang happily, grinning in a way that was almost wicked as he started to lean down towards the quavering Shichi. “Maybe…I can prove you wrong now.”

Shichi bit his lip, trying not to let his knees give in as those lips approached his, his eyelids fluttering shut of their own free will as his mouth parted slightly in expectation. This was wrong. This was so, so wrong and Shichi was clearly hallucinating this.

Yes, that was it! He’d been standing out in the cold for so long, that he was now hallucinating. Uh huh. Mystery solved. There was no Kazimir bending down to give him the second hottest kiss of his life right now. No sir. It was just Shichi, hallucinating on the front porch, probably looking like an idiot as he puckered his lips for the snow storm.

But when the first brush of those lips hit his…he had to admit that the hallucination felt pretty real.

“K-Kazimir.” Shichi managed to sigh out, unable to help himself as Kazimir got ready to deepen the kiss.

“Shichi!” A high voice screeched, very different from the one that Shichi had been expecting to hear.

Shichi and Kazimir’s heads both snapped around in surprise to see one very shocked, very angry, very jealous Valeriya Spasky, snarling like a wolf at the both of them.

Shichi was wrapped in Kazimir’s arms, Kazimir had him all but reciting his name in pleasure, and they had been quite clearly involved in the beginnings of a kiss right as Valeriya walked out to see them.

Yep. There was the well-placed event of utter misfortune that Shichi had been waiting for from the universe.

Personally, he blamed Kazimir.

_“Отвинчивай свою жизнь (Otvinchivay svoyu zhizn'/Screw my life).”_ Shichi said flatly, wishing he could’ve just been born as a cheeseburger.

***

_“Izaya, I’m going to have to leave you there for the night.”_ Shichi sneezed on the other end, sounding absolutely miserable. _“I have a bit of a cold right now and my throat is getting sore from talking.”_

“Screw your sore throat! What happened after that?” Izaya demanded, jumping up and glaring at the phone. “Chug some medicine and get back to telling the story!”

“That’s not how medicine works, my delicate flower.” Shizuo said gently, plucking the phone out of Izaya’s hand. “And if you don’t want Shichi to get worse and be unable to finish the story at all next Friday, we need to give him some time to recover.”

_“Thank you, Shizuo.”_ A miserable Shichi said on the other end. _“You are a savior from above.”_

“Savior.” Izaya muttered angrily, folding his arms and glaring at the phone. “He’s a ruiner! A ruiner of my mental health! I have to hear the end of this cliffhanger, Shichi! It’s required for my Kazichi ship!”

_“Kazichi?”_ Shichi coughed on the other side of the phone. _“What the heck is Kazichi?”_

“Uh, nothing you need to know about!” Izaya said hurriedly, looking over at the phone in panic and grabbing it from Shizuo. “Shizu-chan is right! You ought to rest up and relax for a while. Your health is the most important thing after all!”

_“Izaya…”_ Shichi began to say threateningly on the other end. _“What is Kaz-”_

“Bye!” Izaya sang, hitting the end call button and turning off his phone as quickly as possible.

Shizuo stared at the phone for a little while, a small smile beginning to come over the blonde’s face. "Right...so we hope you enjoyed this episode of "Shichi's Adventures in Russia"!" Shizuo said with a grin, looking at his own phone camera. "We'll see you next time for Episode Twelve: Fight Night! Valeriya versus Kazimir! Will it actually end up in a fight or will it be a cat fight? I...honestly don't know. We'll find out eventually. Bye!"

Shizuo turned off the video camera on his phone and then looked back down at Izaya's blissfully silent phone, a strange mixture of mischief and delight beginning to twinkle in his eyes. “You know, he’s not likely to let that Kazichi thing go.” He pointed out, patting Izaya’s head fondly. “He’ll be stewing about it all week.”

“Let him stew. It gives me a chance to plot my escape.” Izaya said nervously, looking around the apartment like he was already considering it.

Shizuo laughed at that, kissing the top of the raven’s head affectionately. “Don’t worry. If Shichi comes for you, I’m sure that you and me together will be enough to take him.” He promised, wrapping an arm around his boyfriend’s shoulders and leading him off to bed.

“Are you sure?” Izaya asked suspiciously, glancing over his shoulder.

“Absolutely.” Shizuo replied, trying not to laugh at his adorable love partner. “Because you’re twice as terrifying as any Valeriya and I’m twice as strong as any Kazimir. Together, we’ll scare the pants right off Shichi before he gets within ten feet of us.”

“I love the way your minds works, Shizu-chan.”

“I know, ‘Zaya. I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that was Kazimir's response to Shichi's girlfriend and idiotic act of Russian Roulette!
> 
> The real question here: did Kazimir purposefully sabotage their relationship by kissing Shichi, or was it just a happy coincidence for the lynx? No one knows...
> 
> In any case, I'm just going to remind you all again that my next update will probably be either very late on Friday, or not even make it to Friday at all! It could very well end up being on Saturday or Sunday! And this is due to my college orientation. Wish me luck at that (although I don't think I need to necessarily do anything...well, I probably need some luck at making friends so wish me luck on doing that!) and I hope to see you all with the next update!
> 
> Bye! <3


	13. Fight Night! Valeriya vs. Kazimir! (Ночной бой! Валерия против Казимира!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright! So this will be a VERY short note because I'm very tired and I want to go to bed! XD
> 
> My orientation still has some kind of hypnotist show activity going on right now but it was optional so I decided to come up here and post this as quick as I could! Sorry it was so ridiculously late! But hey, at least we got it in there!
> 
> Hope you like it! This was written on the fly in between hotels and stuff on the way to my college and I haven't had time to edit yet but I hope it's still okay!
> 
> See you at the end! <3

“Okay so today we’re doing this episode in a different place than usual.” Izaya declared, waving sheepishly at his phone as scenery blurred by behind him. “Because me and Shizu-chan and our families are actually going on a bit of a trip together for a quick break from school.”

“Hello world.” Shizuo said grumpily, his head leaning on Izaya’s shoulder and his hair mussed from a night spent sleeping in the car. “I’m tired and grumpy. Please don’t talk to me.”

“Today, I’m filming everything on my phone instead of using Shizu-chan’s.” Izaya said cheerfully, ruffling Shizuo’s hair with a fond grin. “Because Shizu-chan is too tired and lazy to get his own phone out right now. And also because I don’t need to use my own phone for a phone call today since…”

Izaya flipped the camera around to point at a man in the shotgun seat who was watching them in the backseat with a single raised eyebrow, looking like he had no idea what was wrong with them as he wrestled with the map up front. 

“Shichi is right here with us!” Izaya called cheerfully, the camera directed indeed at Shichi, his icy blonde hair shining with a pale light and his icy blue eyes narrowed in suspicion at his adopted son.

“Izaya.” The Russian asked, voice laced with doubt as he looked Izaya up and down. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Ooh! Daddy said a bad wooord!” Mairu sang, bouncing in her seat beside Izaya in delight, leaning over into his other shoulder as the car drove along, her twin Kururi leaning into her in turn. “Daddy is cursing.” Kururi agreed, smiling up at their father as her tiny hand clutched one of Izaya’s fingers.

“Hell is hardly a curse word.” Kasuka added with a shrug, his squished space in between the window and Shizuo on the other side of the car barely allowing the simple shoulder movement. “I think your father is fine.”

“Exactly.” Shichi nodded in approval from the front, flicking out the map and trying to figure out where they were on it once again. “But don’t you go saying it anyways.”

“What great advice!” Kichirou laughed from the driver’s seat, humming as he passed another car on the winding road. “Truly Shichi, you are the prime example of a parent.”

“Trust me, I never pictured myself as a parent.” Shichi muttered, squinting at the jumbled up mess of lines before him. “This situation was a complete accident.”

“Never call your children an accident.” Namiko scolded from her place crushed in between the two men in the front seat, smacking the ex-assassin on his arm. “They are precious miracles and gifts from above delivered through sacred grace to each of us in order to light our lives.”

Shichi stared at Namiko for a few seconds, his icy eyes flicking back to look at Mairu and Kururi pulling at each other’s hair, cackling like maniacs as they fought in the back, and Izaya grinning evilly as he pointed the phone camera right at the icy man.

“Right.” Shichi said flatly, turning back to the map in his hands. “Precious miracles plotting evil in the backseat.”

“Oh Shichi.” Namiko sighed, rolling her eyes and looking out the front. “You are hopeless.”

“Yes I am.” Shichi declared, turning the map this way and that with a sigh. “This thing is way too hard for any normal person to read.”

“Same, dude!” Kichirou cried, briefly sticking his hand out the window to shoot someone a rather rude gesture as he passed them on the road. “Maps are terrible.”

“Kichirou!” Namiko snapped, smacking at her husband’s arm with a glare. “Don’t do things like that in front of the girls!”

“They didn’t see!” Kichirou protested, looking briefly over his shoulder at the two little kids still blissfully unaware in the backseat as they battled. “It’s fine.”

“And you’re the shining example of a parent because?” Shichi asked sweetly, batting his eyelashes at Kichirou as the car rocketed along.

Kichirou scowled and waved a dismissive hand in the air. “Hey, I’ve already finished raising _my_ kids. I get a pass.” He huffed, not even looking at the snickering Shichi.

“Father, you’re still raising me.” Kasuka reminded him from the backseat, emotionless face locked on the driving man.

“Meh. You hardly count.” Kichirou responded, glaring as he started to come up on a long line of traffic. “Oh perfect. Now we’ll get to sit in place for hours. Someone do something interesting to pass the time!”

“That’s my cue!” Izaya cheered with a grin, practically shoving the camera in Shichi’s face, startling the Russian man into dropping the map. “Geez, Izaya!” Shichi yelled, glaring at his son as he bent over to grab the folded paper of evil. “What are you trying to get me to do?”

“Get rid of the cliffhanger you left me on last time!” Izaya whined, making sure Shichi’s face was still filling the camera frame. “I need to know what happens!”

“And I need to know what “Kazichi” is.” Shichi responded, putting the ship name in air quotes as he glared at the raven. “But you won’t tell me that, either.”

“I’ll tell you if you give me closure.” Izaya promised, holding out his hand for a shake.

Shichi looked at it skeptically, thinking about the pros and cons of making a deal with the devil. He looked out the front of the car, taking in the strings of lights from vehicles lined up in front of them, all honking impatiently and none moving even an inch for their troubles.

The Russian man sighed, shaking Izaya’s hand with a tired look on his face. “Well, we have nothing better to do.” He muttered, clearly too done with life to argue.

“Yay!” Izaya cheered, zooming in slightly in preparation for the video. “And don’t worry! The twins won’t even hear a thing you say! Right girls?”

Mairu and Kururi just giggled loudly, still wrestling each other in the seats, oblivious to the world around them.

“Exactly.” Izaya said cheerfully, readying the camera at Shichi’s face. “Now go!”

“Ooh, storytime.” Kichirou said excitedly, putting the car in park and turning to look at Shichi with a grin. “Do tell, my friend. Come on! Spill the beans!”

“Give us the gossip.” Namiko added eagerly, pushing at Shichi’s arm.

“Tell us your darkest secrets.” Kasuka agreed flatly, also watching Shichi with unabashed attention.

Only Shizuo and the twins didn’t say anything, one too tired to do anything but look up and grunt at the man, and the other two not even caring.

Shichi was outnumbered.

The Russian sighed, giving the phone camera a suspicious look as though he wasn’t sure why it was necessary but knew Izaya wouldn’t let him speak unless the camera was there, and got ready to tell his story.

“After Valeriya came out and saw us,” The man began, wincing a little at the memory before he even got into it. “Things became…a little heated. To put it mildly…”

***

After Shichi made his tired wish of transfiguration into fast food, he stepped out of Kazimir’s arms right away, hurriedly rushing over to Valeriya’s side and trying to explain to his angry girlfriend what was happening. Using some choice words at all the right times, he managed to convince her that he and Kazimir meant nothing to each other. Kazimir was just an overly physical friend who liked to kiss his friends and she’d walked in at the absolute worst time. Afterwards, Valeriya gave Shichi a short kiss (a slightly forceful one just to prove to Kazimir what was going on) the two of them headed back inside the compound, previous argument forgotten, and Kazimir returned to whatever he’d been doing. There was no conflict. No argument. No massive fight that nearly destroyed Egor’s front door. It all went as perfect as perfect could be and Shichi’s denial of his feelings remained completely intact.

In Shichi’s deluded little mind.

In reality, things went nowhere near as well.

Shichi had been too exhausted and done with life to force himself out of Kazimir’s arms. His legs were tired, his heart felt heavy, his cheek was still stinging like a bitch where Kazimir had slugged him, and he honestly just wanted to take a little cat nap right there on the porch. Valeriya’s normally so electrifying presence and furious blue eyes only exhausted Shichi even further, despite the situation he knew he was in.

His body sunk a little bit towards Kazimir, knees getting too tired to hold himself up securely in the freezing night air, and Kazimir’s arms wrapped confidently around him, switching their position from one that just held Shichi in place to one that was holding him up as well, keeping Shichi balanced against his broad chest. Shichi sighed as he leaned against Kazimir, too tired to do anything else, and Kazimir lifted one hand to his hair, running his fingers soothingly through the blonde strands.

“Are you tired, darling?” Kazimir asked gently, his deep voice rumbling throughout his chest against Shichi’s cold cheek. “I can take you inside if you want.”

“Mm.” Shichi managed to say in response, icy eyes closing in exhaustion. “…Should probably deal with Val first.”

“Damn right you have to deal with me first!” Valeriya snapped, yet again preventing Shichi from finding peace as she marched over to them, her eyes flashing in fury.

One of her hands grabbed one of Shichi’s shoulders, yanking Shichi harshly away from Kazimir with a growl. Or at least she tried to.

Kazimir’s arms didn’t budge as Shichi’s body weakly rammed against the cage they formed, the tall man glaring down darkly at Valeriya.

“So you’re the snake Shichi’s dating?” Kazimir asked coldly, his voice more deadly and serious than Shichi had ever heard it.

“Yes.” Valeriya said hotly, glaring right back up at Kazimir as her cheeks began to flare red, hand still firmly gripping Shichi’s shoulder. “This cheating buffoon is my pathetic excuse for a boyfriend. What of it?”

“There’s no call for name calling and slandering.” Shichi muttered against Kazimir’s chest, humming pleasantly at the warmth emanating from the huge man. “I’m just…relaxing.”

“R-Relaxing?!” Valeriya repeated in shock, gaping at her boyfriend. 

"Yes." Shichi mumbled in response, wishing she would drop the subject. "I'm relaxing with one of my...acquaintances."

Kazimir huffed a little, seeming a bit miffed by the title, but Valeriya's rage swiftly cut him off before he could say anything about it.

"Making out with an acquaintance is your version of relaxing?" The Russian girl demanded, eyes flashing with fury as she pointed a harsh finger at Kazimir. "Moaning someone's name without shame is your version of relaxing?"

"You better watch what you say next, girl." Kazimir said in a low voice, his eyes narrowing at the furious teenager. "Because I get the feeling that whatever it is won't make me very happy."

Valeriya looked right at Kazimir, her eyes meeting his defiantly, before turning to Shichi and saying, "Your version of relaxing is giving some massive man a good-time call and rubbing yourself all over him like some horny fa-”

A hand clapped over the assassin-in-training’s mouth to cut her off, normally cheerful eyes shining with a dangerous light as a deep glare settled on the girl. “And I was correct." Kazimir growled darkly, his eyes locked on Valeriya's much smaller form. "Don't you _dare_ talk about Shichi like that. He is not cheating, stupid, pathetic, horny, or anything else you think you know he is. You don’t know a single thing about your precious boyfriend here.”

Shichi paused where he stood, head slowly tilting up to glance at Kazimir’s face looming above him, harsh features carved into a fierce glare directed right at Valeriya.

“Kazimir…” Shichi said softly, unsure of what the fluttering feeling in his chest was as he replayed the man’s words in his head. They sounded foreign to him. Slightly out-of-place yet right, like they’d never belonged to Shichi before, but for some reason fit perfectly into his life now.

That was the first time. The first time anyone had ever defended him. Kazimir was the first person to defend Shichi against anyone else.

Now Shichi didn’t need anyone to defend him. He’d grown up fighting his own battles, holding his own against the universe and its cruel tricks, and forcing himself through this ridiculous rollercoaster of doom called life. He was perfectly capable of taking care of himself and proving himself (albeit sometimes in stupid ways…like by playing Russian Roulette) without anyone else’s help.

But to have someone else stand up for him, defend him like he was actually worth something, and look so damn determined while doing it…it felt nice. It felt really, really nice.

“Kazimir.” Shichi said again, pushing away from Kazimir’s chest, marveling at the way Kazimir’s arms just dropped from around him, letting him do exactly what he wanted. Treating him like he knew what he was doing and that his decisions were as valid as anybody’s else’s.

“Thank you.” Shichi said honestly, smiling up at Kazimir and placing a gentle hand on the hardened cheek. Kazimir’s eyes instantly flicked down to lock with Shichi’s, the tall man’s gaze softening as soon as it landed on the boy standing there.

“Thank you.” Shichi repeated, absently rubbing his thumb over Kazimir’s cheek as he smiled. “For saying that.”

Kazimir’s eyes widened in surprise just the tiniest bit, like he was shocked at the actual accepting response from Shichi instead of the usual harsh rejection, and his lips parted to say something to the waiting teenager.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Valeriya’s screeching voice cut in instead, replacing Kazimir’s sexy deep voice with her witch cackle. “Shichi, quit acting like some gay idiot and get over here.”

Her hand easily yanked Shichi away from Kazimir now that the tall man wasn’t holding Shichi securely in place, slamming him harshly into the wall of the compound beside her. She sent a cold glare right into his soul, jabbing a finger in his startled face. “You need to keep away from this old pervert, got it?” She hissed, turning back to Kazimir as though she intended to tell the huge man to stay away from Shichi as well.

But instead of Kazimir clapping another hand over her mouth to shut her up, Shichi spoke out instead. “Hey, Kaz is my friend.” He said with a growl, glaring right at the Russian girl’s back. “And he’s not an old pervert.”

“Thank you!” Kazimir beamed brightly, thrilled that Shichi had moved on from the pedophile insults.

“He’s a young pervert.” Shichi added next, crushing Kazimir’s hopes instantly.

“Thank you.” Kazimir repeated sullenly, sighing heavily into the night air. “Well, at least I’m young now instead of pedophilic.”

“How can you possibly be defending this guy?” Valeriya asked in shock, gaping at Shichi as she gestured towards Kazimir. “He’s a creepy old man who’s clearly trying to take advantage of you!”

“First off, Snake Girl,” Kazimir called, cracking his knuckles as he shot Valeriya a wide grin. “Only Shichi is allowed to call me creepy or old. He’s got dibs and trademark rights on those insults.”

Kazimir’s gaze hardened after this, the man lowering himself slightly into a fighting stance, his eyes locked right on Valeriya before him. “And second, from my point of view, _you’re_ the one who’s trying to take advantage of Shichi. Keeping him away from his friends? Telling him what to do? Acting like some jealous witch and slurring him before you even figure out what’s going on? I think those are all pretty significant pointers to a toxic relationship, honey.”

Valeriya’s shocked gaze immediately turned to one of livid rage, her head snapping around as she glared at Kazimir with a snarl. “Oh, it’s on now, buddy!” She yelled, readying into her own fighting position as her eyes flashed brightly. “You and me, right here!”

“Are we fighting for the right to say that you’re a pile of toxic sludge or are we fighting over Shichi?” Kazimir asked sweetly, smiling brightly at the snarling girl across from him. “Because I will gladly fight for either.”

“As if you even have a chance with Shichi!” Valeriya snapped, her face burning bright red as she got ready to attack. “He’s clearly into me more than you!”

“Oh, is that so? How many times has he moaned your name in pleasure when you make out?” Kazimir pointed out innocently, blue eyes wide with false purity. “Because when I took his first kiss while we were making out in the shower, I had to have gotten at least ten moans then.”

Valeriya’s eyes widened, her eyes flicking over to look at Shichi one last time.

Shichi laughed nervously when he saw the shock in her gaze, scratching at the back of his head and refusing to meet her eyes directly, choosing to stare instead up at the sky. “Wow. Lots of nice stars out.” He said weakly, trying to ignore the burning gaze branding his face.

“ _That’s_ your response?” A voice asked incredulously. “Why not just admit it, Shichi? Just say “Kazimir makes me hot in ways you never could and I want to make out with him, not you”. How hard can that be?”

Shichi looked down with a choking sound at the door to the compound, spotting Aleksander’s grinning face right there, looking at him with sparkling blue eyes flecked with gray. “Just say it!” His friend insisted, looking over at Kazimir and letting his gaze look the huge man up and down. “I mean, if I were gay then I would certainly be having a bit of a reaction to a fine man like that.”

“Have you no shame?!” Shichi hissed, grabbing his friend’s arm and looking nervously back at Kazimir. “H-He’s…w-well it’s just…it’s not like that!” His face was bright red as he glared at Aleksander, wishing the outspoken teen hadn’t come out yet. “It’s not! Got it?”

“Viktor said it was.” Aleksander shrugged, then paused briefly as if thinking about what Viktor had said. “At least…I _think_ that’s what “The cub’s passionate love hidden deep within his heart boils fierce for the lynx, not the vixen” means.”

“Viktor called me a vixen?” Valeriya asked in shock, once again only focusing on the part that concerned her. Everything was always about her.

Aleksander glared at Valeriya at this, turning his gaze on Shichi with a huff. “Dump her for the hot tattooed guy.” He said in the flattest voice that Shichi had ever heard him use. “I’m serious, Shichi. Leave her.”

“I’m coming after you next, traitor!” Valeriya called threateningly, waving a fist in the air at Aleksander in fury.

“The boasting voice of love must defeat love’s purity before taking its violence elsewhere.” A wise voice called, Viktor joining them at the door to the compound and nodding at Valeriya meaningfully.

“What?” Valeriya frowned in confusion, staring at Viktor with a wrinkled brow. “What the heck does that mean?”

“It means you have to get through me before you even try beating up your classmates!” A deep voice growled before a fist flew through the air and slammed right into Valeriya’s stomach, sending her slamming onto the ground.

“Oh my god!” Shichi yelped, looking in horror at the sprawled assassin-in-training on the ground. “Valeriya!”

“No, no, no. No helping.” Aleksander said swiftly, holding an arm out in front of Shichi as he eagerly watched Kazimir pad towards Valeriya. “This is a beautiful moment for your love life, for our mental health and self-esteem, and the country of Russia in general. We must observe in revered silence.”

“Seriously?” Shichi asked, glaring at Aleksander. “You just want to see Valeriya get beat up.”

“That’s beside the point.” Aleksander scoffed, waving a dismissive hand in the air as he leaned in towards the fight. “Now let’s pay attention.”

“It is always right to observe your elders in practice.” Viktor agreed, looking eagerly at Valeriya as she climbed to her feet, hissing at Kazimir.

“You two are horrible.” Shichi muttered, looking over in worry as the curse of his life stalked towards his ticked-off girlfriend.

Valeriya snapped a quick kick at Kazimir’s head as the tall man got close to her, Kazimir’s hand coming up to catch it and then fling it away fiercely, throwing the girl off balance so he could slam his shoulder into her body, sending her sprawling back down onto the ground.

“Look, I don’t like beating up people who are smaller than me.” Kazimir sighed, looking down in pity at the short girl as she flipped back up onto her feet, sending another kick right at his knee.

Kazimir managed to step back so the kick that would’ve sent his knee buckling the wrong way missed, scowling at the fierce girl as she reared back for another attack.

“But you are seriously making me rethink my morals.” The tall man growled, anger flashing briefly through his eyes as he latched onto Valeriya’s arm, twisting it swiftly behind her back and kicking her forward, releasing her arm so that she would crash forward again.

But that move didn't exactly work out the way Kazimir had planned.

Valeriya flipped forward onto her hands instead of crashing down, rocking her weight forward and then swinging her feet back, sending her heels smashing right into Kazimir’s eyes.

Kazimir gave a low grunt of pain, flinging one arm over his eyes and swiping the other harshly right to smack her legs away from his eyes, jumping back out of their reach as she bent low on her hands and tried to knock his legs out from underneath him with hers.

Kazimir lowered the arm in front of his eyes, blinking a few times as Valeriya flipped to her feet and sprang at him, trying to overpower the massive man with speed before he could recover.

Shichi could feel a short bolt of fear run through his heart as the wicked-fast girl slipped a knife out of her sleeve, getting ready to drive it into Kazimir’s arm with a nasty grin. The blade gleamed in the lamplight from down the street, perfectly illuminating the sharp edge that was ready to plunge into Kazimir’s unsuspecting flesh.

And at this point, Shichi was fairly certain that she wasn’t fighting for him anymore. No. Right now, Valeriya was fighting to try and murder this man.

“Kazimir.” Shichi breathed out in fear, taking a step towards the tall man before he could stop himself.

Kazimir’s eyes flickered over to meet with Shichi’s, the two of their blue gazes met, and Shichi saw…absolute calm. Utter confidence. Total control. No fear or worry at all. As a matter of fact there was even a twinkle of amusement, as though he thought it was funny that Shichi felt Valeriya was a threat. 

Shichi couldn’t understand that look. A knife was hurtling towards him at high speed. At a pace that Kazimir had no chance to stop. And who even knew what Valeriya had planned after that?

Before Shichi could try and read into the mysterious look further though, he registered Kazimir’s arm shifting ever so slightly as the knife came towards it, and then holding in place as the blade drove into his body.

It plunged all the way into the hilt, Valeriya’s eyes sparkling with delight as her weapon sank in, blood dripping swiftly from the wound as the girl laughed in delight. “Got you!” She cried, changing her grip so that she could rip the wound open further.

“Kazimir!” Shichi cried in shock, eyes locked on the knife sinking so deep into his muscular arm.

“Lynx!” Viktor shouted beside him, face going pale with fright.

“My lord and savior!” Aleksander yelled at the same time, reaching out towards Kazimir in despair. “You can’t do this to me!”

Viktor and Shichi both stopped and stared at Aleksander, the Russian boy glancing over at them and laughing nervously as he scratched the back of his head, clearly trying to think his way out of that. “Uh…what?” He eventually said defensively, crossing his arms and turning back to the fight. “We need him to rid us of Valeriya’s evilness. He’s our savior.”

“I’m flattered to think that.” Kazimir said brightly, pulling all their attentions back over to him. He grinned right at Shichi, eyes sparkling as that knife remained firmly plunged in his arm, Valeriya’s eyes widening as she tried to tug on it and realized that it wouldn’t budge at all.

“But you don’t need to worry about me.” The tall man continued, reaching his hand around and gripping Valeriya’s wrist, looking down at her with a smile as he moved his arm slowly out of her reach, tilting his arm so that the knife slowly slid out of his arm with a sickening sound, thudding to the porch below them. All of the recruits looked at the hole left in Kazimir’s arm, their eyes nearly popping out of their skulls when they saw what was there.

“Y-You’re a cyborg!” Aleksander screeched, gawking in awe at the slowly bleeding arm.

“A man married to machine brings strength from both.” Viktor agreed, his own eyes wider than Shichi had ever seen them, locked on that injury as well.

“You have gray stuff in your arm!” Shichi cried much less eloquently, staring at the gleaming metal they could all clearly see intermixed with the bloody flesh of Kazimir’s arm.

Kazimir chuckled at that comment, winking at Shichi as he pulled the sides of the wound apart further, revealing the two shiny walls of metal that the knife had slid right in between. So that was why Valeriya hadn’t been able to move the knife at all. She’d been trying to cut into solid metal!

“W-What’s wrong with you?” Valeriya asked in shock, stumbling back as she pulled a gun out of her pocket, one of those tiny pocket pistols that Shichi absolutely despised practicing with, aiming it at Kazimir with a snarl. “You are no normal man!”

“No.” Kazimir said calmly, lowering his bleeding arm and readying himself to fight, even without a weapon of his own. “I’m not.”

But before anything else that was absolutely ridiculous, insane, or belonged in a science fiction movie could happen, a deep voice cut into the fight between the two formidable opponents.

“Valeriya, desist immediately.”

Every head turned to the snow-covered pathway leading up to the compound as a figure walked down it, piercing gray eyes seeming to cut into all of them as it approached. Two grocery bags hung from the figure’s thin fingers, swinging slightly in the icy Russian wind but still held firmly in a grip that everyone there knew could snap a man’s spine in less than three seconds. And the man doing the snapping wouldn’t even blink twice at the action of murdering a fellow human being.

He was the Philosophical Murder Machine after all.

“Egor.” Shichi breathed as his teacher walked up to the porch, face unreadable. “I didn’t know you weren’t in the compound.”

“Yeah! You said we needed permission to leave the compound!” Aleksander complained, glaring at Egor fiercely. “What’s up with that?”

“I said you need my permission to leave the compound. I don’t need anyone’s permission to leave – I own the compound.” Egor said calmly, nodding at Kazimir in respect.

_“Рысь (Rys/Lynx).”_ He said simply. “I didn’t call for you to come and beat up my recruits yet. Why are you here?”

“My delicate flower was unhappy and needed some love.” Kazimir said brightly, his usual cheer restored as he straightened back up into a normal standing position, casually reaching into his pocket to pull out a roll of bandages, wrapping one around the small hole in his arm. “And so I came to battle for the glory of deflowering my delicate flower.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Shichi said quickly, waving his hands frantically back and forth in the air, his face flaming bright red. “N-No one’s “deflowering” this flower, okay? The flower decides who plants the seeds and when it gets the fertilizer. You get what I’m saying?”

“Sort of.” Aleksander shrugged, elbowing Shichi in the arm with a short snicker. “I’m getting the general idea that your cute little ass is still a virgin one!”

“Oh shut up, Aleks!” Shichi snapped, shoving his so-called best friend away from him with a glare. “Like you’re any better!”

“Before this conversation devolves into another pointless argument,” Egor sighed, walking up onto the porch and taking the mini gun from Valeriya’s shaking hand, slipping it into his pocket and giving her both his grocery bags in its place. “Let’s all head inside and get to bed. Aleksander, we all know you’re a virgin like Shichi and Valeriya. Viktor is the only one here who has ever…fertilized his seeds.”

“Viktor?!” All three of the recruits asked in shock, staring wide-eyed at their aphorism-spouting companion. Viktor simply shrugged at them all, a bit of a sly look in his icy blue eyes as he grinned. “Reality is better than a dream when I look at you; it is a masterpiece of existence.” He said smoothly, his voice sultry and low as he gestured towards them all.

The other recruits all stared at him for a few seconds, just taking in the fact that Viktor was the one speaking.

“Yep.” Aleksander finally said, nodding his head at the wise boy. “That would get me in bed with you.”

“Seriously, dude?” Shichi smacked his best friend upside the head, scowling at his idiocy. “You are way too easy. It’s a wonder that _you’re_ still a virgin.”

“Inside!” Egor commanded, his eyes flashing with a deadly light as he pointed a harsh finger at the compound entrance. “No more of this silly battle. Get in there!”

He gave an especially harsh look to Valeriya who instantly quailed under the glare of her teacher, scampering into the compound with her tail between her legs. The others followed her in more casually, but in quick succession, none of them exactly eager to disobey their murderous instructor.

Egor sighed at the arguing teenagers – his shining prodigies of the art of calculated and professional murder – then turned to look at Kazimir.

“Did you really show up to deflower my cub, _Рысь_?” The Philosophical Murder Machine asked, frowning at the huge man beside him. “Or are you here on more serious business?”

“I would say Shichi’s virginity being taken is pretty serious business.” Kazimir laughed cheerfully, his eyes flicking over to glare briefly at Valeriya as she looked back at him, the girl scowling and marching off out of his sight the instant their eyes locked. “Especially if it’s by that snake.”

“Do you not like Valeriya?” Egor asked smoothly, glancing after his recruits with a frown. “She is one of my strongest recruits yet.”

“She is too confident in her own abilities and she manipulates everyone around her as a result of her belief that she is superior to them.” Kazimir said instantly, snorting at Egor’s comment about the girl. “She started dating Shichi for reasons beyond me, but clearly wants to possess him now as a mere sign of status within your little compound. She feels as though all the others should listen to her every word. She was even willing to battle a complete stranger twice her size and experience for no better reason than to sustain her pride.” He chuckled a little as he thought about how angry Valeriya had looked when he mentioned taking Shichi’s first kiss and getting all those heated moans from the boy. “You should’ve seen her face when I implied Shichi enjoys being with me more than her.”

“Hm.” Egor hummed, frowning as he thought about it. “Valeriya does have a bit of a temper, doesn’t she? Knowing that…I wonder what I’ll do about my decision for top student.”

“An individual that jumps to action as swiftly as her against unknown forces would not make a good presentation for our branch.” Kazimir said honestly, tightening the bandage around his arm with a final tug. “Even if she is skilled, I would not recommend her for the top student to display to the heads.”

“Viktor then?” Egor wondered aloud, thinking about the calm boy. “But…his speed lacks greatly, as does his agility and general savage nature. He is more calculating, but less effective.”

“Might wanna nix him as well.” Kazimir sighed, rubbing the back of his neck and wondering if Shichi was thinking about him right now as he headed to bed. Or maybe he was thinking about how to make up with Valeriya. Blech. Kazimir sure hoped he’d wormed his way into Shichi’s thoughts at least enough to get him away from that snake. She was _not_ good for him.

“Aleksander is too impulsive and sporadic.” Egor muttered, pulling Kazimir back into the present. “He can get many things done in some of the shortest amounts of time I have ever seen, and he is impressive to watch. But he is definitely hit or miss when it comes to what he can and can’t do. I just can’t get him to round himself out. There are some things he will most likely never be able to do.”

“Not good for the demonstration. The heads like a variety of styles to be displayed.” Kazimir informed him, crossing his arms at his friend with a frown. “So that leaves you with…”

“The delicate flower.” Egor sighed, pressing his fingers to his temples and shaking his head. “The one who tried to shoot himself barely two weeks into his training. This will be quite a difficult decision. Were you here to remind me that it’s coming up?”

“Actually yes.” Kazimir admitted, reaching into his coat pocket and pulling out a small business card, handing it to the tired assassin. “You have one week to select your top student and set up a demonstration for that student to perform to the heads of our mafia branch. Please choose wisely.”

“I’ll try.” Egor muttered, taking the card and barely even glancing at it before slipping it into the folds of his own coat. “Please stop making my student question his sexuality while I do so, alright?”

“I make no promises!” Kazimir sang as he stepped off into the night, beginning his trek through the snow away from the compound. “My irresistible body has that boy all but begging for me now!”

“Only once you prevent him from running away from you!” Egor reminded his old friend with a smile, turning back to the entrance and walking in after his students. The last thing he heard was Kazimir’s cheerful laugh ringing on the wind, bringing a lightness to his heart despite the ominous business card in his coat that felt like an iron weight by his hip.

And whose head would that iron weight come crashing down on in a week? Take a wild guess.

***

“Okay Izaya, I’m going to stop there.” Shichi said cheerfully, clapping his hands to startle everyone in the car out of their reveries.

“What?” Kichirou cried in shock, reaching past his wife to grip Shichi’s shoulder, shaking it furiously with a glare. “How could you just stop like that? Keep going! You need to let us know who was selected.”

“He doesn’t need to tell us that! We already know it was him!” Izaya complained, lunging forward in the seat and pointing the camera right at Shichi’s face. “You just need to tell us how it went!”

“What if I don’t want to?” Shichi demanded, pulling up the map and scowling at it as he tried to figure it out again. “What if it’s too gruesome and I want to keep whatever little video podcast you have going G-rated?”

“We already passed that rating with our first Kazichi moment in the shower.” Izaya muttered, pulling the camera back to face him with a pout.

“The traffic started moving Kichirou.” Shichi said flatly, pointing at the road in front of them which was now starting to clear. “Get this car in gear before we become the next traffic block.”

Then he paused at Izaya’s muttered words, turning around suspiciously in his seat and glaring at his son. “Hey, you said you would tell me what that Kazichi thing is once I talked.” He growled, icy blue eyes locked with deep red orbs. “So spill! What the hell is Kazichi?”

“It’sashipnamefortheKazimirxShichicouplepairingbecausethatpairingisOTPanddeservesitsownshipname.” Izaya blurted out as quickly as possible, purposefully running his words together and then turning his attention on the phone in his hands, holding it up in front of him with a bright smile.

“So that was Episode Twelve: Fight Night! Valeriya versus Kazimir!” He said cheerfully, Shizuo finally sitting up and putting his own sleepy blonde head in the frame. “Join us next time for Episode Thirteen: The Cub Becomes a Bear.” He called.

“Episodes?” Shichi repeated incredulously, looking at the boys in the back in worry. “What are you talking about? And I didn’t understand a single thing you said in that slurred sentence before.”

“Before Shichi asks anymore questions, we’re going to end this broadcast!” Izaya chirped, waving frantically at the screen. 

“See you next time and sorry for the abrupt ending!” Shizuo added, hitting the end button on the phone.

“Give me that thing!” Shichi demanded, reaching into the back and scowling at his son. “What the heck are you doing with my life story?”

“Focus on the road, Shichi!” Namiko scolded, smacking Shichi’s arm and glaring at him. “You need to navigate. And I refuse to allow you to interfere with the upload schedule of my favorite web comic.”

“Web comic?!” Shichi yelped, his face paling. “What are you talk-”

“Just read the map, sweetie.” Namiko sang, patting Shichi’s arm and winking over her shoulder at Izaya and Shizuo. “And let the two lovebirds do whatever they want back there.”

Izaya gaped at Namiko, thinking that Shizuo’s mother truly was an angel more and more by the second.

“Your mother…is the best.” He said flatly, looking over at his boyfriend with wide eyes.

“I know.” Shizuo said proudly, smiling at the woman as he slung an arm around Izaya. “She really is.”

Shichi grumbling up in the front probably didn’t agree, having lost his chance to stop the comic in its tracks right then and there, but when Erika got the video later from Izaya, she most certainly did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! Well, that was the brief fight night between Shichi's two current love interests! Pretty obvious who's going to win that battle though, right? XD In any case, thanks for waiting so patiently for this thing, guys. I really am sorry that it took so long.
> 
> My orientation is a FIVE DAY EVENT that has activities planned FOR THE ENTIRE DAY FOR ALL FIVE DAYS. It's insane! I did not expect it at all! But I should have a normalish schedule by Friday, so we'll see if I have the next chapter up then. I might not depending on how well I've settled into the college routine and if I've found any time to write this next chapter.
> 
> Oh, and thanks to all of you who wished me luck at orientation! I did make some friends and it went really well! It all worked out!
> 
> Well, I'll see you next time I see you! Bye! <3


	14. The Cub Becomes a Bear (Куб становится медведем)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wrote all of this yesterday because between classes and my multi-day orientation to college, I had a heck of a time finding…well…time to write this stuff out. I hope it all came out okay, and I hope you guys are still liking the story as it progresses. We’re going to start doing more and more time skips here after this, probably speeding through most of his time after this one point (of course stopping for things like when he met Fluffles), and we’ll just have to see how the timeline progresses from there.
> 
> Anyways, hope you guys like the chapter! I’ll see you at the end! <3

“So a lot of people really liked the road trip idea we had last time.” Izaya commented absently, flipping through his psychology textbook with a hum, eyes skimming easily over the material. “So maybe we should do it again sometime. Have Shichi and the others with us for once, you know?”

“But not for this episode.” Shizuo cut in, shoving his head into the camera frame and glaring hard at the lens. “Because this time _Izaya_ needs to study for his test tomorrow, because _he_ didn’t do it when I told him to this morning.”

Shizuo turned to scowl at his raven-haired boyfriend, casually flipping through his textbook without a care in the world. “Hypocrite.”

“Hey, I don’t actually need to study for this thing.” Izaya said breezily, waving a dismissive hand in the air as he examined a model on the page. “I already know all the material. This is really more of an unnecessary review.”

“Keep telling yourself that.” Shizuo muttered, shaking his head and looking back at the camera. “In any case, Izaya told me to go ahead with the episode so I’ll be doing the intro and whatever while he studies back there. But he’ll still be the one calling Shichi and asking the questions.”

“I’ve got my phone ready and everything!” Izaya sang, holding it up proudly in the air and waving it around.

“Which is a bad thing because you aren’t supposed to have your phone while you’re studying!” Shizuo snapped, turning around again to glare at the raven.

“Shizu-chan is so uptight about this.” Izaya whined, opening up his keypad and speed dialing his father. “I’ll be fine with or without my phone.”

“I hate your cockiness sometimes.” Shizuo muttered, turning back to the camera with a sigh. “Anyways, today is Episode Thirteen: The Cub Becomes a Bear. We hope you enjoy it.”

“Hey Dad!” Izaya chirped in the background, still completely unrepentant about his nonchalant “studying”. “I’m just calling to ask what happened when Egor put you as his top student which he so obviously did. What? No of course I don’t have anything better to do.”

Shizuo rolled his eyes and shot the camera a meaningful look, but said nothing.

Izaya waited for a few seconds, listening to Shichi on the other end, then his face lit up brightly. “Perfect! So start talking, Dad! What happened to you after you were named top student…”

***

About two days away from the deadline Egor had been given to select a top student, he called Shichi, Valeriya, Viktor, and Aleksander all to the front of the training room for an important announcement.

“I want you all to hear this because it is a very serious matter.” The tall man said, his eyes scanning slowly over each of them. “And I mean it when I say that it is very serious. This took me quite some time to decide.”

“It’s top student, isn’t it?” Valeriya interrupted, her eyes shining as she looked up at their instructor. “The top student who presents their skills and thus the results of your training program to the heads of the mafia so they know how valuable this program is to them?”

“Thank you for that, Miss Exposition.” Shichi said sweetly, Aleksander snickering beside him as Valeriya shot the boy a fierce glare.

“Shut up, you maggot!” The assassin-in-training hissed. “You’re so disrespectful and immature.”

“Says the girl interrupting our teacher when he has literally stated what he has to say is important.” Shichi snorted, rolling his eyes at the fuming female.

“This is why we broke up!” Valeriya snapped, jabbing a pointed finger in Shichi’s face accusingly. “Because you’re a wretched blockhead who does nothing but say stupid things and perform even stupider acts all day long.”

“Really?” Aleksander asked in mock confusion, looking over at Valeriya with false surprise coating his face. “I thought the two of you broke up because Shichi’s secret lover showed up to make out with him and Shichi magically realized that you were a poisonous viper that he needed to get away from!”

“You make it sound like it happened overnight, Aleks.” Shichi winced a little at the fiery eyes he could feel on him. “My decision wasn’t quite that instantaneous.”

“But you have to admit that having Kazimir’s hot body all over you helped.” Aleksander said cheerfully, the bright-eyed boy smiling as Shichi groaned and slapped himself in the face.

“It was the cub whose body lathered the lynx’s, though passion is shared by both.” Viktor put in with a sly smirk, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively at Shichi despite the scowl instantly sent his way. “You’re going in the correct direction for a knife in your leg, Viktor.” Shichi growled darkly, glaring at his friend.

“But he’s so right!” Aleksander laughed, grinning at Shichi in delight. “You were all over that lynx man!”

“Stop talking about the time my ex cheated on me like it was the greatest moment of your lives!” Valeriya snarled, smacking both Viktor and Aleksander upside the heads. As she was reaching to give Shichi the same treatment, a deep voice cut in, freezing all the recruits in place.

“There will be no more talk of this nonsense.” Egor declared, giving Valeriya a harsh look that silently commanded her to put her hand down. “We are going to be moving on from that day. You are teenagers who started a relationship, it was not a good one, you ended it. Why is there any need to carry on the drama?”

“There isn’t!” Shichi declared, pumping his fist into the air like it was a battle cry.

“Precisely, my cub.” Egor nodded in approval at him, giving Valeriya a pointed look that prompted her to slowly move her hand back down to her side. “There is no need.”

Egor clapped his hands, apparently ready to move back on track with what he’d been doing before. “Right. So I am indeed selecting my top student to present before the mafia council, as Valeriya mentioned before.” The tall man announced, looking out across them all. “And I’m not going to lie to you: the decision was very difficult.”

Valeriya snorted at that, puffing out her chest a little as she folded her arms and smirked at her fellow trainees. “It can’t have been _that_ hard.” She said smugly, locking eyes with Shichi. “After all, there’s really only one recruit here who’s worth anything at all.”

“Why did I ever date her?” Shichi muttered, shaking his head forlornly. At this rate, he was almost thinking that he would’ve preferred being Kazimir’s sex slave over being Valeriya’s ex. Or just being her boyfriend for that matter.

“The decision was difficult because you all have great strengths and conflicting weaknesses to those strengths.” Egor was continuing from up front, prompting them all to look back up and face him again. His gray eyes scanned over them all, taking in their expressions without a single one of his own to give anything away. “But I eventually made it. My top student is the culmination of the techniques that I teach, the most sound member of this trainee brigade in spirit, mind, and body, the most headstrong and determined recruit of the group before me. The top student is essentially who I want representing myself and my own abilities to the rest of the mafia.”

Geez, Shichi would not want a responsibility like that. Good luck to Valeriya on handling all those big expectations. Shichi knew he himself would never be able to do something like that.

In fact, Shichi and the others were already stepping to the side to let Valeriya come forward and take over the spotlight when Egor dropped a bomb on all of them.

“Shichi Suzuki will be my top student.” The instructor announced, smiling at them all.

The whole room fell silent.

“I’m sorry, I think you’ve messed up the pronunciation of that name.” Shichi heard himself saying. “It should sound something like “Valeriya Spasky”, right?”

“Right!” Valeriya burst out, stepping forward between them all and looking up at their instructor in shock. “Egor, I’m clearly your best student! I’ve _always_ been the best! And ever since Shichi came here, all he’s done is make mistakes and-”

“And improve dramatically.” Egor interrupted her, looking over at Shichi with a nod of approval. “I did not mispronounce anything. Shichi, you are my top student.”

“But he can’t even do anything!” Valeriya screeched, waving her arms frantically in the air like she was desperate. “He’s a total newbie with no class, no expertise, no precision, no unique style, no nothing!”

“Gee, thanks.” Shichi said sarcastically, glaring at his ex’s back. “I can see you really support me on this.”

“I support you!” Aleksander said cheerfully, slapping Shichi on the back. “Congratulations, man!”

“The hard-earned path to victory is long, but its laurels are just and sound.” Viktor agreed, shaking Shichi’s hand with a smile. “The cub has earned his place among the bears.”

“Time out!” Valeriya shrieked, shoving Shichi away from everyone else and pointing at him accusingly as she looked up at Egor. “Just learning to do something doesn’t make him top student material. And all those things I mentioned before are totally true! He’s got nothing going for him!”

“I disagree, Valeriya.” Egor said calmly, reaching inside his pocket to pull out his phone and begin typing. “Shichi definitely has his own unique style. And while it may not involve extreme expertise, precision, or class, it involves a fine mixture of each with a very important element thrown into the mix that many of you lack: creativity and intelligence.”  
Egor smiled at the dumbstruck Shichi, who honestly couldn’t think of anything else more eloquent than “Uhhhhh” to voice his thoughts right now. Oh yeah. So creative and intelligent.

“Egor, I think you’ve got the wrong student.” Shichi said weakly, not quite wanting to contradict his teacher, but also wanting to make sure he could pull the tall man out of the decrepit mental illness he seemed to be slipping into. “I put a gun to my head and played Russian Roulette to prove I was gutsy enough to hang out with people. I’m not intelligent in any way, shape, or form. Viktor is the intelligent one.”

“Not true, Shichi.” Egor replied with a shrug. “You’ve stunned me many times with your unique approach to problems and challenges that you are physically incapable of surpassing. I have actually been placing you in exams and tests that are at higher levels than what you’ve trained for to see how you far against material you aren’t supposed to be able to pass. You’ve not only passed every time, but you’ve used trickery, intelligence, random personal skills, and the skills that you _have_ gained so far in order to do so. You combine what you know with what you see and what you can do to defeat opponents that I haven’t trained you to overcome.”

Egor looked at Shichi and in his cold, calculating gray eyes, Shichi felt like he could almost see a shine of pride twinkling in there, like an unshed tear he was waiting for the right time to let fall. “Shichi,” Egor said aloud, the name carrying weight as it bounced around the training room, trapped in his deep voice. “You are an incredible individual. Able to fight beyond your own level. Able to surpass your own limits without even realizing you are doing so. Able to cut through your weaknesses and turn them into your strengths. You are a fighter than can never be beaten for you do not know how to surrender, but you will always know how to survive. _You_ are my top student.”

Shichi stared in shock at his instructor, wondering if this was some kind of elaborate and surprisingly well-worded prank. Egor couldn’t possibly think all of those things about him, right? That was just ridiculous. Shichi wasn’t that talented or amazing. He was just trying to survive each and every encounter Egor threw at him, no matter how bizarre or terrifying they were. Sure, he hadn’t lost quite yet but he was seriously just trying to survive!

Shichi was fairly certain he wasn’t capable of whatever he was supposed to do as top student.

“Egor, I think you’ve made a mistake.” Shichi said nervously, shuffling in place and staring at his fellow recruits. “I mean…I’ve never even killed anything before.”

“Nevertheless, you are the person I have selected and I’ve already sent in all your information. This decision cannot be changed.” Egor said flatly, not a single ounce of sympathy present in his voice. “You are now the representation of myself to the mafia, Shichi. Don’t let me down.”

And with that ever-so-reassuring statement, Egor swept out of the room.

Shichi and the others stared after him for a long time, each of them trying to comprehend exactly what that meant.

“I mean, you still have some training time before the demonstration, right?” Aleksander tried to say, patting Shichi’s shoulder in an attempt to cheer him up. “You still have a chance!”

“The demonstration is in two days.” Valeriya said flatly, still staring off after Egor.

“Just kidding. You’re screwed.” Aleksander said just as cheerfully, still patting Shichi’s shoulder.

“He’s joking right?” Shichi asked weakly, turning to look at the other recruits beside him. “Tell me he’s joking. He really means that Valeriya is going and he just said my name to freak us all out into training even harder. It’s all a sick, cruel joke.”

“Delusions create some of our greatest comforts.” Viktor sighed, giving Shichi a mournful look before padding off back into the training center.

“He’s gotta be joking.” Shichi repeated, staring at his hands as Valeriya and Aleksander both watched him. “He’s just gotta be.”

 

He wasn’t joking.

In precisely two days, Shichi was taken to another scary compound that he had never seen before, this one just a massive, empty warehouse that it looked like the mafia had apparently decided to inhabit (like some evil hermit crab), which was also the site of his “demonstration”.

As the black car Egor was driving pulled up to the curb, with Shichi in the passenger seat and his fellow trainees crammed together in the back, Shichi could see a muscular man in a suit vanish into the building. The man had looked imposing and dark, and Shichi could spot the outline of a machine gun – a freaking _machine gun_ – tucked under his shirt from where he sat in the car.

“I can’t do this.” Shichi squeaked instantly, looking over at Egor with wide, desperate eyes. “Please Egor! Don’t make me go in there! There are scary men with guns in there and they’re going to shoot me in the head!”

“Funny. Sounds exactly like what the inside of this car will be like if you don’t go in there now.” Egor said casually, hefting up a pistol and placing it against Shichi’s forehead. He flicked the safety off and placed his finger calmly over the trigger, gray eyes flicking over to meet his student’s.

“I know you can do this, Shichi.” Egor said in a low voice, the sound unnaturally soothing when the barrel of a loaded gun was pressed right up against his forehead. “You can do this because I’ve been training you to do this, and you are an incredible fighter, even if you don’t believe it yourself. And also because I will kill you myself if you make me look like a fool.”

“Oh great.” Shichi said weakly, trying not to move too much as the cold metal pressed against his clammy skin. “You’re great with comfort, Egor.”

“I know. I should’ve gone into work as a preschool teacher.” Egor said flatly, clicking off the child safety on the doors and reaching over to pop Shichi’s open, still aiming the gun right at him as the door swung out to reveal the terrifying warehouse.

Shichi gulped as he turned to look at it, hyperaware of his teacher’s gun against the back of his head, knowing that if he didn’t start moving soon, his brains would become a lovely decoration for the lovely leather seats he wanted to vanish into.

Then again, Valeriya probably wouldn’t be too upset by that fact considering the eager way she was looking at the gun, almost like she was praying it would go off accidentally. You know what, she probably was. After all if Shichi died, she was next in line.

Shichi better get out of the car now and face uncertain doom rather than the certain death lurking right around him. 

“I’m going. I’m going.” Shichi said weakly, slowly sliding his legs out of the car and letting his feet drop onto the snow-covered ground. He stood up shakily, certain that Egor still had the gun aimed right at his back, and began walking towards the empty warehouse, dreading what he would find inside.

He hadn’t been told what he was going to fight. Just that it was going to be a demonstration of everything Egor had taught him so far and that it would be extremely challenging.  
And somehow, it was going to measure his skills as an assassin, which Shichi wasn’t all too thrilled about. But here he was, marching towards another bad life choice, with absolutely no control over the fate driving his life deeper and deeper into the gutter.

But hey. At least he belonged somewhere.

At least he was wanted somewhere.

Shichi took a deep breath as he reached the warehouse doors, pushing them open with uncertain hands and watching as they both swung easily out, revealing his entire figure to everyone in the room.

And when Shichi stepped in, letting the doors swing shut behind him as his eyes adjusted to the dim light of the room, he saw exactly who “everyone” was comprised of.

“Everyone” happened to be extremely deadly, extremely terrifying, extremely stone-faced Russian men in suits, many of them with tattoos creeping all around their bodies, seated in various places all around the warehouse. Many were on benches that had been put into a circular pattern around the edges of the warehouse, a few were scattered about on various crates or boxes to serve as their own chairs in this weird circle, and a few were seated on the ground (still somehow managing to look powerful and deadly). But no matter what they were seated on, they were all seated in a large circle around a ring in the middle of the warehouse that had been completely cleared. Just a single empty space of wooden floors, with nothing else on it but a single wooden crate, that had been cleared out for a very specific purpose.

Why did Shichi get the feeling he was supposed to stand there?

Shichi took in another deep breath, trying not to focus on all the harsh, cold eyes raking him up and down in his training uniform, and walked into the center of the ring.

Once he reached the very center, he stopped and stared straight ahead. He did nothing but listen to the pounding of the blood in his veins and the beating of his heart. He tried not to move as he stood in place, steeling his face into the most expressionless mask he could wear. He looked straight ahead, and didn’t say a word, only breathing in and out and blinking very slowly.

Eventually, after a few seconds of this deafening silence, one of the men spoke up.

“Shichi Suzuki.” He said darkly, his voice booming around the warehouse. No one else said anything, and they all just watched Shichi as he stared straight ahead, not knowing what the hell he was supposed to do. Was he supposed to say something? Was he supposed to nod? Be like “Yep! That’s me! I’m here! Can I leave now?” What did they want from him?!

But before Shichi could actually open his mouth and say anything, just an attempt at a response in case he needed one, another voice spoke from the other side of the room.

“Country of origin: Japan. Adoptive parents: Suzuki Seisuke and Suzuki Mari. Biological parents: unknown.”

This time a tall, skinny man was speaking, his voice no less powerful than the first man’s despite his smaller stature. Again, Shichi said nothing. He only stared ahead in confusion, wondering if he should say something. And yet again, right before he could say anything, the next voice started up.

“Physical ability: To be determined. Mental ability: high.”

Shichi stood there silently, beginning to think that he’d made an absolutely horrible choice with his life at some point and was now in a sinkhole which he could not escape from.  
“Specialty: To be determined. Ranking: To be determined. Code name: Under review.” The final man spoke, his voice ringing with a sense of doom throughout the entire room. “Begin.”

Shichi took another deep breath, his third one in as many minutes, and turned around to face the crate to see what he was going to have to do.

He’d been expecting some kind of martial arts dummy to pop out, something close to Calvin in size or level of intimidation, or something that was armed to the teeth in razor sharp spikes like some device of Armageddon. He expected a mafia assassin to leap out and attack him, ready to take his head if he couldn’t defend himself properly. He expected honest to goodness ninjas to leap out with shouts of war and dive bomb him, despite how stealthy ninjas were supposed to be. He even expected freaking Valeriya to leap out, screaming bloody murder and talking about what a horrible ex-boyfriend he was.

What he did not expect, what he could not have pictured in his wildest dreams, was for a tiny figure to push the lid off the box and reveal itself, duct tape latched firmly over its mouth, violet eyes wide with terror, and hands shaking horribly in front of it.

“You see your target.” The first voice said flatly. “Kill it.”

And Shichi stared into the eyes of a tiny little girl, no older than two years old, whose face and body were full of fear that he’d never thought he’d see in her, and who he hadn’t seen since he started training with Egor.

“V…Vorona.” Shichi said weakly, staring at the child before him.

“Kill it.”

***

_“I’m stopping there. I need some time to myself before I dive into the rest of this.”_ Shichi said flatly on the other side of the phone. _“Also, I think it’s a bit too late at night for me to keep going.”_

“I will resurrect the Operation Fluffles team, Dad.” Izaya said in a threatening voice, his hand shaking as it gripped the phone by his ear. “You can’t cut me off there! I need closure!”

“I think you need to study more.” Shizuo pointed out, plucking the phone from Izaya and tapping on the meaningless words splayed out on the page. “And besides, psychology normally calms you down and gives you closure anyways.”

“Not from stuff like this!” Izaya shrieked, grabbing desperately at the phone and scowling at his boyfriend. “Not from my father apparently _murdering_ the sweet child who helped save his life when he got to Russia!”

“We don’t know if he did or not. We’ll find out later.” Shizuo said calmly, putting Izaya’s phone to his ear. “And if you don’t tell us later Shichi, I will hunt you down and separate your head from your body with my bare hands as Izaya cuts you into ribbons. Clear?”

_“Indubitably.”_ Shichi muttered, the displeasure obvious in his voice. _“I’ll talk to you guys next Friday.”_

“Talk to you then.” Shizuo responded, hanging up before Izaya could scream something else and looking over at the camera. “That was it for this week’s episode: The Cub Becomes a Bear.” He said casually. “Join us next time for Episode Fourteen: The Fate of the Crow.”

“You better be there.” Izaya growled, glaring at the camera screen. “I need my fellow supporters of Operation Fluffles beside me if he doesn’t give us a clear answer.”

“Good night.” Shizuo said, cutting off the video there and putting down his phone. He made sure to place Izaya’s phone on top of a shelf, out of the upset boy’s reach, before looking back down at the fuming raven.

“Now please keep studying.” Shizuo said, running his fingers soothingly through the dark strands of hair. “We can kill him later.”

“Promise?” Izaya grumbled, looking pointedly at Shizuo as though his answer would decide the future of their relationship together.

Shizuo chuckled at the look and kissed Izaya on his forehead. “Promise.” He assured him, tapping the psychology textbook once more. “Now get to studying.”

Izaya sighed but obliged the tall blonde, laying back down with a huff and beginning his perusal of his class work once more.

Shizuo watched him for a bit, a soft smile coming over his lips as the smaller man grumbled and mumbled to himself about Shichi, flipping pages and scanning over them with huffs of discontent.

“I love you so much.” Shizuo’s deep voice said, cutting through Izaya’s haze of discontent for just a few seconds.

“…I love you too. Now shut up and let me plot my father’s impending doom.”

“Okay, ‘Zaya. Whatever you say.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAT A CLIFFHANGER! We haven’t seen one as bad as that since…well, ages ago! What is Shichi going to do? This is the biggest test of his life. This is the way to stay in the place he feels like he belongs. But this is sweet little Vorona he’s got to kill! Can he actually do it? What will he decide?
> 
> I guess we’ll all have to wait to figure it out until next Friday! Hopefully…I’ll actually have a chapter by then. XD Well, even if I don’t have a chapter up by Friday, it should be up in the few days following that. Oh, and the reason this chapter was so early is because I have some kind of retreat later that will run from 3:30 to 10:00 and I would rather have posted it earlier on in the day than at a freakishly late time of night. Okay, that’s all from me.
> 
> I hope you guys like the chapter! I’ll see you next time! <3


	15. The Fate of the Crow (Судьба ворона)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! So I've literally been moving around the dorm laundry room for the past few minutes typing this thing up and trying to keep everyone from seeing it. XD It's a delicate art, writing fanfiction in a crowded area while making sure no one knows what you're writing.
> 
> But we're good so far! I'm gonna post this real quick and move my stuff to the dryer! Hopefully before the guy who's been trying to see it more than anyone else (we'll call him Toby for privacy purposes) gets onto my laptop.
> 
> I'll see you at the end! <3

“It’s that time of the week.” Shizuo sighed, glancing over his shoulder as Izaya furiously smashing Shichi’s number into his phone. “Izaya’s been dying these last few days coming up with theories as to how Shichi got out of his last situation. He’s got a whole list now, with everything from trickery and mental challenges to robot children and aliens. I’m honestly a little concerned.”

“You shouldn’t be concerned for me!” Izaya snapped, glaring at the camera screen as though daring it to argue with him. “We should all be concerned for little Vorona and what happens to her! Right?!”

“I don’t think Shichi will have done anything to Vorona.” Shizuo said honestly, trying to convince his frantic boyfriend as the raven’s finger lifted over the call button, ready to begin their inevitable trek into Shichi’s past. “He probably figured out some kind of trick to keep from hurting her. And he loves kids! You’ve seen how much he adores Mairu and Kururi.”

“Well, we don’t know anything fur sure, now do we?” Izaya pointed out angrily, mashing his finger onto the button and lifting the phone to his ear. “Besides, what if the reason he’s so kind to children is because he’s traumatized from the one he murdered?”

Shizuo had nothing to say to that. Lord, he hoped that wasn’t the case.

“Anyway,” Shizuo coughed, shaking off the unpleasant theory and turning to face his phone. “Welcome to Episode Fourteen of “Shichi’s Adventures in Russia”: The Fate of the Crow. We hope you enjoy figuring out what happens to Vorona just as much as we-”

“Dad!” Izaya snapped, cutting Shizuo off mid-sentence as the ex-assassin picked up on the other end. “Spill the beans! Tell me how you got out of killing Vorona right now before I murder you in your sleep!”

“…Will.” Shizuo finished with a sigh, just settling down and listening to the story.

“No, I mean it Dad! Tell me what happened to you and Vorona…”

***

Shichi couldn’t believe it. He just couldn’t believe that this was supposed to be the culmination of his abilities as an assassin. Killing a small child? Killing a small child who might as well be his younger sister, at that? How was he expected to do something so horrible?!

“I-I can’t.” Shichi said shakily, eyes wide as he watched the terrified, sobbing little girl before him. “I can’t kill her.”

“You must kill you target, Shichi.” A deep voice ordered from above, chillingly familiar to Shichi although he didn’t know why. “No matter who or what your target is, you must destroy it without mercy.”

“This is a child!” Shichi yelled, gesturing wildly at Vorona as he glared at the men around him. “A young, innocent child! Not to mention a child that I know! And isn’t she the daughter of one of your top weapons dealers? What on earth do you think you’re doing?!”

“Kill it, Shichi.” One of the men ordered, his tall body bending over as he glared fiercely down at the teenage boy. “This is your one task and you must fulfill it if you are to prove your mentor’s teachings. Are you his top student, or aren’t you?”

Shichi gritted his teeth, fists clenching tightly at his sides and trembling like leaves in the wind. This was a child. This was _Vorona_. He couldn’t just murder her in cold blood! But if he didn’t…then he would lose the one place that he found he belonged in. He would let the man who might as well be his father down, and possibly ruin his reputation. He would disappoint his friends and lose the only family who’d ever loved him. He’d lose it all…unless he murdered Vorona.

And you know what sucked even worse than that? Vorona was the one who had led Shichi to all of these opportunities. Vorona was the reason Shichi had this feeling of belonging, and had found the niche in which he fit in life. Without Vorona, Shichi would’ve never found Egor and this family of assassins. Now he was expected to murder her.

How could he follow through with that order?

How could he not follow through with that order?

He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t do it at all.

But he had to do it. He couldn’t resist the temptation telling him to protect his position in the place he belonged.

What was he supposed to do?

“I…I…” Shichi stammered aloud, his icy eyes flicking over to lock on the tiny girl in dread. She was still watching him, those tears were still running down her cheeks, and the terror was evident in her eyes. She tried to speak to him but the duct tape over her mouth prevented any sounds beyond desperate muffled mutters from making it to his ears.

She took a shaky step towards him then collapsed, quivering on the ground of the arena. It was then that Shichi saw her ankles were swollen, heavily so, as though she’d been bitten by some kind of venomous insect or injected with poison. It was preventing her from walking properly. It was putting her through who knew how much pain. It was a form of torture.

Shichi grit his teeth, fists still shaking at his sides, and turned with a vicious glare to the men watching him silently.

“I can’t believe this!” He yelled, anger and passion fueling his words more than thought and consideration for what he was saying. “I can’t believe you would have me murder an innocent, tortured little girl with such a strong connection to one of your greatest allies.”

“Kill it.” Was the resounding echo that answered him, unfeeling and cold, from every corner of the room. “Kill the enemy.”

“She is not my enemy!” Shichi yelled in response, his voice cracking at the end as the beginnings of tears began to fill his eyes. “And I refuse to believe you when you tell me she is! Until you show me the proof, until you show me how this little girl is posing such a threat that she needs to be exterminated, I refuse to carry out these orders.”

Shichi ran over to Vorona, his blood pounding in his veins and his heart beating wildly in his chest, as he dropped to his knees by her side, gently placing a hand on the small girl’s shoulder.

She flinched horribly, as if worried he was going to attack her, and Shichi could feel his heart squeeze in his chest at the sight, wondering what horrible things had been done to this little child before she was brought here.

“It’s going to be okay, Vorona.” Shichi said in as calm a voice as he could manage, squeezing her shoulder comfortingly and lifting his other hand slowly to her face. Vorona’s light violet eyes watched his fingers come closer to her, the little girl shaking in slight fear as it neared, but otherwise stayed as still as possible. She wasn’t flinching away and Shichi hoped that was a good thing.

He lightly touched her cheek with his fingers, feeling the muscles twitch under his touch, and waited for her to get used to him for a few seconds before slowly cupping her whole cheek in his palm.

“Hush…” Shichi whispered, rubbing his thumb soothingly over her skin. “Hush, my little crow. You’re going to be alright. Do you understand, my little Vorona? You’re going to be alright.”

Vorona watched him with those scared violet eyes, body quivering in fear as he continued to brush his thumb over her cheek, his other hand merely resting comfortingly on her shoulder, the teenage boy waited for her to calm down.

It took a short eternity, but Vorona slowly began to stop shaking. Her wide, frightened eyes slowly returned to more of a normal state. Her muscles seemed to relax just the slightest bit, giving in to the gentle caresses of her older brother.

“That’s it.” Shichi said softly, smiling at the young girl before him. “It’s me, Vorona. I would never hurt you.”

Vorona still watched him with a bit of wariness, but she gave a slow nod, body shifting a little on the ground to be closer to him. She tried to speak again past the tape across her mouth, but again only muffled sound came out.

“Hush, my little crow.” Shichi whispered, moving his hand on her cheek to the edge of the tape. “I’m going to take this off now. Then you can speak.”

Vorona nodded again, squeezing her eyes shut and waiting for the harsh jerk of the tape across her lips.

“This will hurt.” Shichi informed her gently, although he was pretty sure she already knew that from her reaction. “I don’t want to hurt you, I would never hurt you. But this is going to hurt a little when I pull it off, okay?”

Vorona merely gave him another nod, eyes still shut, body still tightened in expectation for the coming pain.

Shichi exhaled a short breath, steeling himself to harm the small child, and ripped off the duct tape in one smooth motion.

Vorona couldn’t help the cry of pain that escaped her little body as the tape tore off, bringing some gentle peach fuzz and the chapped edges of her lips with it, tears welling up in those strong purple eyes.

Shichi immediately grabbed the little girl, hauling him up against his chest and holding her there, rocking her back and forth soothingly and whispering calming things to her.

Vorona sobbed a little against him, her tiny hands clenched in his shirt, the occasional cries of “big brother” and “Shichi” being whispered between hiccups.

Shichi rocked her back and forth and rubbed her back with one hand, using the other to begin slowly untying the rope from around her wrists, whispering soothingly to her all the while.

“It’ll be okay, my little crow.” He promised, trying not to think about the dozens of mafia men still watching silently from their spectator seats around them. They were probably waiting for Shichi to drop his caring older brother act and slaughter the little girl when she was least expecting it.

The thought made Shichi’s whole being burn with rage.

“I won’t let a single thing hurt you.” Shichi promised, holding the tiny being even tighter and pressing a kiss to the top of her blonde hair. “It’s going to be okay.”

Vorona nodded and whimpered into him, her body shaking terribly.

Shichi’s eyes flickered down to look at Vorona’s swelling ankles, his eyes narrowing when he saw how purplish-red they were, no doubt causing this little girl way more pain than any child her age should have to go through. 

But as Shichi stared at the swelling ankles of the little girl, feeling his anger rise at the men who’d done this to her, he saw something strange happen with her skin.

Her skin…moved.

Shichi blinked, leaning in closer to stare at the swollen ankles and wondering if he’d just imagined it. But no, there it was again. A strange line, moving underneath Vorona’s skin. Something was moving around inside of her. There was something inside of Vorona giving her an infection.

“Holy shit.” Shichi breathed, feeling his stomach do an uncomfortably flip-flop at the sight of the squirming line beneath the sobbing girl’s skin, the teenage assassin-in-training getting a little queasy at the sight.

But he couldn’t focus on that queasiness right now! He had to get that freaking thing out of her.

Shichi looked frantically around the room, trying to spot something sharp that he’d be able to use to cut an incision on her ankle. He remembered the brief course Egor had given them all over parasitic insects being used as subtle assassination attempts, often genetically engineered insects given a little dose of poison courtesy of the assassin using them. In general if you didn’t have a medical doctor equipped to handle such emergencies around you, you just needed to try cutting out the insect as swiftly as you could.

Because even if the insect itself was often not fatal, the things it could be carrying thanks to the human who’d sent it might very well be.

Shichi’s eyes landed on a table at the far side of the arena that he hadn’t noticed before, coated with a line of shining knives and guns. Perfect. That would do just fine.

“Vorona, I’m going to be right back.” Shichi whispered, kissing the top of the little girl’s head again and gently detaching her from his body, fully aware of her scared violet eyes on his back as he walked. Shichi was also fully aware of the eyes of the mafia members on him, and these he tried to ignore as he selected a razor-thin blade from along the shining stack of death instruments, resolving to deal with the assholes who’d done this to Vorona after he got whatever was inside her body out.

Shichi hurried back over to the little girl with his chosen device in hand, crouching down by her legs and wishing to God that he’d had some kind of painkiller to give the little child.

“Vorona,” Shichi said gently, looking into the girl’s frightened eyes and placing a calming hand on her cheek. “There’s something bad inside your ankles. I need to get it out, and I need to cut you to do that. Okay?”

“No.” Vorona said quickly, trying to cover up her ankles with her hands and shaking her head vigorously. “Already hurt enough.”

“I know, my little crow.” Shichi managed to get out, chest squeezing again at how pained Vorona’s voice sounded. “But if I don’t do this, you’ll be hurting even more.”

“No!” Vorona insisted, shaking her head even harder. “What if Shichi lying? What if Shichi trying to kill me?”

“Vorona, would your big brother do something like that?” Shichi asked softly, brushing his thumb against her cheek like he’d done earlier. “You know I wouldn’t. I’m way too dumb to plot something like that.”

Vorona looked up at him doubtfully, but the gentle, teasing smile on his face seemed to calm her down at least a little bit. She still kept her hands over her ankles, but her muscles were less tense and she seemed like she was considering trusting him.

“Please Vorona.” Shichi said, eyes flicking down to look at that mysterious line squirming under the swelling skin, bringing a sick feeling to his stomach just by seeing it. “I have to get this thing out of you as soon as possible.”

Vorona hesitated for a few more seconds, then a wince of pain crossed her face (no doubt a result of the infection inside of her) and she slowly pulled her hands away, laying down on her back and covering her eyes with her hands. 

“Hurry.” Was all the little girl said, clearly dreading the new pain that was coming to her.

“I will.” Shichi agreed, closing his eyes as he gripped the knife securely between his fingers, ready to slice into the little girl’s body.

It probably only took about two minutes, but it didn’t feel that short to the young teenager.

When he sliced the first thin cut into Vorona’s skin, and her first scream of pain rang out into the silent warehouse, everything seemed to take much longer. He had to dig the knife blade deep into her skin to find the parasite, ignoring the screams and shakes of the tiny girl before him, ignoring her blood as it soaked his hands and wishing he could clean it all up and take all the pain he was giving her away.

He had to push apart the folds of skin he’d created and use the knife to dig around inside her body, pushing aside muscle as gently as he could while blood leaked out, until he found the first one. A wriggling white worm inside of Vorona’s body, with a tiny hole that Shichi could see in its back as it undulated and crawled around, orange liquid occasionally oozing from it and seeping into the bloodstream around it. Poison. Not from the insect itself, but from an outside force that had wanted to make the burrowing cretin even more deadly than it already was.

Shichi snarled as he was forced to chase the worm up and out of Vorona’s body with the knife, gripping it between his fingers once it got close enough and pulling it out.

He didn’t know what to do about the poison that had already entered her bloodstream – he didn’t have any poison pumps to get it out or access to anti-venoms and antidotes. Hell, he didn’t even know what kind of poison was infecting her. All he knew was that he needed to keep this nasty worm alive so he could extract the poison from it later and hunt down whoever did this to Vorona.

He did so by simply cutting off a length of the heavy clothes he was wearing and dropping it over the worm’s body, pinning it to the floor.

Then he just repeated the same operation on Vorona’s other ankle, cutting open the poor girl and tracking down the slimy parasite within her body, plucking that one out and adding it next to the worm under the heavy cloth. He searched both of Vorona’s open cuts for a little while longer, just to make sure there weren’t any other visible parasites in there, and cut off some more of his clothes, wrapping up both cuts as best as he could to stop the bleeding.

The whole time, Vorona was screaming and crying in pain, tears running down her tiny cheeks as agony filled her purple eyes. Shichi spoke soothingly to her once he was finished, pulling her into his arms again and making sure to keep an eye on the worms as he rocked her back and forth.

“It’s gonna be okay.” He whispered, stroking the back of Vorona’s head and wishing he could undo all of these horrible things. “You’re going to be okay, my little crow.”

“Shichi.” A deep voice boomed from somewhere within the warehouse, startling both the tiny girl and the teenage boy within the arena.

Shichi had nearly forgotten that he’d had spectators during that little operation. The reminder that these sick bastards had set this torture up for Vorona and watched him as he tried to end her suffering made the assassin-in-training even more furious than he already was.

“What?” Shichi snapped, glaring venomously in the direction the voice had come from. He didn’t care which of the terrifying mafia men sitting there had spoken to him; he hated them all just the same.

“You have not yet passed your test.” Another voice said, this one belonging to a man with an eye patch off to Shichi’s left. 

“I refuse this test!” Shichi yelled in response, holding Vorona tighter and glaring at him. “I won’t kill Vorona!”

“The test is to kill your enemy.” One other man said, looking Shichi up and down with a sly smile. “You have not done so yet.”

“Vorona is not my enemy!” Shichi practically screamed, wishing he could drill that point into these idiotic bastard’s thick skulls. “You sick assholes who did this to her are!”

“We did not do this to her.” One of the men responded calmly, watching Shichi with a cold, analytical gaze. “We tied her up with those loose ropes and put her in a box like this yes, but we are not the ones who attacked her.”

“Why the hell did you tie her up and duct tape her mouth like this?” Shichi demanded, squeezing the tiny, sobbing girl against him and snarling at the men around him. “And…then….who the hell attacked her?”

“We do not know.” One of the men said calmly, his eyes flicking down to look at the parasites Shichi had just dug out of Vorona’s body. “We displayed her like this in order to test your reactions. Rest assured, we had measures in place in case you actually tried to murder her.”

“What?” Shichi asked in confusion, looking down at the girl in his arms. “I…I don’t understand. I thought you wanted me to murder her.”

“We want you to murder your target.” One of the other men replied, none too helpfully. “Find your target. Find the enemy. Kill it.”

“Kill…the parasites?” Shichi wondered aloud, glancing over at the worms by his feet. “No…that’s not it. Killing worms is far too easy for a test like this. Why is this the test?”

“There was a direct attack on the child of our closest ally and weapons dealer.” A mafia man announced gravely, glaring at the parasites wriggling on the ground. “We found her in much worse condition than this in her home, with Semyon and Denis having been dispatched briefly for another mission and unable to protect her. We could not figure out what was wrong with her ankles. We only knew that it was the most deadly part of the attack since it was the only thing our usual doctor wasn’t able to fix in a few days.”

“Your doctor sucks.” Shichi said flatly, still holding protectively onto Vorona. “Any idiot can tell if something is moving under your skin, you should get it out.”

The men in the room chuckled at Shichi’s blunt attitude, a few of them even nodding in approval at it.

“Egor was correct about you.” One of them said, his eyes flicking up and down Shichi’s body as he smiled. “You are highly intelligent…and definitely not tactful.”

“It doesn’t take high intelligence to figure out there’s a parasite in her ankles when you see worms moving under her skin.” Shichi said, looking down at the makeshift bandages he’d placed on her ankles.

“But it does take a higher level to know how to remove it in direct response without causing permanent damage.” The cold-eyed mafia man responded smoothly, examining the bloody knife on the floor beside Shichi. “And you removed all parasites swiftly and effectively. You did not panic. You acted immediately and with great skill. You thought through your situation rather than just attacking outright. And you discovered who your true target is.”

“The assholes who attacked her.” Shichi said flatly, understanding finally dawning on him as he realized what he needed to do. “You want me to track down and murder whoever did this to Vorona.”

“Precisely.” One of the mafia members announced, nodding at Shichi in approval. “Accept this mission, complete it, and you will pass your test. This was simply the introduction and…mission briefing, if you will.”

Shichi looked down at the small child in his arms, noticing the purple swelling on her ankles that needed to be tended to as quickly as possible. He saw the pain that was still reflecting in her eyes from the hasty operation that he’d performed. He could see the tears drying on her cheeks while new ones formed in her normally so unshakable eyes.

And his rage only rose with each new observation.

“I’ll do it.” Shichi said darkly, looking up at the men in the dark warehouse around him. “I’ll accept this mission.”

“Your name will be _Медведь (Medved'/Bear).”_ The man closest to him said instantly, tossing a small bag to Shichi which landed on the floor before him. “You have twelve days to complete your assignment. Bring us back the head of the leader and evidence of the group’s demise. Dismissed.”

And even if it wasn’t an official appointment right then, even if he had still never killed another human being in his life up to that point, that was the true moment that Shichi became an assassin.

***

_“Bye. I gotta go now.”_ Shichi sang cheerfully, clearly eager to escape before Izaya could descend upon him. _“I didn’t kill Vorona, so you can be satisfied with that for a little while, right?”_

“I suppose so.” Izaya grumbled, clearly still not quite satisfied with the abrupt stop. “And I suppose this is a decent stopping point compared to some of your previous ones.”

_“See? We can all end this on a happy note.”_ Shichi declared, a shuffling sound coming through the other side of the phone. _“Now if you’ll excuse me…I need to go do something real quick.”_

“What something?” Izaya asked curiously, suddenly perking up on this end of the call. “What something are you doing?”

_“Why do I have such a nosy son?”_ Shichi wondered aloud, sighing heavily. _“I’m doing the laundry, okay? That’s it. Nothing special. And I just remembered that I left it in the washer so I gotta go switch it into the dryer before everything gets moldy. Wow, what an exciting life I lead.”_

“Dad, you’ve disappointed me.” Izaya said flatly, clearly having expected something at least a little more scandalous.

_“I know. And my guilt will keep me up at night for years to come. Goodbye!”_ Shichi practically sang, hanging up the phone as quickly as he could.

Izaya sighed and set his phone down, looking over at Shizuo with a pout.

“What are you pouting for? You have closure now.” Shizuo pointed out, ruffling the raven’s hair as he pulled out his own phone. “Let’s do the closing real quick and then watch a movie together. Okay?”

Izaya sighed heavily, sounding quite a bit like his adopted father had just a few seconds before, and nodded sullenly. “Okay.” He agreed. “But only if I get to pick the movie.”

Shizuo cringed a little at the stipulation, but nodded nonetheless, looking back at his phone camera. “That was all for today’s episode!” He announced, waving goodbye to the camera. “We’ll see you next time on “Shichi’s Adventures in Russia” for Episode Fifteen: The Ice Assassin.”

“See you next time!” Izaya threw in, waving to the camera for good measure.

As soon as Shizuo’s fingers ended the video feed, Izaya popped to his feet. “Prepare for a marathon of psychological thrillers, mental mysteries, and rom-coms!” He declared, marching off into his room as though he was on a mission.

“I don’t remember agreeing to a marathon.” Shizuo sighed, but who was he to argue when the raven had his mind set on something?

“Come on, Shizu-chan! Let’s get started!” Izaya called from the other room, the sounds of the TV already ringing out.

“Well…this is what I do in the name of love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, we did not have any Toby incidents so I think we're in the clear.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! Did you expect the thing with Vorona to be just a crazy test? And how about Shichi's actual mission? Will he really be able to do it?!
> 
> Well, I think we all know the answer to that one. No one hurts Vorona and gets away with it. XD
> 
> Anywho, I'll see you all next Friday! <3


	16. The Ice Assassin (Ледяной убийца)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! First off, I am so so sorry that this is coming out so late! I was really busy on Friday with schoolwork and by the time I remembered that I still had to get this up, I was just exhausted. Saturday was a big fiasco in and of itself with this weird guy who keeps trying to come into our dorm room that we keep having to kick out, and Sunday was just...yeah, I was just too tired on Sunday to do anything. I played video games and typed up some more stories.
> 
> But I got it all done today and here it is! I'll be putting up the next chapter of 'Carmine Coffee' a little early too as an apology. Maybe a little later today or tomorrow. Again, I'm really really sorry!
> 
> Well, despite how late it is, I hope you enjoy the chapter. I'll see you at the end! <3

“We apologize for the delay in uploading this episode!” Izaya cried, bowing rapidly to the camera as it flickered on. “But we have an excuse as to why we couldn’t do it on Friday!”

“It’s more like _his_ excuse.” Shizuo muttered from the side, arms crossed as he sighed. “ _I_ was ready to do the upload but Izaya here wasn’t.”

“Oh, shut up!” Izaya scowled, glaring at his treacherous boyfriend. “The only reason you were ready for the upload was because I had already done all your homework for you!”

“You didn’t do it for me!” Shizuo protested, eyes flicking away guiltily. “You just helped out…a lot.”

“Uh huh.” Izaya rolled his eyes, looking back at the camera. “In any case, I’m so sorry for all of you who were waiting on this episode and just didn’t get it. The thing is that I got a lot of homework assigned from my classes on Friday, so I spent most of the day doing that and working on a side project of mine as well. By the time I was done with it all…I was way too tired to do anything else. And Shizu-chan here,” Izaya shot his boyfriend an accusing glare. “Got wrapped up in a party across the hall and came back inebriated beyond belief!”

“That’s an exaggeration.” Shizuo scoffed. “I was a little tipsy at best.”

“Whatever.” Izaya huffed, looking over at the camera. “Again, sorry for the delay. But we finally got our lives together…somewhat…and so we’re going to do the episode now. Thanks for being so patient!”

“Welcome to Episode Fifteen.” Shizuo called from the corner as Izaya began dialing the magical number on his phone. “The Ice Assassin. I wonder what will happen next?”

“Hi Dad!” Izaya chirped in the background, giving the camera a thumbs-up. “Yeah, I know I didn’t call last Friday. It’s because I got a lot of homework so I didn’t have time to call. Sorry about that. Yeah. Uh huh. Okay, great. So will you please continue from where you left off? Did you go and kill the people who hurt Vorona…”

***

It didn’t take very long for the lab results on those sick worms to come in. Barely a day had passed since the start of Shichi’s exam when there was a knock on the compound door and Aleks opened it to find a messenger outside, bearing a packet of information for Shichi.

The top page was a summary of Shichi’s mission details, which was basically just a recap of what the guy had told him last time.

He was to use the name _Медведь (Medved'/Bear)_ while on his mission. He had twelve days to bring back the head of the leader and evidence of the group’s demise. A small note said the bag that the man had thrown down to him before contained his fake ID and a small pin that identified him as a member of their mafia branch. It was all basic stuff.

Underneath that basic stuff were the results of the worms.

Shichi, Aleks, Viktor, and Valeriya had all gathered around to see what they were, and all of them had been horrified by what they saw.

The worms were called Loa Loa worms, and they were parasites that typically infected people through deer-fly bites. They burrow underneath skin and cause itchy areas around joints known as Calabar swellings, and sometimes infections called Loiasis. While they’re inside of your body, it is easy to see them moving around beneath the surface of your skin or eye. The weird part is that you usually only found these things in the rain forests of West and Central Africa.

Now the poison in Vorona’s bloodstream was a far more concerning matter. The orange-yellow liquid had turned out to be a liquid form of ricin, which had made Valeriya’s face drain to an even paler color than it typically was.

“Valeriya?” Shichi asked, looking over at his fellow trainee with dread curling in his stomach. “What’s ricin? What’s so bad about it?”

Valeriya had been silent for a few minutes before responding, something that only added to the anxiety of everyone else in the room.

“Ricin is a deadly poison that is often used by us mafia members and the KGB.” She admitted softly, pushing her fingers slowly together as she thought about how to respond to him. “It is part of the waste produced in the process of making castor oil from castor beans. And…and it is highly toxic.”

“What does it do?” Shichi demanded, his eyes growing dark as he watched Valeriya.

Valeriya bit her lip, her face more nervous than Shichi had ever seen it before. “It…gets inside the cells of the body and prevents them from making the proteins they need, thus killing them off.”

“It kills the cells in your body?” Aleksander repeated aloud, his eyes widening in shock. “That’s…horrible.”

Valeriya nodded, refusing to look Shichi in the eye. “It is usually fatal.” She said, clearly not liking having to tell him this at all. “And it can take up to three days to kill a person. If injected in large amounts, it can take merely a few hours.”

“What?” Shichi growled, grabbing Valeriya’s arm and glaring at her fiercely. “But Vorona is fine. She’s a little sick but she’s laying in bed at home, recovering.”

“She may not be recovering. She may be dying.” Valeriya said simply, still not looking up despite the harsh grip on her arm. “Like I said, it can take up to three days to kill someone if they retained a small yet still lethal amount.”

“What can we do to stop that?” Aleks demanded, grabbing Valeriya’s other arm and joining Shichi as he glared at her. “I mean, there’s gotta be something we can do to fix it. Flush it out, or something. There has to be a cure!”

“There…there is no...” Valeriya said softly, her voice trailing off at the end so that Shichi couldn’t hear her.

“What are you saying?!” Shichi roared, yelling loudly in her face as panic raced through his body. “What are you trying to tell us?!”

“There is no cure or antidote!” Valeriya screamed, finally looking up and meeting Shichi’s gaze, small tears in her eyes as she glared at him. “Do you understand? If enough of that poison got into Vorona’s blood and cells before you pulled those worms out, she is going to die in the next twenty-four hours. And we can’t do anything about that.”

The whole compound fell silent, all of them contemplating Valeriya’s words in utter shock.

“I-It can’t be.” Shichi said softly, thinking of the little girl he’d visited just that morning, lying on her big bed and looking even tinier than usual. Her face had been pale but she’d smiled happily to see him, seeming to forget about her troubles as he’d gone over to give her a hug. She was so tiny and weak and fragile and sick but…but she couldn’t be dying. She couldn’t _die_.

He wouldn’t allow that.

Not unless he killed those bastards who did this to her first.

“I…I need to find them.” Shichi said softly, looking back over at the report as a certain numbness spread over his chest. “I’m going to find them.”

The others all watched Shichi’s face, taking in the cold dead eyes that had taken his icy gaze, not saying a word.

Shichi began to slowly flip through the report, icy eyes flicking blankly over it like a machine’s as he looked for something to help him track them down.

“A common KGB and mafia poison.” He muttered aloud, staring at its chemical make-up for a few seconds before moving on. “A worm found in Africa. A mysterious capture that no one can explain. That no one heard. Who could’ve put together something like this?”

“Who would want to?” Aleks added, finally leaning over Shichi’s shoulder and scanning the document himself, ready to help out his best friend. “Who would want to kill a small child like Vorona?”

“Anyone with a motive against greatness will find its weaknesses and destroy them.” Viktor said somberly, tapping Vorona’s last name on the paper with a grave look.

“Viktor is right.” Valeriya nodded in agreement. “We need to find out if Vorona’s father has any enemies who would have access to these sorts of materials and be able to get to his daughter without anyone noticing.”

“I’m sure that covers a lot of people, though.” Aleks said nervously, looking down at the file. “I mean, he’s a _weapons dealer_ for crying out loud. Anyone he doesn’t deal with and their mother will be out to get him. Not to mention the people he’d be ticking off by not working with them are probably other branches of the mafia or even the KGB.”

“There are way too many possible perpetrators here.” Shichi growled, punching the file with a snarl. “I need to get to them now!”

“You only have twelve days to narrow down your suspects.” Valeriya agreed smoothly, humming as she thought about the problem. “It is a substantially short timeframe before you fail your exam.”

“It’s not about the exam, Valeriya.” Shichi muttered, glaring at his ex out of the corner of his eye. “It’s about _Vorona_. It’s about those bastards who injected worms and poison into her tiny body. It’s about the fact that she’s only two years old and those might be the only years she’ll have on this planet.”

Shichi turned fully to face Valeriya, his whole demeanor dead-serious, as he said: “It’s not about success for my mission. It’s about revenge for my little sister.”

No one could say anything to that. They all just stared at him, unable to react to the powerful statement he’d just made.

Shichi stared right back at them all, unflinching and unwavering, ready to take on anyone who dared come between him and the revenge he was dishing out.

Finally, Valeriya spoke up.

“…Alright Shichi.” She muttered, her light blue eyes clashing with his icy blue ones. “Let’s get to work on your…revenge.”

“Thank you.” Shichi said flatly, turning back around to look at the file. “Because I’m going to have it, whether you help me or not.”

“Of course we’ll help you.” Aleks said instantly, placing a comforting hand on Shichi’s shoulder as he peered at the file beside him. “We’re your friends, after all.”

“Friendship tied deeply turns strangers into family.” Viktor said warmly, smiling at Shichi and copying Aleks’s comforting pat on his other shoulder.

“What Mr. Philosophical said!” Aleks said cheerfully, grinning at Shichi. “We’re practically family!”

“You three are so stupidly mushy.” Valeriya muttered, but she said nothing beyond that, merely nodding at Shichi in agreement with the statement.

Shichi smiled at them all, still trying to believe that he’d actually made friends like this, friends who considered themselves to be his family. And all it had taken was joining the mafia and pretending to shoot himself in the head. How simple, right?

“Thank you.” Shichi said again, his voice filled with honesty, as he picked Vorona’s papers off the floor they were examining them on. “I truly mean that.”

“I’m sure you do.” Valeriya said brusquely, grabbing the file from Shichi and peering at it with a hum. “Now we need to shut up and start trying to figure out exactly how we’re going to find these mysterious killers. Do any of you happen to have connections to other mafia branches, or at least know how we can find more information out about them?”

“What kind of information?” Aleks asked with a frown, cocking his head to the side. “Like basic stuff about where they’re based and what operations they tend to do?”

“What? No.” Valeriya scowled, rolling her eyes. “I mean like what are their weaknesses and strengths. Not just location or operations, but the leaders in charge, the weak links holding them back, the focuses they have and the blind spots that result from them. That sort of thing.”

“Why do we need all that?” Aleks asked, baffled by the idea. “It’s like you’re trying to set up a court case against them or something.”

“Well, all the details normally found in a court case to bring them down would be nearly exactly what we need to bring them down here.” Valeriya said coolly, looking not even the least bit uncertain or uncomfortable with her idea. “So? Do any of you happen to know exactly what we can do to bring these people down? Or have any contacts that do?”

Valeriya was looking for details that could bring down the gang who’d down this to Vorona. She was looking specifically for information that was so detailed, it technically qualified as a court case. A court case…a court case…why did that sound familiar? Was it bringing something to mind? Did he know someone who could help?

“Oh…Oh shit.” Shichi said aloud as the picture of a tall, grinning man covered in lynx tattoos popped into his mind, his face instantly going pale at the thought of the person he had in mind.

“What? Is something wrong, Shichi?” Aleks asked, looking at Shichi in concern. “Did you think of someone who could fit the bill?”

“P-Possibly.” Shichi grunted, praying for his mind to come up with something else other than that as a solution to their current predicament.

“Well, who is it?” Valeriya demanded, looking at Shichi intently. “Who’s this guy who can help us out? We need all the assistance we can get, no matter the cost.”

“It’s definitely the cost that I’m worried about.” Shichi muttered, recalling all the moments he’d had with the lynx man as of late and the types of encounters they’d turned into. “I have a pretty good idea of what he’ll ask for.”

“If money is the issue, siblings band together in support as one.” Viktor assured him, every bit as interested to see who this guy was as the others.

“Exactly. We’ll help you pay if it’s expensive.” Valeriya nodded, looking at Shichi firmly. “Just give us his name. Let us know who you’re going to ask for help.”

“I hope he helps without asking for anything this time.” Shichi muttered to himself, not ready to tell his fellow trainees exactly who he was thinking about. “Valeriya might not like this very much otherwise.”

“Huh? Why me?” Valeriya demanded, her face taking on a strange mixture of confusion and suspicion at the same time. “Do I know the person that you want to call?”

“Um…you could say that.” Shichi said slowly, rubbing the back of his head and avoiding eye contact. _“He’s sort of the reason you and I broke up.”_ Shichi thought to himself guiltily, picturing the stupid lynx’s grinning face once again.

God, Shichi hated that grinning face. That stupid, cheerful grin that almost never went away. Those sparkling blue eyes that went with it. That idiotically perfect hair. That strong jawline…the muscles…

No! No, Shichi was not heading down that pathway again!

“I refuse!” Shichi suddenly yelped, startling all his classmates as he grabbed his hair in his head, shaking his head frantically. “I refuse to go down that rabbit hole!”

“Well, that’s just so saddening to hear,” A smooth voice called from behind them all, echoing throughout the compound as a huge man stepped inside of it, Egor at his side.

Shichi’s head snapped around instantly, his eyes widening as they landed on the man he’d apparently summoned with his thoughts.

No. No, no, no, no it just couldn’t be true. He was trying to focus on finding the bastards who’d attacked Vorona right now. He didn’t have the time to get distracted by the manifestation of man’s perfection right there in front of him! He didn’t have the time for it!

And yet, despite Shichi’s internal and frantic pleading with the universe, the huge man remained right where he was inside the compound, grinning that mischievous grin at Shichi that told him trouble was coming.

“But luckily for you,” The man called, holding up a briefcase in the air as he smiled at Shichi. “I’m here of my own free will, and I’m ready to help you without cost. Vorona means just as much to me as she does to you.”

“Class, I expect you to treat Kazimir with respect.” Egor added on from beside the source of Shichi’s pain, giving Valeriya an especially hard look. “He’s here to help you out. And I suggest you take him up on that offer of help.”

“Why should we?!” Valeriya suddenly shrieked, jumping to her feet and glaring at Kazimir in livid rage. “This freakish cyborg-of-a-man is the last thing we need right now! All he does is distract Shichi and get him to do stupid things.”

“Like breaking up with you?” Aleks pointed out sweetly, grinning in excitement at Kazimir. “Personally, I think he’s a wonderful influence.”

“No one asked you.” Valeriya snapped, smacking Aleksander over the head. “So shut up!”

“Valeriya, don’t make this any harder.” Egor sighed, clearly tired of all the shenanigans he went through thanks to this training program. “Kazimir has valuable information for you and you should take him up on it. Particularly since he’s doing this for free.”

“Besides,” Kazimir added on, walking off the platform he and Egor were standing on and heading over to their small huddle without a care in the world. “I’ve got information that you can’t ignore.”

“Like what?” Valeriya asked skeptically, eyeing Kazimir’s briefcase as he set it down and opened it up in front of them, as calm as Shichi had ever seen him. “What could you possibly know that would get me to shut up and listen to you?”

“The identity of the person who hurt Vorona.” Kazimir said flatly, throwing a thick manila folder down on the ground in front of them with an ominous thud. “How about that?”

The whole room fell silent, everyone just staring at the thick file resting before them.

Even Valeriya.

Kazimir waited for a few seconds, letting them all take the information in, before he pulled the file towards him and opened it, frowning darkly at the picture inside.

“His name is Vadim.” Kazimir announced, his blue eyes totally unreadable as he stared at the man inside the folder. “But he’s known as the Ice Assassin. He’s an extremely dangerous freelancer who works for anyone that pays him enough to get on his good side.”

“A free lancer?” Aleks repeated, looking at Kazimir’s face in worry. “Wouldn’t that make him hard to track down?”

“Not at all.” Kazimir said coldly, still glaring down at the face of the Ice Assassin in the folder before him. “I can find this bastard anywhere.”

He slammed the folder shut before anyone could say anything else, leaving it on the floor with them and picking up his briefcase again.

“I have a court case to attend in thirty minutes so I’ll be leaving soon.” He said abruptly, looking down at them all and at Shichi especially, their eyes locking. “So look over those files while I’m gone and when I get back, we can discuss what to do next.”

Shichi stared into Kazimir’s eyes, trying to figure out exactly what the look he was seeing in them was. It was something he hadn’t seen before in them, not even when he’d gotten furious at Valeriya weeks ago. It wasn’t fury at all. More like…fear? But fear didn’t seem like the right word either. There was sadness in there, too. And guilt. And just the slightest desire for revenge.

Shichi could see all those emotions boiling just below the surface of Kazimir’s eyes as they held each other’s gazes, neither one looking away from the other for several seconds.

“I’ll…be going now.” The tall man finally said, spinning on his heel and marching out of the compound.

Egor watched him go, an unreadable look in his own eyes as his friend moved past him, fists clenched at his sides.

_“Металл все еще находится в вашем сердце, а не в теле (Metall vse yeshche nakhoditsya v vashem serdtse, a ne v tele).”_ He muttered under his breath, watching Kazimir go.

Shichi’s Russian was definitely improving, but he couldn’t understand exactly what Egor had said just then.

“What did he say?” Shichi whispered, looking over at Aleks to his side.

Aleks looked just as confused as Shichi, though, turning to face him with a frown. “He said…the metal is still in your heart, not your body.” Aleksander translated in slow English, glancing over at their teacher. “But I have no idea what he means by that.”

Shichi looked over at Egor as well, then at the door Kazimir had just passed through, the image of his turmoil-filled eyes still clear in his mind. 

And as he thought of Kazimir’s eyes, Egor’s words, Vorona’s wound, and the manila files laying right at his feet, a single question began to burn in Shichi’s mind like nothing else had before.

Who was the Ice Assassin?

***

_“I’m going to be done now.”_ Shichi announced, stretching on the other side of the phone. _“I’m a cranky old man and I need my beauty sleep.”_

“I give up.” Izaya sighed weakly, just handing the phone over to Shizuo with an air of depression about him. “I’m done. I can’t help the cliffhangers that just keep coming. This one isn’t do bad but…I’m powerless to stop them. There’s nothing more I can do.”

“Don’t be so dramatic.” Shizuo chided, smiling fondly at his despondent boyfriend as he put the phone to his ear. “Thanks for the story, Shichi.” He said politely. “We’ll let you get to your nap now.”

_“Wow, really? Thanks!”_ Shichi sounded delighted on the other side of the phone, clearly pleased that Izaya wasn’t going to try and stop him like usual.

“No problem.” Shizuo responded, glancing out of the corner of his eye at the huffing raven now flipping through movie recommendations on Netflix, ready to drown out his sorrows in rom-coms. “Good night, Shichi.”

_“Good night, Shizuo. Tell Izaya that we all say good night to him, too.”_ Shichi said through the phone, hanging up a few seconds later.

Shizuo looked over at his own phone now, still recording, and gave it a small wave. “Well, that was it for this episode of “Shichi’s Adventures in Russia”.” He announced, smiling at the black lens watching him. “Join us next time to see what happens to Shichi and Kazimir with this Ice Assassin dude.”

“Or to figure out exactly what Ice Assassin dude’s and Kazimir’s history together is!” Izaya announced, poking his head into the frame. “Since my good-for-nothing father likes to cut us all off with half of a proper story every time!”

Shizuo sighed and shook his head, offering the camera a short shrug. “We’ll see you for Episode Sixteen: Ice, Lynx, Bear.”

“Til then!” Izaya nodded, his red eyes lighting up as he spotted a rom-com he had yet to watch. “Shizu-chan! I found the perfect one!”

“Oh…wonderful…” Shizuo winced, looking right at the camera in misery. “Wish me luck.” He muttered, leaning over to turn it off.

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic.” Izaya scolded from the couch, patting the seat next to him. “Come here. We’re watching this tonight so I can recuperate from my grief.”

“Alright Izaya. But seriously. Next time I get to choose the movie. Deal?”

“Deal. Now shut up. Leonardo is in this one.”

“Because _that’s_ always a good sign.”

“…Shut up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kazimir and the Ice Assassin have a past...oooooh...possible interference with the Kazichi ship? Or is it just bad blood? Well, I guess we'll find out!
> 
> Also, depending on how crazy my Fridays seem to be for a while, I may have to move the release date of these chapters to the weekends or to Mondays. It may calm down but it also may not. Sorry if that inconveniences any of you! We'll just have to see how it plays out. Thank you guys for being so patient with this story and for actually reading it. You guys are awesome! 《《o(≧◇≦)o》》
> 
> I'll see you Friday! Or...Monday. You know, whenever my life works out some spare time! Bye! <3


	17. Ice, Lynx, Bear (Лед, рысь, медведь)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody! I know this update is SUPER RIDICULOUSLY LATE!
> 
> ...like a whole week late...
> 
> But I'm going to be updating every other week now so technically it's on time. I was wondering if I should post a quick announcement chapter like I did once with "Private Lessons" to let all of you guys know that that was what I'm doing, but I decided not to because it took me forever to figure out how to take the chapter down and replace it with another one that showed it updating on the day I put the replacement in. It just goes back to the day I put the announcement which means you guys wouldn't have been able to see me update the new chapter unless you scrolled back a few days and I hated trying to figure that out before.
> 
> Anyways, so I'll let you know why the update schedule is changing at the end of this chapter! I hope you guys like this one! See you at the end! <3

“The viewers agree with me. This Ice Assassin is bad news in more ways than one.” Izaya protested, pointing out the obvious with a pout. “Not only did he poison and attempt murder on an innocent child, but he may be trying to ruin the Kazichi ship! And it hasn’t even technically sailed yet!”

“Why are your priorities so messed up?” Shizuo wondered aloud, setting up his phone like usual for the episode broadcast. “Sometimes, I think you care more about the fact that your ship might get wrecked than you do about the fact that a child was poisoned and possibly murdered.”

“That’s not true.” Izaya said immediately, whipping out his own phone and getting ready to dial Shichi’s number. “I care equally as much about both. One just incites more panic than the other since I have a guess for the outcome of the first and absolutely no clue as to the result of the second.”

Shizuo raised an eyebrow at this, looking back at his boyfriend in curiosity. “You mean you know what’s going to happen to Vorona?” He asked, seeming surprised by this.

“I have a pretty good guess.” Izaya said mysteriously, bringing up his father’s contact and looking at Shizuo imploringly. “But now it’s time to see if my guess is correct. So get this show on the road and start that recording, mister!”

Shizuo sighed, clicking the start button on his camera and shaking his head fondly at his crazy boyfriend. “Welcome to Episode Sixteen of “ Shichi’s Adventures in Russia”!” He declared, waving at the screen with a small smile. “Today’s episode: Ice, Lynx, Bear. What on earth is the story with this Ice Assassin? What is going on with Vorona? Will Shichi finally kill something today? What’s going to happen? Let’s find out.”

“Hey, Dad!” Izaya chirped in the background, clearly eager to begin this broadcast. “How are you? Uh huh. That’s great. So will you continue the story now? Yes! I need to know what happened to Vorona and what happened between Kazimir and the Ice Assassin…”

***

It only took them about two days to track down the Ice Assassin. Kazimir had been right when he’d said he could find him anywhere. That “anywhere” turned out to be a seedy bar in downtown Russia (how cliché of him) called “Mother’s Lament”. 

As unusual a name for a bar as that was already, when Shichi walked inside with Kazimir, Valeriya, Aleks, and Viktor, he could easily see why mothers would lament over their children being here.

The place was poorly lit, with a thick smell of dankness and rot hanging in the air. The wooden bar was a little run down with only a few drinks stocked behind it, mostly hard vodka and some whiskey. The barstools were creaking and some were missing legs. Every single man here was drunk and seemed like the worst kind of drunk: the kind spending their last ounce of money on another shot while their personal lives wasted away at home. The ones whose relationship statuses might be described as “complicated” while in reality, that just meant “in a very serious relationship with alcohol – we’re about to get married”.

Shichi’s nose wrinkled right upon walking in, his icy gaze raking over every sleazy drunkard around him, trying to figure out which one of these losers was the man he wanted to kill. Or at the very least, force him to say who’d hired him.

Shichi had ten days left to find all these people and bring them to justice, for Vorona’s sake. And with God and the devil as his witnesses, he was going to do it.

“So…where is this Ice Assassin?” Shichi wondered aloud when he didn’t see anyone who looked like they had their life together, turning his attention up at the tall man next to him.

Kazimir’s eyes were narrowed as his gaze moved slowly across the room, taking in every detail around him like a bad memory, a low curl of disgust and loathing creeping over his lips. “He’s here alright.” The huge lynx muttered, slowly walking into the bar almost as if he hadn’t even registered Shichi’s voice. “Vadim…where the fuck are you?”

Shichi raised an eyebrow at the dark tone in Kazimir’s voice, him and the others exchanging brief looks before following the lawyer deeper into the bar.

_“В тихом омуте черти водятся. (V tikhom omute cherti vodyatsya).”_ Viktor muttered under his breath, eyeing Kazimir’s back in worry.

“What does that mean?” Shichi asked, looking over at their guide as he marched ahead of them, shoulders set with tension and body faced strictly forward, not even glancing back at them. 

“It’s an old Russian proverb.” Aleks whispered to him in explanation, nodding at Viktor as if he agreed. “It means, ‘The still waters are inhabited by devils’.”

Shichi nodded his head slowly as he thought about this, turning his attention on Valeriya next. “And what does _that_ mean?” He asked her, watching her light eyes flicker over to land on him before turning back to Kazimir.

“It means that behind a façade of kindness and modesty, there might be dark passions waiting for the chance to be released.” She said flatly, a hint of nervousness flashing in her eyes as she watched Kazimir. “It means that no matter how friendly someone seems, they all have demons that they keep inside…until something lets them out.”

Shichi felt a chill shoot down his back at that ominous statement, his gaze returning to those set shoulders as Kazimir finally pushed his way to the bar itself, leaning over the counter and calling the current bartender over to him. His face was as hard as stone. His eyes were dark and unreadable. But his jaw was set in anger and guilt.

Dark passions? Demons? What exactly was Kazimir’s connection to this Ice Assassin? Who was Vadim?

Shichi and the others nervously sat beside Kazimir at the bar, turning down drinks when the bartender looked at them imploringly, the four of them gazing around the establishment for anyone who looked like a possible master assassin.

“You said he was a freelancer, right?” Shichi muttered in a low voice to Kazimir, his icy eyes scanning everyone around him. “So he shouldn’t be wearing any distinguishing marks for the group he works for.”

“Most likely not.” Kazimir responded gruffly, taking a shot of vodka as he watched the bartender prepare more drinks. “He’s a tricky bastard. But he did just finish a job so he might be holding some kind of check or payment from his employers that we can trace. He usually takes about a week to actually get around to mailing those things in.”

Shichi watched Kazimir carefully out of the corner of his eye. “You really know a lot about this Ice Assassin guy.” He said slowly, noticing a slight twitch in Kazimir’s jaw when he said so. “Why do you know him so well?”

Kazimir remained silent after that. Shichi held his breath, waiting to see if he was going to get an answer. But nothing came. The tall man just continued to direct his gaze around the room, not a single word coming from between those tightly-closed lips.

“Kazimir…” Shichi muttered softly, slowly reaching his hand out towards Kazimir’s arm. _“What’s wrong?”_

Before Shichi could actually place his hand on Kazimir’s arm, however, the tall man shot up in his seat, eyes suddenly blazing as they locked on something across the room.

“There he is.” The lynx growled, standing up as his fists clenched angrily at his sides. “Vadim.”

Shichi, Valeriya, Aleks, and Viktor all turned around to see who Kazimir was looking at, their eyes falling instantly on one man directly across the bar from them.

The man had icy blue hair, dyed to a fine, crystallic color that matched his pale blue eyes. His skin looked insanely pale as well, practically tinged with blue at the edges. His fingernails had a light coating of icy blue polish over them which matched the single earring hanging from his left ear that glittered like an ice diamond below his lobe. He wore an icy blue shirt under a snow-white winter coat, lined in pure white fur at the edges. His white skinny jeans tucked into equally white boots lined in fur as well. His face was completely blank, flatter in expression than anything else Shichi had ever seen, and his eyes as they locked on Kazimir looked cold and distant, perfectly matching the rest of his outfit.

Just looking at the man made Shichi feel like shivering. No wonder he was called the Ice Assassin.

The Ice Assassin watched them all from across the room, his eyes trailing lazily yet calculatingly over each other of them, analyzing them and dismissing them almost instantly, with just a little bit of a pause when they reached Shichi. When those icy eyes landed on him, they flicked him up and down a few times before moving onto Kazimir.

And on Kazimir they stayed.

The Ice Assassin locked eyes with Kazimir, unblinking and unflinching, staring at him from across the room. There was no change in his expression or attitude, but Shichi swore that the man shifted in his seat somewhat, opening his body almost tauntingly towards Kazimir. It was as though he was saying “come and get me” to the growling man glaring at him.

Who was this man? What connection did he have to Kazimir?

“Kaz.” Shichi said quietly, his hand gripping Kazimir’s sleeve tightly as he eyed the Ice Assassin. “Relax.”

Kazimir froze at the contact that had been made with his body, his growl fading away as though he’d forgotten that other people were standing beside him as well.

“Shichi.” Kazimir muttered in a low voice, his hand shifting slightly in Shichi’s grip so that Shichi’s hand fell away from him. “Don’t. Not right now.”

Shichi felt a pang of hurt in his chest at the rebuff, gentle as it had been, tucking his hand swiftly into his pocket and turning his attention back on the Ice Assassin. He needed to squash these stupid feelings that seemed to keep rising up towards Kazimir. He had a job to do and they were getting in the way of it. Stupid teenage hormones. Making him act like an idiot and feel like he could calm down the clear rage emanating from the man beside him.

Sometimes, Shichi seriously hated how idiotic he could be if his heart got involved instead of his head.

When Shichi’s gaze managed to refocus on the Ice Assassin, he saw that the pale man was now watching him, that same blank expression on his face, the icy eyes locked with his.  
Shichi could feel cold fear shoot down his spine when he looked into those dead eyes, watching him almost accusingly from across the room, his stupid heart pounding wildly in his chest.

It was like the guy wasn’t even human. With those flat facial expression and that nearly-dead look to everything about him, Shichi was more inclined to believe the Ice Assassin was secretly a deranged vampire. It creeped him out.

But he couldn’t worry himself about that right now! He needed to do this for Vorona!

Poor, little Vorona who still hadn’t woken up from her poison-induced coma…because of this man.

Shichi’s gaze narrowed instantly as he remembered that factoid, fear dissipating in the face of rage and retribution. Screw his own safety and screw the vampire watching him. If this guy had fucked with Vorona, then he was going down. Shichi didn’t care if he had twenty more years of experience than him or two hundred. He would not stand by now that Vorona’s attacker and potential murderer was right in front of him.

Before his reason could kick in and stop him, Shichi began marching across the bar towards the Ice Assassin, his glare fixed firmly on his face as he pushed past the drunk bar-goers and made his way to the vampire watching him.

He was vaguely aware of a startled Kazimir calling his name from behind him, probably trying to keep him from walking straight to his death, but Shichi honestly didn’t care.

_“Don’t. Not right now.”_ Shichi wanted to call back, the petty comeback dying on his lips as he finally stopped in front of the Ice Assassin himself, crossing his arms and glaring down at the lounging, pale man.

Shichi stood by the small, rickety table and glared down at him, and the Ice Assassin stared right back up from his creaking chair. Neither one said a word.

Until some waiter passing by mistook Shichi’s awkward standing as a result of the lack of seats at the Ice Assassin’s table (there was only the one that the assassin himself was sitting in) and pulled over another chair from a different table, gesturing cheerfully at Shichi to sit down in it.

Shichi stared at the man like he was crazy, perfectly ready to rebuke the offer without remorse. “Excuse me, but what the hell is this chair for?” He demanded, glaring at the confused waiter beside him.

“Clearly to allow you to sit down with your friend.” The waiter responded, frowning in bafflement as he looked from the pale vampire to Shichi and back again. “That is why you were standing so awkwardly here, no?”

“No.” Shichi responded harshly, planting his hand on the edge of the chair and preparing to push it away. “Clearly I was trying to intimidate the asshole sitting right here in front of me. And we aren’t friends in any way, shape, or form.”

“Huh?” The waiter blinked, still obviously very confused by what was going on. “Not friends?”

Was Russian even this guy’s first language?

“No.” Shichi snapped angrily, his icy eyes flashing at the man. “We’re-”

“Boyfriends.” The Ice Assassin cut in flatly, dead gaze locked on the waiter now. “And we’re in the midst of a lover’s spat, therefore he is angry with me. Allow him to do as he will while we attempt to reconstruct our unstable relationship.”

…The fuck?

“Boyfriends?!” Shichi repeated incredulously, gawking down at the unblinking ice man below him. “Look pal! I don’t know who you think you are, but-”

“He is quite distraught at this moment. Leave us be.” The Ice Assassin interrupted yet again, still not even glancing at Shichi as he nodded his head at the waiter. “Vanish from this area.”

The waiter looked severely disturbed by the idea of two men dating each other. He looked at Shichi then the assassin once more, his confused face now shifted into one of nervousness and almost revulsion.

Well, that was just rude. Homophobic much?

But in any case, the waiter quickly wished them a good day, giving them one more almost-sick-to-his-stomach-at-the-sight-of-them look before turning tail and running off into the bar.

Shichi watched him go, wondering if that had been the Ice Assassin’s plan all along. “Were you just trying to scare him away?” Shichi asked flatly, turning a glare back on the man sitting calmly below him. “You freaking psychopath.”

“Have a seat, Shichi.” The Ice Assassin responded calmly, gesturing towards the new chair that had been placed across from him. “Then we can discuss why you’ve come here.”

Shichi snarled at how stupidly composed this man was, plopping down unhappily in the seat across from him and sparing a quick glance towards the bar where all of his friends were.

He could clearly see Valeriya, Aleks, and Viktor, all watching him with petrified faces of fear, their hands on the various weapons they had hidden around their bodies. They were ready to step in and protect him the instant this master assassin (one who was ranked even higher than their own teacher Egor) attacked Shichi. That honestly meant a lot to him.  
His own family back home wouldn’t have even done that.

When Shichi turned his gaze to Kazimir, he saw the man watching him anxiously, eyes flicking back and forth between Shichi and the Ice Assassin, his body frozen in place like he wasn’t able to or was unwilling to come any closer to them. He looked concerned for Shichi’s safety and pissed beyond belief at the Ice Assassin, but for some reason he wasn’t able to approach.

Perhaps it had something to do with his orders from the mafia. He wasn’t supposed to interfere in Shichi’s mission beyond getting him to the Ice Assassin. But man did he look like he was in turmoil over those orders right now.

But Shichi couldn’t focus on that. He needed to interrogate this god-damn asshole first.

Shichi turned his gaze back on the Ice Assassin, glaring at those icy blue eyes that were so much like his own. “Do you know why I’m here?” He growled, fists clenching on the table. “I’m assuming you do if you already know my name and shit like that.”

“You’re here to either kill me or interrogate me over my mission with your precious Vorona.” The Ice Assassin said calmly, taking a small drink from the glass on the table in front of him. “I advise you to follow the second course of action. If you attempt to kill me, I will retaliate in kind. And unfortunately for you, you will not accomplish much in the short time you have to live.”

_“This prick is so sure of himself.”_ Shichi thought, his fists squeezing even tighter as he glared at the pale man. _“I wish I could shove those words back down his throat. The problem…is that he’s right. God, I hate him already.”_

“Pushing that aside,” Shichi growled, dragging himself back into the present. “Are you going to give me the information I want? Because I will attempt to attack you if you don’t, no matter how badly I fail.”

“You won’t just fail. You’ll die. In effect, leaving little Vorona’s death in vain.” The Ice Assassin said calmly, setting down his drink and steepling his fingers as he examined Shichi. “But I am willing to part with some information for you to track down my previous employers.”

“Really? Already?” Shichi growled suspiciously, not trusting this freelancer at all. “You’re already turning on the people who give you your paycheck?”

The Ice Assassin shrugged nonchalantly, still watching Shichi with careful, dead eyes. “My deal with them is complete. I have no more loyalty towards them whatsoever.” He said calmly. “I would be willing to sell them out. But the key word there is ‘sell’.”

Shichi huffed at this, leaning back and glaring at the jerk before him. “How much money are you asking? I don’t have anything on me.” Shichi snarled, wanting to punch this guy in the face so badly.

The Ice Assassin’s eyes flicked over to look at Kazimir, his expression blank and unreadable. “Answer a few questions for me.” He said after a few seconds of watching the tall man, turning his dead eyes back on Shichi. “That will be enough.”

“A few…questions?” Shichi wondered aloud, trying to figure out where this was going. “What could I possibly know the answers to that would be worth it to sell out your employers?”

“Questions that even I can’t figure out without going to a direct source.” The Ice Assassin said calmly, leaning in towards Shichi with those steepled hands. “Do you accept my proposal? Or do you truly want to fight me and die before bringing Vorona justice?”

_“I have met a lot of pricks but this guy is the fucking cactus.”_ Shichi thought instantly.

“I accept your proposal…asshole.”

The Ice Assassin kindly pretended not to hear that last comment, nodding and thinking for a few seconds about his first question.

“Is Kazimir…seeing anybody?” He asked slowly, icy eyes watching Shichi carefully.

“Huh?” Shichi blinked in shock, looking over at Kazimir in confusion. “Seeing anybody? Uh, no? I don’t think so. I mean, he doesn’t seem like the kind of guy to cheat on his partner and he’s flirted with me nonstop for weeks so I’m guessing he’s single. But…why?”

“I’m asking questions. Not you.” The Ice Assassin said swiftly, waving off Shichi’s question and moving on to his next one. “Are he and you dating?”

“No!” Shichi snapped, feeling his cheeks flare red at the thought of it. “He invades my personal space, follows me around like an annoying puppy, kisses me whenever he feels like it, and constantly harasses me and threatens to take my virginity but we are not dating!”

The Ice Assassin nodded slowly, his blank gaze still completely unchanged. “I see.” He said flatly. “And are you dating anyone?”

“Are you trying to live your romantic life vicariously through other people because you’re such a creepy social outcast?” Shichi scowled, wondering what was up with all these weird questions. “Why do you need to know?”

A small smile twitched briefly over the Ice Assassin’s face, vanishing so quickly that Shichi wondered if it had ever been there in the first place. “Just answer the question, Shichi.” He instructed, tapping the table expectantly. “Like a good, little boy.”

Shichi gnashed his teeth together and glared at the Ice Assassin, feeling very wrong about answering all these personal things. But…he needed to find those people and kill them. He couldn’t kill the Ice Assassin, and his full mission report told him not to try either. Apparently, his mafia branch liked to work with the Ice Assassin from time-to-time as well, so they wanted to maintain good relations with him.

Also they did not want to see Shichi die.

So he was only supposed to find the people who’d hired the emotionless prick. If only Shichi could stop the murderous urge to attack that was running through his veins.  
“No.” He managed to bite out, glaring at the assassin as coldly as possible. “I’m not dating anyone either.”

The Ice Assassin nodded, taking another small drink of the alcohol before him. “Your parents and family.” He said next, eyes locking with Shichi’s. “Tell me about them.”

“Why the hell should I do that?” Shichi snapped, standing up from his seat and glaring down at the Ice Assassin. “For all I know, you could be planning their deaths! Not that I would mind too much…but that’s not the point!”

“At least tell me where you’re from then. It’s clearly not Russia. Your accent is a little off.” The Ice Assassin said calmly, not even twitching at the fuming boy standing above him.  
“Japan.” Shichi snarled harshly, slamming himself back down in his seat and trying not to throttle the guy. “I’m from Japan and that’s all you’re getting out of me.”

“Very well.” The Ice Assassin said smoothly, cocking his head as he studied Shichi some more. “You’re a teenager. How long have you been in training to be an assassin?”

Well, at least that question felt a little more normal.

What did it say about Shichi’s life that questions about assassin training were now more normal to hear than questions about his romantic life and family?

“A couple of months.” Shichi muttered, settling back slightly in his chair. “That’s all.”

“And you were selected as Egor’s top recruit?” The Ice Assassin nodded his head, eyes flicking Shichi up and down. “Impressive.”

“It’s a fluke, but thanks.” Shichi huffed, glaring at the assassin. “Are we done now?”

“Not quite.” The man responded, swirling the ice in his drink around casually. “If you could be anywhere in the world, doing anything you wanted to do right now, what would you be doing?”

“Is this our fucking first date or something? Why are you asking all this?” Shichi yelled, wishing this interrogation was going in the reverse direction. “I’d be burying you in a grave in Switzerland, singing a tune about drinking parties. Next question.”

The Ice Assassin let out a small chuckle at Shichi’s answer, his face still oddly blank and flat as he continued his stream of invasive questions.

“Why did you come to Russia and join the mafia?” He asked, peering at Shichi. “Answer this one without sarcasm, if you will.”

Shichi snorted at the request and leaned back fully in his chair, crossing his arms with a growl. “I came here to look for my real parents.” He muttered under his breath, wondering why these questions were so personal. “Joining the mafia was an accident.”

Thankfully, the Ice Assassin didn’t ask for further details on that. He simply nodded and moved on, setting his drink down and turning his attention completely on Shichi.

“How do you plan on killing these men when I tell you how to find them?” He asked flatly, studying Shichi’s face with those dead eyes. “You have zero experience, and they aren’t exactly easy targets like, say, the two-year-old daughter of a weapons dealer.”

Shichi’s fists clenched at the none-too-subtle jab, glaring fiercely at the man before him. “I don’t know how I’ll kill them.” He growled honestly, passion flaring in his icy eyes as he stared down one of the most dangerous men in Russia. “But I’ll do it. Mark my words, Ice Boy. I’m going to murder those bastards and bring their heads right to the foot of my boss’s fancy chair. Got it?”

The Ice Assassin watched Shichi for a few seconds, his eyes slowly examining each and every feature of the young boy’s face with interest. He seemed to be judging whether or not Shichi was lying, or uncertain about his own bold words.

After this deep examination, the Ice Assassin smiled – another one of those rare flickers that Shichi doubted the existence of two seconds later – and nodded once more. “I see. Well then. I suppose there’s no point in me keeping this from you. You’d find them anyway, whether I told you or not.” The pale man said calmly, producing a small packet from inside his thick white coat.

He set it down on the table in front of Shichi, pushing it towards the teenage boy. “This packet contains the pin I wore on my lapel in order to attain access to their buildings.” He said calmly. “It has the insignia of the branch you seek and engraved on the back is the group number of the men who ordered the attack. There are only eleven of them. It is a rather small but highly skilled group.”

Shichi looked down at the packet, feeling as though he’d somehow traded away his soul to the devil in order to obtain it. Should he actually take this thing? It felt so sketchy to do that. It felt wrong and illegal. Well, technically this whole operation was illegal. But still. Shichi almost felt like he shouldn’t pick up that tiny little packet, despite all the trouble he’d just gone through for it.

But when it came down to it, would Shichi sell his soul to the devil in order to get revenge for Vorona?

…

Yes. Yes, he would.

Shichi grabbed the packet off the table, slipping it into his pocket and standing up in one fluid motion, giving the Ice Assassin a sharp nod in thanks. “I appreciate your cooperation.” He said smoothly, more than ready to get out of that bar as soon as possible. “Have a terrible day.”

An hand latched onto Shichi’s arm just as he was turning to leave, though, yanking him to a halt.

Shichi nearly yelped at the feeling of the hand on his arm – like the long-dead hands of an iced over corpse had suddenly come to life, gripping his skin and freezing the life out of the places on him that they touched. It was unbearably cold, and Shichi felt like his skin would go numb if he had too much contact with that freezing hand. It was the complete opposite of Kazimir’s fiery warmth – whereas that had made Shichi feel safe and comforted, this made him feel like death was just one icy breath away.

Shichi’s head snapped around to look at the pale man grabbing his arm, the blue-tinged face suddenly much higher in the air as the man stood up, revealing himself to be at least a foot taller than Shichi himself.

The Ice Assassin looked down at Shichi, his cold grip on the boy’s arm unfaltering as he stared right into Shichi’s eyes.

“One last question.” He said flatly, bending over to mutter lowly in Shichi’s ear, icy breath numbing it as it wafting over his skin, raising goosebumps.

“How is the metal…in Kazimir’s arm?”

Shichi’s heart pounded in his chest at the question, his eyes slowly moving over to look at Kazimir, standing on the other side of the bar.

The lynx was watching him in fear and anxiety, already one step away from the bar despite the harsh orders holding him back, gaze locked on the way the Ice Assassin was leaning in so close to Shichi. His normally-twinkling blue eyes were practically distraught, looking at Shichi imploringly as if trying to make sure he was still okay. Shichi’s gaze traveled to the muscular arm of the tall man, imagining the shining metal embedded deep beneath the tattooed flesh.

“It’s…doing its job.” He said finally, looking back at the neck of the icy man beside him. He could see the veins in the blue-tinged neck, but even so close to it, he couldn’t quite make out a pulse beneath the icy skin. This man…he seemed inhuman.

“Hm.” The Ice Assassin hummed lowly in Shichi’s ear, considering the weight of his vague words. “I see. Tell him…that I do regret our final encounter…and that I’m sorry I betrayed him at that moment in time. If I had known he truly loved me…I might have acted less coldly.”

W-What? What the hell did this guy mean by “truly loved”? Exactly what was Kazimir and this guy’s history here?!

“What are you-” Shichi started to demand, ignoring the numb feeling creeping across his whole body at the close proximity he had to the ice man.

But he didn’t get a single word out past that, because the Ice Assassin pulled away from Shichi’s ear…and planted his lips right across Shichi’s.

Shichi’s whole body froze in shock, his brain practically short-circuiting just like it did whenever Kazimir kissed him. But this was different. When Kazimir kissed him, it was the heat and warmth and passion that seemed to overtake Shichi’s mind, dragging him helplessly into the moment. When the Ice Assassin’s frozen lips touched Shichi’s, it was like a feeling of sub-zero cold, erasing every thought he had running in his mind with a blanket of soul-numbing ice. The freezing cold was blinding, almost binding, wiping out Shichi’s every ability to move with its shocking power. His whole arm felt like it was freezing off now as the Ice Assassin gripped it, sending his cold power numbing Shichi’s lips as an equally cold tongue gently perused the inside of Shichi’s mouth, coating every inch of it with a layer of ice.

He couldn’t move. He couldn’t speak. He couldn’t fight. He was frozen in place.

After what felt like an eternity of this blinding, painful cold, the Ice Assassin pulled away…and vanished into the bar.

Shichi stood in place for several seconds, his brain trying to remember how to work again after the freezing shock that had just attacked it, his mouth and lips and tongue and teeth all buzzing and numb and unable to move. His fingers twitched uselessly at his sides when he tried to move his arms, and every rush of wind throughout the bar chilled him to the bone.

The Ice Assassin.

It was more than just his appearance that gave him that name. No wonder he was so dangerous. Even his kisses…even his love seemed made to destroy. That man…he was like Russia personified. Ice personified.

Death personified.

It terrified Shichi beyond any reason.

“Shichi!” A loud voice yelled, breaking through the layers of ice that had coated Shichi’s mind, the teenager’s head moving over just in time to see Kazimir come running at him, the tall man wrapping his arms tightly around Shichi’s freezing body.

“Oh my God! Shichi, are you okay?” Kazimir asked in a panic, his hands rubbing swiftly up and down Shichi’s unfeeling arms. “I had no idea he was going to do something like that. I’m so sorry! I would’ve come over sooner if I’d known! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Kazimir just kept chanting his apologies as the others ran over as well, all of them panicking and freaking out over the tinge of blue that had apparently drained Shichi’s face of color, making him look like he was catching hypothermia just by standing inside.

“Shichi, are you alright?” Aleks asked in worry, breathing hot air into his hands and pressing them against Shichi’s cheeks, trying to warm him up.

“A drink of heat must be retrieved to revive the dead soul.” Viktor said anxiously, running away to the bar counter to order some kind of hot beverage. How the bartender was going to understand what he wanted was beyond Shichi, but he wasn’t really able to think about that too much right now. He was too cold.

“Shichi, what the hell was that?” Valeriya demanded, grabbing one of Shichi’s hands and rubbing it frantically between hers. “He…He _kissed_ you! Why did he kiss you? What happened during that conversation?”

Shichi didn’t respond. He simply closed his eyes and leaned into Kazimir’s chest, shivering body trying to revel in the pounding heat pouring off the tall man. As his hands ran up and down Shichi’s body, searing heat slowly bringing each inch of it back to life, Shichi could only think about how totally opposite Kazimir and the Ice Assassin were.

And about those last words he’d been instructed to say.

“He says…” Shichi muttered softly to Kazimir, in a voice only the tall man could hear. “That he regrets your final encounter…that he’s sorry he betrayed you at that moment…and that if he’d known you loved him, he would’ve acted differently.”

Kazimir paused at this, his warmth still radiating out and heating Shichi up.

“That’s the key word there, isn’t it?” The tall lynx asked softly. “‘Act’. Because when it comes down to it, that’s all Vadim can do.”

Vadim. A Russian name with obscure roots and meanings. It’s closest possible meanings are to rule over others and blame others, and to attract and possess. In general, the name is largely unknown, and very rare.

How fitting for the Ice Assassin.

Shichi’s cold was being overcome by Kazimir’s warmth. He could still feel the packet Vadim had given him, clutched tightly in his hand, just the tiniest bit of Vadim’s ice still pulsing from it. Heat and cold. Fire and ice. The lynx and the bear. The lynx and the ice. Opposites, pushing and pulling at each other. Pushing him away and pulling him near. He was…too tired for all this right now. His brain wasn’t making any sense.

Kazimir and Vadim. What was their story? Was Vadim responsible for the metal in Kazimir’s arm? Had he betrayed Kazimir at some point? Were they friends? Were they lovers? And why was Vadim so interested in Shichi now? Was he still interested in Kazimir?

He just didn’t know. And he couldn’t think about it right now. So he fell asleep in Kazimir’s warmth, Vadim’s cold wrapped tightly in his hand, and passed into unconsciousness.

***

_“…I haven’t seen Vadim in a while.”_ Shichi commented softly on the other side of the phone. _“Can I stop talking about him for now? Honestly, just thinking about him makes me shiver. It always has.”_

“I’m not surprised.” Shizuo said on the other end, shuddering at the thought of the corpse-like man.

“But you never told us what happened with Vorona.” Izaya pointed out, glaring at the phone. “Is she alright?”

_“Look, she was still asleep at that time period, okay? I only found out what happened to her after I found those men that had hired Vadim.”_ Shichi sighed. _“But I really don’t want to talk about it. I’m getting cold. And…oh God damn it! I promise the girls I would take them out for ice cream after this! Ah, now I’m going to be freezing my tail off and the ice cream is going to kill me! Thanks a lot, boys.”_

“It’s not our fault you met such a creepy person in Russia.” Izaya huffed, already sensing the phone call was coming to an end. “Well, I hope you and the girls enjoy your little treat.”

_“Thanks. We’ll try.”_ Shichi replied. _“You and Shizuo have a good Friday, alright?”_

“Alright.” Izaya chirped. “Bye, Dad.”

_“Bye.”_ The line hung up soon afterwards and Izaya let out a heavy sigh, turning to look at Shizuo dejectedly. “I won’t get to find out if my theory is correct this time.” He pouted, clearly upset by this fact.

“Let’s finish up the episode and discuss our theories for it afterwards, okay?” Shizuo suggested, trying to make his boyfriend feel better. “How does that sound?”

Izaya perked up a little at this, nodding eagerly and looking at Shizuo’s phone, still perched up and rolling the film on the table before them. “Goodbye everybody!” He sang, waving to the camera with a grin. “We’ll see you with the next update in…probably two weeks.”

“We’re going to try updating every other Friday now because college is getting crazy.” Shizuo put in, nodding and giving the camera a peace sign. “Hope that’s alright.”

“We’ll see you next time on “Shichi’s Adventures in Russia”!” Izaya sang. “Episode Seventeen: The Bear’s Rage.”

“See you then!” Shizuo called, turning off his phone. “Alright. Now we can discuss fan theories.”

“Great! Settle down for about two hours, Shizu-chan. This is going to take a while.”

“…What have I gotten myself into?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep! Exactly what Izaya and Shizuo said is true. College is getting pretty crazy (mostly because I'm in a lot of writing classes...even though I'm not an English major or anything...) and I'm already writing about five essays a week. I write three essays a week for a Monday, Wednesday, Friday class and one essay a week for a different Tuesday, Thursday class. Then I write one more essay each week for a Tuesday class. Oddly enough, the other class I have left over is my English class, but we don't do weekly essays in that one. Just big, long project essays. So yeah! I write a lot. Plus, I'm working on editing for a few other things at the same time and it's getting crazy. Hard to find time for "Shichi's Adventures" between all of that. As it is, I'm finishing up this chapter and posting it before I head to class.
> 
> So yeah! That's the reason why I'll be updating every other Friday now. In return, I'll try and make the updates a little longer, like with this chapter. I hope you guys don't mind! Please don't be mad! ~\''( ≧Д≦)''/~
> 
> I'll see you in two Fridays! Bye! <3


	18. The Bear's Rage (Ярость медведя)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I'm glad that most of you are okay with the update schedule of every other week. It really took a lot of stress off my for getting the chapter out so thank you very much! I love you all! <3
> 
> Anyway, I have an announcement for this fic that will be sort of explained in the story and sort of repeated at the end, so I won't tell you right now. I'll just let you get into the story. I hope you enjoy this chapter! See you at the end! <3

“We have to do this as quickly as possible today, guys!” Izaya said hurriedly, looking around himself frantically as Shizuo rushed to bring out their dinner and lay it on the table in front of the couch. Except tonight it wasn’t just their dinner he was setting out. There were multiple other plates there as well, all of them filled to the brim with freshly prepared food ready to be devoured. There was a large pitcher of juice on the table next to an equally large pitcher of water and a single bottle of wine. 

In case you couldn’t tell by the set-up,” Izaya began to explain, waving his hand at everything behind him as Shizuo accidentally knocked over the wine bottle, cursing and muttering in anger. “We’re setting up for some guests that we have coming over for dinner tonight.”

“Both me and Izaya forgot they were supposed to come over until about an hour ago.” Shizuo grumbled, picking up the (thankfully still closed) wine bottle and checking it real quick before setting it back down and hurrying back into the kitchen.

“I blame my phone.” Izaya announced, nodding knowingly at the camera screen before him. “I set a notification on it for today so that it could remind me instead of myself and the notification never went off.”

“Quit blaming your stupid phone!” Shizuo yelled from the kitchen. “Just get the broadcast started before everyone shows up!”

“Okay, okay!” Izaya called back, pulling out his own phone and clearing his throat dramatically. “Welcome to this episode of “Shichi’s Adventures in Russia”! Today we have Episode Seventeen: The Bear’s Rage.”

He put his phone to his ear, hurrying over to the table and fixing up the last few details of the table as the phone rang. After a couple of seconds of this, Shichi picked up on the other end.

“Hi Dad!” Izaya chirped, twisting the wine bottle delicately to one side, placing it back where it needed to be. “Are you ready to continue your story? Yeah. Yeah, at some point you need to tell us what happened to Vorona. And _please_ finish up Kazimir and Vadim’s backstory eventually, too! For now, you can just tell us how your mission went!”

Here, Izaya paused, listening to the voice on the other end of the phone. “Well, it’s not my problem how you figure all that out. Just do it. So about your story…”

***

The packet Vadim had given Shichi was still cold, two days later. Shichi wasn’t sure how it was possible. Hell, he wasn’t even sure that Vadim was a human anymore. But that didn’t matter so much anymore. Shichi had already disposed of the packet itself, keeping the contents of the packet safely secure in a plastic bag that wouldn’t freeze his hand off every time he touched it. He let the packet simmer icily in the trash, trying his hardest not to look at it lying there. The last time he’d done that, he’d sworn he’d seen some ice forming around the impossibly cold packet.

And Shichi didn’t need supernatural signs and events interfering with his already stress-filled life. He had a ring of assholes to take down and some pretty serious vengeance to dish out.

The pin within Vadim’s packet was a strange silver-white one designed to look like a curling snake opening its mouth outwards with a hiss. Kazimir informed him that this was the insignia of the _Yкусзмей (Ukuszmey)_ branch of the Russian mafia. Known internationally as the Snakebiter branch. They did a lot of arms and drug dealing for the mafia, and it turned out that Drakon had been a bit of a thorn in their side for a while. His unwillingness to cooperate with them on multi-faceted drug deals or to join their branch, choosing instead to work as a freelancer with close ties to their rival branches, also wasn’t helping him get off their revenge list.

The number on the back belonged to their small group of “assassins” that were supposed to take care of all threats to the branch’s business. In reality (according to Kazimir at least), they weren’t actually assassins. They were just a group of people that hired freelance assassins and mercenaries like Vadim to do all of their work for them. It was more of a murder committee than an actual assassin group. Only eleven people made up that committee…and those were the eleven people Shichi was after.

He called the head of his mafia branch just to confirm it. Kazimir said it was always best to get their final approval on things like this that could end up starting full-on branch wars within the mafia.

Barely thirty seconds into explaining the situation, Shichi had been given approval. He’d been given approval to murder a group of fake murderers.

Shichi still wasn’t quite sure how he felt about the situation. He was about to take the lives of other human beings, after all. It wasn’t like (no matter how much he hated the universe) he was completely heartless and emotionless. He wasn’t unmoved by the idea of killing these men in cold blood. But…these men certainly hadn’t been emotionally moved by the idea of sending a professional assassin to murder a two-year-old girl. Best case scenario, Vorona was going to walk away with trauma for life. Worst case…she wasn’t going to walk anywhere ever again. Or speak. Or think. Or feel…or live.

Shichi was incredibly conflicted by what he was about to do. But in the end, he still found himself at the entrance to a small building that looked almost like a mini art-studio, connected by a single glass hallway to a much larger building with the snake insignia curled over its entrance. This was the headquarters of the Snakebiter Russian mafia branch. The little art-studio building was where their so-called assassins’ group was stationed.

Kazimir had vanished after telling Shichi everything he needed to know for the mission, leaving to do who-knew-what. He’d seemed a little off after seeing Vadim, and he’d taken to rubbing the arm with the metal implants every couple of minutes as well, so Shichi had decided it was best to just let him leave. He needed his time alone for now. Only Aleks, Valeriya, and Viktor had come with Shichi to the Snakebiter branch.

Shichi had told them to wait outside for the first fifteen minutes while he went in, just to give him some time to begin the mission on his own. He was supposed to be doing this single-handedly as it was. They were really only there for moral support. If, in those fifteen minutes, Shichi did not come out, then they were allowed to go in and see if something was up. 

But for those fifteen minutes, Shichi was on his own.

Shichi stared up at the door, thinking of Vadim’s words to him about the men he was going to face. They were a small group, but highly skilled. Highly skilled in what? Finding the hitmen with the best quality and customer satisfaction ratings? Searching for murder professionals on Angie’s List and Home Advisor? Sniffing out the sales that mercenaries put up – two kills for the price of one?

Shichi honestly didn’t know what kind of “skills” Vadim had been referring to, but he was going to keep his guard up regardless.

“Alright Shichi.” Shichi blew out a breath, closing his eyes as his fist raised to knock on the art studio door. “You can do this.”

A few sharp knocks rang out in the cold Russian air, the assassin-in-training taking a few steps back and waiting for a response.

The wind whistled around him, blowing an icy chill through his thick fur coat as he stood there, the metal pin safely attached to the inside of his coat. He heard some footsteps from the inside of the building, muttering voices and a particularly confused shout coming through the thin wooden door before him.

After a little while, the voices settled down. There was a pause in the air, as though they were waiting to see if he was going to knock again.

Highly skilled? Was Vadim messing with him?

Nevertheless, Shichi waited a few more seconds and then knocked again. He checked one more time to be sure the pin was under his coat, turning his attention on the door.

Three seconds later, it opened just a crack, and a black-haired man stuck his head out, peering at Shichi suspiciously.

His deep gray eyes raked Shichi’s form up and down, a bit of confusion filling his face at the strange boy standing before him.

“Can I…help you?” The man asked slowly, his Russian oddly accented despite his local appearance. He sounded like maybe he’d come from a Western country, like America. Weird.  
Shichi didn’t say anything in response to the question. He didn’t fully trust himself not to have an edge of disgust and fury to his voice that would give him away. Instead of speaking, he simply opened the coat he was wearing, letting the tiny streaks of sunlight shining through the clouds overhead catch the cold metal, reflecting it at the black-haired man.

The man reacted instantly, the bright assault on his eyes catching him off-guard as he covered his eyes with one hand, reeling back a little out of instinct. Shichi was very tempted for those few seconds of instinct to attack. The man was so vulnerable right now. He was reeling away, his eyes covered, unsuspecting of any treachery from the scrawny teenage boy in front of him. Egor had taught Shichi to look for weaknesses in his opponents and to pounce on them, and this man was one huge weak point to Shichi’s trained eyes right now. He was blinded, he was off-balance, he was unsuspecting, he was potentially unarmed, he was disoriented. He was a perfect victim.

But…Shichi couldn’t attack right now. It wasn’t the correct time. He needed to get inside the building first.

So Shichi waited for the few seconds it took the man to recover, letting the black-haired man squint and peer at whatever was shining light at him with a deep scowl.

He saw the metal pin on Shichi’s jacket and his eyes widened, the man pinching the pin briefly between his fingers and rubbing it a few times. Shichi felt his jaw clench at the man’s action, a little worried that Vadim’s everlasting cold would tip the guy off as to where he’d gotten the pin. As it was, the man’s fingers jerked sharply away from the pin after a few seconds, their tips already turning blue as he blew his hot breath over them and rubbed them together.

He looked into Shichi’s face next, as if trying to see if Shichi was lying, but Shichi kept his face stilled and blank, revealing none of his internal emotions. He only stared right back at the man, daring him to refuse him entry.

The man considered something for a few more seconds, and then nodded, stepping aside to let Shichi in. “Welcome.” He said simply, gesturing for Shichi to come inside. “Please come in.”

Shichi only gave the man a sharp nod, walking past him and into the art studio. As the black-haired man shut the door behind him, Shichi took a quiet, deep breath that he hoped the man couldn’t hear. The door was now shut. Shichi was in here alone. The fifteen minutes had begun.

Shichi looked around the building he’d just entered, noticing with a little surprise that it was really all just one room. There weren’t even any side doors that he could see leading off to offices or things like that. It was just one wooden room with a few chairs scattered around it, a heavy-looking computer sitting on a desk in the corner, and a large black file cabinet resting next to it. That was it.

There were men milling about as well, going about their business as though there was nothing unusual about a random teenage boy showing up to their base unannounced, all bearing the same pin that Shichi hid under his jacket.

Inside his head, Shichi counted all of the men before him, his heart racing in his chest.

One…two..three…four…

He spotted these men over by the computer, muttering about something on the screen and searching for something among the results that were popping up on it.

Five…six…seven…

This group was by the file cabinet, each of them pouring over a different packet of paperwork and mumbling to each other, placing specific files in certain spots and moving others into separate piles.

Eight...

This man was writing down everything the small file group was saying, scribbling it all furiously on his little clipboard and bobbing his head constantly to their conversation as though it was his favorite song. Or maybe he was just showing them that he was listening. Shichi didn’t know. All he knew was that the guy would randomly finish some notes and run them over to the computer guys, allowing them to put some of its information into the computer.

Nine…ten…

These two were sitting in chairs near the center of the room, smoking together and speaking in low voices, occasionally letting out a few chuckles here and there. So they were either the bosses of this joint or on break. It didn’t really matter but if they were allowed to relax while the others worked, then they might have some kind of power here that Shichi needed to be wary of.

Eleven.

That was the man who’d just let Shichi in and was standing right behind him now, watching him carefully to see what he was going to do.

Shichi closed his and took another deep breath, feeling the gazes of the Russian men begin to land on him as they all noticed him standing there, the man behind him explaining that he had a pin and that it was exceptionally cold, so he thought he might be the Ice Assassin’s apprentice or something.

The two men in the center started to huff at this theory, demanding to know who Shichi was and why he was here. They directed their questions right at Shichi, the other members milling about the one room completely silent as they watched him to see what he would do.

Shichi ignored the questions, just feeling his chest contract and expand as he breathed, getting ready for what he was about to do. Psyching himself up for the challenge he was presented with.

And asking himself one last time if he really wanted to do this. Was he really ready to take this final step? After today, if he went through with this mission, he would be a murderer. A taker of human lives. Was he truly going to cross that line of morality and…become a killer? Turn into an assassin for the Russian mafia? Where had his life taken him? Was he really willing to change who he was and become the worst kind of criminal imaginable on account of a little girl he’d met only a few months ago and a family he’d formed in that same short amount of time?

In the Japanese culture that Shichi had been raised in, there wasn’t a distinction between the lives of the earth. Human, animal, or insect, it didn’t matter. Each life was supposed to be treated equally. Killing a human was the same as killing a mosquito or a butterfly. It was a heinous murder, one that would get you sent instantly to one of the worst kinds of hell after death, and any murderer at all in Japan was looked upon with shock and shame.

Was he seriously going to do that to himself?

Well…he’d already squashed plenty of mosquitoes and spiders in his lifetime. He hadn’t really repented those murders much or prayed for their teeny-tiny souls after he threw their bodies in the trash can. He already knew he was going to hell.

At this point, it was just go big or go home.

Plus, whenever he thought of little Vorona lying on her hospital bed, sick and pasty pale and unmoving…he couldn’t help the fury that overcame him. He was so doing this. He had to do this. He was going to do this, whether it sent him to hell at the end of his life or not.

“Are you the division responsible for the hiring of the Ice Assassin?” Shichi asked aloud, opening his eyes and staring every man in the room down with a flat, icy-blue gaze. “Did you order the attack on Vorona Drakon?”

“How do you know about our operations, boy?” One of the men demanded, slipping a hand into his coat pocket and glaring at Shichi threateningly. Shichi had no doubt that he was fingering a gun inside that small coat, and no doubt one that packed a punch despite its diminutive size. “Who are you?”

“I don’t have to answer any of your questions.” Shichi responded, his adrenaline beginning to race in his blood as he slowly started to crouch down, shifting his body weight to the center of his body as he prepared himself for a fight. “You only have to answer mine. Yes or no?”

“We don’t have to answer a single inquiry from an entitled brat like yourself.” One of the other men scowled, glaring at Shichi like he was the sole reason he’d gotten stuck in this dead-end mafia job. “Why don’t you just run along home right now like a good boy and play in the street or something?”

“Oh, I will.” Shichi growled, his rage finally rising up and breaking the thin icy exterior of his eyes. “As soon as you tell me: yes or know.” 

The men all stared at him in confusion for a few seconds, none of them yet aware of what was going on.

“Yes. That was us.” One of them snapped. “Now how you do know about that and who are you?”

In that moment, Shichi exploded.

All of the rage, sorrow, regret, and hatred he’d felt boiling up over the past few days, all of the burning desires for revenge, all of the confusion about who he was and what he was doing with the mafia came to a head. It was the end of the line for him.

It was the moment that the cub became a bear.

“My name is Shichi Suzuki.” Shichi declared, his fingers slipping into his pockets and wrapping around the tiny pistols he kept there. “Among you, I’m known as _Mедведь (Medved'/Bear)_ of the _Снежная буря (Snezhnaya Burya/Ice Storm)_ branch. I’m here to kill you.”

Before any of them could even move, Shichi attacked.

He lunged to the side and slammed into the black-haired man standing beside him, knocking the stunned man onto the ground.

A gunshot rang out behind him as one of the center men, the one who’d been reaching into his coat earlier, fired at the space where Shichi had just been.

The bullet dug into the wood floors, sending wood chips flying everywhere and startling the men near the computer and the filing cabinet. Shichi didn’t stop though. After he knocked the man over, he grabbed him by the front of his shirt, hauling him up to his feet and spinning his body around so that he was blocking Shichi’s body. He grabbed the man’s arm and twisted it behind his back to hold him in place, facing the center men with a deadpan expression.

The black-haired man realized he was now a shield for Shichi and opened his mouth to say something, eyes wide with fear, but the panicked center man with the gun just fired in Shichi’s direction, not even noticing that Shichi wasn’t the first object in his line of fire anymore.

The bullets slammed into the black-haired man’s chest, the poor man coughing horribly, blood spewing out of his mouth as he doubled over. The center man’s eyes widened in shock, stepping back in horror as his colleague gargled blood.

Shichi swiftly held his gun over the black-haired man’s shoulder, using it as a support as he fired two returning bullets at the center man. One hit the man in his leg, causing him to topple over onto his friend beside him. The second sank right into his skull, killing him instantly.

The second center man cried out in pain as he slammed against the ground, a dead body that he didn’t yet realize was dead pinning him there. 

Shichi threw away the black-haired man’s body, firing a single bullet at it before running across the room to the file cabinet. The men by the cabinet were reaching for their own guns, panicking and trying to fire on the crazy teenager who’d snuck so easily into their operation.

Shichi grabbed the edge of the cabinet with one hand, shoving it over roughly at them and letting it fall with a crashing boom onto the floor. They leapt back to avoid it, shouting and distracted by the massive obstacle for a few seconds as it tried to crush them.

It took those few seconds for Shichi to kick the gun out of the closest man’s hand, firing two bullets of his own into that man’s chest and then sending one more bullet into the hand of another man who was beginning to raise his gun at Shichi. The first man fell to the ground, gasping for his last breaths, and the other dropped his gun in shock, grabbing at his bleeding hand with a cry of pain.

Shichi dropped to the ground as the other men he was near regained their senses and tried to fire at him, the bullets whizzing above his head as he snatched the fallen gun from the first man off the ground, disposing of his own now-empty revolver.

He fired at the men’s legs from the ground, forcing them to drop to their knees with one bullet in each of their kneecaps, and then lunged for the man who’d dropped his gun, smashing him over the head with the butt of the gun he was holding. The man fell, dazed and confused, to the ground next to his comrades. Shichi grabbed his gun and used it to fire one bullet into the skulls of each man lying on the ground beside him.

He looked up and spotted the four men from the computer all trying to run to the door (apparently unarmed). He shot two of them in the back of their heads as he ran after them, dropping them like flies, and then overtook the last two, hitting the ground and swinging his leg to knock them both off their feet.

They crashed to the ground with painful shouts, and Shichi pounced on their bodies, grabbing one’s head and snapped it harshly to the side with a snarl, then leaping over onto the other one seconds after and repeating the action.

Their limp heads dropped to the floor, life gone from their eyes, as Shichi back-flipped away from their bodies, turning around swiftly and firing one single bullet off into the air behind him where the second center man was just now standing up, getting ready to shoot Shichi in the back.

The bullet sank right in between the man’s eyes, the blue orbs in his face widening in shock as he froze, gun dropping from his fingers.

Shichi watched with expressionless eyes, an emotionless mask planted over his face, as the gun fell to the floor. It rang with a hollow sound on the ground, echoing throughout the vast room. 

The man dropped to his knees, staring up at Shichi with a confused, unbelieving expression. “H-How?” Was all he managed to croak out, eyes slowly losing their light, before he fell to the ground on his side, completely still and staring off into space.

The room fell silent as that one word rang out.

Shichi stood in place, his gun still in the air, shaking a bit in his hand.

He stared at the eleven dead bodies around him, all of which he’d killed himself. Eleven people. Eleven people dead at Shichi’s hands. Eleven people dead at the orders of Shichi’s boss.

Shichi had just become a murderer.

No…no, he hadn’t. Shichi had just become an assassin.

Shichi stood there a while longer, trying to comprehend that fact and let it sink into his brain, a numb shock taking hold of his body. From the time he’d entered the art studio, only seven minutes had passed. Seven minutes before Shichi slaughtered an entire group of a mafia branch.

He was still standing there eight minutes later when Valeriya, Viktor, and Aleks ran in to see if he was okay, having reached the fifteen minute mark. They found him standing in the midst of death, holding his gun out in that final position without moving.

They all understood what had happened. They’d all been there at some point or another. Now, it was Shichi’s turn.

They began finalizing everything around the area – Viktor looking for files to prove that they’d ordered the attack on Vorona, Valeriya checking each body to be sure it was dead, and Aleks calling their boss to inform him that Shichi had completed and exceeded the expectations of his mission – while Shichi kept standing there, thinking about what he’d done.

He still needed to bring back their heads for his boss. Technically, he wasn’t done yet. But the murder itself was complete. The transition was final. Shichi was a criminal.

He needed some time to process that.

“Valeriya.” Shichi said softly, the first words he’d spoken since they’d come in.

Every one of his friends looked up at him, all of their faces wary and concerned like they knew exactly how difficult this change must be for him, and exactly what kinds of thoughts must be running through his mind at the moment. The probably did. That comforted Shichi in this moment of numb shock more than almost anything else would have.  
“Yes?” Valeriya asked slowly, dropping the head of the last victim on the floor, having confirmed by pulse that they were all deceased.

“Can you…” Shichi took a deep breath, closing his eyes as his arm slowly lowered from the air, gun still shaking in his hand. This was a difficult thing to ask. He sucked in another deep breath, nodding his head slowly with the gun at his side, and he opened his eyes to look at Valeriya. “Can you…get their heads for me?” He asked softly. “I…I don’t think I can.”

Valeriya paused at this, her eyes filling with a little indecision. She looked as though she wasn’t sure if she wanted to make him do it on his own and tease him for being such a wimp, or if she should just be a supportive friend and colleague since this was his first kill.

Eventually, she nodded and pulled a large knife out of her coat. She’d been in charge of bringing the head-hacking tools to the mission, anyways. It made sense for her to do it.  
“Of course.” Valeriya said softly, her voice kinder and more gentle than Shichi had ever heard it before in his life.

Shichi nodded in thanks and turned away, unwilling to see just what would happen next.

Aleks took this as his cue to hang up the call with their boss, grabbing Shichi by the shoulders and speaking gently in his ear. He used a mixture of English and Russian, trying to comfort Shichi with the familiarity of both languages, and even attempting a few Japanese words here and there as he led Shichi out of the room. Viktor continued his search through the files, promising to take over if the boss called back wanting to know more.

As Shichi and Aleks walked away, Aleks carefully slid the gun out of Shichi’s hand, tucking it into his own coat, and speaking to Shichi all the while.

“You did well.” Shichi heard Aleks say through the haze of shock clouding his mind. “You did a horrible thing very well with great skill. And we’re here for you to help you get over the horror and focus on the skill. Do you hear me, Shichi?”

Shichi nodded numbly, feeling his body tremble slightly as they left the art studio and began walking through the cold, over to a car that was there to pick them up.

“Kazimir is in the car.” Aleks’s distant voice said next, his arms still wrapped around Shichi and leading him to the car. “He’s here for you, too. Everything will be alright, Shichi. Your family is going to help you. You’re one of us now. You’re an assassin.”

One of us now.

An assassin.

Shichi felt those words sink into him, along with the key word “family”, as the car door opened before him and Aleks helped him into the shotgun seat. He had a family now. And he could tell that. He could feel it in the comfort and support Aleks had offered him on this whole walk back. He could sense it in the practical logic Viktor displayed when he took over the technical side so Shichi didn’t have to. He could hear it in the softness of Valeriya’s voice as she hacked off those men’s heads for the sake of his sanity. And he could see it in Kazimir’s eyes as the kind man looked at him with empathy, pride, and a tad bit of regret, wrapping one incredibly warm arm around him and pulling him into an even warmer hug.

He was home. He belonged in the ice-cold depths of Russia, wrapped in the warmth of death. He had been hibernating all his life, keeping away from his true purpose, and now he was waking up to the bright sun.

He was a bear. His rage and revenge were complete. Now it was time to begin his life.

***

“How can such a violent and gory scene…end so sweetly at the end?” Izaya wondered aloud, the phone resting by his ear as Shichi sighed on the other end.

_“I don’t know. Maybe because I’m telling the story and it’s a fond memory of mine?”_ The ex-assassin wondered aloud. _“I don’t think about the psychology of my past, alright? I’m just telling it like it is. And anyways…that’s the story of my first murder. That was the big saga of how I became an assassin. Are you satisfied now? Will you stop all these Friday calls?”_

“Of course not!” Izaya shrieked, jumping to his feet in horror. “I mean that would be an amazing stopping point for this whole series to end but there are still some questions that are left unanswered! Like how you got Fluffles, for example! Or exactly what happened to Vorona! Or what happened with Kazichi and what happened between Kazimir and Vadim! Not to mention the story of you discovering the truth about your parents! We still need to know these things, Shichi. You can’t end it here!”

Shichi muttered in angry Russian on the other side of the phone, the sound of someone scrubbing their face in exasperation being clearly heard. _“Oh my god. Fine. Fine! I’ll start answering all those random questions of yours in the next calls. But no more big story questions that lead into call after call! Just one call questions, got it?”_

“Fine.” Izaya huffed, crossing his arms with a pout. “At least that means there won’t be any cliffhangers now.”

_“Exactly. Think of them more like a series of one-shots. Okay?”_

“…Fine.”

_“Thank you. Now, I’m gonna go. You start thinking about whichever question you want to ask me for the next call. ONLY. ONE. Right. Goodbye, son. Love you.”_

“Bye Dad. Love you, too.” Izaya sighed, hanging up the phone and tossing it to the side.

There was silence for a bit, Shizuo and Izaya just sitting on the couch with the food spread over the table before them, waiting for their guests to arrive.

“I think…that ended well.” Shizuo commented aloud, nodding in approval as he recalled Shichi’s last words. “It was a nice, moving scene. Despite all the murder and crime.”

“Yeah.” Izaya sighed, stretching his arms above his head and thinking carefully. “We gotta decide what question we’re asking next time, though. Since he’s only going to do one-shots now instead of long, complicated stories.”

“I think we should ask about Vorona.” Shizuo declared, looking over at his boyfriend. “We _still_ don’t know if she lived or not.”

“Yeah, but we also don’t know what the heck is up with Kazimir’s arm and with his story with Vadim.” Izaya pointed out, frowning. “I want to know those things pretty badly.”

“We can hear about those later!” Shizuo protested. “Vorona’s life is more important than some sob story!”

“What? They’re equally important!” Izaya argued, gritting his teeth and glaring fiercely at the blonde. “And the one about Kazimir and Vadim needs to be heard first!”

“Does not!” Shizuo yelled.

“Does too!” Izaya yelled back.

“You know what, let’s let someone else decide.” Shizuo snapped, glaring at the camera. “Why don’t _you_ guys pick whatever thing you want Shichi to tell us next time. Since clearly, if we decide, we’ll just split our relationship in two.”

“Good idea.” Izaya huffed, looking over at the camera. “You guys pick what you want to hear about. The pressure is off us that way.”

“If not…we can flip a coin.” Shizuo sighed, just as a knock sounded on the door.

“They’re here!” Izaya announced, jumping to his feet and running for the door. “Shizu-chan, end the broadcast!”

“Got it.” Shizuo yelped, looking at his camera hurriedly. “Alright, so that was it for this episode of “Shichi’s Adventures in Russia”! We hoped you liked it. Tune in next time for…well, for whatever episode comes next. You guys are deciding after all. Tune in to see what the results are!”

“Bye!” Izaya yelled from the other room as he opened the door.

“Bye.” Shizuo agreed, shutting off his camera. He just managed to tuck his phone back into his pocket, grabbing Izaya’s off the couch and confiscating that too as the guests started to file in for dinner.

Just in time. It looked like the secret of Shichi’s web comic would remain a secret for a little while longer.

Before Shichi found out about it and came to kill them, of course. But for now, they were all good. The bear was still hibernating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So as you might have guessed from Izaya and Shizuo's conversation, now that Shichi's general entrance into Russia and the mafia has gotten out of the way, we are moving more into a one-shot phase of the story! The next chapters are all going to be sort of stand-alone while I answer all the questions I've gotten in the past about Shichi's...well, about Shichi's past. XD
> 
> Once we get through all of those questions, then I'll probably do a little conclusion and wrap this story up. We're nearing the end guys! I hope you've enjoyed this fic so far. Please comment any questions you want answered about Shichi and his past down below, or vote on whether you want Izaya or Shizuo's question answered if you want to hear one of those, and I'll begin the next chapter soon. Make sure you ask whatever you want to know because the chapters will only be about whatever gets asked! I won't have any extra tidbits along the way!
> 
> Thanks so much for sticking with me all this time. I'll see you guys with the next chapter! <3


	19. Witch Doctor (Знахарь)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I hope you’re all excited for the start of the one-shots! Remember to ask any questions if you have them because I’m just going to answer whatever I’ve already been asked and then probably wrap this thing up. Thank you guys for sticking with me through this crazy thing for so long, haha. We’re finally hitting the home stretch!
> 
> I’ll see you at the end of the chapter! <3

“Welcome back to “Shichi’s Adventures in Russia”!” Izaya called, plopping down on the couch with a grin. “Today, we are finally beginning the one-shot segments. We’ll start to answer each of your questions and work through every aspect of Shichi’s life that we can!”

“Make sure you ask your questions now.” Shizuo added in, poking his head into the camera frame as he adjusted his phone’s precarious position on the shelf across from them. “Because once we get through them all, this show will probably end.”

“Why do you have to be such a downer sometimes?” Izaya muttered aloud, rolling his eyes at his boyfriend’s drama. “Why can’t you just let them be fools and have some happiness?”

“I’m just telling the truth.” Shizuo shrugged unrepentantly, backing away from the camera now that it was positioned correctly and sitting down next to Izaya. “And Erika’s starting to get some funny cramps in her hand from drawing this all the time. She might injure herself soon if she keeps this up for too long.”

“Meh. A minor detail!” Izaya scoffed, waving his hand in the air flippantly. “Now, let’s get to the business at hand.”

Shizuo nodded in agreement, finally shooting his own grin at the camera. “So we have the results in for our little one-shot contest…” He said slowly, shooting Izaya a look out of the corner of his eye. “And guess whose suggestion won?”

“You don’t have to rub it in!” Izaya snapped, punching Shizuo in the arm with a glare. “I get it! For some reason, the general populace cares more about finding out what happened to Vorona than what happened in Kazimir and Vadim’s past. You won, I lost! Big deal!”

“It _is_ a big deal, actually.” Shizuo said, still grinning widely despite the punch it had earned him. “I’m finally going to get what I want for once.”

“Whatever.” Izaya growled, standing up and pulling out his phone with an evil glare. “Let’s just get this over with so we can move on to more important things.”

Shizuo didn’t get a chance to respond before Izaya was speed-dialing Shichi’s number, putting the phone to his ear, and resuming their usual Friday activity.

“Hey Dad. Yeah, we decided on our one-shot question for you…No, it wasn’t my idea. Shut up!” Izaya scowled as Shizuo snickered in the background, giving his blonde boyfriend a rather rude gesture before returning to the phone call at hand.

“Just tell me what happened to Vorona after all that stuff with Vadim and the Snakebiter branch went down…”

***

Shichi had always hated hospitals. He hated the weird smell of sterility that they always had, and the bright lights that hurt his eyes that glowed overhead. He hated the stuck-up nurses and doctors who paraded around in their scrubs and coats. He especially hated the stench of death and sickness you found if you wandered just a little too far in the wrong direction after your parents left you alone in the waiting room by yourself. He hated looking into the eyes of sobbing people by the back rooms that they never let other people see, and hated the practiced sympathy and measured tones doctors spoke in as they broke difficult news to those sobbing people who already knew what the rehearsed script meant.

And Russian hospitals were even worse than the ones Shichi had gotten used to in Japan. They were smaller. Colder. Dimmer. The staff were more blunt. Harsher. Unsympathetic. The facilities were terrible. Bare minimum. Barely livable sometimes. They seemed more like wards of death than places that you brought someone to try and help them live.

Everywhere you went, there was a stench of death and sickness, no matter how many doors were between you and those hidden back rooms of sorrow.

Shichi knew why.

It was because the Russians didn’t bother hiding the problems that they knew they couldn’t solve. They put everything out in the open for anyone to see. They let suffering shine out in public, free for anyone to see, understand, and silently mourn. They didn’t hide the truth like the Japanese did so often. Even if they didn’t have the technology that the Japanese did in order to help their sick, they were at least far more honest than Shichi’s people would ever be.

They were cold, cruel, bitter, and honest. A perfect description of the kind of person Shichi was now after a few mere months in this icy country.

But no matter how cold, cruel, or bitter Shichi became, no matter how many missions the heads of the Ice Storm branch started sending him on now that he was a fully-fledged assassin, there was one place that Shichi always came back to at the end of his day before he headed home to the compound.

A Russian hospital near the center of the city.

A hospital he hated more than almost any other in the world. He hated it, no matter how honest it was or how much like him it was, for the simple reason that one of its patients was someone he wished he could take as far away from the stench of death as possible, as soon as possible. But he couldn’t. Because she never opened her eyes. She stayed asleep, laying on a tiny white bed under tiny white sheets, her pale violet eyes closed off to the world, and her breathing faint. Only a few people ever visited her regularly.

A tall black man showed up about once a week with a different kind of sweet she’d liked to eat.

A smaller white man sometimes came with him, frowning and muttering proverbs in Russian.

A scary-looking businessman carrying odd briefcases of weapons with him between jobs came whenever he got a spare moment, crying over her bedside.

A massive Russian man with a lynx tattoo visited every three days, sometimes taking a thinner but no less intimidating man with him whenever he could get the man to leave his compound.

And the final visitor was a young teenage boy with the tattoo of a bear crawling up his chest, a look that had seen far too much for someone his age infecting his icy blue eyes, who stayed for hours at the end of the day before he went home, just holding the little girl’s hand and talking to her.

Shichi visited Vorona every single day.

He would go into her hospital room, and sit down on the little gray chair by her bed. He’d hold her tiny, cold hand and speak to her in a mixture of Russian and English, just like he used to when they had conversations before.

He’d tell her about his day and about the funny things that Viktor had said to him (as well as what he was guessing those things meant). He’d tell her how he was getting along with Valeriya these days, sometimes ranting about how awful she was and sometimes conceding that she wasn’t all that bad. He’d laugh and recount whatever weird stunt Aleks had tried to pull during training, usually ending in Egor finding him in some strange bodily position and sighing like he questioned all his life choices. He confided to her about how he was starting to recognize his feelings towards Kazimir as something a little bit… _more_ than he’d originally taken them for. And he told her about all the nightmares he still had about his very first mission where he’d murdered eleven men, just for her.

He confessed that he still wasn’t sure how he felt about it sometimes, but that he knew he’d done the right thing.

And at the end of all their conversations, Shichi would have a small cry by her bedside, usually trying to grin as tears slipped down his cheeks just in case she woke up and saw him. He would grin and smile and act strong, trying to laugh away his pain at seeing her there even as the tears flowed down his face, unstoppable forces of sorrow that they were.  
Once the tears stopped, he waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And…waited.

And when nothing happened, he would kiss Vorona’s little, pale forehead and leave the hated hospital. He’d return again the next day, and the process would repeat.

Shichi lost track of the number of weeks that passed as he did this.

He felt that each time he came, it got a little harder to see her lying there. A little harder to pretend that it didn’t affect him at all. And a little harder to believe that one day she would wake up and smile and laugh at all his jokes like she’d used to before.

In fact, he almost felt like a fool for how often he went in there, hoping to see her sitting up in bed and smiling at him again.

But he kept going anyways. There was nothing else he could do, after all.

Killing was his only specialty at the moment, and killing wouldn’t bring the dead back to life. It only created more death for people to mourn.

Shichi was returning to the hospital yet again today after another death assignment, already thinking of what stories he was going to tell to Vorona’s unhearing ears when he saw the man in the lobby.

He knew right away that the man wasn’t Russian. He stood differently than the people behind him in the line, a little straighter, a little lighter on his feet, his movements seeming almost joyful. His hair was a mousy brown color, and it fanned out around his head in strange spikes that looked more like a messy bed-head than any kind of threatening or punkish hairstyle kids like Shichi were trying these days. He bounced happily on his heels as he spoke with some nurse at the counter, trying to figure out where something was as she looked him up and down, clearly trying to figure out if he was sane.

Shichi didn’t blame her. The guy was wearing a weird white lab coat which, while not entirely out of place in a hospital, was kinda odd because it seemed like it was more for a scientist than a doctor. There also seemed to be some kind of weird bulge in his pocket that looked like a…gas mask?

Shichi stared at the man’s back for a while, trying to figure out if he should just ignore him and go to Vorona like usual, or stick around and see if this psycho had something planned.

If it was something like gas bombing the whole hospital, then Shichi wanted to be around to shoot this guy’s brains out before the cops could. Anyone who put Vorona in even more danger was going right at the top of Shichi’s hit list, permission from the heads or not.

Mind made up, Shichi changed his course from his usual route to Vorona’s room and stood in line a few places behind the lab coat lunatic, watching him carefully. Everyone else in the hospital was watching him too, so it didn’t even look suspicious.

What a weirdly obvious way to plan a hospital attack.

Shichi frowned and glanced around the hospital quickly, just trying to make sure there weren’t any other suspicious figures lurking around that Lab Coat might be working with. It would make sense for him to just be causing a scene while other people slipped around and did the dirty work. In fact, that scenario would help explain how weird the guy looked, how loud he was being, and the gas mask in his pocket all at the same time. He was causing a distraction until his partners gassed the place, then he’d put on his mask and leave.  
But all Shichi saw in the lobby were the hospital regulars that were always here around this time. A few families checking in on chronic patients, some doctors and nurses whose faces he knew too well, and then a few normal Russians checking in for one reason or another.

Lab Coat was the only suspicious person here.

Shichi frowned and looked back at Lab Coat, this time straining his ears a bit to listen to the loud non-Russian man, wondering if maybe his conversation would give away what he was trying to do.

“…and so I need to know where my patient is!” The man was explaining cheerfully, bouncing on his heels in excitement as his gas mask clunked around in his pocket. “I was called from overseas for this! It’s really exciting!”

“Clearly.” Shichi muttered under his breath, eying how happily the guy was bouncing around in disbelief. Seriously. This guy had to be in his twenties, at least a few years older than Shichi. Probably not quite hitting the thirty-year-landmark but still, definitely not a teenager anymore. Why was he acting like a child?

Shichi waited for the nurse to respond to him, and was a little surprised when she didn’t. The blonde lady just stared at the man in confusion like she didn’t know what he was saying, and looked him up and down again.

“Where’s my patient?” The man repeated cheerfully. “I was told she’d be here! Little tot? Maybe two years old? I got a picture here if it makes things easier! Wanna see it?”

That would probably be a good idea, but again, the nurse said nothing. She only stared at him some more.

“I need someone to get rid of this guy.” She said aloud, looking around as if trying to spot a security guard. “I’ve got no idea what’s going on.”

Shichi raised an eyebrow in confusion. What? He was just looking for his patient. Even Shichi understood that, despite how weirdly excited the man was to see a little girl dying in a Russian hospital. Why wasn’t the nurse even looking at the picture?

And why wasn’t the man responding to her comment about getting rid of him?

“What are you doing?” The man asked in surprise, peering curiously at the nurse as she bent below the desk to search for the emergency call button. “Are you pulling up her file? Do you know who I’m talking about?”

“Maybe I’ll just call the secret police and have them off him.” The woman sighed, completely ignoring the man as she apparently gave up on finding the button and just stood up to glare at him. “He’d never even know they were coming.”

“I have no clue what you’re saying!” The man laughed brightly, grinning widely at the woman plotting his death. “But can you please help me find my patient?”

Alright, Shichi had no clue what sort of miscommunication was going on here, especially since he understood both of them perfectly fine, but he had no desire for anyone to be calling the secret police here. They didn’t exactly get along with assassins and mafia members like Shichi…which was funny because they all basically did the same things. Looting, murder, drug dealing, offing people in the middle of the night, and so on.

The only difference was that it was legal for the police.

Well, legal or not, Shichi wasn’t about to let that nurse call some of those policemen nutcases over here just because of a miscommunication error. He’d just have to fix this himself.

Shichi quickly stepped out of line, marching right up to the counter as the nurse reached out to grab the telephone on her desk, snapping a finger to get her attention.  
She looked up, recognizing him instantly from all his previous visits. “Shichi.” She said in surprise, her arm lowered from its position hovering over the phone. “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be with Vorona?”

“I’m just clearing this up first before I head over to her.” Shichi explained, waving a hand at Lab Coat beside him. “This man is just looking for one of his patients. He said he was sent from overseas to take care of her.”

“Ooh! A translator! I really do like how the mafia does things around here!” Lab Coat said gleefully, looking at Shichi in delight. “At least…I think he’s translating for me?”

“I’m not translating anything.” Shichi said in annoyance, glaring at the man beside him. From up close, he could see the man’s sparkling brown eyes, hidden behind rather dorky glasses that just screamed “nerd”. He had a bright grin and a young, innocent face that made him look like he hadn’t seen enough of the world yet. But…there was still a certain hint in those brown eyes that told Shichi this man had already seen his fair share of the world.

Maybe even more than what Shichi had seen.

“Not translating?” The man repeated, looking between Shichi and the nurse incredulously. “Well…I’m pretty sure that’s what you’re doing if you’re telling her what I’m trying to do.”  
“She should be able to understand you just fine!” Shichi growled, still massively confused as to what was going on here. “It’s not like you speak like an idiot, or something.”

He turned back to the nurse before Lab Coat could annoy him further. “He’s looking for a two-year-old girl.” Shichi announced. “He says he’s got a picture too, if that helps.”

The nurse thought about it for a moment and then her eyes lit up in understanding. “Doctor Kishitani!” She cried, clapping her hands in the air. “Shingen Kishitani! Right! The Eastern doctor Drakon brought over to look at Vorona! Oh, I completely forgot.”

She bent down beneath her counter again, this time grabbing a medical file and placing it on the counter in front of her. Shichi could clearly see the name “Vorona” spelled out on top of it.

“It’s such a good thing you were here, Shichi.” The nurse continued despite Shichi’s current existential crisis about what kind of freakish coincidence was going on right now, thrusting the file into his hands. “I completely forgot that you came from Japan. But you can speak to him and lead him to Vorona. Thank you!”

Shichi opened his mouth to voice his confusion, but the nurse waved both him and Lab Coat aside, gesturing for the next person to come up to the counter.

Shichi was left standing, dumbstruck, as his brain tried to catch up to what had just happened.

Lab Coat peered at him curiously as he did so, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “So…” He said slowly, brown eyes glittering. “You’re a dual citizen?”

“Huh?” Shichi blinked, looking over at Lab Coat in shock. “What did you call me?”

“A dual citizen.” Lab Coat repeated with a grin. “Native to two countries? You’re Russian and Japanese, right? The nurse was calling you Shichi.” He chuckled at this, apparently finding the name amusing. “Is it like the number seven or something else?”

“The number.” Shichi responded absently, still trying to comprehend his situation. “My adoptive parents named us all according to the number we came in. I was seventh.”

“Original.” Lab Coat remarked, looking around the hospital with a grin. “Now then, _Shichi-ban_! Lead me to Vorona! I assume that’s what the nurse told you to do, after all.”

“Just call me Shichi.” Shichi snapped, glaring at the man in annoyance. “Not _Shichi-ban(Number Seven)_. It’s just Shichi on its…own…”

And then things finally clicked with him. The only sort of person who would be able to recognize his name as a number and then turn it into a joke by adding _ban_ , the Japanese counter for numbers, would be…someone who spoke Japanese.

Lab Coat was Japanese. He’d been speaking Japanese. Shichi had heard him and his mind instantly clicked back to his old home language. The nurse hadn’t understood because she only spoke Russian, but Shichi understood both. He’d been switching between the languages without even noticing.

Wow.

Shichi took unobservant idiot to a whole new level.

“I hate my life.” Shichi muttered, refusing to look at Lab Coat as he spun on his heel and started marching over to Vorona’s room. “Follow me, Lab Coat. Vorona is this way. And you better heal her or I won’t be showing you the way out. I’ll be taking you out instead.”

“Scary.” The man chirped, happily skipping after Shichi without a care in the world. “But my six-year-old back home in Japan has made scarier threats before. His name is Shinra. Got himself a lovely little fascination with my medical practice. Isn’t that wonderful? Although, I do hope he doesn’t follow in my footsteps and become an illegal underground doctor.”

“I hope he doesn’t follow in your footsteps of never shutting up.” Shichi muttered, opening the familiar door at the end of the hallway. “She’s in here.”

Lab Coat or Shingen or whatever his name was poked his head into the tiny room, humming a little bit at what he saw, eyes locking on the pale little girl on the bed before him.

“I see.” He chirped, skipping inside and heading right over to Vorona’s bedside. “Well then, let’s just get started, shall we?”

Shichi closed the door behind him, watching the crazy doctor curiously despite himself. “What are you planning to do?” He asked as the man rummaged around in the bag of medical supplies that Shichi hadn’t seen him carrying until now.

“My name is Kishitani Shingen, twenty-six-year-old underground doctor for the yakuza and various other clients!” The doctor answered cheerfully, not actually answering Shichi’s question as he pulled out a medical knife and a strange tube along with some other devices that Shichi didn’t even know how to describe. “And I’m planning to do what I always do.”

He looked up at Shichi with a grin, those brown eyes that seemed so immature yet so terrifyingly experienced sparkling brightly. “I’m going to fix my patient.”

The next few minutes were a blur to Shichi.

All he saw were Shingen’s hands moving over Vorona’s body, attaching various medical apparatuses to it in various places, removing them from others and replacing them, something switching things around, other times getting completely new devices out to check for some other random medical nuance that Shichi didn’t understand. 

The doctor pulled out vials and liquids and bags and mixed things and made things on the spot like some crazy alchemist, carefully measuring each thing out before combining them. He utilized an IV drip at some point, although Shichi had honestly no clue what he was pumping into Vorona’s body when he did. He poked, prodded, examined, hummed at, sang to, danced around, and examined Vorona again so many times that Shichi started to get a headache just watching him work.

After what seemed like hours of nonstop medical craziness, the doctor finally began to pull everything off Vorona, placing it all back in his bag with little humming sounds. He put the IV drip away. He folded up his tools that needed folding. He hid the liquids and vials and bags once more.

He only brought out one small vial of liquid that he hadn’t used yet and uncapped it, revealing a weird second cap with holes in the top. He waved this under Vorona’s nose a few times and then put that away as well, simply watching the young girl with a cheerful smile on his face.

And Shichi watched Vorona too, his heart pounding in his chest, waiting to see if the doctor’s tricks had worked.

After several short eternities (Shichi felt like he had a lot of those in his life), her fingers twitched.

Shichi instantly shot away from his spot by the wall and shoved past Shingen, sending the man crashing to the floor as he took his place by the bedside, grabbing Vorona’s hand and squeezing it tightly.

“Vorona.” He croaked, placing his other hand on the side of her face and staring at her closed eyelids imploringly. “Vorona? Vorona, can you hear me?”

His voice sounded desperate, he knew that. Maybe that was why Shingen didn’t complain when he had to pick himself off the floor, dusting off his white pants and gathering his bag quietly in the background. Shichi wasn’t even sure if he would’ve heard the complaints anyway. He was far too focused on those pale, closed eyelids, body trembling with fear as he waited to see if they would open.

“Vorona.” He whispered when nothing happened, head slowly lowering towards hers. “Come on, darling. You’ve got to wake up for me.”

Vorona kept laying still, unmoving, her fingers as cold as death and her face paler than her hospital sheets.

She did not move.

“Wake up.” Shichi pleaded again, his voice choking as his forehead pressed against hers, tears beginning to blur his vision. “Come on. Stupid Shingen worked so hard on this for you. You’ve got to wake up, now. Please.”

Shingen watched from the doorway, not saying a word, as Shichi’s tears began to fall onto Vorona’s unmoving face.

“Vorona.” He sobbed aloud, squeezing her hand tightly with one hand and cupping her face just as tightly with the other. “Vorona…”

Silence fell over the room as nothing happened at all, despite Shichi’s pleas. The treatment hadn’t worked. And Shichi was pretty sure that if Drakon had finally resorted to calling in someone from overseas, then this was the final line. It was all over. Vorona wasn’t waking up. They were going to pull her from life support.

Vorona was dead.

Shichi cried onto her little body, shaking as he held onto her, wishing that he could’ve done something.

Removed the poison sooner. Pushed for a professional doctor to be brought over. Traded his life for hers. Anything! But now…there was nothing.

“I’m sorry.” Shingen said softly, his words barely registering in Shichi’s mind as he left the room. “I did all that I could.”

And that was it. There was the final, rehearsed script that Shichi knew so well. The one that everyone knew so well. The one that sealed the deal.

The scent of the room became just like the rest of the hospital – one of sickness and death – as the reality Shichi had been running from finally sunk in. Vorona remained unmoving beneath him, and she would never move again. Her cold permeated Shichi’s body in a way Vadim’s never could, and Shichi didn’t even try to fight it off.

All he could do was cry, alone in the room with Vorona’s soon-to-be-dead body, wishing that the shallow breaths she was taking weren't about to be erased from existence. Wishing that her corpse wouldn't soon be rolled into a tiny casket that Shichi would end up burying. Wishing he'd either never come to Russia and met this little girl, or that he could rip out his own heart to stop it from aching so painfully inside him. 

Wishing that things had turned out differently.

***

At least that was one way it could’ve gone. Good thing it actually happened like this.

Shingen watched from the doorway, not saying a word, as Shichi’s tears began to fall onto Vorona’s unmoving face.

“Vorona.” He sobbed aloud, squeezing her hand tightly with one hand and cupping her face just as tightly with the other. “Vorona…”

After a few seconds, he felt the little fingers twitch under his hand again.

“Shi…Shi…chi…” A soft, tiny voice whispered, barely audible in his disbelieving ears. But to Shichi, his whole world was suddenly revolving around those few syllables that had just been uttered.

“Vorona?” Shichi asked suddenly, pulling his face back and rapidly blinking away tears, looking down in astonishment as below him, the violet eyes slowly opened. 

Vorona looked up into Shichi’s teary gaze, her violent orbs uncomprehending of what was going on, and then she smiled. She smiled, just like she used to.

“Shi…chi…” She said weakly again, her fingers twitching in his tight grasp. “…Hi.”

Shichi almost felt like he could cry again from pure happiness as he heard that. “Hi.” He laughed back, tears rolling down his cheeks again as he bent down to hug the little girl, brought back to life. “Hi, Vorona. Welcome back.”

Vorona’s weak arms wrapped around Shichi, hugging him back as best as she could in the condition she was in, and that was the best feeling in the entire world.

Shingen smiled at the two from his place by the door. Seeing them like that, their arms around each other like loving siblings, despite the way neither of them could be related…it really made him rethink the value and terms of family. Family wasn’t bordered by anything. There were no boundaries that made one group a family and another not. There was just this. This undying love and support that made true families.

He was glad to have saved this one.

“I’m going to go tell the nurses and doctors what happened. Or try to, anyways.” He called as he left the room, a smile still on his face. “I’ll see you later, _Shichi-ban_.”

Shichi didn’t even respond to the joke this time, Shingen slipping out the door as he held onto Vorona and Vorona held onto him, both of them sobbing onto each other.

They stayed like that for hours, even after Drakon himself came rushing in to be sure the rumors were true and joined their little hug, all three of them crying and hugging with joy and relief and disbelief at the miracle that was Vorona’s life.

That moment became one of the happiest moments of Shichi’s entire life.

That moment became the one where he decided that while he still hated hospitals, doctors – even crazy ones with lab coats and gas masks – weren’t so bad after all.

***

“You sick bastard!” Izaya yelled into the phone, rubbing at his red eyes frantically to stop the tears flowing from them as he glared at the phone. “I believed you, damn it! I thought that she had actually died!”

“That was a jackass move, Shichi!” Shizuo scowled, grabbing the phone himself and yelling his own piece into it. “Never do that again! You hear me? Or I’m coming down there and ripping your head off!”

_“Okay, okay, okay, calm down!”_ Shichi said hurriedly on the other end, still clearly trying not to laugh as he listened to them rant. _“It was just a little prank, okay? Vorona was fine. She’s still fine, actually. Grew up to be a great assassin in her own right, or so I hear. I think she actually started working with Semyon and Egor a while back, too. Got herself a partner named Sloan.”_

“I don’t care about any of that!” Izaya yelled, snatching up the phone and practically screaming into it. “I care that you ripped my heart own and did an Irish tap-dance on it before reviving it with fucking witch doctor magic, you jerk!”

_“Oh, you’re cussing. That’s pretty bad.”_ Shichi said nervously, the reality of his situation finally hitting him. _“Look, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, alright? I won’t do it again. I swear.”_

“You better not!” Izaya yelled.

“Or we’re coming for your soul!” Shizuo roared.

“And the cat!” Izaya added, one final threat to tip the scale as he glared at the phone.

_“Don’t take my cat!”_ Shichi cried on the other end. _“Fluffles and I have been together for years!”_

“You won’t be together anymore if you pull this shit again.” Shizuo snarled. “Get the picture, Bear?”

_“I get it! I get it! No more pranks. Geez.”_

“Good.” Izaya huffed, nodding in satisfaction. “Good night, my father.”

_“Goodnight, ‘Zaya.”_

Izaya hung up, flinging the phone down with an exhausted sigh as he leaned over on Shizuo, still trying to get over the cruel trick from earlier.

“That was such a dick move.” Shizuo said aloud, shaking his head at the still-too-fresh image in his mind of a dead child and a sobbing teenager.

“I know.” Izaya muttered, picturing the same thing. “We need to play a movie to take our minds off it. Something that’s exactly the opposite of dead children.”

“How about _Peter Pan_?” Shizuo suggested. “That’s about a kid that never grows old.”

“Perfect. We’ll marathon ever _Peter Pan_ movie ever created.” Izaya declared, running over to the TV to hook up his laptop and get started on this new mission.

It would take them a while to get through nine different movie adaptations (two of them unauthorized movies made for old Soviet and Australian television) and seven spin-off franchise movies centered around Tinker Bell (that Shizuo became weirdly infatuated with), but in the end, it was worth it.

They were still going to kill Shichi later, of course, but it was worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> …Yeah…I had a long moral debate about whether or not I should do that split ending thing at the end. Was it too much? Should I just go with what really happened? Then I thought, “What would Shichi do?” and realized I had my answer right there. XD
> 
> Sorry about that! I wonder if I actually got any of you for a moment there or if you all knew my plan all along. Haha, I hope it worked on at least a few of you!
> 
> Anyways, I’ve got a big critical paper and a research project to write so I’m just gonna go and do that now before I spend any more of my time avoiding them. XD I hope you guys liked the chapter! Remember to pick any subjects you want me to talk about before the series ends!
> 
> Oh, and in case you're also a reader of "Carmine Coffee", that fic should be updated either tomorrow or the day after. I promise I'll get it in before October ends!
> 
> I think that’s all I had to say. I’ll see you with the next chapter! Bye! <3


	20. The End of His Story (Конец его истории)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Guess what?
> 
> ...I almost forgot I had to post a chapter today. I checked my calendar last night and realized that and freaked out! I've been writing and finishing the chapter for the last few hours. XD Also, I don't have much time before I need to leave for class, so I'm going to try and post this as soon as possible!
> 
> But a warning for you in advance: this chapter isn't like the other ones. This one is far more sad. If you don't want to hear something sad and depressing right now, come back and read this later. If you're okay with diving into it, or if you just don't get saddened by anything, then go right ahead! Hope you like the chapter!
> 
> I'll see you next time, guys! <3
> 
> Please don't hate me for doing this.

This episode will be a little different from the others.

You won’t see your narrators here. You won’t get a little phone call from a surly math teacher trying to avoid the murderous rants of his son. You won’t see cute fluffy couples in love as they co-host a manga written by a crazy fujoshi next door. And you certainly won’t walk away from this with a smile on your face or warm fuzzy feelings in your heart as a result of the lovable antics of said fluffy couples. 

Why is this, you might ask yourself. The answer is simple.

This is not a happy story. This is not a Shichi story. This is a story that comes from a time before Shichi came to Russia. Before Izaya and Shizuo fell in love, or were even born. This is a story that needs to be told as it happened, with nothing else before or after it.

This is a story that will explain some things to you that you might have been wondering about two Russian men with a history no one speaks of. It’s a love story. It’s a betrayal story. It’s a fighting story. It’s a slow story. It’s a true story. A true story about a lie.

This is the story of the boy with the metal arm and the monster who gave it to him.

***

Vadim was five years old the first time he realized he was different.

It was the first time he’d left his room without the gloves his mother had always insisted he wear, even inside their tiny house. Even though Vadim insisted right back that he didn’t get cold, that he never got cold, no matter how harsh the Russian winters blew against their thin walls, she made him wear them. She put him in tiny gloves and boots, wrapped a scarf around his neck, put a coat over his shoulders, and a hat over his hair every time he woke up in the morning.

Before he was allowed to touch anything else in the house, he had to get dressed. He had to wear his winter gear, no matter how unbearably hot everything felt, before he was allowed to eat or walk around. And he had to wear it everywhere he went in the house, even on the says that he never left it.

Vadim didn’t know why. He couldn’t put his feet on his own floor unless he had boots on. He couldn’t touch the handles of the doors unless he had his gloves. He couldn’t hug his parents unless he was dressed head-to-toe in coats and sweaters. Vadim had never set his bare skin against anything in his own house aside from his bed and the floor of his bedroom.

And for some reason, his mother never went in there.

She waited outside his door every morning, ready to catch him in case he tried sneaking out in bare feet or without his hat, spinning him around swiftly and sending him right back until he was fully changed. She never set foot inside, and neither did his father. His father wasn’t around enough to set foot pretty much anywhere in Vadim’s life, but when he was around, he followed the same rules as Vadim’s mother.

No touching unless clothed.

No leaving his room unless clothed.

No entering any rooms in the house aside from the kitchen, the bathroom, and his own room, even if he was clothed.

No bringing friends over.

Scratch that, no making friends.

And especially, above all else, no interacting with guests when they came to the house. If anyone ever came over, Vadim was to vanish into his room without a trace. He was not to speak if he heard a voice through the door. He was not to move if there was a chance someone might hear him. He was not to leave until his mother or father came to get him. He was not allowed to exist for those brief spaces in time where guests entered Vadim’s strange, rule-filled household.

He hated the parties his parents threw, when they did throw them.

He could hear everyone, laughing and dancing and joking and enjoying themselves downstairs, but he wasn’t allowed to join them. He couldn’t dance to the music he heard some faceless musician playing from far below, for fear of his footsteps alerting them to his presence. He couldn’t laugh at the jokes he discerned through the thin walls, for fear of his giggles seeping through the wood. He couldn’t enjoy himself as he listened to the joy of others, for fear that someone might find him and realized he existed.

He could only sit on his bed, stare at the white walls in his windowless room, and listen to the happiness he was not allowed to feel.

It numbed him. It made him feel cold inside and out, despite the warmth of the clothes he was forced to wear. Despite the unbearable heat of the thick winter protection, Vadim felt like his soul was freezing, all the way from his head to his toes.

So he took off his gloves whenever company came over.

It was the one thing he could indulge himself in. No parents came to his room to check on him until things were over. No one was allowed to venture upstairs lest they find the hidden boy in the white walls. Vadim was free and alone in his room to remove his gloves as he pleased.

He couldn’t remove anything else, though. There was no telling when his parents might come barging up to release him from his cold isolation without warning, and gloves were the easiest things to pull on before they noticed something was off. He could take them off and put them on in a heartbeat if he had to, and no one would see a thing.

So he removed his gloves, and looked at his hands. He marveled at the pale whiteness of them, far paler than his mother’s or father’s skin, even though they were both fair in their own right. His hands were so pale, so blindingly white, that they seemed almost blue. Tinged by ice and snow that Vadim had never touched. They looked so cold. Almost dead.

Was that why he wasn’t allowed to show his body? Because he looked dead?

Vadim didn’t know. He just stared at his hands, examining each and every crevice of skin on the smooth appendages, touching them, rubbing them together, playing with his fingers, using them to comb through smooth strands of pale hair on his head. His hair was white, like his hands. Sometimes, he would pull out loose strands while he was combing through it and they were practically the exact same shade of white as his hands. He looked cold and dead all around.

No wonder they kept him locked away.

And normally, Vadim was fine with this. Except one day. One random day when his parents had thrown another party and he’d heard the usual voices through the door. He didn’t know what in him had changed that day. He didn’t know why hearing what he always heard, seeing the white he always saw, made him so angry.

But this day, he didn’t want to listen to the rules. This day, he wanted to leave his room and look at the people whose faces he could only imagine. He refused to do anything else. And what was more…he wanted to leave his gloves off when he did it.

Where the streak of rebellion had come from, Vadim would never know. But it would change his life forever when he threw open the door to his room, a pale hand clenched tightly around a knob it had only made direct contact with a few times, and found himself face-to-face with a young girl.

She looked about his age. She had pale white skin, but hers was flushed with small tinges of red where his was blue. She had pale hair, but hers was yellow where his was white. She had pale blue eyes, but Vadim – who had seen his eyes once in a mirror his mother kept downstairs – knew his pale blue orbs were even paler. He was a paler, colder, more dead version of the child before him.

As Vadim stared at the girl and she stared at him, Vadim began to wish he’d never opened the door. If people out there looked like this, and Vadim himself was so vastly different from them…maybe he should keep hiding away.

He didn’t like seeing her. He tried to shut the door quickly in her face and retreat back to his white room of solitude, but her hand stopped him. It reached out to grab his free hand, the one swinging away from her, pulling it to an abrupt stop and keeping him in place.

Vadim felt his heart flutter with a feeling he hadn’t experienced before. Someone…was touching him. Someone’s skin…was on his. He could feel the creases and wrinkles in her hand, much as he felt the creases and wrinkles in his own. He felt the blood beating in her veins and the slight, oh so slight, flash of warmth her hand sent through his body. She felt real and alive, and she was touching him when even his parents couldn’t bear his cold deadness.

He felt a flash of something, joy perhaps, and he turned to look at the girl who’d stopped him.

But just as soon as he felt the flash, it left. Because just as soon as the girl touched his hand, and the feeling of his hand sank into hers, she shrieked like a banshee and yanked her hand away, staring at him in horror.

Her eyes were wide with fright, her body was trembling, and she backed away like he was…inhuman.

“M-Monster.” The girl stammered in fear, her hand trembling as she held it away from her body. Vadim’s eyes flicked down to it and he saw a tinge of blue that looked like fingers, right where his own hand had touched hers, fading away into her pale skin.

Barely a few seconds later, the rest of the household had come running up to see what had caused the little girl to scream so horribly, Vadim’s parents included, and they’d all seen him. The white boy. The cold boy. The dead boy. The ice monster.

Vadim didn’t really remember what his parents had done to him as punishment that night after everyone left. His mind shut it out, he supposed. Perhaps because of the pain it caused him. Or maybe it just wasn’t important. Either way, he knew he’d been punished, and that was how he’d discovered he was different.

Other people weren’t punished for touching someone else’s hand. Other people didn’t turn people’s skin blue when they touched them. Other people weren’t called monsters upon their first encounter with human beings.

Vadim was different. He always had been. He always would be.

At some point, he used this difference, this icy power of his, to escape the punishments and tortures of his parents. He’d been about ten at the time, but it hadn’t taken much. It hadn’t even been painful for the two of them, peacefully sleeping in their bed.

All Vadim had had to do was creep downstairs out of his bedroom in the middle of the night. In nothing but the simple shorts and T-shirt that he wore as pajamas. Into the large bedroom he’d never been allowed inside, even when dressed. Over to the large bed where his parents lay sleeping, content and oblivious. And then under the covers with them, squeezing gently in between the two people who’d given him life, his skin touching theirs for the first time, as he drifted off to sleep beside them.

He’d slept beside his parents that night, close to them for the first time in his life.

That was all it had taken.

He woke up the next morning, and two corpses were resting on either side of him, skin tinged deep blue and bodies icy to the touch.

When the doctors came, they were baffled. They said the two had frozen to death in their sleep. But how? It was summertime and the house was insulated from the Russian cold. They couldn’t figure it out. Vadim merely watched them struggle over the problem, puzzle and speculate for a while, and then shrug and give up.

They’d frozen to death, a death of natural cause.

Vadim, the poor child, had just happened to be there when it happened. But at least, they told him, patting his coat-covered shoulder in comfort. He’d gotten to be there with them when they died.

Yes, he smiled. He’d gotten to be there with them.

After that, Vadim was free. And barely three months into his freedom, he found a calling. A job position with a local group that everyone else feared. That everyone said were monsters and demons in disguise, who killed mercilessly with the cold of a harsh Russian winter.

Perfect.

Vadim became a mercenary. A hitman for hire. He was very good at his job. All he had to do was sneak somewhere – and he was very good at being so quiet no one knew he existed – and catch someone by surprise. Then he could shoot them. Stab them. Hit them over the head. Or simply…hold them for a while. Anything worked.

But there was always a touch of blue to his victims when he was done with them. A kiss from the ice, his coworkers called it. A kiss from the Ice Assassin. That was what he became. Vadim, the Ice Assassin.

An expert murderer. An ice monster no one could tame. A cold, dead beast that went about as it pleased, spreading its cold everywhere. He dyed his white hair icy, crystallic blue to match his persona and dressed in shades of white and blue at all times (but still in the winter fashion he was used to). The Ice Assassin. It was a good fit for him.

Everything was perfect.

…

Until the ice found fire.

***

Kazimir was sixteen when he first met Vadim, the Ice Assassin. He’d just joined the mafia as – you’d probably never believe him – a lawyer. Because yes, expert criminals and crime bosses needed legal counsel too, now and then. And (as Kazimir quickly discovered) they didn’t care who represented them as long as they were competent, even if that competent person was a teenage boy who’d never been to law school in his life, but knew his way around a courtroom, evidence, and trials.

And they also paid much better than regular clients. That was a nice plus.

So anyway, Kazimir was a sixteen-year-old boy working as a lawyer for the Russian mafia when he’d first run into Vadim.

And when he said ran into…he literally meant ran into.

Kazimir hadn’t been looking up to see where he was walking in the grocery store, too busy trying to decipher the scribbles he’d left himself at 3 a.m. of what he needed after finishing up his notes for a new case. Usually, people walked out of his way. He was a tall, beefy boy – even at the tender age of seventeen – and the tattoos he sported on his neck and arms usually were a good crowd deterrent as well.

He’d never had problems walking around before. But this time he did.

This time, he slammed into a boy much shorter than himself but probably around his age group, and sent the smaller boy crashing to the floor.

“Oh my God!” Kazimir yelped in horror, shoving his grocery list in his pocket and reaching a hand down towards the boy on the floor below him. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t see you there!”

The boy ignored Kazimir, rolling over onto his hands and knees and facing away from him, pushing himself to his feet in lieu of taking Kazimir’s hand.

“It’s fine.” He said icily, his voice matching with the icy blue hair and snow-white coat he sported perfectly. “No harm done.”

“I knocked you over, though…” Kazimir sighed, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. He hated hurting people. It wasn’t really his thing. He could do it, of course. It was a requirement to be in the mafia. But he didn’t like to. And he certainly didn’t want to be running around giving people injuries at his friendly neighborhood Walmart. That would make him kind of a jerk.

“At least let me apologize to your face.” Kazimir said, feeling guilty already at the thought that this guy would leave and he wouldn’t even get the chance to apologize properly.  
The boy stood in place for a while, giving Kazimir the cold shoulder, but eventually he sighed and turned around. “Fine.” He said flatly, icy blue eyes flickering up to meet Kazimir’s. “You may apologize.”

Kazimir saw the boy’s face…and fell speechless.

He was…beautiful. Pale skin as white as snow, with a touch of icy blue that took away the delicate softness the snowy color would’ve otherwise given him. Cold eyes in the palest blue shade Kazimir had ever seen, staring right into his soul with the tiniest flecks of deep, cornflower blue in them. Icy blue hair cascading around his face, the roots just the subtlest line of their true white color. A face that was sculpted delicately yet sharply, like a beautiful icicle waiting to crash down on your head and impale your skull when you weren’t looking.

He was deadly but gorgeous.

“You’re a knockout.” Kazimir said aloud before he could stop himself, gawking into the boy’s unblinking blue eyes. “Are you single?”

The boy stared at Kazimir, the slightest hint of confusion entering those stunning eyes as though he wasn’t sure what Kazimir meant. “Am I…single?” The boy repeated. “Are you asking me if I exist as an individual human being? If so, then yes.”

“No, that’s not what I’m asking.” Kazimir laughed sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head with a grin as he shifted nervously in front of the coolly beautiful boy before him. “I’m asking if you’re, ah, seeing anybody. You know. Dating?”

“Oh.” The boy said flatly, confusion leaving his eyes to replace them with the same dead expression as before. “Is that how you always apologize to the people you run over in Walmart?”

Kazimir laughed again, hoping he didn’t seem like too much of a bumbling idiot. This guy seemed way too smart to date an idiot. Kazimir would have to pick up his game.  
“No. Just the ones that catch my eye.” He said smoothly, winking flirtatiously at the icy boy.

The boy stared at him a while longer, apparently not comprehending what Kazimir was doing. “Catch your eye?” He repeated again. “What does that mean?”

“It means I think you’re hot.” Kazimir said bluntly, deciding to screw flirting with this gaunt individual and just get straight to the point. “And I’m a hot-blooded male who wants to do some hot things to you because of that.”

The boy’s icy eyes widened now, pure shock filling them as he stared at the unflinching, unrepentant Kazimir.

“Hot.” The boy murmured, his gaze flicking down to Kazimir’s hands for some reason. “I’ve never…never, _ever_ been described with words like those.”

The boy smiled a faint, icy smile, as if sharing a private joke with himself, and then looked back up at Kazimir, his dead expression back in place. “Sorry, but I decline your advances.” He said blankly. “I’m not what you think I am and you won’t want something like me once you figure out what that is.”

Kazimir didn’t miss the way he said “something” rather than “someone”. Poor guy. He must’ve had a rough childhood. Then again, many kids in Russia had rough childhoods these days, what with the mafia becoming more prominent and the winters growing harsher, as though some evil deity had infected them and blown them out of proportion.

“I don’t think I’ll care about who you are when I find out.” Kazimir said, making sure to emphasize the “who” in his own sentence in place of the “what” Ice Boy had no doubt expected. “I’ll still date you, no matter what your past is like.” He shrugged casually, shooting Ice Boy a broad, warm grin. “Like I said, I’m a hot-blooded male.”

Ice Boy stared Kazimir down for a while longer, almost like he was trying to dissect Kazimir with his gaze and see if he really could handle whatever Ice Boy had to offer.

Finally, Ice Boy looked at him and said, “Not hot enough for what you’re going to find.” And spun around on his heel, ready to march off into the grocery store like a bad dream.

A bad dream that Kazimir didn’t want to let go of.

“Hold on just a minute!” He whined, running up behind Ice Boy and wrapping his arms around the boy from behind, holding him in place in a bear hug.

“Don’t touch me.” Ice Boy hissed instantly, wriggling around in his arms. “I’m warning you. Don’t.”

Kazimir rolled his eyes at the dramatic statement, choosing to settle his chin on Ice Boy’s head, letting the unexpectedly soft blue hair brush against his skin. His arms remained locked around Ice Boy, encaging him in Kazimir’s warm embrace, and Kazimir pressed his front against Ice Boy’s back, further trapping the boy in place.

“You can’t scare me off, Ice Boy.” Kazimir said jokingly, squeezing the smaller boy’s body playfully. “I’m gonna be right here no matter what you say. Until you agree to go out with me.”

Ice Boy froze in place, his heart starting to pound in his chest frantically. “You…You aren’t letting go.” He said slowly, almost dazedly, sounding like he was stating a fact rather than complaining. “Why aren’t you letting go?”

“Because I need to convince you somehow to give in to me!” Kazimir whined, rubbing his cheek against the soft hair on Ice Boy’s head. “And since you’re trying to run away, I’ve gotta keep you in place while I do it.”

“But…aren’t you cold?” Ice Boy whispered next, body still statue-still in Kazimir’s arms.

“Cold?” Kazimir repeated with a confused frown, glancing down at the boy. “Um…no?”

He supposed where his body was touching Ice Boy’s he felt a little cool, but it was refreshing from the heat that seemed to surround his body every day. Maybe that _was_ a little odd. Usually when Kazimir hugged people, he could feel their warmth, and it sometimes almost overwhelmed the already overheating boy. Thank God he lived in Russia where the cold weather numbed his heat down somewhat. And this boy seemed to have that same effect on him. A refreshing, cooling touch – like ice to the skin – that took away the heat for a few seconds.

“I feel nice.” Kazimir admitted aloud, humming in pleasure at the gentle coolness seeping through his clothing. “Normally, I’m always burning up but you’re really cooling me off somehow. It feels great.”

“Great?” Ice Boy repeated incredulously (he sure repeated things a lot, didn’t he?). “How could this possibly feel great to you?”

“Well excuse me. I didn’t know I was that bad of a hugger.” Kazimir muttered grumpily, a little insulted by how truly flabbergasted Ice Boy sounded.

“That’s not it.” Ice Boy said immediately, finally tilting his head back to meet Kazimir’s eyes. Electric blue on ice, their gazes met, Kazimir feeling like the world was falling out from under his feet when he saw those beautiful eyes.

“How are you holding me?” Ice Boy whispered softly, his blue-tinged lips moving slowly on his pale-as-death face. “How aren’t you letting go? Freezing up? Calling me monster?”

Kazimir was admittedly confused by that odd string of phrases, and he stared at Ice Boy with that confusion in his eyes. “Uh, I’m just not?” He offered lamely, unsure of what else he was supposed to say. “Dude, you’re not that cold. A little cool maybe, but that feels great to me.”

Ice Boy’s eyes widened, and he looked down at his own hands as if checking on something. “You feel great, too.” He whispered softly, almost absently, as he studied them. “You’re…warm.”

“Really? People usually say I’m like a heater on full-blast. Way too hot.” Kazimir said cheerfully, happy at the description Ice Boy had given.

Ice Boy shook his head, still staring at his hands. “No. You’re just warm. Nice and warm.” He said aloud, rubbing his pale hands together.

Kazimir stared at them for a minute, then reached out his own hand, holding the cool appendages in the heat of his grasp. He and Ice Boy locked eyes again as they held hands, neither one speaking a word.

Kazimir wasn’t sure how long they stood there in Walmart, staring into each other’s eyes and holding hands in front of the baffled crowds moving around them, but he didn’t care. This was the nicest he’d felt in a long time.

“Come to dinner with me.” Kazimir said at some point, still staring at Ice Boy. And Ice Boy had nodded in agreement.

***

“You’re an idiot.” Vadim smiled, watching Kazimir make various faces at him as they both waited in the car for their targets to arrive. Well, technically they weren’t _their_ targets. They were targets for Vadim that he had to be on stakeout for, and Kazimir had complained earlier that since Vadim was always out stalking his next victims, Kazimir next got many chances to be with him. He’d then demanded to come along with Vadim on his stakeout and call it a “date”.

So here they were, eating pizza in the car while soft music played, Kazimir making all kinds of stupid, funny faces to get Vadim to smile while they waited for the targets together.  
It was sweet. Even something like Vadim could admit that. Kazimir was sweet in general. He’d spent four months of their relationship just trying to figure out how to make Vadim smile, another two trying to get him to laugh. All because he “wanted to see Vadim happy”. Kazimir also liked to cuddle with Vadim and play with his hair, making that little humming noise in his chest that he made each time he was happy. Kazimir liked calling Vadim randomly during the day to say he loved him or ask how his day was going. If Vadim told him that he was too busy or that he didn’t want to talk right then, Kazimir would breezily agree and hang up, respecting Vadim’s wishes for privacy or space. Kazimir was sweet and considerate with everything he did, despite his beefy, dorky, idiotic appearance.

Vadim loved him.

“So what if I’m an idiot?” Kazimir asked, grinning at Vadim as he held his icy hand in his own delicious warmth. “At least I’ve got a smart person like you to balance me out.”

Vadim snorted at that, offering Kazimir a light smile and looking out the front window of the car again. “True.” He said softly. “You wouldn’t be able to think without me around.”

“I still have issues thinking when you are around.” Kazimir said teasingly, leaning over and kissing Vadim on the cheek. “You’re very distracting, you know.”

“Only to you.” Vadim remarked coolly, which was true. No one but Kazimir had ever seemed to like the corpse-like look Vadim presented, or the icy coldness of his aura that permeated the very air around him. Everyone gave him a wide berth like he bore death itself on his shoulders, too afraid to be swallowed by his cold and his ice to come near.

Everyone except Kazimir. Kazimir was drawn to him like a moth to a flame, hugging him and holding him and saying how much he loved the cool feeling Vadim gave him. It baffled Vadim to know end, and he couldn’t for the life of him figure out what kind of fire monster Kazimir must be if he was able to withstand Vadim’s cold so easily, but for a while, he hadn’t even believed Kazimir’s resistance to it was true.

It was when Vadim had gotten back to house late one day, finding Kazimir had decided to spend the night and was sleeping on his bed (like he sometimes did) that Vadim finally conceded the point. Because Vadim had been too tired to do anything but sleep that day, and he’d plopped down next to Kazimir on the bed without thinking.

He’d woken up in horror, absolute terror shooting through his veins as he looked at his lover beside him, praying to God that he wouldn’t see the fatal error he’d made.

But…Kazimir had been fine. He’d blinked sleepily a few times and woken up thanks to Vadim’s abrupt movement, staring at him in confusion with his tan skin that flushed red with the hot blood running through his veins. Very much alive. Very much okay. Still warm as usual.

That was the day Vadim truly fell in love with this man of fire who could hold the ice monster without consequence. It was the day Vadim finally admitted Kazimir wasn’t bothered by Vadim’s cold and fully became Kazimir’s boyfriend.

Here they were now, several months later, holding hands in a car while waiting for the people Vadim was going to murder.

It was romantic.

“You know, I still can’t believe I just noticed how cold you are to other people.” Kazimir announced, still grinning at his boyfriend. “When Egor accidentally touched your shoulder today, he jumped back so fast! And his hand was all blue, like he’d been holding ice for hours!”

“That’s what everyone else is like with me.” Vadim announced, scooting closer to Kazimir in the car and leaning his head against the warm boy’s broad shoulder. “You’re just a freak.”

Kazimir chuckled at the remark, tipping his own head over to rest his cheek on Vadim’s hair, both of them cuddling contentedly, their fingers intertwined on their laps. Fire and ice. Hot and cold. Kazimir and Vadim.

They were opposites who attracted more than life and death itself. Everything was perfect.

Until several months after many more stakeout dates, when Vadim had been given his newest mission. When he’d been told that if he failed to complete this mission, he would be removed from the mercenary group he was a part of. That others would take up the mission in his place and be asked to do far worse. The day he’d had to decide between hurting someone he loved or letting others completely wipe that someone’s existence from the earth.

The day he’d been told to cripple Kazimir, or let the other mercenaries murder him.

…The day that ruined his life.

***

Kazimir would never forget it. He would never forget it and he would never forgive it.

He’d wanted to take Vadim somewhere special that fateful night. He’d wanted them to walk hand-in-hand under the stars, late at night since Vadim said he didn’t have any missions to go on. He’d wanted them to chat and laugh and fall in love slowly like all those cheesy couples in the romantic dramas did.

He should’ve known he wasn’t living in one of those dramas. He should’ve known the monster was lying when he said he had no missions.

Kazimir was his mission that night. And Kazimir had ignored all of the warning signs until it was too late.

They’d walked along the streets, under the stars while they held each other’s hands, Vadim smiling and laughing in that adorable way of his, just like they always did. Vadim had been a little bit off about the hugs, hesitant before hugging back each time Kazimir gave him one, and holding on a little longer than usual, like he never wanted to let go.

But he refused to say anything about it. Kazimir just assumed it was because it was their two-year anniversary. Even Vadim was feeling a little romantic that day.

How very wrong he was.

When they’d finished walking around and staring at the stars together, Vadim had turned to Kazimir and asked him to spend the night at his place. With a flat expression, yet strangely cute blush on his cheeks, he’d asked Kazimir to go to bed with him. To…do _that_ with him.

Kazimir had been shocked by the suggestion. Even two years into their relationship, he hadn’t expected the icy boy to warm up to Kazimir enough to do that. To give him that level of trust and belief.

Kazimir had been honored. He’d been happier than he’d ever felt in his life.

He’d been a damn fool.

Vadim, with his icy heart and his body of death, had seduced Kazimir like a snake in a garden. And Kazimir had listened to that hissing snake whispering those sweet nothings without a second thought.

He still remembered climbing in bed with Vadim, both of them more vulnerable than they had ever been with each other before. Than they’d ever been with anyone before. Kazimir’s warm body had wrapped around Vadim’s, and Vadim’s cold had pressed up against his chest, both of their essences seeping into each other, balancing each other out in perfect harmony. They hadn’t done anything yet; they merely basked in the glow they provided for one another, and the trust they had in each other, both of them defenseless to the other.

Except Vadim hadn’t been defenseless. He’d been wearing a platinum ring, one that Kazimir had gotten for him a year ago on their first anniversary, and one that he’d insisted on wearing even after he took everything else off. At the time, Kazimir had been touched by the gesture. It had seemed like Vadim cherished Kazimir and his gesture of affection through the ring, and wanted to keep it with him.

But this wasn’t a cheesy romance drama, and that wasn’t why Vadim wanted to keep the ring on. No. The ring that he wore wasn’t the same as it had been before.

A compartment and a needle had been installed in it. A compartment full of a strange amber liquid that Kazimir was unaware of, and Vadim all too aware of as they pressed together in the solitary darkness of Vadim’s room. A needle sharp as the edges of Vadim’s face, as dangerous in appearance as Vadim was in reality, that slid from the face of the ring as Vadim ran his fingers through Kazimir’s hair soothingly, keeping the larger boy’s attention off it.

A needle filled with the amber liquid, as Vadim ran his hands down Kazimir’s skin, over the muscular arms that had held him safely, without judgment, for two years. As Vadim subtly twisted the ring in his hand so that the needle pointed down, right above Kazimir’s skin, he took one single breath.

“Kazimir.” He said in a low, breathy voice to match Kazimir’s own, looking up into his eyes as they lay pressed together in the darkness, closer than ever before. Kazimir looked down at the boy he loved, and Vadim looked up at the boy he wouldn’t let himself love in that moment.

Even so, even despite Vadim’s monstrous heart, Kazimir had seen one hint of regret in those icy eyes in that moment. It came in the form of a single tear, a tear so pale and bright it looked like a droplet of ice sliding down his cheek in the moonlight. It was beautiful, like everything else about Vadim, and when it landed on Kazimir’s skin, it stayed there without melting. It was too cold for his warmth to penetrate.

Just like Vadim.

“I’m sorry.” The boy said softly, driving the needle into Kazimir’s arm.

Kazimir felt the cool hands on his body, and then the little prick in his arm. For a few seconds, he was confused. What was Vadim apologizing for? And then came the pain.

The utter, horrific, _searing_ pain within his arm.

Kazimir screamed like a banshee into the night, as he thrashed violently on the bed, Vadim swiftly rushing off the bed, gathering his clothes and slipping away without a trace. Kazimir’s arm was on fire, something flowing through his veins and feeling like it was burning away his muscles, eating them up as it went along. Tearing up his insides and devouring them inside his arm, being driven along by the bloodstreams in his body and spreading to the rest of him.

Kazimir screamed again, his mind blanking out with fiery pain as he grabbed his arm viciously, wishing he had the strength to tear it off. Kazimir stumbled off Vadim’s cold bed, his knees hitting the icy floor that Vadim always tread on, vision swirling with dots of black as he moaned horribly. He couldn’t think straight. He didn’t know what was going on.  
He wanted to call out to Vadim for help but at the same time he felt like he should be running away from the evidence of Vadim’s presence as fast as he possibly could. His pain-burdened mind hadn’t processed what his broken heart already knew. He was conflicted and overflowing with white-hot agony. 

He managed to stumble over to the window that he had helped Vadim install a few months ago in his room, and clumsily shove it open, screaming horribly out into the Russian night.

Luckily for him, a member of his mafia branch (Egor) had actually been walking nearby at the time, and had heard the horrendous scream. He’d come rushing over to see what the problem was and had spotted Kazimir’s limp body hanging out the window, horrid moans and screams coming from his mouth alongside sobs, the veins in his arm bulging black with poison.

If Egor hadn’t walked by when he had, the doctors told Kazimir when he regained consciousness several days later, they would’ve had to amputate his entire arm.

As it was, the poison had seeped too far into his muscle tissue, permanently damaging it and killing off any chance of it growing back. Shriveled muscle and tissue created toxins in his arm, dead cells that would never come to life again rotting away inside the living flesh around them. The poison created an infection in his arm that couldn’t be stopped even after they flushed out the liquid itself.

When the mafia leaders saw the images of the permanently demolished muscle and tissue within Kazimir’s arm, they’d immediately called in specialists besides their usual doctors to figure something out. They knew Kazimir’s arm didn’t have to be amputated – the sickness wouldn’t spread. But if left inside, his arm would be weakened by the embedded toxins, and become essentially useless. Even though his arm would be on his body, it would be like he had no arm anymore.

Kazimir almost preferred the option of amputation when he heard that. Wasn’t it much better not to have something that you used to than look at a reminder of it all the time when you knew nothing about it could change?

But thankfully, a strange doctor from Japan named Kishitani came up with a radical solution.

Cut out all the dead flesh. Surgically remove each sinew, each muscle that would never live again. Leave only living tissue behind in the arm, despite the fact that it would be inoperative without the removed muscles. And then replace all that dead material with…metal.

That’s right. Kishitani wanted to take out each bit of dead flesh Vadim’s poison had created in Kazimir’s arm and replace it with metal slates. Metal plates. Whatever you wanted to call them. He wanted to create muscle out of metal. Or at the very least give Kazimir so many metal implants in his arm that he would practically have a robotic arm.

There was a chance it could go horribly wrong, cause him to bleed out profusely, and he would die in minutes, Kishitani informed them cheerfully. Or, with enough physical therapy and practice, he could regain the full mobility of his arm, albeit a much heavier arm than before. It was their choice.

The mafia leaders had left the choice up to Kazimir. An amputated limb, a useless arm for life, an abrupt and bloody death, or a robotic metal arm. Those were the four scenarios painted before him.

Kazimir had always been a big fan of the _Terminator_ movies. Naturally, he chose the coolest option.

And Kishitani had gotten right to work, beginning a complex operation no one had ever tried before that Kazimir was later told had taken nearly thirteen hours. And that included the time it had taken for Kishitani to find metal workers in Russia who could sell him the kind of medical plates he needed. Kazimir was kept unconscious the whole time, his muscles and sinew slowly being removed and replaced with cold metal that forever chilled the inside of his arm.

Even after he got used to the heaviness of his limb, and had indeed regained the majority of his previous mobility, he was forever reminded of Vadim’s betrayal.

Vadim never once came to see Kazimir while Kazimir was recovering. He never once reached out with an explanation for his actions. Kazimir found out later from a Russian informant of theirs that Vadim had been ordered to disable Kazimir to prevent him from joining a raid they’d discovered his branch was planning. Vadim was chosen because he was the only one of their mercenaries who would be able to get close to Kazimir. Because Kazimir had trusted him. Because Kazimir had _loved_ him.

Vadim returned everything Kazimir had ever given him over the course of their two-year relationship, leaving them in boxes that were cool to the touch on Kazimir’s doorstep, an icy aura surrounding them that made Kazimir sick and made the metal in his arm feel even heavier.

He returned the clothes, the photos they’d taken together, the movie ticket stubs he’d always liked to hold onto…and the ring he’d used to poison Kazimir.

He kept nothing from their time together. And he said nothing to Kazimir about what he’d done or how he felt about it.

The Ice Assassin. He truly was an uncaring, unfeeling monster.

As Kazimir’s gifts slowly returned to him, his feelings for Vadim slowly changed. They turned from love to hatred. From affection to loathing. From regret and wistfulness to anger and vengefulness. Vadim became Kazimir’s most hated enemy, and Kazimir became Vadim’s biggest regret.

Later on, so many years later, when another boy fell into Kazimir’s life with icy blue eyes and an attitude problem, Kazimir thought he would only end up flirting with the kid. He wouldn’t pursue anything further. He wouldn’t let himself be betrayed.

But he found himself falling for this one, too, just like Vadim. Except this one was different from Vadim. This one laughed and teased and yelled and cried and became flustered like a regular human being. This one struggled with problems of his own but told Kazimir about them and let him help. This one was in denial about how he felt about Kazimir, but Kazimir could feel his icy walls breaking the more they got to know each other instead of building. This one cared about him when he seemed upset and held him when he felt like crying, despite how awkward it was for his tiny arms to fit around Kazimir’s broad shoulders. This one felt moral dilemmas over the crimes he committed and fought to protect the people he loved instead of betraying them. This one’s name was Shichi. He was a broken boy from Japan who helped fix the broken man with the metal arm.

Kazimir fell in love with him.

And as for Vadim, he never went near Kazimir as the years went by. He fooled himself into thinking that he’d never loved Kazimir, and that Kazimir had never loved him. He cut all ties with the lynx, pushing his warmth away and scorning him from all aspects of his cold, solitary life. He would never love again, not Kazimir, not anybody else.

But somewhere, deep in his icy heart, a small part of him always held onto the belief – the foolish, idiotic hope – that if he ever went back to Kazimir…they could be together once more. That the sweet warmth he remembered despite trying to forget would be waiting for him, and that everything could be as it was before. That his iciness could be melted if he ever decided to go back. That Kazimir would wait for him, because Kazimir loved him and always would.

The ice monster believed that his hold on Kazimir would always be there, that he could pull Kazimir back to him if he tried…until he met Shichi.

When he saw the concern in Kazimir’s eyes as Shichi walked across the room to him, the threat in the dark expression he shot Vadim’s way that said if he harmed the boy, Kazimir would kill him without a second thought, he knew he was wrong. Shichi had replaced Vadim, utterly and entirely. He’d stolen that place in Kazimir’s heart that Vadim thought he would always hold.

Kazimir loved Shichi now, and despised Vadim.

When Vadim spoke with Shichi, his icy coldness betrayed nothing of the way his heart was breaking inside his chest with every second he spent looking at the boy Kazimir had found to love. His replacement. The evidence of the life he’d lost, and the chance he’d missed.

He’d kissed Shichi before they parted because he knew that Kazimir must have kissed him, too. Kazimir’s lips, something Vadim would never feel again, had touched this boy at some point. He wanted to feel them one more time, through the boy who’d taken his place, and pray that old warmth would warm him.

He felt a little bit of it. Just a tiny taste of Kazimir’s heat lingering on Shichi’s lips like a marking, a sign of who he belonged to and where Kazimir’s heart now lay. He swallowed it in his cold, burning it into his mind and vengefully freezing it off Shichi, even though he knew it’d be replaced moments later.

He’d sent ice crackling over Shichi’s body, wishing he could freeze the boy to death like he’d done to his miserable parents so many years ago. He’d desperately wanted to kill the creature who didn’t know what he had taken from Vadim, but wasn’t going to give it back.

Then he’d felt Kazimir’s blinding heat rushing towards him…no…rushing towards _Shichi_ …and he’d left.

He’d taken that last bit of heat and left, leaving Kazimir with the boy he loved.

In a way, it was a good thing for Vadim that he’d done so. Now he had no foolish hope letting his icy heart cling to humanity. Now he could let go of the only thing that gave him any warmth or morality. Now he could truly be the Ice Assassin, separate from all other humans, even the ones he’d thought could love him.

Vadim was twenty-four the last time he realized he was different, and the first time he realized nothing could ever love a monster like him.

And that, my readers, is the end of his story.


	21. The Bear's Partner (Партнер медведя)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody! I'm sorry for the late update. My family dragged me into last-minute Black Friday shopping that took a lot longer than I expected.
> 
> ...A lot longer...
> 
> Anyways! I've got the chapter up now and it should be all good! We're nearing the end guys! Just a few more stories to get through! In fact, the next chapter might be the last one!
> 
> I hope you enjoy this one as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thanks for sticking with me through this whole thing! See you at the end of the chapter! <3

“Hello everyone!” Izaya said cheerfully. “Today, we’re finally going to get to a story that we’ve been promising for a while.”

“And we have our special guest with us to tell you what it is.” Shizuo cut in, nodding at someone off to the side of the camera.

“Hello, everyone.” Shichi waved as he came onto the screen, holding a particular black fluffball in his arms. “Today we’re telling a very important story and for the sake of making sure Izaya doesn’t steal my cat and keep him when the story is finished, I came along.”

Shichi held up the fuzzball, revealing Fluffles to the world.

Fluffles looked at the camera in disdain, flicking his tail as he meowed loudly.

“That’s right!” Izaya cheered. “Today we’re going to discover how Shichi and Fluffles met! It’s finally time!”

“I don’t know why I have to tell the story to the camera.” Shichi grumbled, looking at it in suspicion. “Why is that thing set up?”

“To preserve precious memories.” Izaya said instantly, plopping down on the couch and looking up at Shichi eagerly. “Now spill! It’s story time!”

“Tell us about Fluffles.” Shizuo agreed, sitting next to Izaya and peering up at Shichi just as eagerly. “And make sure you keep him in your arms or I’ll get jealous when Izaya gives the cat more attention than me.”

“Shizu-chan.” Izaya whined, looking at Fluffles longingly.

Fluffles meowed with equal longing to Izaya, reaching out a paw towards him desperately. “Oh, don’t be so dramatic.” Shichi scowled, sitting on a chair opposite the two boys and facing the camera. “Let’s just get this thing over with. I’ve got places to be.”

“So tell us!” Izaya chirped. “How did you and Fluffles meet…”

***

Shichi had been in Russia for two years at that point. On that fateful day where everything changed. The day where he would lose every inch of the fantastic freedom he’d spent so long fighting for. The day he would be blocked from individual thought and the ability to control his own life, a life all to himself where he listened to no one but himself. That marvelous independence Shichi had grown to so cherish would be stripped away from him in an instant. On the day his life became one of enslavement and misery to another creature’s demands. The day where neither his actions nor his thoughts were his own anymore.

In short: the day he got a cat.

He’d been walking. That was all. An act as innocent as taking a walk down the street from the compound. He wasn’t on a mission, he wasn’t out to murder somebody, he wasn’t even out to get into a fight with one of the rival mafia branches. No. He was just walking around and minding his own business. 

For some reason, of all the things he’d done up to that point, walking around was what the universe thought was the absolute worst and had decided to punish him for.

Then they placed that furball from hell right before him. And he’d been foolish enough to fall for the obvious trap.

Let’s back up a bit here.

Shichi was strolling along the street in the middle of a particularly bitter Russian winter, just enjoying the wind blowing him around like any proper local would, and thinking about how much longer he could stay outside before icicles started to grow on his face.

Pretty normal stuff, right? Nothing evil, nothing bad. He was just walking down the street, snow crunching underneath his boots, giving the same deadpan stare all Russian people gave each other as they passed by.

Shichi didn’t really know why he’d felt like going out for a walk that day. It had just seemed like the thing to do. Sure, there was a blizzard blowing and people were scurrying to get indoors before they caught hypothermia and frostbite…but those were just the tourists. Shichi had been here for two years now. He was a native.

“Even so, I’m still human.” Shichi muttered to himself as he pulled his jacket tighter, trying to block out the effects of a particularly icy gust of wind. “I’m not some ice freak like Vadim. I’ve gotta go inside at some point or I actually will start freezing up.”

Shichi looked ahead of himself, trying to decide whether he wanted to turn back now and walk straight to the compound or keep going until the end of the block and take the long way back.

“If I go back now,” Shichi said aloud, stopping in his tracks as he thought. “Then Egor will probably have me do some more training drills since it’s, ugh, Training Tuesday.” Shichi shuddered at the thought. Egor had recently gotten into finding certain weekday events like Taco Tuesday and converting them into excuses for intense and pointless training sessions.

For example, tomorrow was supposed to be Wrestling Wednesday and the day after that was Thrashing Thursday, both of them days comprised of nothing but fighting all day long in a bracket system for points. You wrestled on one day and sparred free-style on the other. Both days left you aching and tired, and by the midway point of the day, you really didn’t even care about the pain in your body anymore. You just wanted to kill something because you were so far done with life, and the only thing worthwhile left in the day was the prize at the end given to whoever had the most points.

Training Tuesday was just as bad, only the whole day was nothing but training exercises instead of fighting your classmates. Shichi had no inclination to walk back in on that. He’d left early in the morning before it started, and it was probably about halfway done by now. He wouldn’t even be in the running for the daily prize so why put himself through all that pointless misery?

“I’ll take the long way.” Shichi decided, giving a firm nod. “Who knows? If I catch hypothermia, maybe I’ll be excused from the next few days of practice, too.”

His mind made up, Shichi happily resumed his march through the freezing street, snow crunching and wind blowing all around him. 

As Shichi approached the end of the street, he noticed a small crowd of boys huddled at the end of the street corner, playing some kind of game. They were kicking at something that they were surrounding, yelling orders at each other and laughing at whatever was on the ground. One bent down to poke at it, and then instantly jumped away, falling on his back with a yowl of pain. 

Shichi paused and stared at the group as a few looked at their fallen comrade in concern, turning on the thing on the ground in anger. They began kicking harsher than before, yelling insults at it and smacking it with sticks in their hands that Shichi hadn’t seen before.

If that thing on the ground, a black fluffy lump, had apparently struck back against its attackers, then Shichi could very well assume it wasn’t just some kind of inanimate object they were hitting and kicking. That thing was an animal more than likely. A poor, cold, freezing, defenseless animal left out on the street to be picked on and abused by foolish young boys.

That didn’t really sit well with Shichi.

“Hey!” He shouted, approaching the group huddle at a faster speed, boots crunching quickly over the snow. “You kids! Knock it off!”

The kids looked up in panic at the angry teenager approaching them and the black fluffball took the opportunity to lash out at their leader’s face, claws raking across it and leaving deep lines of red streaked over his face.

The leader yelled in pain, kicking the fuzzy thing vengefully once more before he and the other boys turned tail and ran, dashing off into the blizzard to get away from the scary person bearing down on them.

Shichi glared after them for a few seconds, wishing he could split into two so one of him could chase those boys down and teach them a lesson while the other stayed here to help the black thing. But unfortunately, he couldn’t. So Shichi let out a heavy sigh and turned away from the running silhouettes, looking down at the black fuzzball on the ground.

“Hey.” He said gently, slowly bending down and peering at the ball. “You alright?”

He didn’t want to approach this thing too openly. It seemed pretty defensive of itself and it had seen only pain and abuse so far today, and possibly in its life. There was a very high chance this poor thing wouldn’t trust him at all. And Shichi had no inclination to come back to the compound with hypothermia and scratches.

“Hey.” He said again, even softer than before, cocking his head as he stared at the black fluff, covered in flecks of icy snow and mud from the boys’ boots. “I’m not gonna hurt you. Are you alright?”

He couldn’t even tell what the fuzzy thing was. It seemed like some inky black ball of fur, thick and long hairs sticking up into the air, freezing at the tips thanks to the icy blowing around it. It was shivering uncontrollably, its paws crusted with white ice and snow, and small drops of blood dripping onto the pale pillow of white snow it was laying on. It was some kind of…dog? Cat? A really fluffy hamster? Whatever it was, it was way too skinny than it ought to be. Shichi could see that, despite the fluffy fur that made it seem healthy at a first glance. Its ankles were too bony and skinny for the rest of its fluffy body, and its fur seemed ratty and matted instead of glossy and smooth like it probably ought to be.

This thing would’ve normally been beautiful, Shichi could tell that with one glance. A beautiful, graceful creature that lived completely independent of all masters and owners. Instead it was an underfed, rugged, beaten-up animal that was indiscernible from the bottom of a dirty mop and kicked on the street by idiotic boys for fun.

Just the thought of that made Shichi sick.

“I’m going to touch you a bit, alright?” Shichi told it, pulling his glove slowly off his hand and setting it gently on the snow in front of what he hoped was the animal’s face. “I need to see what kind of injuries you’ve got.”

The black ball gave a pathetic whine sound, one that sounded broken and beaten just like the rest of it, struggling to get up in protest.

Its thin legs wobbled horribly for a few seconds, like it was in tremendous pain just by standing but it was willing to try anyway if it meant getting away, and then collapsed beneath it, dropping it back into the freezing snow.

Shichi frowned at it in pity, his heart twisting horribly in his chest as it whined again, body twitching like it was still trying to move.

“Take it easy.” He said softly, slowly reaching a hand down to press against the creature’s fluffy fur. “I’m not like them.”

The fuzzy thing growled at him, raking a weak paw of claws at him that managed to get itself caught on his coat sleeve. It whined again and tried to pull away, body too weak to free its sharp, uncut claws from the thick material they’d gotten trapped in.

Shichi slowly reached a hand down to its paw, unlatching the claws from his sleeve for it and setting it softly on the ground. “Take it easy.” He repeated, returning his attention to pressing on the creature’s side, searching for wounds. “You’re gonna be fine.”

The creature seemed confused by what Shichi had done and tried scratching again, only to get its paw caught once more.

Once more, Shichi released its paw and set it back on the ground, moving his hand gently through the rough black fur and finding various cuts and scars along the skin hidden underneath its fur. He’d been right about how skinny the creature was: he could feel its skeleton practically the entire way his hand ran down it. This poor thing had probably never known a decent meal in its life.

“You’re gonna be okay.” Shichi assured the creature, pausing as he reached a wet spot on the creature’s skin, pulling his hand back to check his fingers. They were covered in bright red blood. A newly opened wound. Probably from those kids’ boots. And he had felt some swelling at the top of the cat’s leg, as though it had been sprained or broken by those same boots through their harsh kicks.

“Bastards.” Shichi muttered under his breath, looking down at the pathetic creature with a frown.

It whined again, although this time the whine sounded more like a weak mewl, and it managed to lift its head off the snow to peer at him suspiciously.

Shichi sucked in a breath when the creature’s eyes met his. They were a brilliant pale blue, like slabs of milky blue jade surrounded by inky fur, cut through with obsidian feline slits. Beautiful, gemstone eyes, filled with intelligence superior to many other animals that Shichi had met. They were the most beautiful eyes Shichi had ever seen.

This creature was a cat. A cat meant to be a stunning, gorgeous creature, but it had been left out in the cold like this to die.

The thought of that was disgusting.

“You need some help, buddy.” Shichi said softly, staring into those gorgeous feline eyes as his hand continued to gently stroke the cat’s shivering, broken body. “You need food, warmth, medicine, and maybe a cast for this leg. I’m gonna offer all that to you. Will you let me help you?”

The cat stared at him, giving another weak mewl before its head dropped on the snow, the creature heaving in a shaky, rasping breath.

It seemed like it was giving in. That was Shichi’s cue.

“Alright. Here we go.” Shichi whispered gently, slipping his hands under the thin, bony body and cradling it carefully against his chest.

He slowly stood up, holding the cat in one arm so he could grab the edge of his coat and wrap his coat over the shivering body, cradling the cat with both arms again once his coat was securely tucked around the cat.

No more long way for Shichi. He needed to get back to the compound as soon as possible.

“Okay, buddy.” Shichi whispered to the cat in his coat, beginning a brisk pace back to the compound. “Let’s get you someplace safe.”

He didn’t want to run because that might make the cat’s wounds worse, but he wanted to move as fast as he could. Shichi sped-walked past everyone else on the sidewalk, ignoring the glares he received for shoving past some people, only conscious of the faintly breathing feline pressed against his body for warmth.

No matter how fast he walked, it still seemed like it took far too long for him to reach the compound again, kicking open the door instead of knocking and rushing immediately towards the kitchen.

“Shichi!” Aleks said in surprise as Shichi blew past them all in the training room, marching with a purpose. “What the heck, man? Where’ve you been all day?”

“Ditching training no doubt.” Valeriya snorted, glaring at Shichi’s back. “Useless brat.”

“What’re you holding?” Aleks asked curiously, peering at the bundle in Shichi’s arms. “Is that a…cat?”

“Compassion in the face of cold is the most noble act of all.” Viktor said sagely, nodding at Shichi as he set down his training knives, following him into the kitchen.

“What are you doing?” Valeriya demanded as the others walked away from training, completely okay with the slightest opportunity to ditch training. “You’re all going to lose the challenge today!”

“No one cares.” Shichi snapped, glaring at her over his shoulder. “This is more important.”

Shichi reached a counter in the kitchen and gently set the cat down on it, revealing the broken body to his classmates’ eyes.

“Oh my god.” Aleks breathed in shock, looking at the cat with sad eyes. “What happened to him?”

“Some idiot kids were kicking him in the snow.” Shichi growled, running over to the sink and getting some warm water started. “But I’m pretty sure his whole life has been like that so far.”

“How old is he?” Aleks asked next, gently petting the cat’s head.

The cat mewled weakly again, too tired to even swipe at him.

“No idea.” Shichi responded, letting the water run over his hand as he glanced at the cat in concern. “But could you guys make some food for him or something? What can cats eat?”

“I think they can eat fish and meats.” Aleks said carefully, looking at Viktor with a scrunched brow. “Right? That seems like a cat thing.” 

Viktor shrugged, just as clueless as Aleks. “There is no harm in attempts, but great harm rests in inaction.” He responded.

“Viktor’s right. Let’s try it anyway.” Aleks declared, rushing over to the fridge and examining their options. “There’s gotta be a few meaty leftovers that we’ve had recently.”

In the meantime, Viktor checked their freezer for their frozen meats that weren’t prepared yet, ready to make an entirely new meal for the starving cat.

Shichi had never been more grateful to his amazing friends than he was in that moment.

The water finally warmed up over Shichi’s fingers and he quickly went and got the cat, cradling him once more as he brought him over to the water. “I know you might not like this, but we need to clean you off and warm you up.” Shichi whispered to the cat, gently placing him in the sink underneath the water.

The cat mewled in complaint, but did nothing else as Shichi ran the water over him, gently brushing his hand up and down the cat’s body to rub the warm water into his fur and wash all the mud and freezing snow off him.

The cat actually seemed to sigh in relief after a few seconds of this, his shivering muscles relaxing under Shichi’s touch and the warm water, slumping down into the sink like it was the most comfortable thing he’d ever slept on in his life.

Shichi frowned as he thought of this very real possibility, washing out the cat’s fur and gently scrubbing the blood out of his wounds.

“I’m gonna need a first aid kit, too.” Shichi announced, parting some of the cat’s fur so he could get a better look at the gash in the cat’s side and the horrible state of his leg.

“I’ll get it since Viktor’s cooking.” Aleks nodded, running off to find one.

Viktor began to thaw out some steak in the oven, putting the remnants of the tuna casserole they’d had before in the microwave to heat it up a bit. Shichi continued to clean off the cat, whispered softly and comfortingly to him the whole time.

And it was indeed a boy. Shichi could see that now.

After a few minutes, Aleks brought the kit back and Shichi got to work, stitching up the worst wounds and bandaging the lesser ones, setting the broken let in a splint and cast. The cat didn’t say a thing the entire time, just letting Shichi operate on him while he soaked under the warm water.

After a few minutes of this, Shichi took the cat out of the sink (much to the cat’s disappointment) and began gently rubbing him down with a towel, drying off the thick, shiny fur and wrapped the cat in a tiny blanket when he was done. Shichi fully intended to buy a heater later for the cat to curl around. 

He wanted to take all the cold and freezing hardship this cat had ever faced in his life and banish it all away with the warmth of a true family and household.

As the cat cuddled up in the blanket on the counter, mewling again, Shichi and Aleks both began to help Viktor with the cat’s meal, Shichi taking the tuna casserole over to the cat while Aleks helped cook the steak.

Shichi set the tiny plate of casserole gently in front of the cat, gently urging him to eat it, and the cat sniffed at it for a few seconds before gingerly eating. Shichi watched with a smile and a mixture of happiness and pain in his heart as the cat began to ravenously eat the tuna, snapping it up like it was the most delicious thing in the world.

He was going to pamper this thing so hard.

Shichi stroked the cat a few times, petting the soft, silky fur as it ate, feeling the purr rumble up in the cat’s body at the gentle treatment.

That might’ve been the first purr of contentment this cat had ever given. Shichi’s smile widened just the tiniest bit more.

He petted the cat for a few more seconds and then returned to Viktor’s side, getting the next portion of the cat’s meal ready.

The cat ate the steak just as eagerly as it had the tuna casserole, letting all of them pet it this time as it happily ate, purring all the while.

When it had finished, it settled down in the blanket with a yawn, falling asleep right there on the counter with its first full belly.

Shichi cradled the cat in his arms again, taking him into his bedroom and setting him down on his pillow. He, Viktor, and Aleks all watched the sleeping feline, wondering what they should do next.

“I’m not gonna turn him outside again.” Shichi announced, stroking the cat gently as he slept. “I refuse. Not after seeing what he’s been living like all this time.”

“Egor is going to want an explanation if you keep him.” Aleks pointed out, watching the cat with a frown. “And considering what Egor is like, I don’t know if he’ll let you keep a pet.”

“I can train him if that’s what Egor wants.” Shichi said harshly, still stroking the sleeping cat. “I’ll teach him to be a fighting cat, or something.”

“Efforts may be wasted, but they are always worth it.” Viktor agreed, nodding encouragingly at Shichi.

“See? Viktor thinks I ought to give it a shot.” Shichi replied stubbornly, turning to watch the cat. “I’m going to keep this cat. No matter what Egor says.”

Aleks sighed at that, running a hand through his hair and looking at the feline nervously. “Well…if you’re that serious about it, I can’t stop you.” He finally admitted, glancing at the clock on the wall. Egor would be back in about fifteen minutes to check on their progress.

“What are you gonna name him?” Aleks asked next, looking back at Shichi. “He’s gotta have a name.”

“I don’t know.” Shichi blinked in shock, still petting the cat. “I didn’t think about that.”

“Names have power.” Viktor said simply, shrugging and looking at Shichi expectantly. His message was obvious. The cat had to have a name, and it had to be a good one.

“I’ve always wanted a cat.” Shichi said slowly. “And I really wanted a fluffy one.” He stared at the fluffy cat beside him, thinking hard about what he would name a fluffy cat.

“Fluffy is too mainstream.” Shichi said, frowning at the thought. “But I want it to have “fluff” somewhere in the name.”

“How about Fluffypants?” Aleks suggested with a grin. “I like that one.”

“No way.” Shichi scowled. “Nothing with pants in it.”

“Fluffwhiskers?” Aleks said next. “Fluffshorts? His Royal Fluffiness?”

“Fluffles.” Shichi decided out of nowhere. “His name is going to be Fluffles.”

There was silence for a few seconds as everybody took that in.

“Fluffles the Killer Cat.” Aleks said aloud, wrinkling his nose a bit. “Are you sure about that?”

“Yes.” Shichi nodded firmly, smiling down at the beautiful cat. “Fluffles the Killer Cat. He’s gonna be my partner now.”

“Well…if that’s what you want.” Aleks sighed. “I can’t wait to see Egor’s reaction to this.”

Egor’s reaction didn’t matter to Shichi. What mattered was that this poor cat was off the streets and Shichi knew he wanted to take care of him. He wanted to keep this cat with him for as long as possible. As he was pretty sure, if the way the cat subtly rolled into Shichi’s hand as it lay there on his pillow was any indication, that the cat wanted to stay with him too.

And they would stay together, Shichi and Fluffles. They’d be inseparable for every year to come, as long as they both lived. No matter how much they got on each other’s nerves, or how often one would give the silent treatment to the other in petty revenge for something they’d done, they stayed together.

Shichi and Fluffles. To the very end.

***

“Aw!” Izaya gushed, grinning widely at Shichi. “That was such a sweet story!”

“Just what we needed after last time.” Shizuo shuddered at the memory. “Poor Vadim.”

“We do not bring up Vadim unless we’re trying to feel depressed.” Shizuo said instantly. “Now Shichi probably wants to get out of here.”

“You got that right.” Shichi declared, jumping to his feet and making sure Fluffles was still clutched tightly in his arms. “I still need to work out my lesson plan for tomorrow and there’s a staff meeting today at the school that starts in thirty minutes.”

“Can’t Fluffles stay with us while you’re out? Please?” Izaya whined, holding his arms out to the black Maine Coon cat desperately.

“No.” Shichi said stubbornly. “You’re gonna steal my cat if that happens. My partner in crime. My buddy.” Fluffles meowed and flicked Shichi gently in the face with his tail, almost fondly.

“Exactly.” Shichi nodded in agreement with the cat, spinning on his heel to leave. “Now I really have to get going. Goodbye.”

“Bye Dad!” Izaya waved as Shichi swept out of the room, Fluffles secure in his arms just like he’d been several years ago on an icy street in Russia.

“Those two really are inseparable.” Shizuo commented as he watched them leave, smiling at the thought. “It’s kind of nice.”

“Yeah. And I understand Fluffles’ side of it perfectly.” Izaya said with his own smile, sitting down beside the blonde. “After all, we’re the same. Beat up and broken creatures that had never experienced love before, taken in and made whole again by Shichi. I love Shichi more than I ever loved my own father. I’m so thankful that I met him.”

“You had me too, remember?” Shizuo grumbled, pressing a kiss to the top of the raven’s head. “The whole time.”

“True.” Izaya admitted, smiling up at Shizuo. “I had you, too.”

“And you’ll always have me.” Shizuo told him, squeezing Izaya’s hand comfortingly. “To the very end.”

“…To the very end.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if the ending seems a little rushed. My little sister has been clamoring to play with me all day and I've been denying her so I could finish this chapter up. Hope you liked it anyway!
> 
> After we finish up "Shichi's Adventures", I'll be able to focus more on the other story I have going, "Carmine Coffee". I might even be able to increase the amount of updates I do on it!
> 
> Exciting stuff, right? Well, we'll see how everything goes. I'll see you with the next update! Bye! <3


	22. The Bear's End (медвежий конец)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody! So this is it! The final, last, end-all episode/chapter of "Shichi's Adventures in Russia"! It's been really awesome writing this for you guys, and I'm happy so many people actually stuck around to the end to see all of Shichi's wacky past. It really means a lot to me. Thank you so much! <3
> 
> Also, sorry this episode is so freakishly late! Finals started up at my college and I got completely swept away by those. Shichi's stories kinda fell by the wayside. But it's back now and ready to finish strong! I think this is the longest chapter we've had yet so hopefully that makes up for it. Be warned: there is a bit of smut in this chapter. A bit! Not much. But it's there.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy! I'll see you at the end! <3

“Hello everyone. I have some important news for you.” Izaya said in an abnormally serious voice, looking directly at the camera.

“We both do, actually.” Shizuo added, nodding as he adjusting the frame to fit both of them.

“This will be…the final episode of “Shichi’s Adventures in Russia”.” Izaya told the camera, a small smile coming over his face at the words. “It was a pretty fun thing to do, but now it’s over.”

“No more random Shichi stories popping up online in some weird manga by the chick down the hall.” Shizuo put in. “No more us being ridiculously sweet narrators all the time.”

“This is the end of the “Private Lessons” characters.” Izaya agreed, breaking the fourth wall for a minute as he smiled at the viewers. “And it was great while it lasted.”

“Yep.” Shizuo agreed, smiling at his boyfriend by his side. “It definitely was.”

“But enough of that!” Izaya chirped before the moment could get too serious, clapping his hands together with a bright grin. “I’m sure you’re all wondering what story we’re going to be closing with for the last episode!”

“We happen to be wondering that ourselves.” Shizuo said sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. “Since we…well, we haven’t really decided yet.”

“So we’re just going to let Shichi pick a story from his time in Russia and tell it to us all.” Izaya informed the camera, pulling out his phone with a wink. “In theory, this will be his favorite story of all from the time he was there. So let’s get down to it and see what he’s got for us!”

Izaya dialed the number happily, putting it to his ear and giving Shizuo a thumbs-up. Shizuo nodded at him and sat patiently on the couch beside him, both boyfriends waiting eagerly for the person on the other end of the line to pick up.

After a few seconds, Izaya’s face lit up.

“Dad!” He said happily. “Sorry I’m calling so late. Finals and all. I was getting ready for them and so was Erika, er, I mean one of the people in my study group. So…I wasn’t able to call. Yeah.”

He waited for a little bit, listening to the voice on the other end. “No, I don’t have any particular questions today. Can you just tell me about something that happened to you in Russia? Something really important or something that you’ll never forget…”

***

It was a pretty crappy day, honestly.

Shichi was chatting with Vadim before they went on a mission together by the orders of Shichi’s mafia branch.

He and Vadim got along pretty well now. It had been just over eight years since Shichi first arrived in Russia and they’d had the Vorona incident. Shichi was twenty-five now. He liked to consider himself at least a little more mature than he’d been at the age of seventeen, and he now realized that there was no need to hold onto grudges for so long if nothing permanent had come of the issue. Vorona was still alive, after all. Shichi was going to her tenth birthday party later on that week. She was fine, she was happy, Vadim had really done nothing wrong.

The way Shichi saw it actually, Vadim could’ve killed Vorona before anyone else could’ve done a thing about it with his bare hands. By poisoning her, he’d given her a chance to live. In a way, it was almost because of Vadim that Vorona’s life had been spared.

No matter which way you looked at it, Shichi realized he didn’t need to hold grudges against anybody, especially not in the mafia. It lost you contacts and contacts were everything in a world of crime. So he and Vadim had made up, maybe three years ago. They worked together on a lot of missions now, the Ice Assassin and the Bear. Kazimir was nearly always grumpy whenever Shichi went out with Vadim but that wasn’t Shichi’s fault.

He still didn’t know why Kazimir hated Vadim so much. Shichi was pretty sure Vadim didn’t hate him. But…well, it wasn’t his place to ask.

“Hey Vadim.” Shichi said aloud, trying to pull himself out of those thoughts before he could convince himself otherwise.

“Yes?” Vadim asked, looking at Shichi curiously from his spot in the shotgun seat of the car. 

“Can we crank up the heat a little?” Shichi asked, watching as the windows on the car began to frost lightly from the inside out. “You’re fucking freezing us to death in here.”

“It’s not my fault. Blame genetics.” Vadim muttered grumpily, but he leaned forward and flicked up the heat nevertheless. It wasn’t like he felt the heat from the vents, anyway. Shichi had tried nearly everything he could think of to warm Vadim on their past stakeout missions. It was impossible. The guy was a solid block of ice, one that you couldn’t melt no matter how hard you tried. One that was entirely numb to any of the world’s warmth.

“Oh yeah. I’ll blame genetics all right.” Shichi snorted, giving Vadim a pointed look. “After all, everybody knows one of the inheritable traits you can get from your parents is the skin of a dead corpse that creates cryogenic sleep by existing. Just like hair color and eye color. Totally natural.”

“Shut up.” Vadim told him flatly. “I don’t want to hear this from an adopted Japanese brat who learned who his real parents were last month.”

“Hey. Sensitive subject!” Shichi whined, punching Vadim in his icy-cold arm. “Have a heart, Vadim! I need some time to recuperate!”

Vadim rolled his eyes, but the slight flicker of a smile that Shichi saw on his lips let him know that the Ice Assassin was joking around just as much as he was.

Then Vadim’s gaze hardened, and he leaned forward in his seat. “There he is.” The icy man said in a low voice. “Just coming out of the building now.”

Shichi glanced out the front window of their parked car, watching the tall figure exit the karaoke bar they’d been stalking for thirty minutes.

The figure turned to glance in their direction for just the briefest of moments and Shichi got a look at his face.

Craggy features, a big scar over one eye, one bald patch on his left eyebrow from an injury that would never heal, and deep green eyes. Yep. It was their guy.

“You know, it would suck to be on a mafia hit list and be so recognizable and distinct.” Shichi commented with a sigh, almost pitying the conspicuous man they were following. “This guy’s got no chance of hiding from us. He can’t even blend in with a regular crowd.”

“Let’s not sympathize with the target.” Vadim reminded him, gesturing for him to start the car. “Let’s see where he’s going and catch him once he’s alone.”

“Aye aye, captain.” Shichi said jokingly turning the key in the ignition harshly. The engine of their car gave out a strangled whine, clearly trying its best to wake up after the freezing ice that had begun to descend upon its interior, putting itself back into drive mode instead of just staying on for the sake of the heater. 

Vadim looked a little guilty when it took almost two minutes (and a lot of smacks to the dashboard and cuss words of endearment from Shichi) for the car to become ready to drive, but they finally got it up and running. And thankfully, Vadim was a master of tracking with prints of all kinds, not just human footprints. He could also identify different tire markings, even after a light dusting of snow had settled over them.

They found the car their target had driven away in in no time, parked outside of a simple, run-down apartment building in the middle of the suburbs.

“This is where he’s been staying?” Shichi muttered as they pulled up in the driveway of a different apartment a few buildings down. “How have our bosses not found him yet? It’s a pretty obvious location.”

Vadim shrugged, evidently not caring about that in the least bit as he pulled his gloves off in preparation for the hit.

Looked like he was going with the freezing strategy instead of a good old gun.

“At least let me shoot the guy first before you start freezing him to death.” Shichi called as Vadim got out of the car, a serious look settled over his grave features. “Then he’s got a chance to die a more natural way before he experiences your freaky, twisted way of killing people!”

Vadim’s response was shutting the car door in Shichi’s face without another word.

Shichi sighed, shutting off the car and climbing out on his side. “He never listens to me.” Shichi muttered to himself as Vadim started marching for the apartment. “Not once. Nope, nope, nope. Don’t listen to your partner. Why would you listen to your partner?”

He locked the car, slipping the keys into his coat pocket along with his hands as he began marching grumpily after Vadim. “I just don’t know anything about the job, right? Clearly, you know everything. So don’t listen to me. What a horrible idea.” He continued his rant, glaring at Vadim’s back.

“Don’t be petty and bitter.” Vadim called back without turning around. “I outrank you.”

“Outrank?” Shichi repeated with a scoff. “You’re not ranked! You’re not in the mafia system.”

“No, but I am ranked in the assassin community.” Vadim responded, shooting an icy stare over his shoulder at Shichi. “I’m over twelve ranks above you there, and I’m two ranks above your precious teacher.”

Shichi huffed at that, grumbling to himself as they walked along. “That’s only because I just started.” Shichi muttered with a pout. “I’ll be a little higher in a few years.”

Vadim did his flicker smile as he looked back at Shichi then turned his attention back on the task at hand, serious once more.

“We’re almost there. Get ready.” He called back, walking up the driveway to the apartment.

Shichi merely nodded in response to Vadim’s back, but he knew Vadim was aware of his agreement as they stopped in front of the door together, Shichi reaching out to ring the doorbell.

They waited for a few seconds, staring at the door in front of them. They didn’t hear any movement from inside the house. No lights came on. Shichi rang the doorbell again.

No response. It was as if no one was home, despite the shining car they’d just seen pull in.

“Do you think he knows it’s us?” Shichi asked Vadim at his side, still watching the door.

“I’m beginning to suspect he does.” Vadim responded, his icy eyes also locked on the door.

They waited in silence for a little bit longer. Shichi rang the doorbell one more time.

Again, there was nothing.

“…Should we go in now?” Shichi asked, glancing at Vadim out of the corner of his eye.

Vadim was silent for a bit longer, studying the frame of the door. Shichi just watched him, neither one of them speaking in the cold, icy wind.

“…Yes.” Vadim finally said, kicking open the door harshly.

“Well geez.” Shichi grumbled as the icy boy marched in. “Why don’t you give me a warning before you start committing property damage next time? I want to look away so I’m not liable in court.”

Vadim snorted with brief laughter at the sarcastic comment, his icy eyes raking over the apartment for any movement or signs of life.

They both knew there was no chance of either one of them getting brought to court and taken down in a trial. The mafia did pretty much whatever it wanted whenever it wanted to do it. No one was willing to stop them. And even if some brave, rich soul wanted to sue one of them, they would get out of it thanks to their lovely lawyer Kazimir.

Shichi glanced around the apartment with Vadim, trying to figure out if there were any stairs to upper levels that he could check.

They both heard a crashing sound off to the left, their heads snapping in that direction immediately. 

“I’ll check it out.” Shichi said immediately. “You stay here in case it’s a diversion.”

“Calling dibs now, are we?” Vadim asked with that flicker smile, but he listened to Shichi’s request nonetheless, being the good friend that he was.

Shichi walked over towards the kitchen area where the crash had come from, keeping his eyes out for movement or preferably their target. As he entered the dark kitchen, Shichi wished that he’d been able to bring Fluffles with him on this mission. Fluffles was a pro at finding targets in the dark. Shichi hardly had to move around before Fluffles would lock on, attack, and lead Shichi right to the screaming, startled victim.

But alas, the last time he’d taken Fluffles with him on a stakeout mission that he’d been working with Vadim on, his poor baby had nearly frozen to death just by sitting in the car with Vadim. As it was, Shichi was only able to sit with Vadim because he was bundled up in ungodly layers of fur and winter gear. He probably looked like he was on an expedition to Antarctica, not like he was sitting in a car with his stakeout buddy.

And since Fluffles refused to wear the little cat coats Shichi bought for him, he had to sit this mission out.

“I miss Fluffles.” Shichi sighed longingly, squinting in the darkness as his hand moved over the wall, searching for a light switch. “He makes things so much easier.”

Just as Shichi’s hand found the light switch, he felt a whoosh of air coming at him from behind. Egor had done a special training session with him to teach him how to sense movement not just by sight but by feeling the way the air moved around him. If he felt even the slightest brush of air where there should be none, it was a key sign that something was moving towards him.

Shichi instantly ducked, hitting the ground in a push-up position and swinging his legs behind him like a battering ram, knocking his would-be assailant to the ground with a startled cry as their legs were swept out from under them.

“Vadim!” He shouted towards the entrance as he quickly sprung to his feet, turning around to face his groaning opponent on the floor. “I’ve got one in here! It’s not the target, though.”

This man was too small to be their target. He was barely five feet tall – the previous man was at least six. Plus, when he pushed himself up onto his hands to glare at Shichi, Shichi saw easily that his eyes were brown instead of green and there were no visible scars on his face.

“Keep searching the house.” Shichi continued, keeping a careful eye locked on the unknown assailant. “I’ve got this one covered.”

“Understood.” Vadim’s voice called from the living room. “I hear movement upstairs. Heading up now.”

“Damn it. Knew I should’ve taken the stairs.” Shichi muttered, pouting grumpily as he looked at the person on the floor. “See what you did? Now Vadim’s gonna get the big hit target and I’m stuck with a scrawny whoever-you-are.”

“Ronin.” The person on the floor spat angrily, getting onto their hands and knees as they prepared to launch themselves at Shichi. “My name is Ronin.”

“Ronin?” Shichi repeated, cocking his head in confusion at the young man before him. “I don’t hear that name around these parts very often. Where are you from?”

Ronin didn’t respond. He merely threw himself at Shichi with a loud shout, apparently trying to tackle him and pin him down to the floor.

But Shichi’s reflexes were a lot quicker than they used to be, and he wasn’t as scrawny or weak either. Egor’s training had given him a lean, muscular build that was hard to take down in a fight, despite being deceptively small compared to some of his comrades’. This random man had no chance.

Shichi sidestepped the clumsy attack and drove a sharp elbow into Ronin’s back, sending him back to the floor with another cry of pain.

Shichi sighed in disappointment, looking down at Ronin with another pout. “This is just pathetic.” He whined, ears perked as he heard sounds of fighting and struggling from upstairs. “Vadim’s probably having a field day up there!”

“Who are you people?” Ronin demanded, spinning around to hiss at Shichi again. “Why are you here? What do you think you’re doing?”

“So many questions.” Shichi muttered, shaking his head. “You don’t usually get to ask questions, dude, but since there’s nothing better for me to do, I’ll answer a few of them.”

Ronin gnashed his teeth at the noncommittal way in which Shichi spoke but nodded in appreciation nonetheless. Weird. First he couldn’t stop trying to attack Shichi, and now he almost seemed respectful of Shichi’s power over him. Who was this guy?

“First off, me and my partner aren’t from the same organization.” Shichi began, still not letting his guard down as he watched the man on the ground before him. “He’s a freelancer. I’m from the Ice Storm branch of the Russian mafia.” He decided to just use the English words Ice Storm in case this guy was a foreigner of some kind, despite the fact that he was speaking perfect Russian. He seemed a little ignorant of the ways of the Russian law.

“The…mafia?” Ronin repeated slowly, his eyebrows raising in shock. “Like…like the Russian mafia? The KGB?!”

…This guy had to be a foreigner.

“We’re not the KGB.” Shichi snapped in irritation, rolling his eyes at the idiot. “The KGB work for the government. They’re more like secret police that aren’t very secret. We work for ourselves. We’re secret gangsters that also aren’t very secret.”

Ronin looked at Shichi in shock as though this were all incredible news to him. “So then…” He began slowly. “Do you like…kill people?”

“Yes.” Shichi responded, just as slowly. “That’s sort of the reason me and Vadim are here. We’re assassins.”

“Assassins?!” Ronin screeched, looking at Shichi in horror. “Why would you be such a horrible person?!”

Shichi stared at the man blankly. “Because…I’m good at it?” He suggested slowly. “I mean, I was just sort of thrown into this situation and I never really questioned it. Plus, I’m way too far gone now.”

“Shichi.” He heard Vadim’s voice yell from upstairs. “I’ve apprehended the target.”

“Great!” Shichi yelled back. “I’ll go get the car started!”

“The car?” Ronin asked in confusion, his eyes filling with fear as a sudden thought popped into his head. “Are you going to run him over?!”

“What? No!” Shichi laughed, patting the nervous man on his shoulder. “Heck no! We’re just going to take him to my branch headquarters and murder him in front of the big bosses. Our job here is just to massively incapacitate him for transport. The bosses asked for it that way so they could see proof of this guy’s death firsthand. Also, they’re sadists.”

Ronin shuddered at the idea of wanting to watch someone die. “W-What did he do?” The ignorant fool asked next, peering in fear over Shichi’s shoulder. “It can’t have been bad enough for the mafia to come after him, right?”

_“Then why do you think the mafia is here?”_ Shichi asked in his mind, amazed by the stupidity of humans once more. “I’ll have you know, this guy was a mole and a traitor to the Ice Storm branch. He was secretly working for Snakebiter, which is a group we’ve been at odds with for several years now.”

Ronin’s eyes nearly popped out of his head at that statement. “Mr. Potemkin was in the _mafia_?!” He shrieked in shock, gawking at Shichi like he couldn’t believe it. “But he was always so nice!”

“I’m nice too, aren’t I?” Shichi pointed out with a shrug, deciding that this guy wasn’t worth the trouble of killing and just turning to leave the kitchen. “Don’t talk about anything you saw here or someone else will find you and do the same thing we’re about to do to Mr. Potemkin.”

Hm…that might not have helped prove his point about being nice.

Oh well. Not like he got evaluated on his kindness or anything like that.

“Wait!” Ronin cried as Shichi tried to leave, stopping him for a moment in the doorway.

Shichi sighed and turned around, giving Ronin the flattest stare he’d given anyone in a long while. “Yes?” Shichi asked, his barely-concealed irritation probably more obvious than he would freely admit.

Ronin chewed on his lip for a bit, brown eyes uncertain, then he looked at Shichi and asked something that completely turned Shichi’s world upside down.

“Are you Kazimir’s lover?”

***

“Hi.” Shichi said pleasantly, smiling at the secretary in front of him. “I’m looking for a lawyer here named Kazimir Borya Sokolov. Is he in right now?”

The secretary smiled back at the polite young man before her, clearly happy to have someone friendly coming up to her for once instead of an angry Russian trying to sue somebody. “I believe he’s in his office right now, yes.” She replied, checking the timecards just to be sure. “Do you have an appointment with him?”

“Oh no. I’m just a good friend of his.” Shichi said with a smile. “He forgot something important at his house and I decided I should bring it to him.”

“How sweet.” The secretary smiled, gesturing to a hallway off to their left. “He’s in the seventh office. Room 314.”

“Thank you so much, ma’am.” Shichi gave the woman a slight bow – one of the few habits from Japan he hadn’t managed to kick after moving here – and walked down the hall, a smile on his face and rage seething in his heart.

He walked down the hallway as calmly as he could, his footsteps probably sounding more and more like pounding marches the farther he got. By the time he saw the shining number 314 over a nice mahogany door, he was flat-out stomping right up to it.

Without warning, Shichi kicked open the door to the room, glaring furiously at the broad-shouldered man sitting at a large desk in the middle of it.

“What the hell?” He demanded, flinging his arms out to the sides and letting his pissed-off aura fill the room. “Care to explain, bastard?”

Kazimir stared at Shichi, utter confusion filling those electric blue eyes that Shichi refused to acknowledge as some of the most beautiful eyes he’d ever seen. He was perched in a fancy office chair, a huge file of paperwork open in front of him and some kind of document open on his desktop computer. He was also in the middle of handing a shiny black pen over to a terrified-looking man sitting across from him at the desk.

Shichi didn’t care. He kept glaring at Kazimir, waiting for some kind of answer, and Kazimir stared back blankly, his hand still holding the pen out midair.

When Kazimir realized Shichi wasn’t planning on leaving anytime soon, he sighed and looked at his client with an apologetic smile. “I am so sorry about this, Mr. Binks.” He said gingerly, setting the pen down on his desk and lacing his fingers together in a very business-like manner before him. “Do you mind stepping out for a few minutes? We can get back to our arrangement afterwards.”

Mr. Binks took one look at Shichi fuming in the doorway, another look at Kazimir’s slightly-strained smile, and a light of clarity filled his eyes.

“N-No need to say anything else.” The man stammered, jumping to his feet and eyeing Shichi like a feral beast about to pounce. “I don’t want to get involved in anyone’s domestic troubles.”

“Domestic troubles?!” Shichi demanded, jaw practically dropping as he turned to look at Kazimir. “What the hell does that mean?”

“I didn’t say it. He did.” Kazimir said instantly, holding his hands up in defense as his poor client practically ran past Shichi and out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him.

Shichi growled for a bit, debating whether he would rather chase after the man and shake the details out of him or just finish what he came here for.

Well, the guy was probably just making assumptions anyway. Shichi highly doubted Kazimir would go around spreading rumors to his clients about being in a homosexual relationship. More than likely, this was something Shichi should just let go of for now and handle later.

Besides, he had a few questions for Kazimir that needed answering.

“Who the fuck is Ronin?!” Shichi demanded, walking over to Kazimir’s desk and slamming a photo down on the shining wood.

Kazimir blinked a few times at that name, his brain clearly trying to figure out how Shichi knew it as he glanced down at the photo.

It was one Shichi had taken himself of the young man from his and Vadim’s mission the night before. He’d asked the man if he could photograph him so he could bring proof to Kazimir and make sure they actually knew each other. Ronin had readily agreed. It was a simple shot of his face, nothing more, but if Ronin was so easygoing about the idea of being photographed by an assassin from the mafia, then clearly he not only trusted Shichi to take the picture to Kazimir, but at least had a decent idea of who Kazimir was. Otherwise, he would’ve been a little more hesitant about having his picture shown around to a lawyer with ties to the mafia.

Which naturally left Shichi with just a few questions about how Kazimir knew this Ronin guy, why Ronin trusted Kazimir so much, and why there were certain rumors flying around about him and Kazimir at this very point in time.

“Ronin…” Kazimir said slowly, eying the brown-eyed man in the picture. “He was a client of mine once. A bit of a numbskull. I think he’s from Italy, but his father is Russian so he speaks fluent Russian, even if he doesn’t understand much about Russia itself. He’s a fairly nice person. Only came in for a consultation about a stranger stalking his apartment. Why?”

“Because me and Vadim ran into this guy last night on our mission!” Shichi yelled, jabbing a finger into Ronin’s smiling face in the photo. “And he claims that you and I are lovers!”

“What?” Kazimir blinked in shock, stunned by the seemingly random remark. “Why would he say that?”

“Oh gee, I don’t know. Maybe because you _told_ him we were!” Shichi growled, grabbing Kazimir by his stupidly fancy tie and yanking him forward. Icy blue eyes met with electric blue as Shichi glared fiercely at Kazimir, rage simmering beneath his skin. “He said you took him out for a few drinks after your consultation. As a welcome to Russia sort of thing.”

“Yes. He was a foreigner and he’d just moved here.” Kazimir said in confusion, gently grabbing Shichi’s hand and removing it from his tie. “Plus he was already having legal trouble barely one week into his stay. I wanted to show him not everybody in Russia is a complete thug.”

“Well, that’s very nice of you.” Shichi snapped, still not satisfied with the answer. His fists clenched on the desk between them as he leaned in, pressing his forehead roughly against Kazimir’s. “My main concern with your niceness, however, is that apparently at some point in your little “welcome campaign”, you told this Ronin guy that we were lovers!”

“When did _that_ happen?” Kazimir asked, baffled by all these accusations.

“I don’t know! I wasn’t there!” Shichi snapped, pushing himself away from the desk and pacing back and forth in front of it as he fumed. “But he says you had one drink too many and then started talking about your lover.”

Shichi shot a look at Kazimir, pointing at himself angrily. “A.K.A, _me_.” He snapped. “You described me in “vivid detail” and told him what my job occupation was.”

“Did I really spill that much?” Kazimir asked sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head. “I don’t normally get that loose-lipped when I’m drunk.”

“Well, Ronin says you did this time.” Shichi growled, thinking about last night when Ronin literally began spilling practically every detail Kazimir had ever learned about Shichi out into the open. “You were _very_ open.”

Kazimir gave a heavy sigh, his head tipping down to stare at the top of his desk, eyes out of Shichi’s line of sight. “Sorry about that, Chi.” Kazimir apologized, using the nickname he sometimes called Shichi when he was trying to be cute. “I didn’t know I’d spilled that much about you to someone. Let alone a client. I must have been drinking hard that night.”

“He told me the date it happened. Said he wrote it down after he got home.” Shichi added absently, frowning at his friend. “November 4th? Did something bad happen that day?”

Kazimir paused when he heard the date, his whole body freezing up. “Ah…” He said slowly, reaching for his left arm and rubbing it slowly. “That makes more sense.”

Shichi stared at Kazimir’s arm as he rubbed it, trying to figure out what was going on. He knew that was Kazimir’s metal arm. He rubbed it sometimes when he was thinking about something unpleasant, and whenever Shichi talked about Vadim. Shichi assumed it had something to do with why Kazimir hated Vadim so much. But why was he rubbing it now?

“Chi,” Kazimir said slowly, his face still directed downwards. “Have I ever told you...about what happened between me and Vadim?”

Oh shit. This was big.

“Um, no.” Shichi replied cautiously, wondering what was about to happen. “Are you…going to now?”

Kazimir gave a short laugh at that, looking up to smile weakly at Shichi. “I wish I was strong enough to do that.” He said softly. “But I’m still too much of a coward to face the truth right now.”

Even if Kazimir’s words or the way he said them hadn’t been worrying enough, Shichi’s heart still would’ve stopped dead in his chest when he saw the look in Kazimir’s eyes. They looked hollow and empty. Like all the hope and warmth had just been sucked out of them. And they were filled with an undeniable pain, one echoing from somewhere deep inside of him. A pain Shichi could compare to the kind he saw in his own eyes whenever he stared into the mirror and thought about the way his adopted parents and siblings had always treated him over the years.

The way those who were supposed to love him hurt him more than anyone else ever had.

Shichi didn’t want to dive too deep into that shithole. Kazimir clearly wasn’t ready for it yet, not any more than Shichi himself was.

But…he still wanted to be there for him.

“Kaz,” Shichi started, walking around Kazimir’s desk and standing next to his chair awkwardly. “Um…I don’t know how else to say this but…I’m here for you, alright?” He put a hand on one of Kazimir’s oddly broad shoulders, letting it rest there in what he hoped was a comforting manner. “I know you don’t wanna talk about it. I wouldn’t either. But just know that, even if you don’t feel like talking, I’m gonna be right beside you.”

God, that sounded way too cheesy. Shichi wished he could take those words back and shove them down his throat. But they were out there in the open now. Kazimir could do what he wanted with them.

Shichi stared at the back of Kazimir’s head, watching the lawyer stare down at his desk like Shichi hadn’t even spoken. They stayed like that for several seconds, in total silence. Kazimir’s client was probably wondering if it was safe to come back in again.

Shichi was considering moving his hand and just leaving the room before things got even more awkward when Kazimir’s hand suddenly came up and grabbed his wrist.

He grabbed it tightly, completely enveloping Shichi’s wrist with his hand, but not squeezing very hard at all.

“Chi.” He croaked out, his thumb gently brushing across the top of Shichi’s skin. “Thank you.”

Shichi didn’t really know what to say to that. What was Kazimir thanking him for? Busting into his office and scaring away his client? Slamming a photo down on his desk like some angry wife and demanding answers? Standing by him while awkwardly touching his shoulder? Personally, Shichi wouldn’t feel like thanking himself for any of those things and he was trying not to think about the cheesy crap he’d spewed earlier. So, he was just going to go with it.

“You’re welcome.” Shichi said simply, in a voice that came out much softer than he’d thought it would.

Kazimir held Shichi’s wrist a bit longer, turning around in his chair and burying his face in Shichi’s stomach after a few seconds, hand still firmly grasping Shichi’s wrist all the while. Shichi placed his free hand on top of Kazimir’s head, smoothing his hair down soothingly and running his fingers calmingly through the golden strands of hair.

Kazimir eventually let go of Shichi’s wrist, choosing to wrap both his large, muscled arms around Shichi’s body instead, pulling him closer. Shichi let him, cradling Kazimir’s head against his stomach and continuing the calming motions of his hands.

Why was he being so compassionate with Kazimir, you might ask? Well, Shichi had no idea. He just knew that he didn’t want Kazimir to be in any pain. He wanted to help him. Even if that meant cuddling randomly in his office.

Kazimir sighed into Shichi’s belly, turning his head so that his cheek was pressed against the lean muscle of Shichi’s abdomen. “Chi…” He murmured, one of his hands beginning to rub small circles on Shichi’s back. “You’re the best.”

Shichi laughed softly at that, smiling down at Kazimir with more tenderness than he cared to admit. “I know.” He responded, still playing with Kazimir’s hair. “I’m perfectly aware of that.”

Kazimir chuckled at Shichi’s teasing remark, sighing contentedly again and pressing his face back into Shichi’s stomach. Shichi almost felt like Kazimir was sniffing him, but he didn’t mind that so much for some reason. All his teenage annoyance and frustration with Kazimir’s weirdly touchy-feely and sometimes admittedly sexual antics had all but faded over the years. He just accepted them like he accepted everything else about Kazimir.

They were best friends now. It was sort of what they did.

But then again…there were times like these where it honestly felt like maybe they were something…more.

“Sorry about Ronin.” Kazimir muttered into Shichi’s stomach, pulling Shichi back into reality. “I must’ve gotten drunk because that night is the anniversary of the thing that happened between me and Vadim. I always drink pretty heavily that night. Didn’t mean to ramble about you, though.”

“Maybe I was on your mind.” Shichi teased, letting his hands drop to Kazimir’s shoulders so he could rub them comfortingly. He’d learned a couple of massage tricks from Egor in the midst of some pressure point training. Never thought he’d actually use them, but here he was.

“Maybe.” Kazimir agreed, humming in pleasure as Shichi’s hands worked the tension out of his shoulders. “You’re on my mind a lot, you know.”

“Am not.” Shichi argued immediately, the response almost immediate, an instinctual denial of the developments between them as he continued to rub Kazimir’s shoulders. “I bet you say that to all your girls.”

“I actually haven’t been with any girls since I met you.” Kazimir admitted softly, pulling away from Shichi’s stomach and looking up, dead-serious, into his eyes. “Or guys. For eight years. I haven’t been with anybody else.”

Shichi felt his heart skip a beat in his chest at that, the icy-eyed man staring down at the muscular lynx in shock. His breath was coming a little harder to him now. He felt like Kazimir’s eyes were shooting electric sparks at him, rooting him in place.

The room…was it just Shichi or was it starting to heat up in here?

“Is…is that so?” Shichi managed to get out by some miracle of the gods, laughing nervously as he tried to wriggle out of Kazimir’s arms. “That’s just great. Good to know.”

“Shichi.” Kazimir insisted, still holding him tightly. “I’m serious. I haven’t seen anyone else since I met you.”

“And like I said, good to know.” Shichi said breathlessly, his heart beginning to speed up in his chest at the intense look in Kazimir’s eyes. “Could you please let go of me now?”  
“No.” Kazimir said firmly, getting up out of his chair so that he towered over Shichi, still holding him tightly against his body as he glared down at him. “Shichi, I really care for you. In a very particular way. One that I think by now you’re old enough to register.”

“Can we _not_ have this conversation in the middle of your office?” Shichi hissed, pushing against Kazimir’s muscular chest in vain. “It’s a little inappropriate!”

“Shichi, I want to know how you feel in return.” Kazimir practically growled, the feeling reverberating almost deliciously through Shichi’s body. He shuddered at the deep sound, trying his best to ignore the growing heat in his stomach at the vibrations from Kazimir’s voice. “I don’t just want to be chasing after nothing, okay? Especially when I’ve been chasing it for so long.”

“Kaz, I really don’t want to talk about this right now.” Shichi insisted almost desperately, squeezing his eyes shut so Kazimir couldn’t see his pupils dilate as he continued to struggle. “Can I give you an answer later? You know, when you’re not _working_?”

“No, because then you’ll wriggle out of it somehow like always.” Kazimir growled, his arms only continuing to smash Shichi up against his body. Shichi could feel his legs pressing against Kazimir’s, their pelvic areas grinding together in an unfortunately rough manner. Shichi accidentally let out a low groan of pleasure, his face reddening instantly as his eyes snapped up to meet Kazimir’s.

Kazimir looked down at him, his hips completely stilling against Shichi’s and his electric eyes more intense than Shichi had seen them in a while. 

“Shichi…” He said softly. “I don’t want to be with you just because you like my body.” He reached one of his massive hands up to Shichi’s cheek, gently brushing his thumb over Shichi’s pale skin. “I want to be with you because you like _me_.”

Shichi stared at Kazimir, his heart pounding in his ears, as he thought about those words. Did he like Kazimir? Did he like Kazimir, his own best friend, in that way? Was he ready to like anybody in that way, let alone his most trusted friend? What if something happened? What if they broke up? Who would Shichi go to for comfort? Isn’t that why everyone warned against falling in love with your best friend? It was a terrible idea!

And yet…why did Shichi get the feeling that he’d already done it?

“I…” Shichi couldn’t say anything. The words wouldn’t come out past his throat. He could only stare at Kazimir, locked in his gaze, feeling tight and trapped and more helpless than he’d ever been in his life.

But somehow, Kazimir saw the look in Shichi’s eyes and understood it. Of course he did. He always understood.

Kazimir’s eyes softened, and a smile slipped over his face instead of the intense glare. “You feel the same way.” He said gently, thumb still brushing over Shichi’s face. “I mean I think you do. I’m right, aren’t I? I don’t want to be one of those creepy guys who thinks people love them in return and stalks them all day when they really just want to get a restraining order.”

Shichi laughed a little at the small joke, the situation instantly becoming ten times more relaxed than it had been earlier. He smiled up at Kazimir, and just nodded his head.

The nod was all it took for Kazimir to understand completely.

And technically Shichi had never actually admitted anything. So they were still technically friends.

Right…because friends obviously started making out in offices in the middle of working hours whenever they made up after an argument.

Yeah. That was totally normal.

Shichi tried to shove the thoughts out of his mind as Kazimir shoved his tongue in Shichi’s mouth, their tongues battling for supremacy inside Shichi’s mouth as the two men twisted and grinded against each other.

Shichi raked his fingernails down Kazimir’s back, and Kazimir growled in approval against Shichi’s mouth, his hands slipping down to grab Shichi’s butt and roughly massage it. Shichi moaned into Kazimir’s mouth, leaning into the hot touch and grinding his pelvic area even fiercer against Kazimir’s. In response, Kazimir moved his hands up briefly and then slipped them underneath Shichi’s pants and underwear, his fingers instantly finding a certain hole in the back of Shichi’s body that he began to circle and press sensually. 

It was like for everything one of them did, the other had to try and do something back that was even worse. It really was a battle for dominance here.

And unfortunately, Shichi seemed to be on the losing end.

He moaned loudly, his eyelids fluttering shut at the feeling of Kazimir prodding around behind him, trying his best to keep his head clear despite the pleasure flooding his veins. He needed to think of a response. He needed…to…win…

Shichi moaned again, grinding helplessly back and forth between Kazimir’s fingers and pelvic bone, his body unsure of which one he wanted to press down on harder.

Kazimir chuckled at the reaction, letting one of his arms drop behind Shichi’s knees and push against them abruptly. Shichi’s knees buckled at the impact behind them, the smaller man’s weight falling instantly down on Kazimir’s waiting arm, his knees hooking over the muscular support while his upper body fell backwards. But Kazimir’s other arm was still there, his fingers still working teasingly around Shichi’s entrance, and Shichi’s body leaned back against this arm helplessly, the diagonal support being the only thing keeping him from falling over backwards.

Now Shichi was essentially seated on air, his butt hanging out as his knees hooked over Kazimir’s arm, Kazimir’s fingers still rimming him without mercy as he sat there helplessly, feet not even touching the ground anymore. Kazimir was holding up his entire weight with one arm, and still had enough control of his body left to hold Shichi’s upper body in place and rim him at the same time.

Who was this god before him?

Shichi moaned and leaned forward, wrapping his arms around Kazimir’s neck so that at least some of his weight was off of Kazimir’s arm. His knees pressed up in between their chests, his legs still hooked over Kazimir’s arm as Kazimir continued to play with his hole. If anyone saw them right now, it would probably be easy to mistake Shichi for some random child hanging off Kazimir’s body, folded up against the larger man as he was.

Except for the fact that he was being sexually tortured by the man holding onto him.

“Ka…Kazimir.” Shichi moaned, riding his hips up and down against the push of Kazimir’s fingers, pressing his face into Kazimir’s neck.

Yep. Shichi lost the battle.

Kazimir sucked in a breath at the sound of Shichi’s voice, the large man almost losing himself over how sexy Shichi was right now. He probably had no idea what he was doing to Kazimir, moaning and tucked up against him so sweetly, yet still managing to be just as demanding as he always was, pushing against Kazimir’s hand for more and more of what he wanted.

Shichi was a demanding little brat with an attitude problem and a license to kill anyone who looked at him the wrong way.

God, Kazimir loved him.

“I want to push you over this desk right now and fuck you into next week.” Kazimir growled, turning around abruptly and carrying Shichi over to his desk. Damn the law papers he had scattered over it and Mr. Bink’s liability contract. This was way more important!

He set Shichi down lightly against the wood, letting the smaller man unfold his body so his legs were draped over the sides of the desk, straddling either side of Kazimir’s hips. Shichi breathed heavily, his eyes glazed over with pleasure despite the fact that Kazimir was no longer touching him, his chest heaving up and down. Kazimir leaned over him, planting his hands on either side of Shichi’s head and looking down at the angel beneath him.

“You’re perfect.” Kazimir whispered, looking at the beautiful face he’d fallen madly in love with over the past eight years. “I can’t believe how long it took me to find you…and to realize that.”

Shichi’s icy eyes flicked up to lock with Kazimir’s, the bear breathing heavily beneath the lynx as they stared into each other.

“…Same.” Shichi panted out, reaching one of his hands down to cup Kazimir’s erection through his black work slacks. “So…can you just fuck me now?”

Kazimir laughed at the request, more than happily to comply as he removed Shichi’s hand with one of his own, kissing it tenderly while his other hand reached down to unzip his pants.

Even though Shichi was bottoming right now, Kazimir definitely felt like it was Shichi who had all the power. Shichi had the more dominant personality out of the two of them, Kazimir knew that for a fact. He knew what he wanted, he knew how to get it, and he both could and would command Kazimir to bend to his will. Shichi was the one who was really in charge here. Kazimir was just being dragged along helplessly.

Shichi gave Kazimir an impatient look, pointing none-too-subtly at his ass. “Any day now, Grandpa.” The smaller man snapped, reaching his own finger down there and rubbing himself. “Or I can handle it on my own.”

“No need to blackmail me!” Kazimir whined, pulling himself out of his pants and eyeing Shichi hungrily. “It takes a bit to get ready…and I don’t have lube on me right now.”

“What, you don’t keep lube in your office in case of those office sex fantasies?” Shichi asked teasingly, although his voice caught in the middle as his finger accidently dipped into his hole, a bolt of pleasure flickering over his face.

Now that just made Kazimir jealous.

Kazimir gripped Shichi’s hand tightly, pulling it away from Shichi’s lower area with a growl and kissing it again like before. “No. I happen to use my office for work the majority of the time I’m here.” He managed to remember the conversation they were having, pressing his lips sensually against each digit. “This is the first time I’ve ever had somebody sprawled out on my desk.”

“Wow. I feel honored.” Shichi purred, somehow back in control of his smart little mouth after going blank with nothing but moans and groans for five minutes. “Should I take off my pants to celebrate the occasion? Or are you planning on ripping them apart?”

Kazimir blinked and looked down in shock, realizing for the first time that yes, Shichi’s pants were indeed (somehow) still on. They’d been unzipped a bit and the top of his boxers had been shoved down thanks to the hand Shichi had forced down their front in order to reach his anus, but both articles of clothing were still hugging his hips.

“That’s gotta change.” Kazimir growled, grabbing the sides of Shichi’s pants and pulling them harshly. Shichi snickered as he did so, being the sarcastic, sassy little shit that he was, but pulled his hand out of his pants long enough to help Kazimir shove them down to his knees, letting them hang off his legs the rest of the way.

“Better?” Shichi asked, grinning at the look Kazimir shot him.

“Yeah. Better.” Kazimir grinned back, playfully nipping at Shichi’s ear as he slipped his own hand back down to the tiny ring of muscle he’d been playing with earlier. “Makes my life so much easier.”

Shichi could only let out a small moan this time, apparently much more aroused by Kazimir’s fingers than his own, his eyelashes fluttering as he tipped his head back in pleasure, groaning on the desk.

Kazimir licked his lips at the sight, bending down to suckle at Shichi’s neck.

“Kaz…Kaz…imir…” Shichi breathed heavily, panting as Kazimir’s tongue licked and sucked all over his neck.

“Chi.” Kazimir responded playfully, teasingly rubbing at Shichi’s opening as his erection grew. “Do you need something?”

“Hnn…mmm…” Shichi moaned, his fingers tangling in Kazimir’s hair and rooting him in place as his other hand started to roam Kazimir’s body. It deftly found Kazmir’s own growing erection, poised and ready to go, and wrapped around it like a vice.

Kazimir groaned into Shichi’s neck, biting a little harder to try and regain what little control he had over the situation at hand.

Shichi only hummed and purred in response, rubbing his hand smoothly up and down Kazimir’s cock.

Kazimir could feel jolts of pleasure racing through his spine at the sensation and he groaned audibly, plunging one of his fingers directly inside Shichi in retaliation.

Shichi yelped at the sudden intrusion, his hand freezing and tightening on Kazimir’s cock as he arched his back in ecstasy. He unwittingly pressed both their erections together, with his hand crushed between them, and Kazimir took full advantage of that fact, immediately grinding down on the smaller man to keep him and his tricky little hand right where he wanted them.

Shichi moaned at the feeling, his grip intermittently tightening and loosening around Kazimir’s cock as both his own cock and Kazimir’s rubbed up against his hand, the poor thing sandwiched in between them. A little bit of precum leaked out from the heads, spilling down to the pale appendage stuck in between them.

Kazimir ripped his eyes away from the hot scene and back to Shichi’s neck, where a few nice hickeys were beginning to form. Shichi was going to kill him for that later. He already knew that.

Kazimir started to swirl his finger around inside of Shichi, grinding down on him and kissing his neck some more as the smaller man became a writhing, moaning, drooling mess beneath him.

Kazimir could feel his own desire spiraling out of control at the feeling of being pressed this close to Shichi, the object of his desire for eight long years, their cocks pressed against each other, their bodies practically intertwined, his mouth finally leaving marks on Shichi’s body for all the world to see. Shichi was completely and utterly his right now, just the two of them, in this office. And Kazimir was wholly and unconditionally Shichi’s, ready to obey the smaller man’s every whim and command.

He’d never felt happier in his life.

Kazimir added a second finger, stretching Shichi even wider, and then another, loving the deliciously lewd sounds dripping from Shichi’s mouth as he continued to suck purple and red bruises from the delicate skin of his neck, still pushing and grinding their cocks against each other.

They were close to the point where they’d become absolutely one. Kazimir could feel it.

He started pulling away, ready to remove his fingers and replace them with his cock as Shichi stared up at him hungrily, drool dripping from the corner of his mouth, face flushed red with desire.

Just as he aligned himself and pulled back to thrust inside, lube or no lube, the door to the office opened.

“Did you figure out your problems yet because I have to pick up my daughter from daycare.” Mr. Binks was saying as he walked into the room, looking down at his phone and standing in the doorway, holding the door open for anyone walking by to peek in. “And if I’m not there on time, I get charged an extra fee. Which is sort of a big…” The man finally looked up and his speech trailed off, eyes widening in shock at the scene in front of him.

Which Kazimir didn’t really blame him for. His lawyer had some random man pinned down across his desk right now, pants and underwear pulled down, and was about to thrust inside of him like a poorly written hentai rapist.

Wow. If that didn’t get Kazimir fired, he didn’t know what would.

“Hello Mr. Binks.” Kazimir said as calmly as he could, refraining from driving himself into Shichi like every cell in his body was crying out for him to do. “Would you mind waiting outside for just a few more minutes? Terribly sorry for the inconvenience but something urgent came up.”

Mr. Binks stared at him in horror as though he was trying to figure out if this was actually happening or if it was just a nightmare.

“And…that’s my cue.” Shichi said, slipping so fast out of Kazimir’s grip that he didn’t even register Shichi had left until the smaller man was pulling up his underwear and pants, rearranging his shirt, and wiping the drool off his mouth like he was a pro at escaping these situations.

Shichi gave Kazimir a strange look, one that was half secretive smile and half mortification, and then vanished from the room like a ghost.

Kazimir was left standing there with his dick hanging out, sexually frustrated, and staring at a client who would likely start suing _him_ at any second now. 

Perfect.

“So!” Kazimir said brightly, shoving himself back in his pants, fixing his suit and tie, ignoring his painful erection, and sitting back down at his (thankfully not too messy) desk. “Would you like to continue our discussion from before?”

Mr. Binks stared at Kazimir for a few seconds, looked behind him as if thinking about Shichi, then back at Kazimir.

“Did you…fix your domestic issues?” The man asked slowly.

Kazimir glanced at the picture of Ronin, completely forgotten, lying on the corner of his desk. There was really nothing else to discuss about Ronin. He’d just been an unfortunate man who’d happened to be around Kazimir on the anniversary of the night Vadim betrayed him and poisoned his arm. Kazimir had gotten drunk like usual and ranted about the first thing on his mind. Usually on those nights it was Vadim. This time…it had been Shichi.

Kazimir smiled, a warm feeling blossoming in his chest as he thought about that. He’d finally moved on. He’d moved on from Vadim. Because of Shichi.

Pretty ironic considering how close Vadim and Shichi had gotten over the past few years.

But he would tell Shichi all of that later, hopefully before Shichi decided to friendzone Kazimir again. For now, he could safely say that there were no more problems with Ronin. In fact, Ronin was probably the last thing on Shichi’s mind right now.

“Yes.” Kazimir said with a smile, looking back at Mr. Binks. “We did.”

Mr. Binks watched him for a bit longer and then nodded, settling back down in his chair. “Sometimes it can take a few extremes to get those sorts of issues worked out. Glad you figured it all out. I can tell you’re a reasonable and logical man.”

_“I nearly fucked my best friend on my office desk in front of you.”_ Kazimir thought as he stared at the man across from him. _“And your impression of me after that is…reasonable? And logical?”_

This was why he worked for the shady people. Shady people don’t judge.

“Glad you agree!” Kazimir said happily, pulling out a new pen for Mr. Binks to sign the contract with. “Now let’s get moving with your liability case, shall we?”

“You, Mr. Sokolov,” Mr. Binks said with a grin, taking the pen and signing eagerly. “Are the only lawyer I will ever need.”

“Damn right I am. Now let’s go back to this issue you’re having with the police…”

***

Later that night, Shichi and Kazimir met up again. There was no friendzoning. But there was no sex either. There was only a clear and logical talk about what their relationship should be like since neither one was willing to lose the other if something went wrong.

Rules were made. Lines were drawn. An agreement was formed. It was an agreement that would follow them for the rest of their lives, even after one of them moved across the ocean to be a math teacher. Even after the other was called over to help him with a child abuse case in favor of a young boy he’d met and come to care about. Even after the two decided to stay in that distant island across the ocean together while the first one raised three children to adulthood. Even after the second started making plans to move in and help his partner raise those children, aided by a steely resolve and a ring in his pocket that no one knew about yet.

And it would continue to carry on, despite every twist and turn that came their way in the future.

***

“Ring?” Izaya asked, his eyes wide. “Wait…wait what ring?!”

_“No ring. Nothing. I didn’t say anything.”_ Shichi said abruptly on the other end, his embarrassment and panic creeping through the phone. _“There’s no ring. What are you talking about? I said…thing. Yeah, thing. So….bye!”_

“Wait no! No! What the hell?! Stay on this line, damn it!” Izaya yelled, shaking the phone desperately.

_“Can’t. You’re breaking up.”_ Shichi said lamely on the other end, getting ready to end the final call, once and for all.

“Like hell I’m breaking up!” Izaya yelled, glaring at Shizuo over his shoulder. “Shizu-chan, help me hunt my father down and figure out what this fucking ring they’re talking about is!”

“Done.” Shizuo agreed, already planning their next trip out.

_“Hey! No! None of that tag-teaming, nonsense!”_ Shichi ordered. _“At least give me a three day head start.”_

“No head starts!” Izaya roared. “Tell us what the ring is!”

_“Chi, are you on the phone right now?”_ A deep voice, very different from Shichi’s asked, cutting into the conversation from what sounded like the background of Shizuo’s end. _“Oh, is it Izaya? Have you told him yet? You haven’t told Mairu and Kururi, but you’ve at least told him, right?”_

_“Shut up!”_ Came Shichi’s panicked hiss. _“I don’t need this right now!”_

_“…You haven’t told him, have you?”_ The deep voice sighed.

_“I was going to get to it…once I processed it myself.”_ Shichi said stubbornly, refusing to admit defeat here.

“Processed what?!” Izaya shrieked, gripping the phone like a lifeline. “What are you processing?! What are you hiding?!”

_“Nothing!”_ Shichi responded instantly at the same time that Kazimir’s voice (for who else could the deep voice belong to) called out _“Everything!”_

“That’s it! We’re going over now!” Izaya yelled, hanging up the phone before Shichi could protest and running to grab his coat. “C’mon, Shizu-chan! We’ve got a parent, possibly a new stepparent, to grill!”

“Roger that!” Shizuo saluted, turning to his phone – his trusty camera – one last time.

“Thanks for being with us here on “Shichi’s Adventures in Russia”.” He said with a smile, golden eyes locked on the camera. “It’s been a real blast having you here while we sort out all the details of Shichi’s past life.”

“Now we’re going to sort out the details of his new life, so we’re leaving you here!” Izaya called, poking his head into the frame as he subtly slipped a jacket over Shizuo’s shoulders. “We had a ton of fun doing this…even when it got stressful…but all good things must come to an end.”

“And now we’ve got to chase down a new beginning.” Shizuo agreed, waving goodbye to the camera. “Again, thanks for having us and we hope you speculate about what exactly is going on with this ring thing as much as we are right now.”

“They don’t speculate. They know! Just like me!” Izaya snapped, grabbing Shizuo’s arm and yanking him to his feet. He nodded at the camera once. “We wish you luck on all your own beginnings, too!” He said, reaching out with Shizuo to shut the camera off.

“Bye!” They both said simultaneously as they cut the feed.

“Well, now that that’s settled…” Shizuo said, staring at his phone almost numbly. “It’s…all over.”

“Let’s get going, Shizu-chan!” Izaya yelled, running for the front door. “We can grieve over the show later! Right now, my father might be getting engaged to his best friend! Or is already engaged! My ship is sailing and I need to be there for the maiden voyage!”

Shizuo sighed, tucking his phone into his pocket and jogging after his crazy boyfriend with a fond smile.

There really was nothing he loved more in the world than Izaya, his antics, and his crazy family. Nothing at all.

And though Izaya probably wouldn’t openly admit it, he felt the exact same way about Shizuo.

That’s the beginning of their future story. The beginning to Shichi and Kazimir’s. And the end of a great line of characters, and the great crazy world that they lived in. The rest of their stories won’t be told on paper or in pen and pencil or on a document typed out at 12:20 in the morning. Those are stories for them to live personally, on their own, and we can all only imagine what sorts of stories they must be, and what sorts of adventures they must be having.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cheesy ending, right? And Shichi of course had to leave them on a cliffhanger like always, for old times' sake. This time he won't get away with it, though! XD
> 
> Anyways, all that stuff aside, I really want to thank you all for this awesome journey. The "Private Lessons" universe lasted a lot longer than I thought it would. Thank you guys for helping me see it through to the end. I love you all! I hope you have your own great adventures doing whatever it is you do!
> 
> Goodbye! <3 <3 <3

**Author's Note:**

> So as I'm sure you can all tell, the "first episode" of this "manga" will be up next Friday! Our fantastic fluffy hosts will introduce it, and then we'll finally get to see young Shichi on his adventures.
> 
> A little short thing about how the fic will work:  
> I already have plenty of material for Shichi's Adventures and all these things he's going to do so don't worry about that, but if you guys come up with any questions about his past, feel free to comment them! This entire story is meant to just answer whatever questions you guys come up with about Shichi, so if you think of any new ones, please let me know below.  
> Our fabulous hosts Shizuo and Izaya will read all of your questions and ask Shichi the ones they think are the best, so your questions may very well get written into the fic!
> 
> Anyway, this is just a fun little thing that I'm doing on the side while I get my next major fic decided on and set-up. I hope you guys all enjoy it, and don't worry, the following chapters will be much longer than this one. This is just the short little intro. From now on, there will be an intro and then an "episode".
> 
> Thank you all for reading! I'll see you on Friday! <3


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